words in movies
Tim: I I-I dont know, but I would say its pretty good-o. (Phoebe laughs too hard.)
Phoebe: I made it myself.
Phoebe: Well, its no pesto.
Chandler: Oh its been going on way to long now. Yknow, I mean the first time he said it we were just passing each other in the hallway, so I didnt say anything. And then the next time he said, "Hey Toby, do you want a donut?" And I-I wanted a donut. And now its five years later, the donuts gone and Im still Toby.
Chandler: No! That would be so awkward! LookBesides, we work in different departments. Hes on the sixth floor yknow? So he calls me Toby once in a while. Whats the big deal? It could be worse, its not like hes calling me Muriel. (Chandler suddenly freezes into place.)
Ross: (laughs) Muriel. Wh-why would he call you Muriel? (Ross realizes something.) Oh my God! Chandler M Bing? Its not just an M, your middle name is Muriel!!
Chandler: Shh! It is a family name!
Dr. Drake Ramoray: What is it?
Joey's Co-Star: Apparently your brain transplant was not entirely successful. It seems your body is rejecting Jessicas brain.
Dr. Drake Ramoray: Is it serious?
Joey's Co-Star: Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain.
Joey's Co-Star: We would, but when we went to exhume Jessicas body, it was gone.
Joey: Im not telling, youll have to see it on TV!
Joey: What? You werent in it.
Monica: (thinks about it) All right, but if-if he lights someone else on fire he is out of there!
Phoebe: Thats fair! Thank you so much. Thanks. Oops, it looks like when he got the pastry chef he got you a little bit too.
Phoebe: Love it!
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Chandler: Bob? Ooh, working here with us? Everyday? Yeah, I dont know if he has what it takes.
Chandler: But this is eleven. Its almost twice as hard up here.
Chandler: I think its best sir.
Monica: Okay well, then well both do it today and hell just have to deal with it!
Ross: Why no, its the opposite of weird. Its-its uh, regular. Its-its uh, its mundane. Its actually uh, a little dull.
Joey: Its no Ukrainian film.
Joey: Well, I was thinking that itd probably be okay because Ross hasnt gone out with Rachel in five years!
(Theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it.)
Ross: Yes it is too slutty! (Joey slams the door before Rachel could hear the entire sentence.)
Tim: Oh, Im so glad you called. I feel like its always me calling you. So, whats up? Is everything okay with Phoebe?
Phoebe: It will be in a minute. Listen, Tim youre a really great guy.
Tim: Its because Im with you.
(Tims beeper goes off and he answers it.)
Tim: Whoops. Sorry. (Looking at it, like a newscaster) This just in. (Phoebe fake laughs.) Oh, its 9-1-1 from the restaurant, that means Monica needs me right away. (Starts to leave.)
Tim: Awww, Ill miss you too Pheebs. (Starts to leave) And I will be holding you, right here. (Holds his hands over his heart, blows a kiss to Phoebe who catches it, and then leaves and Phoebe throws the kiss back.)
Joey: All right, car magazines, cereal boxes, but its like enough!
Ross: I just I have to find out how it went.
Ross: Its just I always thought when I had another kid it would be different. Now I-I love Ben, but every time I have to drop him off at Carol and Susans, its likeIt breaks my heart a little. I mean Ive always had this picture of me and my next wife in bed on Sunday and, my kid comes running in and leaps up onto the bed. And we all read the paper together. Yknow? Maybe fight over the science section.
Ross: It used to be. Now she doesnt really have a face. Smokin body though.
Ross: No but ahh! How much easier would it be if it were?
Ross: No, its not what I want either. I mean I-I cant force myself to fall in love with her again now.
Joey: Thats okay Ross maybe you need a new picture. Okay? Its not gonna be what you thought, but no matter what theres gonna be a brand new little baby, your baby. Who cares what the picture looks like?
Bob: Its Bob actually. Hey, you work up here, can you tell me where this Chandler Bings office is?
Chandler: Uhh yeah. Yeah, its (Points down the hall) right, right down there. (When he has Bob looking down the hall, he turns around and knocks his nameplate off of his door.) Right there, yeah. Can I ask you why?
Tim: Oh its great! Its great! Thank you so much for introducing us!
