words in movies
[Scene: Rachels Room, Joey moves Rosss coat to get the tissues Rachel wants and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.]
Rachel: Joey.
(Joey is stunned.)
Joey: Uh Look Rach (Ross enters.) Hey Ross is here! Hey look! Its my good friend Ross. Hey Ross.
Ross: Hey Joey. (To Rachel) Hey you.
Joey: Hey and look he brought flowers. Thanks Ross, but Im really more of a candy guy. (Laughs.)
Ross: Youre weird today. (He turns to Rachel and Joey puts the ring back.) (To Rachel) Listen I uh, wanted to talk to you about something.
Ross: Uh Joey, can you give us just a minute?
Joey: No.
Joey: Oh, Im sorry. I meant no.
Joey: Oh hey but, before you guys do that (To Rachel) I need to talk to you, and Ross, I need to talk to you.
Joey: (taking Chandler aside) Hey Chandler, can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Dude I just did something terrible.
Joey: No! No, that was Jack! Rachel thinks I asked her to marry me!
Joey: Because it kinda looked like I did.
Joey: Okay well, I was down on one knee with the ring in my hand
Joey: It wasnt my ring! It fell out of Rosss jacket! And when I knelt down to pick it up Rachel thought I was proposing!
Joey: I guess.
Joey: I know! I know its awful.
Joey: (happily) She said yes.
Joey: Oh God, what the hell am I going to tell him?
Joey: Oh, I like that. Yeah
Joey: (laughs) Now lets not get carried away. (He walks away as Monica comes over and hugs Chandler from behind.)
Joey: (entering) Oh uh, hey Pheebs. Uh yknow what? Ill-Ill come back later. (He goes to leave but runs into Ross whos entering.)
Ross: Wow! Kind of uh, kind of a full house here. Ill guess just Ill come back. (Ross exits followed by Joey.)
[Scene: A hallway, Joey and Ross find Mr. Geller with his ear up against a janitors closet door.]
(Ross turns to look at Joey.)
Joey: It cant be me, Im standing right here.
Ross: Yknow what? I dont like you without mom. (To Joey) Come on. (Walks away.)
Joey: (To Ross) Were not peeking? (Follows him.)
[Scene: Rachels Room, she is taking the ring out of Rosss jacket, looks at it, and puts it on her finger as Joey enters.]
Joey: Hey uh, is it okay to come in?
Rachel: Of course! Oh Joey, this ring I its beautiful I love it!
Joey: Yeah uh look Rach, theres something I gotta tell ya.
Joey: (watching) Yowsa! (Looks away.)
Joey: Dear Lord.
Joey: Oh uh-uh yeah, I think that
Rachel: Oh look, shes pulling away again! Do you think my nipples are too big for her mouth? (Joey gets embarrassed.) She looks scared. Doesnt she look scared?
Joey: Yknow, I dont really know her.
Joey: (To God) Are you kidding me?!
Joey: I dont know! Maybe shes crazy! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: Congratulations! I didnt want to say anything in front of Joey cause I didnt know if he knew yet.
Rachel: Joey asked me marry him.
Rachel: Joey proposed to me.
Monica: Honey, the question is do you really want to marry Joey?
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
Joey: No! She had the ring on, she seemed so excited, and then she took her breast out.
Chandler: Joey, you have to tell her whats going on! And what did it look like?!
Joey: I didnt look at it. Stupid babys head was blocking most of it.
Joey: Look, its not that easy. She said she wanted to marry me. I dont want to hurt her.
Joey: Youre right. Youre right. I-Ill go tell her now before Ross finds out and Ill be gentle. I can do that. I am a gentle person. Oh, by the way. Two people screwing in there (Points to the closet Chandler and Monica were in) if you want to check that out.
Rachel: You didnt propose to me. Joey did.
Ross: Poor baby, youre so tired. Rach, I didnt propose to you, Joey didnt propose to you, and Chandler didnt propose to you.
Rachel: Uh You didnt propose to me, Chandler didnt propose to me, but Joey did.
