words in movies
(Camera moves to Chandler, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey sitting in living room)
Joey: Ross, did you really read all these baby books?
Phoebe: Ooh, this is cool...it says in some parts of the world, people actually eat the placenta. (Joey grimaces)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you know that right now, your baby's only this big? (measures about 2 inches with his thumb and index finger) This is your baby. (in baby-like voice) Hi Daddy!
Joey: (in baby-like voice) How come you don't live with Mommy? (pause; shows Ross less than amused) How come Mommy lives with that other lady? (pause; Ross still looks less than amused; Joey smiling) What's a lesbian? (playfully hits Ross)
Joey, Chandler, and Ross: (sitting in living room, imitating Paolo) Mma, Mma, Mmaah
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Joey: I love babies, with their little baby shoes, and their little baby toes, and their little baby hands...
(Joey opens door, throws keys on kitchen table, table falls over)
Joey: Need a new table.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler use their knees as a table to support the lasagna.]
Joey: That's the rule.
Joey: How'd you get to that?
Joey: You knew about that?
Joey: Ok, ok, How about if we split it?
Joey: Yeah
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Why, are you moving out?
Joey: You'd tell me if you were moving out right
Joey: Aw, I know all about Kip!
Joey: Well, let me ask you something, was Kip a better roommate than me?
Joey: So what's it gonna be? (Monica whispers in Joey's ear. Ross gets up and waves arms frantically in protest)
Joey: Or an uncle...
Joey and Chandler: Hey Phoebe!
Joey: Hey, Chandler, that table place closes at 7, come on.
Chandler: Fine. (Joey and Chandler walk towards the door)
(Joey and Chandler come back)
Joey: Whoa, store will be open tomorrow!
Joey and Chandler: Ooooohh!
Joey: Feminist issue. That's where I went!
[Scene: The Table Store, Joey and Chandler and looking for their new table.]
Joey: Will you pick one, just pick one! Here, how about that one? (points to a table)
Joey: So what, like people are gonna come in and think, "Uh-oh, I'm outside again?" Of course!
Joey: I don't know, birds just don't say, "Hello, sit here, eat something."
Joey: All right, how about the ladybugs?
Joey: Fine, you want to get the birds, get the birds!
Chandler: Not like that, I won't! (pauses) Kip would have liked the birds! (Joey turns and gives Chandler a dirty look)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross, Chandler, Joey, and Monica admiring their new table.]
(The camera pans back to reveal Joey and Chandler's new foosball table.)
Joey: Who cares, we'll eat at the sink! Come on, let's play!
Monica: Heads up Ross! (Monica scores on Chandler and Joey) Score! (points at Chandler) You suck!
(Chandler looks at Joey in amazement)
Joey: No-no, she kicked our butts. You could be on the Olympic standing-there team.
Joey: Yes, now is when you swoop! You gotta make sure that when Paolo walks out of there, the first guy Rachel sees is you, She's gotta know that you're everything he's not! You're like, like the anti-Paolo!
Chandler: My Catholic friend is right. She's distraught. You're there for her. You pick up the pieces, and then you usher in the age of Ross! (Ross and Chandler look off into the distance. Joey, wondering what they are looking at, looks in the same direction)
(Joey and Chandler run in)
Joey: Wha-
Joey and Chandler: What is it?
Joey: Hey!
Joey and Chandler: We already knew that! (they hug)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Monica is busy killing Chandle and Joey at foosball.]
Joey and Chandler: Shut-out!! (They both start heading for their rooms.)
Joey: Uh, it's 2:30 in the morning!
Monica: You guys are always hanging out in my apartment! Come on, I'll only use my left hand, huh? Come on, wussies! (Joey and Chandler pick her up) All right, ok, I gotta go. I'm going, (they throw her out) and I'm gone.
Chandler: (to Joey) One more game?
Joey: Oh yeah!
Joey: Right... (pause) ok, so just from the top of the page, right here.
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.
Joey: What?
Joey: but, but..
Joey/Drake: So what about us? Everything we feel for each other.
Joey: Ah, Rach, it doesn't say that!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! (She enters, followed by a young boy and a younger girl)...You brought your kids.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Joey: I think Saturday(groans in pain again).
Joey: Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry!
(Joey frowns...then looks as if he understands)
[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his mouth.]
Joey: You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Rachel walks in]
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Joey: What?
Joey: Oh...I don't think it's going very well...
Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.
Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...
Joey: Uh...well...just once...with you...
Joey: So...I've never played that!
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Joey: (enters the room) Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands)
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Joey: (entering the room) Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is packing some books and Joey is watching him.]
Joey: (yelling) Stupid Jane Rogers!!
Joey: I do it every year.
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: Yeah...
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Joey: Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Joey: (placing Hugsy back in the crib) There you go sweetie... (to Emma) This isn't over.
Joey: I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right?
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Joey: What party?
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Joey: It's a science.
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Joey: Monica!
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
(Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table)
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
Joey: Me.
Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey.
Joey: Gotcha.
Joey: Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke!
(Joey enters, wearing a bathrobe)
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Joey: Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isnt Rachel.
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!
Rachel: I just wanted to let you know I've changed my mind: I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna kiss Joey.
(Rachel goes look for Joey. She sees him and Charlie kissing passionately.)
Joey: Hey!
(Joey and Charlie enter. Ross looks at her)
Joey: Fine ... mediocre porn
Chandler: (to Joey) So, a professor, uh?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment]
Joey: (voice strained) Couldn't have this conversation down at the truck huh?
JOEY: Uhh, I'm guessing the threshold's clear now.
(somebody knocks the door, Joey opens and it's Charlie)
Joey: Come on in, how are ya?
Joey: I know, yeah!
Joey: Can I offer you a drink?
Joey: (looking puzzled and nodding) Ok!
Joey: Yeah, definitely, definitely. Ok, what do you wanna see first?
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
Joey: Which one, they all suck!
Joey: (looking puzzled) I don't think so.
Joey: Ross!
Phoebe: Its Joey! (Joey turns and looks at her and she mouths I love you to him.)
(Joey walks in and moves towards Ross, who's sitting of the sofa)
Joey: (checking) EH, what do you know!
Joey: Yeah, I'm... I'm kind of having a little problem.
Joey: I need to talk to you about Charlie.