words in movies
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
JOEY: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
JOEY: Here it is, here it is. [reading from newspaper] The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
JOEY: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
JOEY: No, no, no, it.. it's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit.
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
PHOE: Oh, we were just trying to make Joey feel better.
JOEY: No, I'm alright man. Really.
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
JOEY: I just had a glass.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
JOEY: Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
[Chandler and Joey enter.]
JOEY: Hey.
CHAN: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
JOEY: With a man?
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
[Joey enters.]
JOEY: Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.
ESTL: Joey, have you ever seen me ecstatic?
JOEY: No.
JOEY: OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady...
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Well, the part's mine if I want it.
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
JOEY: Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that?
JOEY: I've never slept with someone for a part.
JOEY: Sorry.
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
JOEY: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
[Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: It was unbelievable! I walked in there and she was all over me.
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
PHOEBE: Ooh, this is it, 74. [screeches to a halt, Joey and Chandler are thrown into the plexiglass wall in the cab]
Ross: (trying to act manly in front of Janine) No I dont want to play video games, Joey!
Joey: Really?
Joey: Well, you lied again! (Rachel comes out of her room and is observing the conversation)
Phoebe: (To Joey) What?!
Joey: Uh-huh.
Joey: What do you mean?
Director: (To Joey) Okay, youre dancing with that girl over there.
Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big!
Joey: No-no-no! No-no wait Rach, you know what would even be more fun? Telling them.
Joey: No-no-no-no-no we came together!
Joey: Is this because I come over here without knocking and eat your food? (Walks towards the fridge) Because I can stop doing that, (looks at the fridge) I really, really think I can!
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler, Joey, Monica, and Ross are there.]
[Scene: The Mens Bathroom, the tall guy is there as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
[Scene Joey and Janines new apartment, Janine is there. Joey walks in to see Janine bent over, stretching.]
Joey: But it is our apartment!
Joey: Oh yeah? Well, you don't know about Hugsy, my bedtime penguin pal. (Joey shies away.)
Joey: I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch.
[Cut to Joey and Janine]
Chandler: Oh nope, I-I have plans with Joey.
[Cut to the roof, where Joey and Mr. Treeger are dancing happily to ^Night and Day^.]
Chandler: Look I never should have kissed your girlfriend, but Im (Joey hangs up the phone again.)
Joey: No! Year! Happy No Year!
Joey: Yeah. With a bite! (Takes back the sandwich.) Gee-e-e-eez!
[Scene: Joey and Janines apartment, they both enter.]
Joey: Yeah?
Janine: Joey.
Joey: But only in the moment. So do ya wanna kiss again?
Joey: All right! Now you go get that beautiful pig! (Ross hesitates, looks unsure) Oink!
Joey: No.
Joey: 3, 2,
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Joey: Whats not to like? Custard? Good. Jam? Good. Meat? Gooooood.
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, everyone is there as Joey enters happily.]
Joey: Oh we kissed it up real nice.
Joey: Yeah baby! (Chandler glares at him.) No baby!
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Joey: Okay. (They kiss.)
Joey: Mornin Pheebs. (Sits down.) Well, my movie has officially been canceled.
[Joey gives her an understanding look.]
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!
Joey: Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell ya. (To Chandler) I'm sorry man.
Joey: (indignant) I was tired!
Monica: Joey, you dont have too!
Joey: See ya tomorrow!
Joey: What?
Joey: I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing!
Joey: What-whats wrong with Monica and Chandler?
Joey: Blah?!
[Cut to Joey and Janines.]
Joey: I guess.
Bonnie: Yeah, Joey and Chandler sure are funny.
Joey: What? No, no, no! No, no... no... no, no... No, too much is changing, okay? First, Phoebe getting married (to Phoebe) Congratulations! (pointing to Monica and Chandler)... and then these two move into a stupid house in the stupid suburbs...
JOEY: Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
[Cut back inside to Joey giving a beautiful woman a tennis lesson by standing behind her.]
Joey: (Voice cracking) Well thats like summer in a bowl.
Joey: Uh, theyre like my best friends. Are you saying we cant hang out with them? Cause that would kinda be a problem.
Joey: Yeah that really calms me down. And! We have so much in common! She loves sandwiches, sports, although she is a Met fan, not much of an issue now but if were ever to have kids, well thats a
Joey: And a 50. (The salesman stops suddenly) Huh, these must be Chandlers pants.
Monica: Joey, this is for you. (gives him a jar of jam) It's blackberry curin.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Joey: Hi!
Joey: (scolding) Dude, theyre not objects.
Joey: Oh, shes uh-uh really sick.
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
Joey: Kay!
(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Joey: Uh, yknow, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.
Joey: (shouting) I can hear you!
[cut back to Joey on the beach towel]
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Joey: So uh, what are you guys doing?
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
Joey: U-N-I-sexy? (Smiles provocatively.)
Joey: You dont think I know that!
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
(Joey pats him on the stomach and heads to bed.)
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Joey: Did she just ask me out on a date?
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Joey: Oh well then, good night!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Joey: (entering from his bedroom) Morning.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
(Joey enters looking like Captain Stubing from the Love Boat.)
Joey: And he never played before either! Yknow what I think? I think beginners luck, very important in Cups.
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Joey: What?
Joey: Well, when its not right, you know it.