(Joey enters.)
Ross: Joey proposed to you?
Joey: I can come back.
Ross: Hey, wait! Wait-wait-wait! Joey, did you propose to her?
Joey: No.
Joey: Actually, technically, I didnt.
Joey: No! No, and I did not ask her to marry me!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: Ahhh!
Joey: Yeah. Yeah, that looks bad. But I didnt I didnt propose!
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: No, I didnt!
Joey: Well I tried, but people kept coming in and then you took your breast out!
Joey: (To Ross) Ill tell you about it later. Be cool.
Rachel: Well then Joey, what the hell were you doing with an engagement ring?!
Joey: It wasnt my ring! Its Rosss ring! Thats why I felt so bad Rach, because he was going to propose.
Joey: Well, this is awkward. {See? I told you so.}
Joey: Dude, step up! I proposed.
Joey: Oh thats right. Theres a lot going on here and I think I ate some bad fruit earlier.
Ross: (To Joey) I cant believe you told her I was going to propose!
Joey: I cant believe youre not going to propose!
Joey: Oh yeah, dude, I totally understand. Usually after I have a baby with a woman I like to slow things down!
Joey: (looking at the ceiling) Ah, its beautiful.
Joey: Yknow what you guys? Im uh, Im gonna go too. And uh, Im sorry about everything.
Joey: No, Rach, I shouldve told you sooner. Its just that Man! That kid is going to town! (Joey makes his awkward exit.)
Ross: When you thought Joey proposed did did you say yes?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Rosss bachelor party. Ross is thanking Joey for the party.]
Joey: Hi!
Joey: (scolding) Dude, theyre not objects.
Joey: Oh, shes uh-uh really sick.
Joey: No-no, she really is sick!
Joey: Kay!
(Rachel turns and gives him a look, and Joey quickly apologises.)
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Joey: Uh, yknow, starve a fever, go to a play for a cold.
Joey: (shouting) I can hear you!
[cut back to Joey on the beach towel]
Joey: (entering) Hey!
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
Joey: So uh, what are you guys doing?
Joey: Ross, don't let her drink anymore! (Exits)
Joey: U-N-I-sexy? (Smiles provocatively.)
Joey: You dont think I know that!
[Scene: The street, Chandler and Joey are walking past a jewelery store.]
(Joey pats him on the stomach and heads to bed.)
Joey: Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot you had that whole Rachel thing.
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
(Joey looks at Ross with a horrified look on his face.)
Joey: Did she just ask me out on a date?
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Monica: Chandler, please! Do you know how unbelievably glad I am that Joey was not there that night?!
Joey: Rachel, there you are! Come on, lets serve that dessert already!
Monica, Moncia, have a happy Chanukah. Saw Santa Clause, he said hello to Ross. And plese tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy! And Rachel and Chandler, have err-umm-glander!!"
Joey: Oh well then, good night!
Ross: It was 5:30 in the morning, and you had rambled on for 18 pages. Front and back!! (they go into the living room, trapping Monica, Chandler, and Joey in the kitchen) (to Rachel) Oh-oh-oh, and by the way, Y-O-U-apostrophe-R-E means you are, Y-O-U-R means your!
Joey: (entering from his bedroom) Morning.
Joey: (approaching) Ross, hey, the bands ready outside for your first dance with Emily, so
(Joey enters looking like Captain Stubing from the Love Boat.)
Joey: And he never played before either! Yknow what I think? I think beginners luck, very important in Cups.
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Joey: (comforting her) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across the hall. And he's away a lot.
Joey: What?
Joey: Well, when its not right, you know it.
Joey: Pretty much, yeah.
Joey: Yeah! Yeah. Ill be all right.
Joey: Oh (To Chandler) Can you imagine if I hadnt left you that last one? You two mightve never gotten together. Ooh-ooh! Could you imagine if I sent that hooker up to the room like I was gonna?! Its like it was in the stars!
Chandler: (To Joey) Look there is no way youre doing this wedding now. Okay?
