words in movies
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey, Chandler, and Phoebe are there as Ross enters.]
Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe: Hey!
Phoebe: Joey stuffing 15 Oreos in his mouth. (Joey, with an obvious mouth full, nods yes.)
Ross: 15? (Joey nods again) Your personal best! (Ross takes an Oreo and Joey mumbles, no!)
Joey: Done! I did it! Heh, whos stupid now? (He smiles and has cookie remains all over his teeth.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Rachel, and Phoebe are there.]
Joey: Well, I know what Im giving you for Christmas.
Monica: I mean I have not been picked on this much since kindergarten and they had to bring in someone from junior high to do the see-saw with me. (Joey laughs and Monica glares at him.)
Joey: Ohhh!
Joey: Hey, Mon! Im not doing anything, why dont you fire me?
Joey: Good enough to get fired.
Joey: Hey! That must be why I got fired last week! Does this Orson Wells guy direct Burger King commercials?
Monica, Rachel, and Joey: Yes!
Phoebe: (singing) Happy Chanukah, Monica! May your Christmas be snowy, Joey! Happy New Year, Chandler and Ross. Spin the draddle, Rachel!
Joey: What are you talking about? Lots of things rhyme with Rachel. Bagel. Mail. Jail. Bail. Able. May-pole.
Chandler: Oh yeah, I just showed this a picture of you and guys were throwing themselves at me! Theyre buying me drinks! Theyre giving me stuff! (to Joey) Knicks tonight?
Joey: Sure! Where are the seats?
Joey: Now, wait a second! You make food and robots?
Joey: Yeah, lady, I do! I got a problem with that!
Joey: Oh, what are you gonna do? Youre gonna fire me?
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: (checks his watch) Damn! (runs out to work)
Joey: (entering from the dining room) Hey.
Joey: Hey, what happened to your fancy chefs jacket? (sees theres a burn spot on it)
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Joey: Its still a tiny bit on fire there.
Monica: Thanks. (Joeys still patting the burn spot) I think you got it!
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
Monica: Hey, Joey, could you pass the cheese?
Joey: Yeah. Listen uh, Id prefer it if you didnt call me Joey. Since I dont know anyone here, I thought itd be cool to try out a cool work nickname.
Joey: (opening an envelope) Theres like-theres like 300 bucks in this one!
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
Joey: No maam.
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
Joey: I am so-so-so sorry. I was gonna do it! Really! But I was standing there with 327 dollars in one hand and 238 dollars in the other hand, and I was thinking, "Wow! Its been a long time since I had (tries to do the math in his head, but cant) 327 + 238 dollars!"
Monica: Joey, we had a deal. That-thats why youre here! Ive got to fire you!
Joey: And I gotta pay rent! Look, how-how about this? You dont fire me, instead I stay here, I gain their trust, and theyll start listening to all the nice things Ive been saying about you.
Joey: Well nothing yet, they really hate you and I want to fit in.
Joey: (interrupting) Hey! Chef Geller! Yknow that little speech you made the other day? Well I got a problem with it!
Joey: You bet I do! I just ah, wasnt listening then, thats all.
Joey: What are you gonna do? Youre gonna fire me?
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
Joey: Well I guess I shouldve thought about my wife and kids before I talked back to chef Geller!
Joey: Yep! Looks like its gonna be a leeeeean Christmas at the Dragon house this year.
Joey: (leaving) Lean-lean-lean!
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
JOEY: Plastic spoons. Great.
[Joey enters, his shoes have bells on, which jingle as he walks. He is wearing a long coat.]
Joey: Now hold on a second, fifth floor against that back wall?
Joey: Me too.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Joey: Hey.
(Joey sticks his head out of the shower curtain.)
Joey: (on tape) Oh, Chandler.
JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft.
Joey: In the woods. No wait-wait, thats the joke answer.
Joey: Wait up! (They both run to the bathroom.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey and Ross are talking over party plans.]
Joey: Whos seven?
Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! Its Joey!
Joey: Kinda, but Ive just been having way too much fun.
Rachel: I can not believe he would do that to MonWhoa! (She stops suddenly and slowly turns to point at Joey. Joey is avoiding her eyes.) Joey, do they know that we know?
Joey: What? You ordered pizza without me?!
Joey: Two pizzas?!
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
(They both start speaking Italian to each other, and since I'm not Italian and don't understand one word, we'll move on to the English portion of the show. Not, that I'm English. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that I'm not. Y'know I think I should shut-up now and move on. Anyhoo, she says something about Joey being fat I think based on this line.)
Rachel: Yeah, I cant live with Joey once the baby comes. I dont want my childs first words to be, (in a babys voice) "How you doin?"
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
Joey: Look Ross, I am so-so sorry. I-I-I
Joey: I cant hear a word youre saying, my ears are ringing so bad.
Joey: (to Ross) So, er... how did it go with Celia?
