words in movies
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters. Joey is holding a baby duck.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: It's my house-warming present for Monica and Chandler.
Joey: Uh-huh. And I named them Chick Jr. and Duck Jr.
Joey: Yeah, I figure they'll love it at the new house, you know? It has that big backyard. And then, when they get old, they can go to that special farm that Chandler took the other chick and duck to.
Joey: Yeah. It's a shame people can't visit there.
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Joey: Uh, I think she's still asleep. Hey, hey, how did it go with you guys last night? She seemed pretty pissed at you.
Joey: Oh my God. You and Rachel?
Joey: So what does that mean? Are you guys getting back together?
Joey: So, so is she still going to Paris?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: I bet you did!
Joey: Sure, yeah. Will you just keep an eye on the chick and the duck?
(Joey and Phoebe leave.)
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross, Phoebe and Joey are there.]
Joey: Oh my God! What did you say?
Joey: You can't just give up! Is that what a dinosaur would do?
Joey: Dude, I'm just trying to speak your language.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, you're not taking her with you tonight?
Joey: Ross, wait!
Joey: Could you get me a muffin?
Joey: Hey, you know what might help?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey and Phoebe are there. There is a white crib decorated with balloons in the middle of the apartment. Also, there are boxes all over the apartment. Joey is working on something on the coffee table.]
Joey: It's a... It's a "welcome home" sign for the baby.
Joey: No, I sat in the paint.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, sometimes...
Joey: Damn it!
Joey: You know, the baby can't read, Mike!
Joey: Monica just called from the cab. She said they should be here any minute. And apparently, there's some big surprise.
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Joey: (To Monica) Hey, so what is the big surprise?
(Joey stares at Chandler and Monica and finally puts two and two together. He gasps.)
Joey: Oh, they're so cute! Now, what, what kinds are they?
Joey: Hey, that pregnant girl's name was Erica.
(They hug as Phoebe and Joey stare at the two of them.)
Joey: Hey, maybe that's for the best.
Joey: Yeah. You know? You just... Look, you gotta... You gotta think about last night the way she does, okay? Maybe, maybe sleeping together was the perfect way to say goodbye?
Joey: Maybe that's okay. You know? Maybe, maybe it is better this way? I mean, now, now you can move on. I mean, you've been trying to for so long, maybe now that you're on different continents.. (Looks at Phoebe) Right?
Joey: Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her.
Joey: What?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Yeah, you are!
Joey: This is so cool!
Joey: But Ross, Ross. What do you, what do you think she's going to say?
Joey: Good luck, good luck!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Monica, Chandler and Joey are there, packing the last boxes.]
Joey: Oh, hey, hey, can I give you guys your house-warming present now?
Joey: Alright!
(Cut to Joey's apartment. Joey looks inside the cardboard box that used to be the home of Chick Jr. and Duck Jr., but they have disappeared.)
Joey: Ah... Chick Jr.? Duck Jr.? Don't hide from mama!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is still looking for the birds.]
Joey: Quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, quack, tweet, tweet, quack, tweet, quack...
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Joey: Yeah, yeah, they must have jumped off the table, 'cause now they're gone!
Joey: Oh!
Joey: You stepped on my egg roll?
Joey: Just put it on a plate and leave.
Joey: Alright.
Joey: Wait, wait. Do you hear that?
Joey: Oh! They're in the table!
Joey: We gotta get them out of there!
Joey: Oh, oh! Maybe we can lure them out. You know any birdcalls?
Joey: Well, maybe we can just tip the table a little.
Chandler: Joey, wait! The ball!
Joey: Oh!
(The ball rolls into one of the goals, and Chandler and Joey listen in horror as the ball makes its way inside the table. Finally, they can hear the birds again.)
Joey: Oh God! So what do we do?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Does that mean we have to bust it open?
Joey: Oh my God!
Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like I would have said in that sci-fi movie if I'd gotten the part. "Those are our men in there, we have to get them out! Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life; my time-machine."
Joey: It did not.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey and Chandler are still trying to get the birds out of the foosball-table.]