Joey: Yeah! (They head downstairs.)
Joey: (entering) Hey guys.
Joey: Lets go watch it at your place.
Joey: I uh, oh! Because, uh, I havent really paid the bill
Joey: Not so much.
Joey: Sure.
Joey: No, Chandler. Look, forget about it, okay? Look, I know things have been a little tight since Janine moved out. Oh, was she hot.
[Cut back to Joey in bed, he's smiling, enjoying the dream as he wakes up. Suddenly, he realized what he was dreaming about and bolts upright in bed.]
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
JOEY: You have any idea what this'll do for your sex life?
Joey: What?!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
Joey: Hey listen, why dont you come downstairs with me? Theres some really nice girls down there.
Joey: Dr. Drake Remoray. Days of Our Lives. Voted most datable neurosurgeon by Teen Beat.
Joey: I'm mad at you for leaving! You're nothing but a big leaver. Big leaver with a stupid suitcase.
Joey: Hey guys. (to Chandler) Listen uh, you wanna get some dinner with me and Kathy tonight?
Joey: You got it.
Monica: Joey, what are you doing?
Joey: (in a really, really bad Italian accent) That's-ah what I suspected-ah.
Monica: Joey, do you work here?
Joey: No.
Joey: Yeah?
[Cut to another part of the room, Ross is going to talk to Joey.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
Monica: Joey, whats going on. What didnt you tell us you work here?
Joey: See, now its weird again.
Joey: I don't know, she's, uh.... she's pretty great.
(Joey is looking at his check.)
Ross: Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Joey: All right, uh, weve got a little bit of a problem here. These people are my friends; you cant treat them that way.
Chloe: I want you to met some friends of mine. (Introduces him to Chandler and Joey) This guy is my hero, he comes in with some stuff he wants it blown up 400%, we said we dont do that, and he says you gotta. And y'know what, we did it. And now anytime anybody wants 400, we just say lets Ross it!
Joey: (to his grandmother) That's uh, scenes from next week's show. Next week's!
Joey: Oh really! Where? Somewhere funny I'd bet! (Chandler is straining to keep quiet as Phoebe enters.)
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Joey: Uhh Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on?
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
(Joey enters.)
Joey: This is crazy.
Joey: Yeah, what are ya gonna do?
(Joey, Chandler and Ross enter.)
Joey: Thats great. Thanks Rach.
Joey: Hi!
Joey: Okay you guys, I got a little more written. Are you ready?
Joey: Im not answering that.
Joey: Relax Ross, we'll be ready. It only takes us two minutes to get dressed.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting the now heeled Rosita as Rachel is sitting in the newly arrived Francette. Francette is one of those new chairs from La-Z-Boy that has and does everything except cook and go to the bathroom for you. Its got a small refrigerator under one armrest it has phone jacks for the Internet and regular phone, and so much more.]
Phoebe: Yeah Joey that is so gross!
Joey: Uh, well yeah-yeah, I've got all of that going on. Yeah, listen uh, I want you to make sure you tell Chandler that he couldn't have been more wrong! Uh-oh! I gotta go Monica, my uh, my sushi's here!
Rachel: And thats Phoebe (points), and thats Joey.
Joey: Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.
Chandler: Oh right, your allergies. (Monica leaves and to the chick and duck) All her, she hates you. (Chandler leaves without finishing the message for Joey.)
Joey: Well, I'm sorry if I'm not a middle-aged black woman! (Starts for his room.) And I'm also sorry if sometimes I go to the wrong audition! Okay, look, if I have to pretend I don't know about you two, then you two are gonna have to pretend there's nothing to know about.
Joey: What?!
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is working as Phoebe and Ross are sitting on the couch.]
(Monica goes back underwater as Joey re-enters.)
Joey: Oh yeah! For every dollar Shutter Speed makes, one penny of it goes right in Joey's pocket.
Joey: Got ya. (blinks an eye)
Joey: (laughing hysterically) Youre right! That did cheer me up!
Joey: Phew, close one.