words in movies
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
JOEY: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
JOEY: Here it is, here it is. [reading from newspaper] The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
JOEY: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
JOEY: No, no, no, it.. it's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit.
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
PHOE: Oh, we were just trying to make Joey feel better.
JOEY: No, I'm alright man. Really.
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
JOEY: I just had a glass.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
JOEY: Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
[Chandler and Joey enter.]
JOEY: Hey.
CHAN: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
JOEY: With a man?
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
[Joey enters.]
JOEY: Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.
ESTL: Joey, have you ever seen me ecstatic?
JOEY: No.
JOEY: OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady...
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Well, the part's mine if I want it.
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
JOEY: Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that?
JOEY: I've never slept with someone for a part.
JOEY: Sorry.
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
JOEY: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
[Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: It was unbelievable! I walked in there and she was all over me.
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
Joey: Me too.
(Joey comes in from the back of the coffee house)
Joey: Alright, I can make my peace with the clean dry towels Also what is with these chips you bought?
Joey: I want you.I need you.Let me make love to you.
Joey: Yeah!Hey, you just have to promise not to get yourself thrown out again.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: Chandler! You are not gonna believe this! I have found my identical hand twin!
Joey: Also so gay!
Joey: Oh, wish me luck!
Director: Joey, Joey! We're ready for you!
Rachel: Hey Joey, is this the bed where Olivia lost her virginity?
Joey/Drake: You don't love him!
Joey/Drake: Oh, what about this one.
Joey/Drake: Fine. I'll go. But let me ask you one question...
Joey: Oh! (In an announcer type voice) And so the miracle of life begins, and aaiiyyyeeee! (He grabs his side and doubles over in pain.)
Joey/Drake: Tell me to stop, just...tell me to stop. (he's about to kiss her)
Joey: Well anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! I start shooting today!
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Joey: (seriously) Yes, its a highly controversial procedure.
Rachel: Joey, I gotta tell ya, I've been thinking all day about that scene you did, I mean, you were amazing!
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, all right, I can ask Monica.
Joey: Ow, I'm just going over the script now! You wanna read lines with me?
Joey: Oh, you are the best friends anyone has ever had.
Joey: Right... (pause) ok, so just from the top of the page, right here.
Joey/Drake: I can't believe you married him.
Joey: What?
Joey: but, but..
Joey/Drake: So what about us? Everything we feel for each other.
Joey: Ah, Rach, it doesn't say that!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! I mean Im sorry, I wish I can take everybody, but yknow Chandler always supported my career. Hes paid for acting classes and head shots and stuff and well this will be my way of paying you back.
Joey: Sandy! Hi! C'mon in! (She enters, followed by a young boy and a younger girl)...You brought your kids.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
Joey: Yeah! (Monica goes in the bedroom.) Yknow, she could use a little (Whistles that she needs to do what theyre doing.) (Something happens on the game.) Oh nice shot!!! (They all cheer.)
Joey: I think Saturday(groans in pain again).
Joey: Whoa-hey-oh! Sorry!
(Joey frowns...then looks as if he understands)
[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his mouth.]
Joey: You can't have S-E-X, when you're taking care of the B-A-B-I-E!
Joey: Hey!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's apartment, Rachel walks in]
Phoebe: Well, I, I like the idea of naming him after someone I love, and Joey and Chandler are great names. (They both stare at her.) But, all right, I dontmaybe Ill just name him The Hulk.
Joey: What?
Joey: Oh...I don't think it's going very well...
Joey: A little. Yeah no, I really am worried, you know, I mean I have to make it convincing that I'm in love with Olivia.
Joey: Well, I'm feeling really insecure about the one we are shooting tomorrow...
Joey: Uh...well...just once...with you...
Joey: So...I've never played that!
Joey: (looks at her for a moment) What the hell are you talking about??
Joey: Thats her! Okay, come on! (They go over and open the door.)
Joey: Oh my God! Congratulations Ross, because Chandler, youve been Bamboozled!
(Joey and Rachel continue to look at each other in silence for a while)
Joey: Look, my agent hooked me up with six tickets to a great play.
Joey: (enters the room) Hey, you guys, what are you doing tomorrow night?
Joey: You guys are gonna have a great time, I promise!
Joey: Okay. I got nominated for my part on Days of Our Lives!
Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands)
(Monica points at Joey, Rachel turns and sees him)
Joey: What do you mean? I can do anything, I'm a chameleon! Huh? (he mimes an old man with a beard) I'm old! (then he yawns) I'm tired! (then he mimes someone who's hot...) Hey, I'm hot (...and cold) I'm cold!! Huh?? Come on! What can't I do?
Joey: (entering the room) Hey!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is packing some books and Joey is watching him.]
Joey: (yelling) Stupid Jane Rogers!!
Joey: I do it every year.
Joey: Yeah...
Joey: Yeah...
Rachel: Joey, why wouldn't you invite us to your parties?
Joey: She was all crying. She-she said you guys want different things, and that and that she needed time to think.
Joey: (Smiling) I can't believe you guys went for that one!
Joey: (speaking aloud) Please, I was trying to be nice, you're the worst one!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, come on! Please, please! Let me come, I will behave, I promise! I will behave! Please, please, please...
Joey: Ok, ok! Fine! You can come, but don't tell anybody else. It's up on the roof at 8.
Joey: Well, I heard Emma stirring, so I came to make sure she could reach Hugsy.
[Scene: The hallway, Joey and Chandler are coming back from the game.]
Joey: (placing Hugsy back in the crib) There you go sweetie... (to Emma) This isn't over.
Joey: I was making a peanut butter smoothy, right?
Monica: You just wanna stay home so you can make a move on Joey!
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Joey: What party?
Phoebe: We know about your party Joey.
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Joeys Date: Sorry about that, but I couldnt get that lock to work on the door.
Joey: Yeah, I want my tickets too (takes the bowl from Rachel)! And I'm buying the Knicks! And Steffi Graff, ah ah!
Joey: You don't know how long we're gonna be in here! We may have to repopulate the Earth.
Joey: It's a science.
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Joey: Monica!
Joey: (To Rachel) What have you got there?
(Joey, resigned, walks to Rachel's table)
Joey: Name? (Ross looks at him.) I know Ross but whats it short for? You know like, like Rossel or Rosstepher.
Rachel: Joey, you're so sweet.
Joey: Me.
Rachel: Oh, Very funny... Joey.
Joey: Gotcha.
Joey: Yes, 'cause we live together, that's a joke!
(Joey enters, wearing a bathrobe)
(Joey motions for Rachel to lean in. She does so.)
Monica: Phoebe, you got Joey drums to annoy Rachel, so she wouldn't wanna live there anymore?
Joey: Good call. Yeah. But, the face Ross, the face isnt Rachel.
Rachel: I could, I could but I don't want to! I want to kiss Joey!