words in movies
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's apartment, Ross is cleaning out the fridge. Joey walks from his room. He looks like he just woke up.]
Joey: What are you doing?
Joey: Why are you doing this?
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Joey: Hey, dont get religious on me, ok. (Ross looks a little confused.) A guy in your position needs to be a little better at relaxing. You know. Why do you think we have the comfortable chairs? Huh...come here sit down. (Ross sits down.) Ready? (Joey flips the foot rest up.) Ahh!! (He reclines the chair fully.) Ohh, yeah!! Huh?!
Joey: Ohh, no, no. Were not going to just sit. (Joey sits down and hits the speed dial button on the phone.) Shhh. (It begins to ring.)
Joey: (In a high pitched female voice) Hello Mr. Bing...I love you.
Chandler: (Angrily) Alright, whoever this is, stop calling me! (Ross and Joey laugh silently.) Its been six months! Its not funny!
Joey: But, I love you.
Chandler: Leave me alone! For the love of God, leave me alone!!! (Joey hangs up.)
Joey: And thats Wednesday. (He reclines in his chair.) Ohh.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Ross, Joey, Monica, and Rachel are there. Phoebe walks in ringing a bell.]
Joey: So Pheebs, where are you doing all, your bell ringing?
[Scene: Estelle's (Joey's Agent) Office, Joey is there.]
Joey: How could I not get the part? The play was about a 29-year-old Italian actor from Queens.
Joey: Shes a woman!
Joey: (Very discouraged) Okay, is there anything else?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is telling Ross how he didn't get the part.]
Joey: That part was perfect for me! I can't believe I didn't get it!
Joey: Come on Ross be realistic, y'know? If I did write something, what are the chances I could get those guys to star in it?
Joey: Wait a second, I could star in it!
Joey: I can't write! Y'know I mean I-I-I'm an actor, I don't have the discipline that takes, y'know? I can't do it.
Joey: Really? You'd-you'd do that for me?!
Joey: Thanks!
Joey: Done!
Ross: And it can't be Joey.
Joey: It's not.
Joey: (disappointed) Oh.
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Joey is trying to write his movie, Chandler is playing a game on the counter by trying to flip a ping pong ball with a spoon into a nearby bowl.]
Joey: Hey, how do you spell suspicious?
Joey: Because I think this character is going to be suspicious about stuff.
Joey: You're driving me crazy with that!
Joey: Dont stop! Move the bowl further away! Ross could make that shot!
Joey: Well, you suck! But at least you suck at a man's game now.
Joey: Chandler, I can't be playing games, Ross is gonna be home soon. And I have to write five whole pages if I'm gonna stick to his schedule.
Joey: (jumping up) All right! But uh, listen, what do you say we crank it up a notch?
Joey: All right, all we need is a little lighter fluid.
Joey: Yeah, I think we said good-bye to that when we invented hammer darts.
Joey: Uh yeah, right here. (He punches his fist through the wall next to the door.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is reading what Joey wrote.]
Ross: All right. (Reading.) A room. A man enters, he looks suspicious. (Stops reading a flips the page to find the next one is blank.) That's it? (Joey shrugs.) Joey, you're supposed to have five pages done by now! Including an exciting incident! (Flipping through the rest of the pad.) And what is, and what is all this?! (Reading.) The official rulebook of Fireball.
Joey: Yeah, that's the uh, game we were playing.
Joey: You're right, you're right, I'll get back to work.
Ross: (To Chandler) And shame on you! You should know better, Joey needs to work. (To Joey) Now come on!
Joey: Hey!
Ross: No! Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! You can have this back when the five pages are done! (After Joey walks past, Ross throws the ball down in pain.) Ahh! (Chandler shows him the burn spots on his oven mitts.)
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is cleaning the foosball table, Joey is working on his script.]
Joey: (To Chandler) I didn't finish my five pages.
Joey: Yesterday's pages did not reflect my best work.
Joey: Dude, if you think Fireball's relaxing, you've obviously have never played.
Chandler: The only reason you're doing this to Joey is because you're bored. Okay, it's not his fault that you're unemployed.
Joey: Come on look guys, don't fight.
Joey: Hey-hey guys, hey! How about we settle this over a friendly game of Fireball? Huh? I'll go unhook the smoke detectors!
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica, Rachel, Joey, and Chandler are listening to a story being told by Danny and his sister.]
Joey: Oh, y'know the same thing happened to me one time.
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
Joey: Yeah, wow, sorry Rach.
Joey: They're brother and sister!!!
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
Joey: (entering) Hey guys! I was at the library all morning and I already finished my five pages for today!
Joey: No dude, Ross tore up the tickets!
Joey: Yeah, well, that's fine, but the important thing is that I finished it. And uh, I think it's really good, but y'know it'd really help me is if I could hear it. So would you guys read it for me?
Joey: Okay. (Reading.) "It's a typical New York City apartment. Two guys are hanging out." Ross (Points to him.)
Ross: Maybe it was both of us, but we had our best friend's interest (Pauses and looks at Joey.) But we had our best friend's interest at heart.
Chandler: Could I be more sorry. (Looks at Joey.)
Ross: I don't know, I'm one sorry polentologist. (Stops reading.) All right Joey, we get it. (To Chandler) I'm sorry.
Joey: Oh no! No-no, keep reading! The good part's coming up. Keep going.
Joey: A handsome man enters. (Playing the part of the handsome man.) Hey! How's it going guys? I don't know what you two were talking about, but I'd like to say thanks to both of you. You, (Ross) you wouldn't let me give up on myself, and you (Chandler) well you co-created Fireball. The end.