JOEY: Hey, whaddya wanna do for dinner?
Joey: Not a problem. And listen, hey! Since you're gonna be here for a while, why don'tI was thinking we uh, put your name on the answering machine.
Joey: Whats in it?
Waiter: Sir? (Looking at Joey.)
Joey: Well, I'm doing this telethon thing on TV and my agent got me a job as co-host!
JOEY: You partied with Hootie and the Blowfish?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey are standing by the kitchen entrance. A waiter comes out.]
Joey: Thats Fergie baby!!
Joey: Now, dont argue with me
Joey: Oh-no, dont try and talk all normal with that thing in your ear.
Joey: Look at that, Charlton Heston eating a liquorice whip!
Joey: Wow, what-what do you think she wants?
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
Joey: Yeah! Well, I think well see if they actually let you play. Huh? I mean they tell you anything you want to hear like-like, "You look 19," and then they just take it away like-like, "No you dont."
Joey: Hello?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: Ohh great!!!
[Scene: Joey enters his hotel room. The phone is ringing.]
Joey: Ahh Pheebs, you know youre still my number one girl.
RACHEL: Oh c'mon Joey, we care about you.
Joey: Right!
Joey: Hey.
Joey: Have you seen Monica?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. All but Joey are present.]
Phoebe: Yeah. But yknow we were thinking about you, yknow we ordered the Joey Special.
Joey: I can't. It's like this chemical thing, you know. Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna (grimaces and tenses up) pull my arm off just so that I can have something to throw at her.
Joey: Hey, Felicity.
Joey: Okay. (They both walk off to watch for Rachel.)
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oh, yeah.
(Joey comes back into the hallway and starts to pick up a heavy box)
Joey: (entering) No! No! No! No! No! How you doin?! How you doinDamnit Carl! Go wait in the hall! (Goes into the hall.)
Joey: No.
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
Joey: Sh-shh-shh! (He motions for her to watch something he has taped.)
Chandler: Yeah, Joey just pressed something on the remote and it just, came on!
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
[Scene: Pier 59 Studios, Joey is in costume and standing at the craft services table. He checks his pockets and finds some prop coins in a pouch, which he replaces with some cookies.]
[The next flashback is from The One Where No One's Ready. Joey is retaliating against Chandler hiding his underwear by wearing a whole bunch of clothes.]
Joey: Ewwwww!! Ew! Ew! Ew!
Joey: Well, that went well. Yeah.
Joey: Dont you ah, dont you wanna ask me any questions?
Rachel: Yeah. So yknow, I have all of these feelings and I dont know what to do about them, because I cant date like a normal person, which is fine because I dont need a relationship, I mean all I really want is one great night. Just sex, yknow? No strings attached, no relationship, just with someone that I feel comfortable with and who knows what hes doing. For just one great night, I mean is that really so hard to find. (Looks at Joey.) So how was your day?
Joey: Fine. Gang up on me! I got you all right where I want you.
Joey: Ahh, the babies miss me?
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross, Chandler, and Phoebe are there. Joey is working.]
(Joey walks up to them.)
Joey: Over the line?! You-youre-youre so far past the line, that you-you cant even see the line! The line is a dot to you!
Joey: (To Chandler) Dude! What are yoyou trying to kill me?!
Terry: Joey Tribbiani! Im surprised your big head could fit through our small halls! (Gets up) I gotta go Joey.
[Scene: Joey and Rachels, Joey is at the counter eating a bowl of Frosted Flakes.]
Joey: You spit on me man! (Wipes his face.)
Joey: Im so worried about him, yknow?
Joey: No you dont, I just saw you go in there with Monica!
(Joey makes a frustrated face and noise and walks away. He knocks on the next door and it's answered by an old man.)
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
(He walks away and Joey does Rosss fist thing. He then enters Richards dressing room, to find Richard cutting his steak with his sword.)
Joey: Can I ask you something?
Joey: Thanks man.
Joey: Hi!
Phoebe: (To Joey) You ate meat! (Joey is shocked) (To Chandler and Monica) You had sex! (Theyre shocked.)
(Joey puts his finger over his mouth to tell Ross to keep quiet. Ginger looks at Monica who looks away and leave.)
Joey: All right, Im gonna go say hi the chick and the duck.
[Scene: Casting Director #3s office, Joey is entering.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Ross, and Chandler are making a pit stop on their party tour.]
Joey: Come on, season tickets! Season tickets, do you know what that means?
Joey: Okay.
Joey: All right!
Joey: (asleep) So why dont you give me your number?
Chandler: For the last time no! Get out! Get out, Joey!
(Joey leaves and Monica comes up for air.)
Joey: Mornin' Pheebs!
(Phoebe and Rachel both pause, look at each other, and go press their breasts against him. Which Joey doesnt mind, of course.)
Joey: Later! (Exits.)