Tim: Wow! Umm, okay. Umm (To Phoebe) I-I-I realize I came on a little strong but, its only because I think youre so amazing. (To Monica) And uh, I-I just wanna, I just wanna tell you how much I appreciate you giving me an opportunity here because Iyoure the most talented chef Ive ever worked for. Anyway (Starts to leave and Phoebe and Monica trade looks.)
Monica: Umm, I think I spoke too quickly. There-theres a learning curve with this job and maybe we can try it again.
Ross: Ah, he didnt uh, take it so well?
Rachel: Oh its all right. Im guess Im just done with the whole dating thing. Its one more thing in my life thats suddenly completely different. This is hard.
Mona: Hey its Mona! From the wedding.
Ross: Sure! Uh, let me get it for ya.
(He thinks about it and decides to join in by turning over a chair and continue ransacking the place.)
Chandler: Let me finish ... (to everyone else) however, it doesn't look like I'm gonna get this job so I can't afford to have principles, so screw you, the tickets are ours!! (takes tickets from Rachel)
Monica: Okay, Mike and Joey, get in position. Chandler, come with me. (they walk off, Ross looks down to Chappy, who he's holding and he gets a whiff of the dog's smell. He is clearly disgusted by it.)
Joey: Im sure its a famous watering can, okay. But, come on and what is with the really hot stick in the bathroom?
Ross: Space is filled with orbiting children. (pause) Look, please, just come on, you know, when you’ll see the look on Emma’s face, I swear you won’t regret it.
Joey: I know. I know. And this is so much more complicated than it was for those guys. I mean, its Rachel for God sakes.
Joey: What am I going to do? You know, and I keep, I keep trying to get rid of these feelings, yknow? I stayed up all last night and made a list of everything I dont like about her. You want to hear it?
Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!
Phoebe: No, look, I told you that I didnt want you to try and sell it, and you just, you big fat did it anyway. God, y'know what, I think five years ago I probably wouldve done anything to play with you but, I can do it by myself. And if I cant trust you then just forget it.
Rachel: Y'know if what I do is so lame, then why did you insist on coming with me this morning? Huh? Was it so I just wouldnt go with Mark?
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Chandler: Then we will sprinkle rose pedals on the bed and make love. Not just because its romantic, but because I can!
Chandler: I watched it!
Rachel: Yes. Monica, you don't get it. It's bad enough that she's stolen the guy who might actually be the person that I am supposed to be with, but now, she's actually (starting to cry), but now she's actually stealing you.
Chandler: Okay, but you gotta push past this because it is about to get so good!
Phoebe: Lets see. (Looking at the picture) Oh my God! Oh But no! No! You cant-you cant hire him, because thatits not professional. Umm, this is for me (The picture) yes? Thanks. (Puts it in her pocket.)
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
Ross: Oh! And it gets worse! (Turns his side to Chandler and Monica and pulls up his shirt. There's a distinct line across his body, where his belly is very tanned and his back is very pale.)
Chandler: Yes! Its flown into your blouse and youd better undo your buttons lest it sting you!
Phoebe: Xcusa seniora, voulez-bere quakay[Beep]uck it!
Joey: Hey, wouldn't be cool if our duck and chick had a little baby? We could call it Chuck.
Phoebe: (rapidly) Im doing okay. I think its going well. Do you think theyre having fun? Am I talking to fast?
Monica: (hands the tape back to Joey, but doesnt let him grab it) Yknow maybe a little bit!
Rachel: I didnt! Even when I found out umm, all right, well let's just say I found something out something about someone and let's just say she's gonna keep it. (Goes into her room.)
Mrs. Geller: I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it. (She holds up an engagement ring.)
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Chandler: (embarrassed) I cannot believe Ross told you that! (pause) And in my defense, it was a Wendy's!
Monica: Okay, if you need the vacuum, its in my closet on the left-hand side. Ah, the garbage bags are next to the refrigerator
Joey: Well, I like it. Here you go. (He pays for the hat.)
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
PHOEBE: I know who it is you remind me of. Evelyn Dermer. 'Course, that's before she got the lousy face lift. Now she looks like Soupy Sales.
Rachel: Ahh, yes, I will have a glass of the Merlot and uh, (points to Rosss seat.) he will have a white wine spritzer. Woo! (Looks out the window.) Hey, look at that, the airports moving. (Realizes that thats not how it works.) Hey, are we moving?! Are we moving? Why are we moving? Hey, time-out, umm, yeah, does the captain know that were moving? (Sits back in defeat.) Oh my God. Oh, my gosh.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Really? Well, it seems to me if you'd done the right thing, I would not have woken up today feeling stupid and embarrassed, I would have woken up feeling comforted and satisfied!
