words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Chandler, if it really hurts that bad you should just tell her.
Joey: Whoa, dude, look out! You almost crushed my hat! (He picks a hat up from the floor. It's one of those magician stovepipe hats.)
Chandler: (examining the hat) And the bunny got away. (Turns and starts looking for the bunny as Joey puts the hat on.)
Ross: (glaring at Joey) This would be the place where you explain the hat.
Joey: Oh! Yeah, look there's this play all right? And I'm up for the part of this real cool like suave international guy. A real clothes horse. So I figure that everyone at the audition is gonna be wearing this kinda y'know, ultra-hip, high fashion stuff.
Joey: Yeah, like you could find something as sophisticated as this.
Rachel: Joey, if you wanna look good, why don't you just come down to the store? I'll help you out.
Joey: Great! Thanks, Rach!
Joey: All right.
Joey: Are you all right?
Joey: Pheebs! Sorry!
Joey: Pheebs, I'm so sorry.
[Scene: Bloomingdale's, Rachel is fixing Joey up with some new clothes.]
Rachel: Okay now Joey, y'know that since you're returning all of this stuff right after the audition you're gonna have to wear underwear?
Joey: All right, then you'd better show me some of that too then.
Rachel: Okay, it's missing something. Ooh, I know! Umm, okay. (Goes and grabs a bag, that looks like a purse, and shows it to Joey.)
Joey: Really? A purse?
Joey: It looks like a women's purse.
Rachel: No Joey, look. Trust me, all the men are wearing them in the spring catalog. Look. (Shows him.) See look, men, carrying the bag.
Joey: See look, women, carrying the bag. (He puts it on his shoulder and looks at himself in the mirror and likes what he sees.) But it is odd how a women's purse looks good on me, a man.
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Rachel: No! No Joey! U-N-I-sex.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross and Chandler are on the couch as Joey enters with his new bag.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Rachel: (entering) Joey, what are you doing with the bag? You're audition is not until tomorrow.
Joey: Yeah, but sandwich time is right now. (Removes a sandwich and starts eating.)
Rachel: Joey, y'know you get any mustard on that bag, you can't return it.
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Joey: Fine! Do you take Vasa or Mustercard? (He's holding the fake credit cards that come with the bag.)
Rachel: (glaring at him) Joey
Joey: All right relax, look I'll pay you with the money from the acting job I am definitely gonna get thanks to you.
Joey: U-N-I-sexy? (Smiles provocatively.)
Joey: Hey Pheebs, I'm so sorry.
Joey: Here, I brought you some flowers. (He pulls them out of the bag.)
Joey: (approaches, wearing his glasses) Hey you guys, check it out. Check it out. (Moves his hand towards and away from his face.) It's like it's coming right at me. (Chandler helps out a little bit by pushing on Joey's arm, which causes his hand to slap him in his face.)
Joey: What did you say to him?
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
Joey: Y'know what? Make fun all you want. This is a great bag! Okay? And it's as handy as it is becoming. Now, just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it wrong. All right? So from now on you guys are gonna have to get used to the fact that Joey, (pats the bag) comes with a bag! (Exits.)
The Casting Director: Any time you're ready, Joey.
Joey: (reading from the script) Well, you must be new here. Why don't we get a table and I'll buy you a drink.
Joey: Yeah, sure. (He takes it off and starts reading.) Well, you must be new here. Maybe we shouldI'm sorry, can I ask you something? (He stops and asks a question.)
Joey: Well, first it's not a purse.
Joey: I mean if-if you're thinking it's a woman's bag, it's not. It's a man's bag!
Joey: All right look, let me show you the catalog! (Does so.) See? Huh? It's the latest thing! Everyone's got one! Men! Women! Children! Everyone's carrying them!
Joey: Noooo. No-no-no, these babies sell themselves.
Joey: Yeah but I didnt read anything.
Joey: Okay! All right, I'll see ya. (As he's walking off stage.) (Patting the bag.) We got it! We got it!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey returns from his audition and finds everyone but Phoebe there.]
Joey: (dejected) Hi.
Joey: Estelle said I didn't get it. (Sits down next to Rachel on the couch.)
Rachel: What?! Why? Joey you were so ready for it!
Joey: Yeah, I thought so too but, she said the casting people had some problems with me.
Joey: Well to tell you the truth, they uh, (Pause) they had a problem with the bag!
Joey: Y'know what? It was a stupid play anyway!
Monica: Y'know, Joey, I think it's time to give up the bag.
Joey: I don't wanna give up the bag. I don't have to give up the bag! Do I Rach? (She's avoiding his eyes.) Oh, you think I should give up the bag!
Rachel: Honey wait, Joey, Im sorry I mean as terrific as I think you are with it (Looks for help.)
Joey: I can't believe I'm hearing this!
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Hey, cut him some slack. It was Chandler's idea.
[Joey enters.]
ROSS, CHANDLER & JOEY: Yes!
JOEY: Are you really not going?
JOEY: Hey, if she were marrying a guy, she'd be like the worst lesbian ever.
(Ursula notices Joey waving his hand, and comes over.)
JOEY: Yeah, and she's really nice too. She taught me all about how to work the cameras, and smell-the-fart acting.
RACHEL: This is Joey, and Phoebe, and this is Chandler, and you remember Ross.
JOEY: Hey, look who's up.
JOEY: So, you were both dorks. Big deal.
Joey: Wow! Theres a lot I didnt know about vomit. (The duck comes to the door of the bathroom, quacking.) (To the duck) In a minute. (The duck goes back into the bathroom.)
Joey: He can still catch her! Come on, get out of there! (He opens the box) Get out of there!
