words in movies
[The gang is walking to a newsstand late at night. Joey is anxiously in the lead.]
RACH: Joey, would you slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of papers at one o'clock in the morning.
JOEY: I'm excited! I've never gotten reviewed before.
JOEY: Here it is, here it is. [reading from newspaper] The only thing worse than the mindless, adolescent direction was Joseph Tribbiani's disturbingly unskilled portrayal of the king.
RACH: Joey, honey, they don't know what they're talking about.
JOEY: Maybe they do. I've been doin' this ten years and I haven't gotten anywhere. There's gotta be a reason.
JOEY: No, no, no, it.. it's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit.
[Scene: Chandler, Phoebe, Rachel, Monica comforting Joey at Monica and Rachel's apartment.]
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
PHOE: Oh, we were just trying to make Joey feel better.
JOEY: No, I'm alright man. Really.
JOEY: Hey no, seriously, I don't need you to pick me... [Fun Bobby picks Joey up off the ground, bounces him. Joey laughs.] Alright! It still works.
[Chandler and Joey are watching, Rachel turns their heads away from Monica.]
JOEY: I just had a glass.
JOEY: [realizing what everyone else did a minute ago] Ooooooh.
JOEY: Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
[Chandler and Joey enter.]
JOEY: Hey.
CHAN: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kinda bittersweet now, but... Joey, that's who.
JOEY: Yeah, my agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives!
JOEY: With a man?
JOEY: What about Ross? I mean, are you still mad at him cause he made that list about you?
[Joey enters.]
JOEY: Well, I think it went pretty well. I.. I got a callback for Thursday.
ESTL: Joey, have you ever seen me ecstatic?
JOEY: No.
JOEY: OK, uh.... listen, there's something I want to talk to you about. The network casting lady...
JOEY: Oh yeah, yeah, she's great, but... I kinda got the feeling that she was sort of... coming on to me. And I definitely would get the part if I would've... you know... if I would have sent the Little General in.
ESTL: Oh, I see. Well, I'm just gonna put in a call here and we'll find out what's goin' on and straighten it out. [picks up the phone] Yeah, hi, Lori please. [pause] Hi darling. So how 'bout Joey Tribbiani for the part of the cab driver, isn't he terrific? [pause] Uh-huuuuh. [pause] Uh-huuuuh. OK, doll. Talk to you later. [hangs up] [to Joey] Yeah, you're gonna have to sleep with her.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: Well, the part's mine if I want it.
JOEY: Yeah, if I'm willing to sleep with the casting lady.
JOEY: Ten years I've been waiting for a break like this Chandler, ten years! I mean, Days of Our Lives. That's actually on television.
JOEY: Well, I guess I could sleep with her... I mean, how could I do that?
JOEY: I've never slept with someone for a part.
JOEY: Sorry.
JOEY: Yeah, she's totally good looking. I mean, if I met her in a bar, or something, I'd be buying her breakfast. [pause] You know, after having slept with her.
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
JOEY: Yeah, but after Denise DeMarco, I had to promote it.
RACH: Did Joey say what he was gonna go when he left?
[Joey enters.]
JOEY: Hey.
JOEY: It was unbelievable! I walked in there and she was all over me.
JOEY: Well, I couldn't do it. I told her I didn't want to get the part that way.
JOEY: But wait, wait, wait. Then, after I left her office, she caught up with me at the elevator and offered me an even bigger part.
JOEY: Soooooo... you are now looking at Dr. Drake Ramore, neurosurgeon, recurring in at least four episodes!
JOEY: Alright... I've got to go shower. [leaves]
Joey: Well then, do it better!
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Joey: Hey, no way, that roosters family!
Ross: Anyway, one thing lead to another, and... oh... before you know it, we were kissing. I mean, how angry do you think Joey is gonna be?
Joey: Or ha-ha, we could go over there and pee on them.
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Chandler: Okay, all right, I'll just uh, make sure that uh, Joey gets her something really great.
(Joey starts wiping lint off of her back, but goes at little too far and Rachel just glares at him. He stops, gives her the okay symbol and walks away.)
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Why?
[Joey enters]
Joey: You can pee here!
Joey: ...I d'know.
(We go into a flashback sequence with Joey remembering some of those times.)