MONICA: Fortunately, it is me. And, they made me head of purchasing, thank you very much. Anyway, I just ran into Ross and Chandler downstairs, and they think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
Joey: I-I think everybodys pretending they dont hear you. Anyway, look, I dont know about you and your jackets and your separate tables, but Ross is one of my best friends, and if I save him a seat, Im telling you, he will sit in it! (Ross enters and goes over to the white table) Ross! Ross! Over here, man! I-I saved you seat.
Chandler: Well, look its been a really emotional time yknow, and youve had a lot to drink. And youve just got to let that go okay? I mean you were the most beautiful in the room tonight!
Joey: I play Al Pacino's butt. All right? He goes into the shower, and then- I'm his butt. Monica: (trying not to laugh) Oh my God. Joey: C'mon, you guys. This is a real movie, and Al Pacino's in it, and that's big! Chandler: Oh no, it's terrific, it's- it's- y'know, you deserve this, after all your years of struggling, you've finally been able to crack your way into show business. Joey: Okay, okay, fine! Make jokes, I don't care! This is a big break for me! Ross: You're right, you're right, it is.
Ross: Why should Ben step aside? It was his audition in the first place! You-you just tagged along! You're like the uh, tag-a-long dad.
Rachel: Anastassakis/Papasifakis wedding, excellent! {Its a good thing Jennifer Aniston is Greek, because she had to pronounce those names. Luckily for me, they were written on a sign.}(The happy couple emerges.) Congratulations. (To the best man and maid of honor) Mazel Tov! (The rabbi emerges.) Hi! Oh, great hat. (Hes wearing an interesting hat and she takes him over to talk.) Listen umm, I need you to perform another wedding. Can you do that?
Monica: Oh that's cute! We really all enjoyed it. But y'know, it doesn't count.
Monica: Well, he did this bit... You probably had to be there, but it was Liza Minelli locked in our freezer, eating a raw chicken. (Phoebe bursts out in a laugh)
Ross: (thinks about it for a few seconds) What did you do to my mom?
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
(Monica closes the door, Chandler knocks, and Monica opens it to reveal Chandler on his knees.)
Joey: (voice-over) ...and he couldnt let it go, and... I dont really know what happened with that either.
Rachel: Yeah. Its just gonna be too hard. Yknow? I mean, its Ross. How can I watch him get married? Yknow its just, its for the best, yknow it is, its Yknow, plus, somebodys got to stay here with Phoebe! Yknow shes gonna be pretty big by then, and she needs someone to help her tie her shoes; drive her to the hospital in case she goes into labour.
Joey: (to Ross) Hey! Here's the birthday boy! Ross, check it out: hockey tickets, Rangers-Penguins, tonight at the Garden, and we're taking you.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Mr. Kaplan: (opening the closet door revealing that its full of tangled up hangers.) I need these hangers separated ASAP. (she is stunned) Youre welcome.
Rachel: (laughs) Yknow when I locked myself in the bathroom at my wedding, it was because I was trying to pop the window out of the frame.
Ross: Phoebe, forget it, okay? Newark is - is like an hour away. There's no way we're gonna make it in time.
Rachel: Okay, its not Relaxi Cab. Its Relaxicab, like taxicab.
Phoebe: (looking around) Whos cell phone is that? Its just so annoying; everywhere you go.
Ross: (in his head) Wow! I have never had such a healthy break-up! She was such a grown-up about it! She didnt seem too immature for me! Did I just make a huge mistake?
Joey: Its all London, baby! Here we go. (He takes a picture of a less than enthused Chandler and starts towards the girls apartment.)
Joey: Ross. I was thinking we could just go down the fire escape. (Points it out.)
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Joey: From now on, its gonna be Joey and Ross, best friends. (They shake hands.) Okay! Were gonna be the new Joey and Chandler.
Ross: Im telling you. Im telling you. Thats what it is. No wonder she was looking at me all funny during the wedding. She didnt say anything to you?
Rachel: Relax! Its not like its Citizen Kane!
Phoebe: Because its our thirtieth birthday.
