words in movies
[Cut to the bathroom, Joey is taking a shower and Phoebe knocks on the door.]
Joey: Yeah?
(Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain.)
Joey: Is it the shampoo? Its guava.
Joey: Oh! Wait-wait! (Reaches inside the shower.) Is it my bologna sandwich?
Joey: Oh, wait-wait! (Reaches into the shower again.) Maybe its a pickle?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Monica, Joey and Rachel are there. Rachel is writing something on a pad, and then crumples it up and throws it on the floor.]
Joey: Hey, what have you guys been up too?
Joey: Wow! You guys seem to be having a good time.
Joey: Hey thats what all my relationships are like.
Joey: Hey, but at least you got that cool, pregnant lady glow.
Joey: Yeah, what going on?
Joey: Awwww!
Chandler and Joey: Surprise!!
Joey: What-what-what is so funny?
Joey: Now thats a thinker.
[Cut to Joey and Phoebe in the kitchen. Phoebe is watching Joey make a sandwich.]
Joey: A little salami.
Joey: Pastrami.
Joey: Yeah. (He goes over to her.)
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Joey: Oh! I know how you can get him, take off your bra.
Joey: There was a seen in Footloose...
Joey: Yeah-yeah, yeah, with that-that uh, plumber girl
Joey: What? Were you like in the movie, or Anyway, she takes off her bra under her shirt and pulls it out the sleeve. Very sexy, and classy.
(Emily spins the bottle and it lands on Joey.)
Joey: Welcome to America. (They both kiss.)
(Joey spins the bottle and it lands on Emily.)
(Emily spins the bottle and once again, it lands on Joey.)
Joey: If you didnt want to play, why did you come to the party?
Joey: Phoebe, what-what are you doing?!
Joey: All right look, yknow how-yknow how when youre dating someone and you dont want to cheat on them, unless its with someone really hot?
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Joey: Feel better now?
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise.
Joey: Well, I eat a lot of meat right?
Joey: Well, suppose until the babys born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-youd just be eating my animals.
Phoebe: Joey, I cant believe you would do that for me.
Joey: Absolutely! I could be a vegetarian. Theres no meat in beer, right?
Rachel: What do you get? (She throws her pom-poms to Joey and Phoebe and performs a cartwheel.) Emily!! (Tries to do another one.) EmilWhoa!! (She falls in Chandlers room.) Okay! So thats me as a cheerleader! Ta-dum! (Gunthers the only one that claps.)
(Joey and Monica rush over to her.)
Joey and Monica: Are you all right?
Rachel: Im fine! Im fine! Im just losing a tooth, its no big deal. I have a dentist! Yknow. Im gonna go put some ice on it. Excuse me. (She goes over to the ice and Joey and Monica follow her.) What do I do now? What do I do now?
Joey: Okay, time to take off the bra. (She glares at him.)
Joey: (trying not to be obvious) Take the bra off.
Joey: Oooh, what you got there?
Joey: Oh-ho-ho, yeah! Hey! Yknow what goes good with that?
Joey: Ooh, I was gonna say bologna, but thats much better. How about a little of that smoked turkey?
Joey: (He starts looking longingly at the sandwich.) Oh mama! Uh when-when is the baby due?
Joey: Ugh. Now if a cow should die of natural causes, I can have one of those right?
JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.
[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]
Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall?
Joey: Me too.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Joey: Hey.
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft.
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Joey: Whos seven?
Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! Its Joey!
Joey: Kinda, but Ive just been having way too much fun.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Joey: Two pizzas?!
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
JOEY: Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner?
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Joey: Whats in it?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Joey: Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!
JOEY: You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Joey: Thats Fergie baby!!
Joey: Now, dont argue with me
Joey: Oh-no, dont try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear.
Joey: Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip!
Joey: Wow, what-what do you think she wants?
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Ohh great!!!
[Scene: Joey enters his hotel room. The phone is ringing.]
Joey: Ahh Pheebs, you know youre still my number one girl.
RACHEL: Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you.
Joey: Right!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. All but Joey are present.]
Phoebe: Yeah. But yknow we were thinking about you, yknow we ordered the Joey Special.
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Joey: Hey, Felicity.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh, yeah.
(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
Joey: (entering) No! No! No! No! No! How you doin?! How you doinDamnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! (Goes into the hall.)
Joey: No.
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
Chandler: Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on!
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
Joey: Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Joey: Well, that went well. Yeah.
Joey: Dont you ah, dont you wanna ask me any questions?
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Joey: Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.
Joey: Ahh, the babies miss me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
(Joey walks up to them.)
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
Terry: Joey Tribbiani! Im surprised your big head could fit through our small halls! (Gets up) I gotta go Joey.
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Joey: You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)
Joey: Im so worried about him, yknow?
Joey: No you dont, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
(Joey makes a frustrated face and noise and walks away. He knocks on the next door and it's answered by an old man.)
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Joey: Can I ask you something?
Joey: Thanks man.
Joey: Hi!
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
(Joey puts his finger over his mouth to tell Ross to keep quiet. Ginger looks at Monica who looks away and leave.)
Joey: All right, Im gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Joey: Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: All right!
Joey: (asleep) So why dont you give me your number?
Chandler: For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey!
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Joey: Mornin' Pheebs!
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
Joey: Later! (Exits.)
Joey: That was good beer.