words in movies
Ross: Why does Joanna need two assistants, how, how lazy is she?
[Scene: Joannas office, Joanna and Chandler are making out on her chair. Chandler isnt wearing any pants.]
Joanna: Oh. Well, I wish I could say no, but you cant stay my assistant forever. Neither can you Sophie, but for different reasons.
Joanna: (entering) Did he call?
Joanna: Me too.
Mark: Hi. I just talked to Joanna, and she loves you. You got it, you got the job.
Joanna: Oh no, no-no-no, is he ah, married, or involved with anyone?
Joanna: So...
Joanna: I know that.
Joanna: Bing! Thats a great name.
Joanna: Oh, Rachel, (pause) actually, y'know what, forget it.
Joanna: Awkward? Why should he feel awkward?
Joanna: (to Rachel) So ah, whats wrong with him?
[Rachels boss, Joanna, enters]
[Scene: Rachels office, Joannas telling Rachel, her side of the story.]
Joanna: Chandler is fantastic!!
Joanna: You too.
Joanna: Well, thanks again for lunch.
Joanna: It was, wasnt it?
Joanna: Wasnt it?
Joanna: What?
Joanna: Dont spoil it.
Joanna: Wait. I wanna show you something.
Joanna: What are you doing?
Joanna: (locking her door) Oh.
Joanna: Why?
Rachel: So did you break up with Joanna?
Joanna: Uh-oh, tunnel. (The phone gets cut off)
Joanna: I cant!!
Joanna: (on speaker phone) Im really sorry but I may be a little while longer.
Rachel: Wait a minute! What are you gonna tell Joanna?
Joanna: With them, under them, whats the difference? Eh, Rach?
Joanna: (from her office) Whos out there?
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.
Joanna: Knowing youre here, waiting for me I think its kinda exciting.
Joanna: Really? Well, in that case
Rachel: (introduces them) Joanna, this is my friend Chandler Bing (to Chandler) Joanna.
Joanna: What?! What would make you think that?
Joanna: I thought it went very well.
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie enters) You see! Now youre making Sophie uncomfortable!
Mrs. Lynch: Joanna passed away last night.
Joanna: Oh, I mustve said that after you left.
Joanna: Done!
[Scene: Joannas office, Rachel and Chandler are having a little tug-of-war with his pants.]
Joanna: Im in my bosss car!
Joanna: Rachel, please, dont make a scene.
Joanna: No, we are. Im sad.
Joanna: You can have your own office, and a raise! Effective tomorrow.
[Cut to Joannas outer office, where Rachel and Sophie work. They are both coming back from lunch.]
Chandler: Hello, Joanna (Realises he doesnt know her last name) s office.
Joanna: Kidding! God, I feel wild today!
Rachel: Oh, hi Mrs. Lynch! Is Joanna in already?
Joanna: (kisses him) Ill be back in ten minutes. (Starts to leave)
Joanna: Oh yes, well theres the coffee too. (to the committee) Rachel can carry two things at once!
Joanna: Congratulations! You now just crossed the line into completely useless. Get out. (Sophie starts to cry and leaves)
Rachel: Okay, swear you wont tell, but when Mark left he gave me a key to Joannas office. Do you wanna see the list?
Joanna: You know, Junior Miss is where I started. Oh, I had to sleep with the ugliest guy to get that job.
Joanna: Well, this isnt how I was hoping how this would end, but I guess I have to appreciate your honesty.
Rachel: (entering Joannas office) Umm, Joanna? I wanna talk about that interview.
Chandler: Of course, I didnt get to enjoy any of that, because Joannas such a big, dull dud!
Joanna: (answering the phone) Yes. (listens) Uh, cant you wait until tomorrow? (listens) All right. (hangs up) Unbelievable!!
Rachel: Oh, Chandler!! All right, this is it! (Grabs the key) You never see Joanna again!
Chandler: Hey uh, Rach, funny story. I ah, bumped into Joanna on the street yesterday.