Joey: (yelling) Don't worry, you guys, we're gonna get you out of there.
(Joey picks up a hammer and a crowbar and gets ready to destroy the table.)
Joey: Okay. Here goes.
Joey: I need to say goodbye to the table first.
Joey: Okay. Table, you have given us so many great times. And you guys, Jordan, Victor, Joel... All of you guys. What can I say? You guys make us look good. You wanna say anything?
Joey: Okay, here we go. I can't do it.
Joey: Yeah, they're stuck inside the table!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Monica has completely destroyed the foosball-table, and Chandler and Joey are holding the birds.]
Joey: Yeah, you didn't even use the tools for most of it!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Probably not. Nah. I don't know how much I'm gonna wanna play after you go.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: I'm gonna miss these little guys. It was nice having birds around again.
Joey: What?
Joey: I could get a goose!
Joey: Thanks man. Did you hear that, you guys? You're gonna get to stay here! And, and it's good, you know, 'cause, 'cause now you have a reason to come visit.
Joey: Uh, lame cool guy handshake, yeah.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Joey, Chandler, Monica and the twins are there. Everything has been put into boxes.]
Joey: Yeah. Uh, does this mean there's nothing to eat?
Joey: I love you!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: So did you guys make it in time?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's apartment. Chandler and Monica are holding the twins. Joey and Phoebe are sitting by the window, while Ross and Rachel are standing together. The apartment is completely empty. Two men are carrying a large dresser.]
Joey: Has it always been purple?
Joey: Yeah. I guess so.
(They all leave the apartment. Joey helps Chandler with the stroller in the hallway, while Monica and Rachel have their arms around each other. Everybody walks downstairs to Central Perk. The camera goes inside the apartment again, and it pans around. We see the keys on the counter, and the final shot is of the frame around the peephole. The screen fades to black.)
[Joey enters]
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....
JOEY: Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
JOEY: Put it on.
Joey: Hey, best man number two, Joey Tribbiani. Now Im not good with the jokes like Chandler here. Boy...but ahh, I just want to say congratulation to the happy couple. I first met Ross in this coffee house back home...Home...New York City...Where everybody knows my name. Well anyway, I love you guys. (pointing at everyone.) But not as much as I love America. (Looking at Chandler.) Could we please..go home now?
Joey: Barmifsaed?
Joey: (smiling) I'm in it.
JOEY: Heh, what d'ya say?
Janine: (entering from her room) Monica! Chandler! Im really-really sorry about tonight. I dont know if Joey told you; I just couldnt get out of going to this play. Im sorry. Have a great time.
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
Joey: No. (Pause) wait a minute what was the little mermaid?
Charlie: I guess. There was hum... (she breathes deeply) there was another reason that I thought it was time to end it with Joey. I started to realize that I was having feelings for someone (pause) else.
(Joey whispers in Rachels ear to confirm his response.)
Joey: What's he doin' in my section?
Rachel: Dont just say yes! This isnt a game, Joey you can really get hurt out here. Okay, so do you want to pay attention or do you want to die?!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone except Joey and Chandler are there eating breakfast.]
Joey: (walking towards her to hold her and support her) Monica, you understand what we are saying, right?
JOEY: If you hated the bracelet so much, Chandler, you should have just said so.
Joey: (squinting his eyes) Are you kiddin'? I think I just saw a bat in the corner!
The Interviewer: (returning) So, as Joeys friends, is there anything that you guys think our readers ought to know?
[Scene: Terrys office, Joey has come to beg for a second chance.]
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh. Mommy
Joey: (sipping red wine from a glass) Who says that wine has to cost more than milk!
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Get out.
JOEY: How come you have two?
JOEY: [pulls out a VCR tape] Hey Monica, what's on this video tape?
JOEY: What is with your nose?
JOEY: Some girl ate Monica.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Rachel: All right, look. Why don't you just return the book, let Joey give her the clock pen, and you give her something worse than that. Like... a regular pen.
Joey: You guys, this is Shelley, shes interviewing me for Soap Opera Digest, and Shelley, this are my friends
JOEY: I know.