Tim: Yknow I-I thought it was gonna be weird, I mean I almost called and canceled, but it really isnt.
Phoebe: Nothing! You have apologized to her like a million times and shes been nothing but terrible to you. And dont forget you just threw her daughter a lovely, albeit slightly boring, shower, and she hasnt even thanked you for it.
Rachel: Well is it fair that all you did was put on a cape and I gotta give you free stuff?
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
PHOEBE: Right. My name was on there, but now it just says "carrot cake". So, um, so um, how many chords do you know?
Ross: Dont ask me, I had it and I blew it!
Dr. Long: Its the babys buttock, shes breech.
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
Phoebe: Well okay, its already February and Ive only given two massages and they were both the worst tippers in the world!
Monica: No, last time you said it like Dracula, and it scared her! Can I get you anything? You want some more ice chips?
RACHEL: No, listen to me. I fell for you and I get clobbered. You then fall for me and I again, somehow, get clobbered. I'm tired of being clobbered, ya know, it's, it's just not worth it.
Rachel: Come on, please?! Im boredddd! You let me do it once before.
Monica: They've only been going out for a few weeks and Phoebe is completely hung up on Mike! She'll say "No", David's heart will be broken, it will be too hard for them to recover from and then Phoebe will end up alone again.
Rachel: Thank you. (He leaves and she proceeds to plant the folder in his bottom drawer. She then picks up the phone and holds it to her breasts.) Hello? (Hangs up the phone.) I still dont get it.
Chandler: Im only going to pretend Im moving to Yemen, its the only way I can get rid off her.
Matt: Ill do it again and again if you want.
Rachel: Oh yeah! Y'know, if its not a headboard, its just not worth it.
Joey: You know, ah, Ive been thinking about this and I gotta tell ya, its not my fault. Its a natural instinct.
Ross: Does it always, uh--?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
Ross: Look, I-I know its not a proposal and I dont know where you are, but with everything thats been going on and with Emma and Ive been feeling
Ross: Cool! Dad! My report cards! Hey, check this out dad, (reading his grades) Math, A. Science, A. History, A. Gym (He puts it away and finds something else.) Oooh, my rock polisher!
Rachel: (Tearfully) Ross, I'm doing everything that I can, I've got everybody looking for him, and I- (Door buzzer goes and she runs to get it) Oh! Who is it?
The Waiter: Its uh, its already been roasted.
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Joey: Sure, its hard to forget! But that doesnt mean you have to talk about it! A lot of things happened on that trip that we should never, (to Chandler) ever talk about.
Rachel: Ooh! Honey, it can't be that hard, I mean, you've been in love before?
Phoebe: No! We're gonna do it my way. (listens) Because your way is stupid! Alright I gotta go, I have another call, Reverend. (switches calls) Hello?
David: It was Max's stuff. (They kiss)
Ross: (yelling in pain) I know nothing! Mike’s a great guy, it was hypothetical!
Chandler: Its a hand. Its a thing you use as a Jack and Coke holder.
Monica: My God, I cant believe this! I mean I knew that mom and dad were invited, but I thought that was it! I mean from the ages 7 to 9 Frannie and I were inseparable!
RACHEL: Nothing, I mean, um, it is your first time with her and, you know if the first time doesn't go well, well then that's, that's pretty darn hard to recover from.
Joey: Well, I sorta am. I mean yeah, Im dating this girl whos also seeing another guy. But, I dont know, Im not to worried about it.
Ross: Okay. (He sits her down in a chair.) Uh, Ross and Rachel. Rachel and Ross. Thats been one heck of a see-saw hasnt it?
Tag: It is the right time. (Takes her hand.)
[Scene: The desert outside of Las Vegas, Joey is arriving and we hear the song, Name. Y'know, (singing) I've been through the desert on a horse with no name! It felt good to be out of the rain. In the desert, you can't remember your name, 'cause there ain't no one for to give you no pain. La la la-la-la, la, la, la, la-la-la. You get the idea. Anyhoo, he pulls up and stops. As he gets out of the car, he spills a huge pill of fast food containers out of the foot well.]
Rachel: No? So youre saying that if I called it, it wouldnt ring?
MONICA: 'Cause I was going by it the other day and I saw that there was a stock with my initials, MEG, on it and, well, sometimes I have to watch for two or three hours before it comes up again but when it does, it's pretty exciting.