CHANDLER: You're welcome. Hey Joey, thanks for parking the car [passes the dollar back].
Monica: (taking a drink from Joey) Are you through with that?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is telling Rachel and Monica about yet another mistake hes made with a woman.]
MONICA: Joey, speed it up!
ESTL: Joey, have you ever seen me ecstatic?
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
Joey: All right! Man, this is unbelievable! I mean, it's great, but
Joey: Yeah, you shoulda been there last night.
Joey: �Hola, amigos! (Hey, everybody!)
JOEY: No, my first fan mail.
Joey: Uh Look Rach (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.
JOEY: Oh my god, I got my very own stalker.
Joey: So what? I drove down, sold T-shirts, had a blast. And yknow who knows how to party? Drunk college chicks.
Chandler: (entering from bathroom, with an issue of Cosmo) All right, I took the quiz, and it turns out, I do put career before men. (to Joey) Get up.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel is serving Joey, Ross, and Monica their drinks.]
JOEY: Ah, the stalker.
Joey: I feel so stupid, you know? Why... why do I keep going after the wrong girls?
JOEY: Let's get out of here.
JOEY: She's comin'.
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Ross: No, no. This will always be your place. It would be too sad. Plus, how much a month does it cost to feed Joey?
Joey: Yes we do! Now look, that was the best nap I ever had!!
JOEY: Erica.
[Joey nods and shrugs.]
Joey: Itll be great! We-we could talk, and play games! Huh? This could be our chance to like renew our friendship.
Joey: Yeah, the Knicks rule all!
Joey: Oh really? Thatd be great! You guys can be the contestants!
Joey: You got all that from the back of her head?
JOEY: Yeah, and when you do, he'll be lucky to have you.
JOEY: Yeah it is. . . what?
JOEY: No one.
JOEY: Alright, just one. [she licks his hands rather emphatically] Wow, you're good at that.
JOEY: But that's what...
[Scene: Restraunt. Joey and Erica are still there.]
Joey: (excited) Thanks dude!!!This is GREAT!! (leaves Rachel very touched on the couch and goes into his room)
Joey: OK... my weirdest place would have to be... the women's room on the second floor of the New York CIty public library.
Rachel: (Swears in Italian, its the same term used by Joey earlier and Joey nods his approval.)
Joey: Anyway, it uh look itll just take me a while to get over her, thats all. Im not even sure how to do that, I mean Ive never been in love before so
Joey: And again, and again, and again... (phone rings, he answers) Hello? (hands phone to Chandler) And again.
JOEY: Who?
JOEY: Oh my God, quick turn off the TV.
JOEY: It's not what you think, that was...
RACHEL: Oh, I know, I know. [Turns on the TV. Joey in on it.]
Joey: Because I forgot about our date, I'm so sorry.
JOEY: Somebody wanna help me out here?
JOEY: I'm not Drake.
Joey: Hey come on now, this is a real date. Uh, so nice place you got here. Foosball, huh? Pizza box. Oh, a subscription to Playboy, my kind of woman.
Dina: Thanks so much for meetin with me. Joeys told me so much about you!
JOEY: 'Cause it's a television show.
JOEY: OK, alright, the people who threw the water.
JOEY: This is amazing.
(Joey gestures to show that he wouldn't dare...)
Joey: (goes over to Ben) Hi Ben! So you wanna be an actor huh? I gotta tell ya, it's no picnic. There's tons of rejection. No stability. One day you're Dr. Drake Remoray, the next day you're eating ketchup right out of the bottle.
(Joey hears the bell which means his answer is correct and is surprised. The screen now says "5 to win" and "Spanish words")
JOEY: Oh, now you're tellin' us how you feel.
JOEY: Gotcha. Phoebs, walk with me.
Joey: To her parents I think and she said you shouldnt call her. But if I were you I would.
Ross: Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a full house here. Ill guess just Ill come back. (Ross exits followed by Joey.)
Chandler: Y'know what, we should all calm down because your brothers not going to punch me. (to Joey) Are ya?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Monica switches off the VCR. Joey and Chandler are behind the couch.]
JOEY: Oooh.
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
Joey: No room? Its a baby. Its like this big. (Holds his hands about a foot apart.) Yknow, I mean you-you could you could put it over here. (A desk.) Or-or-or we could put it right here. (The chair.) Aw, its cute, right? Or-or we could put it over here. (By the bathroom door.) You wouldnt even notice it. Wheres the baby? (Mumbles that its over in the corner.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Chandler is getting help writing his vows from Joey and Ross.]
JOEY: Forget about it.
Amy: We’re gonna be roomies! (she snaps her finger and points at Joey, snaps her fingers again and points to the bags) Come on!
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey: Just being friendly. (He gives Monica a whats wrong with you? look and proceeds to walk behind the counter.)
CHANDLER: Joey!
JOEY: Ma?
CHANDLER: Joey?
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
JOEY: Are you naked in there?
Monica: Oh, what a great argument, exhaling! All right, y'know what, Ill prove it to you, okay. Ill trade you Joey for Rachel, and Ill still win the game.
JOEY: Well, let me see.
JOEY: Chandler's wearing panties.
ROSS: [to Joey who's looking over a toilet stall] Joey, some people don't like that.
[Ross enters, sees Joey in the mirror]
JOEY: Pheebs, who's Evelyn Dermer?
[Joey enters]
(Joey checks that Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)
Joey: Yeah, well, you don't have your racket.
JOEY: Aaaaagggghhhhh.
JOEY: Hey.
Joey: Oh uh, well I just came in for a cup of coffee to go.
Joey: Well Ross was hangin out over at our place, Rachel comes over to borrow some moisturiser from Chandler....