JOEY: Uh-huh.
MR A: [to Joey] Worth a shot, huh?
JOEY: Huh? Days of our Lives picked up my option.
JOEY: [sits down] Ohh yeah, that's the stuff.
Joey: If he goes first he can!
Chandler: Where did you, when did you, how did you... (Joey hits the back of Chandler's head) How did you get a girl like that?
Ross: (Pause) Of course I am! (Joey is relieved) Okay, let's go godfather.
JOEY: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
JOEY: What if we have to pee?
Janine: Joey, its Anne Geddes. Shes a famous artist.
JOEY: We dare.
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
JOEY: Hi.
JOEY: She laughed at you?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is seated, and the apartment is filled with baskets of fruit. Joey enters, check in hand.]
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
CHANDLER and JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: What're you doin' here? Aren't you supposed to be out with Rachel?
Chandler: My chair. Now, if anybody asks, your name is Rosita! (He runs out the door, grabs the back of Rosita, and we can hear Joey and Rachel talking as they are coming up the stairs. Neither of them have reached the landing yet.)
Joey: But Rachel has an apartment.
Joey: " by doin it."
CHANDLER, JOEY, and PHOEBE: Hey.
JOEY: No, inside good, outside bad.
Joey: Oh well, theyre killing off one of the characters on the show, and when she dies her brain is being transplanted into my body.
Joey: "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in!"
Joey: Hey Mr. and Mrs. Geller! Let me help you with that.
[Scene: An Emergency Room, Chandler and Joey are leading Ross in.]
Joey: (grabs the window from the outside and sticks his head in) (whispering) When is she leaving?
Joey: Okay. (He grabs a jelly donut, takes a bite, and guess what he spills all over himself. He tries to clean it up and smears it all over the shirt.)
Joey: Well, he's gonna. I'll see you a little later, ok? (To the Hombre Man) Hey, how ya doin'?
CHANDLER: Monica, will you stop? This is nuts. Do you know how long it's gonna be before you actually have to deal with this problem? I mean, you don't even have a boyfriend yet. Joey, she does not look fat.
Joey: What can I do? Look, I don't want to do anything to screw it up with Ursula.
JOEY: What?
JOEY: Yeah, so.
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Thats right! Cause Im a Tribbiani! (To Rachel) And this is what we do! I mean we may not be great thinkers or world leaders, we dont read a lot or run very fast, but damnit! We can eat!
JOEY: So where you gettin' it?
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Joey: You were right before. I mean, friends are so important.
JOEY: All right, all right. "Damnit Braverman, it's right there on the chart!"
JOEY: Yeah, can you see me in a place like this?
JOEY: Huh?
JOEY: Can you believe this place?
Joey: I wish. See, I guess another thing I probably shouldve told you about Ginger is that she kinda has a ah, artificial leg.
Joey: No, no, no, no! Hes fine! Look, look, look! (picks up the ball) Heres your ball! Get your ball! Get your ball! (he throws the ball and it bounces right next to the dog) Get your ball! My God, what have I done to you, huh? I broke the dog! Pheebs, I broke the dog!
Joey: Later! (He runs away down the hall and hides behind a corner to a whole other corridor.) Oh man! (Walks down the hallway in desperation.) Hot girl! Hot girl!!
JOEY: Uhhh, I don't think you're gonna like this.
[Phoebe runs over the curb. Joey gets in the back seat, Chandler in the front]
Joey: I can't believe I'm hearing this!
Man: Hey Joey, hi! Im Ray; Im the producer of the show.
Joey: Well okay, so then youre fine. The rule is when two actors are actually doing it off-stage all the sexual tension between them is gone. Okay? So as long as its hot onstage you got nothing to worry about. Its when the heat goes away, thats when youre in trouble.
JOEY: Well that's how I feel.
Joey: Yeah. It's actually our first official date
JOEY: Well then maybe I will.
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: I know. Yeah.
JOEY: Well, that was only 'cause I used the red one to unclog the drain.
JOEY: No, we're alright.
JOEY: Hey listen, I'm sorry about what happened. . .