Joey: Oh, I know...
Joey: Look, we are not gonna
Joey: Fine, fine, so, why don't the four of us go out and have dinner together tonight? You know, as friends?
Chandler: Well, y'know if Joey and I played with matches we could get you up to an even hundred.
Rachel: What did you get her? (Joey opens up a rectangular black box and holds up a pen.)
Joey: Hey Ross, listen, you want anything to drink, cause Im heading up there.
Joey: Why not?
Joey: Yeah. And speaking of volcanoes, man are they a violent igneous rock formation.
Joey: So, you just left? Her place was really that bad?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: Oooooh!
Joey: Wow. Thanks. So, uh, what happened?
Joey: All right, so... next time, you take her to your place.
Joey: You wanna see her again, right?
Joey: Yeah.
Joey: What kind of smell?
Joey: Yeah!
(His dad nods. Cut to later. Joey is chopping mushrooms)
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Joey: All right, listen, Ross... you like this girl, right?
Joey: So you're gonna have to do it in the mess!
CHANDLER and JOEY: Woah, hey, yo. [Rachel and Ross move]
Joey: Our place, the hall! I...
Joey: Uhh, look Katie, uh listen, we-we need to talk. Okay? Umm, look I like you. I-I really do, I like you a lot. Okay? But sometimes when you, when you playfully punch me like that it-it feels like someone's hitting me with a very tiny but very real bat.
Joey: Wow. That's almost as much as a new book.
JOEY: Supposably. Supposably. Did they go to the zoo? Supposably.
Joey: Waiting for my Grandma to finish my laundry. What about you?
Joey: Or... just get a card that has a poem already in it.
Joey: No, no, no, I'm telling ya. Imagine yourself living in a supermarket and you will understand okay? So the question is, what do we do?
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Oh, man, she loved it! She's over there showing Monica and Rachel right now.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is there, Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey!
Joey: (laughs) Thats cause sometimes I just do it through my wall to freak you out.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is looking out the window and Joey is sitting on the couch.]
Joey: Great! All right, so Ill call you later.
Joey: Yeah. Why are you getting so upset?
Joey: Whos Elaine?
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler and Joey are sitting on the big couch.]
Joey: Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?!
Joey: I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful.
Chandler: Joey! Joey!!
Kathy: So is Joey around?
Joey: Yeah?
JOEY: That is so not my motto.
Joey: Okay.
Chandler: Hey its Joey!
(Chandler walks into the living room, and sees all of Joeys sisters, all wearing red.)
Joey: (on phone) Hey dude, its me.
Phoebe: All right, wait! Just wait. Everybody just calm down. Okay? Let's give our friend Joey a chance to explain why he's such a big pervert!
Joeys Sister: Finally, I thought wed never be alone. Can I just tell you something, I have not stopped thinking about you since the party. (kisses him)
Joey: Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize.
Chandler: Oh yeah man. (to Kathy) Joey. (Hands her the phone.)
[Behind them, Joey goes up to the bandleader and interrupts the song.]
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Joey: Why?
Joey: Well, youre amazing.
Joey: No. No, Kathy.
Joey: No-no, Kathy.
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Phoebe: Does Joey know?
Monica: Yeah! Joey has the best boyfriend ever!
Joey: You do?
Joey: Whats up?
Joey: Yeah, she broke up with me.
Joey: Uh, Pheebs, you had a barrel for a dollhouse?
Joey: You know what? This is a bad idea. Forget it. Forget it, and listen, do me a favor, this conversation was between you and me.
Joey: Who?
Joey: What?
Joey: What?!! Thats even worse!!
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Joey: All right, let's think about this. I mean, there's got to be an explanation. Uh... did you do anything to make her mad?
Joey: (answering phone) Hello.
Joey: All right!
Joey: (answering phone) Hello.
Chandler: Oh! (Whispers something in Joeys ear and then in Rosss ear.)
Joey: Everyday use.
Rachel: And not one of your coupons for an hour of "Joey Love."
Joey: Guest.
Joey: Hey!
Joey: Uhh, 11!
Joey: No! Im putting that in my room.
Joey: No-no-no, no its uh, its okay.
Joey: Five years.
Joey: Yeah!
Joey: What?