Joanna: That you enjoyed the occasional drink ing binge.
Joanna: Thats fine, actually Im on the hiring committee, so therell be at least one friendly face.
Chandler: (entering with Rachel) Im telling ya, Joannas got it all wrong. Okay? All I said was, This was fun. Lets do it again sometime. Ill give you a call.
Joanna: The only person that should feel awkward is you, and you didnt tell him not to call me, did you?
Joanna: Why?! Why?! He said hed call. Why hasnt he called?
Joanna: Oh God, we just clicked! Yknow how people just click? Like he came by to pick me up, and I opened the door, and it was just like, click! Did he tell you?
Joanna: (Coming out of the shower wearing nothing but a towel) Hello, Rachel. (She goes into Chandlers bedroom)
Joanna: No, no, that was my boss. I have to go.
Joanna: Oh great! Ill keep it in my butt with your nose. (She grabs the cookie and walks out.)
[Scene: Rachels office, she is coming in for the day carrying a picture for her new office. Mrs. Lynch is coming out of Joannas office, carrying a box.]
Joanna: Just a little gag gift somebody gave me. (Shes holding a pair of handcuffs) Put your hands together.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
Joanna: Oh. And Rachel has been really incredible in getting my morning bagel for me. Its amazing how she gets it right almost every time!
Joanna: (interrupting) Okay, but that would actually be a big step down for me.
ROSS: Oh I-, Oh wait, Tony can you hang on? That's the other line. [gets the other line] Hello. Oh yeah she's here but uh, can she call you back? OK thanks. [hangs up the other line] Call Joanna. [back on with Tony] Hi.
[Scene: Joannas office, Chandler, still handcuffed to the chair, is looking through the lingerie catalogue by turning the pages with his teeth. The phone rings and Chandler answers it with his nose.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Rachel: My boss, Joanna? Wow, that mustve been awkward.
Joanna: (interrupting) And Rachel shouldnt have any problem with that. The only problem might be getting a little too friendly, if you know what I mean.
[Scene: Rachels office, Chandler and Joanna are returning from their lunch date. He is telling her about her mascara problem. Rachel is already there.]
Joanna: Would you? Or, is it just to sad and desperate, and y'know something that Sophie would do?
Joanna: Rachel, could you come in here for a moment, please?
Joanna: Sophie, get in here! (Sophie peeks in around the corner)
Joanna: Sophie, would you please climb out of my butt. Why hasnt he called, Rachel? Why?
(She goes back and forth, not sure what to do first, put the bagel down or grab the key. She finally puts the bagel down and grabs the key and goes over to unlock Joanna.)
Joanna: No-ho-ho! (pause) Yeah. (pause) I mean, no-no-no-no-no, dont you worry, Im sure with your qualifications you wont need to sleep with some guy to get that job. Although, I might need some convincing.
Rachel: Yeah, sure. Umm, they didnt have poppy seed bagels, so I (Enters Joannas office and sees her handcuffed to her chair wearing nothing but a slip) Oh my word!
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is meeting with Mr. Posner, Mrs. Lynch, and Joanna the hiring committee.]
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
Joanna: Filing system? Oh-oh! You mean those-those little colored labels you put on all the folders? (to the committee) It certainly did brighten up the inside of the filing cabinets.
Joanna: You tell your friend Chandler that were definately broken up this time.
Joanna: Oh, I know and hes soo sweet! Listen, he said he was going to call, so put him straight through.
Joanna: Because if you feel uncomfortable with your friend dating someone you work for, there are always ways to fix...that.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait! You can put your sad little muffin back in its drawer. If you must know the truth, I didnt want to lose a perfectly good assistant.
Joanna: Great! Im looking forward to it. Rachel, any messages?
Rachel: Okay, my boss, Joanna, when you left, she started asking questions about you...
Rachel: Oh, uh, Joanna I was wondering if I could ask you something. Theres an opening for an assistant buyer in Junior Miss
Joanna: A couple of hours, I feel awful.