Joey: No-no, this only took five minutes. I spent the rest of the day coming up with new, Ultimate Fireball. (Takes out a bowling ball and a propane torch.) Ha-ha!
Joey: (Reading the scene set up.) Okay, it's a typical New York City apartment. Two girls are just hanging out.
Rachel: Oh, y'know Joey, you are sick!
Joey: What?! Wait-wait-wait! The handsome man was about to enter!!
Joey: Rach, these are for you.
Joey: And for Ross, Mr. Sweet-tooth.
Joey: Uh-huh.
Joey: No, but with this new car smell, you'll think you do.
[Scene: Central Perk, Rachel, Monica, Chandler, and Joey are there as Ross enters with Phoebe.]
(Chandler and Joey give Monica a pack of condoms.)
Phoebe: Dont be so negative! Good God! Isnt it possible that Sorry is sitting in there (Joey and Rachels apartment) right now?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is eating breakfast, Joey quietly opens his bedroom door.]
Joey: Ahh, wait, is Wendy the runner-up Miss Oklahoma?
Joey: No dude, you gotta hold your breath until youre ready to answer the question.
[Scene: Central Perk, They are returning from the rugby game, Joey and Emily are carrying Ross.]
Joey: No! No, I quit a long time ago. (Pause) Did I forget to you that one? Im sorry.
Joey: Hey, you know, some of those are pretty hard! Like why would there be a ghost in my fridge? (pause). Yeah!
Joey: Hey, hey, uh, who did you miss the most?
[Scene: Coffee place, Joey is there, Chandler is entering]
[Another set of flashbacks begin with Episode 521: The One With The Ball, Joey and Ross are throwing a ball around.]
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: Hey! Sleeping beauty!
Joey: Hey. So where's Mon?
Joey and Chandler: Hi.
Joey: And you're not helping?
Joey: Yeah, you too.
Molly: Nice to meet you guys (to Chandler and Joey).
Rachel: And Joey?
Mac: (on TV) Well, if we learned one thing today C.H.E.E.S.E. is that cheerleaders and high explosives dont mix. (Cut to Joey laughing while Rachel, Chandler, and Monica arent amused.)
Joey: How do you think she's doing?
Joey: (reacting first by jumping up) Dude! What the hell are you doing?! God! (Heads for his room leaving Ross.)
(Treeger leaves, and Joeys dances off.)
Joey: Sure.
[Scene: Coffee place, Molly holding Emma and talking to Joey]
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
Chandler: Looks like Joey is doing allright with her.
Joey: Why not?
Rachel: Well of course I do! But yknow, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean youre up against the guy who survived his own cremation.
Joey: Yes!
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
Joey: For a walk.
(Joey falls on floor and gets up)
Joey: So you uh, have a big work problem?
(Joey comes over)
Joey: Oh ... (Starts to sing) Happy birth ... (sees Molly leaving) oh, see you later (runs after Molly)
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
Joey: Molly ... people don't study acting ...
[Scene: Ross's place, Molly and Joey are talking on the couch]
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Joey: Ok (admits)
(Ross and Chandler walk in, Joey looks disappointed)
Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Joey: Well Id be scared of them, but all right.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is watching a rabbi play an electric guitar on TV. Phoebe enters.]
Joey: Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Joey: On...?
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Joey: Ok! Stop it you guys! Stop staring! You're freaking me out!
Joey and Chandler: (start to sing) Hey! Happy birthday ...
Joey: (at the urinal) Can you stop yellin'? You're makin' me nervous, and I can't go when I'm nervous.
Joey: Do you know how hard this is gonna be on him when he doesnt get it?
Joey: Oh good...
Joey: Chandler Bing.
Joey: OK Thanks.(Joey touches the hot wax). I touched the stuff
Joey: Thanks. Do you get a lot of guys in here?
Joey: All right let's just do this.
[Scene: The Hallway, Chandler and Joey leaving girls' apartment, carrying lasagna.]
Joey: (dejected) Yeah, all right. (Thinks of something.) Ooh! (He quickly runs out before anyone can stop him.)
Joey: Oh-oh-oh, yeah! (He grabs some towels and takes them to him.) That's right, you take good care of those babies!
Ross, Joey and Chandler: Bye, Emma-Wemma-Demma.
Joey: (sitting on the sofa in front of the tv) Rach, come on! They are announcing the numbers! My God, I can already feel myself changing.
Joey: Hey, I need your help.
Joey: No! No, I-I just wanna thank you guys for what you did for my parents, that was really sweet. Theyre so happy they get to be a part of your special day.
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Joey: What, what.
Joey: (upset) Will the stable boy never get the princess??
Joey: Oh my God!
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Joey: Thank you so much.
Joey: Comb my eyelashes.
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Hey, they totally match! They look great! They look great! How you doing!
Ronni: Oh no, not you, big Joey. Oh my God, you're so much cuter than your pictures! (Joey stares at her) I-I'm, I'm Ronni....Cheese Nip?
Chandler: it was like the Algonquin kids table. (They all laugh, but Joey only laughs not to be left out.)
Joey: (pulls out a fork) All right, what are we havin? (Starts digging in.)
Phoebe: (entering with an aquarium covered by a towel) Hey, Joey, I got you another present. (She puts it on the counter)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Your eyebrows look weird.
Joey: Morning, roomie!
Joey: Ha, oh, of course.
Joey: No, hey, it's been great.
Joey: Wow! So, how are you?
Joey: Really?
Joey: Wow, really?
Joey: Well, actually it...
Joey: Ooh, names?
Joey: Sure, I know lots of girls.
Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Joey: Why are they doing this?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment. Joey is there as Phoebe enters.]