words in movies
[Scene: Rifts Restaurant, as seen in Mad About You, Joey and Chandler are there.]
Joey: Theres the waitress. Excuse me, Miss. Hello, Miss?
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
Joey: No, no... how come you are working here?
Chandler and Joey: No, no, no!
(Outside in the street, Joey and Chandler arrive, to peer through the window at Phoebe, by bending down to look underneath the shops signa large steaming cup of coffee.)
Joey: Im sayin I see a difference.
Joey: I dont care. Phoebes Phoebe. Ursulas... hot!
(Joey and Chandler come indoors.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Hey Pheebs, guess who we saw today.
Joey: Nope.
Joey: Nope.
Joey: Not from where I was standin.
(Joey enters, looking extremely pleased with himself.)
Joey: I went back to Riffs. I think Ursula likes me. All I ordered was coffee, she brought me a tuna meltt and four plates of curly fries.
Joey: She is so hot!
Joey: Pheebs?
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Joey: So that if we went out on a date, shed be there.
Joey: Cool, thanks.
(Joey lets himself in, carrying a large paper shopping bag.)
Joey: Hey.
(There is a loud knocking at the door through which Joey has just entered.)
(The wool-bound trio returns to the table. Rachel has to rush ahead to avoid becoming tangled. Joey brings the shopping bag over to Phoebe, and takes out a nice cardigan.)
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Joey: Yep. Ice Capades.
Joey: I dont know. I like her, you know. Shes different. Theres uh, somethin about her.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Joey: Okay... Well maybe now Im not okay with it not being okay.
(Joey tires of this, so he gets up to leave.)
Joey: Out.
Joey: (Spreading his arms wide) Yes.
(Joey nods his head.)
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
(Joey walks toward the door, then hesitates and turns back.)
Joey: You meant sex, right?
Phoebe: I mean, I know Joey is not my boyfriend, or my thermos, or anything, but...
Monica: Hon, you gotta talk to Joey.
(Phoebe gets up and walks across the hallway, but the door to Chandler and Joeys apartment is shut. She knocks, and anxiously waits for Joey to come, but instead her identical twin sister emerges wearing one of Joeys shirts.)
Joey: No, no, no I need a good lie to explain why I wasn't at a work thing today.
Joey: And of course, crotchless panties.
Joey: Okay, heres a good one for ya. Who do think would win in a fight between Ross and Chandler.
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Well, there were a couple of calls last night, but ah, I dont think any of them are gonna work out.
Joey: Thats your move? Boy Rach, youre lucky youre hot.
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Joey: What?! Why?!
Joey: You lied to me!
Joey: And you couldnt think of anything else?!
Rachel: Well, she told me too! (Points to Monica and Joey glares at her.)
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Joey: And-and theres no danger to her and the baby?
(For the first time we see that the woman Ross is talking too is in fact the hot girl that Joey is looking for. She just kinda stares at him.)
Joey: So? What-what-what happened?
Joey: I know. I know.
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
Joey: What?! Oh my-oh my God!
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Joey: So, whos the guy?
Joey: Somebody opened the door to the coffee house and a raccoon came running in, went straight for your muffin and I said "Hey don't eat that-that's Phoebe's" and he said.. <pause> He said.. "Joey you stink at lying." What am I going to do?
Joey: Okay, pick a card, any card. (Monica picks one) All right, now memorize it. Show to everybody. Got it?
Joey: But you called me 'Bert'!? That's our code word for danger!
Joey: Hey!
(Ross, Joey, and Rachel enter)
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Joey: Oh great, that'd be great. Thank you.
Joey: Uh.. <forgetting what the work thing was, rolls up his sleeve on his right arm and shows Phoebe, she looks>
Joey: I have to go to the bathroom too, but I dont want him complimenting my thing.
Joey: I know
Joey: Oh.. man..
Joey: Maybe now you can actually do it. You know? You can finally get over her.
[Scene: The Hallway between the apartments, Joey, Janine, Chandler, and Monica are returning from a double date. Chandler is telling a joke.]
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!
Joey: What-what?
Joey: Why?
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
(Cut to Phoebe and Joey)
Joey: Nothing
Joey: Yeah. Ya know what I think; I think we were all just being too negative.
JOEY: I didn't think anyone'd buy that, ok.
Joey: Uh, don't you mean "for whom?"
Joey: Yeah, like a moth to a flame, Im telling ya. Okay all right, so now you go.
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Joey: Yeah you are baby.
Rachel: Hey! Oh Joey, honey listen, thank you for talking to my yesterday about that thing with my boss. That really meant a lot.
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Joey: Yeah.
JOEY: See, this is why I don't date women who read. Uh-oh.
Joey: Well I can promise you, at least one person will be crying. (Points to himself) Im an actor, and any actor worth himself can cry on cue. (snaps fingers)
The Interviewer: (To Joey) Yknow I think its great you wanted to meet here. Yknow when most people hear the magazine is paying for it they want to go to a big fancy restaurant.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is there for his interview and everyone but Phoebe are hiding on the couch.]
Joey: Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
Joey: Oh man, this is great, uh? The three of us together again! You know what would be fun? If we gave this present to Emma from all of us!
Chandler: Ah, no-no-no just Ross. Ross and Joey is embarrassing enough.
Joey: And Ill have all the muffins.
Joey: Ewwwww!
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
Joey: No-no-no-no, hes not! No! Why are you trying to ruin the game? Come on!
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coasts all the way over there. (Points to the coast.)
Joey: Yeah, you got a couple hours?
Joey: I think youre right.
Joey: One.
Joey: Dude, stop talking crazy and make us some tea!
Joey: Thats kinda nice.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah!!
Joey: Right.
Joey: Matter of fact, I do.
Joey: Yeah!
(Chandler and Joey enter from the vending machines carrying sodas.)
[Time lapse, Ross and Joey are eating Rachels disaster.]
Joey: I like it.
Joey: Not anymore.
[The next one is from Episode 619: The One With Joeys Fridge.]
Joey: Ill take those to go. (To the interviewer) For the kids.
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
Monica: Joey! Youre doing great!
Joey: Okay.
Joey: No thanks.
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
[Scene: Chandlers bedroom, he is sleeping with Marjorie. All of the sudden, Marjorie starts talking in her sleep, awakening Chandler. After a little bit, she quiets back down, and Chandler tries to get back to sleep. Theres a short pause until she starts screaming, causing Chandler to scream with her. She quickly calms down. This all wakes up Joey, who comes over wearing the mouth guard, opens the top half of Chandlers door, and starts to complain about the noise.]
Dennis Phillips: Look umm Joey, I-I dont think youre quite right for this project.
Joey: I know.
Joey: Terrible! I messed up every line! I shouldnt even be an actor!
Rachel: Oh, Joey! Sorry!
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Monica: (stopping him) No! Joey, we swore wed never tell!
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Judge rules, Nutter-Butter.
Joey: And the duck gets the Nutter-Butter!
Phoebe: You know, it's so surprising that you and Joey have known each other for so long and I've never heard about you.
Joey: Uh, we stars just try to eat right and get lots of exercise.
Rachel: Hey, come on! I had this friend from college and I made the stupid mistake of telling Joey that one time she and I yknow kissed a little bit.
Joey: Nothing, Im just practicing blowing you off because Im gonna be a big movie star!