words in movies
Chandler: Yeah, it was time. The old condom ring in the leather just doesnt say cool anymore.
Rachel: Well, I thought you liked doing it. (Rachel starts out the door and stops.)
(Rachel opens the trash chute, winces at the smell, and throws the garbage bag in. She then tries to throw the pizza box in, but since its so big she jams it into the opening and it prevents the door from closing. She then turns around too see Mr. Treeger watching her.)
Rachel: Ummm. Oh! Im sorry. (She grabs the box and offers him a piece.) Its a little old but
Mr. Treeger:: You think you could make a mess and the big man in coveralls will come in here and clean it up, huh? Well, why dont think of someone else for a change?
Monica: God! If youre gonna cry about it! (She grabs the box and goes to through it out.]
Monica: Joey, please dont do that. I think its best that we just forget about it.
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
[Scene: Treegers apartment, Joey knocks on the door and Treeger opens it.]
Mr. Treeger:: Yeah, well your friends are in violation of it. Ive been a nice guy up until now, but uh, I dont need this grief. Im gonna call the landlord and tell him that Monica is illegally subletting here grandmothers apartment. Your friends are outta here pal.
Phoebe: Oh no, it is forbidden! No-no, Mrs. Potter fires people for fooling around with clients. And its against my oath as a masseuse.
Phoebe: No, I made myself take an oath. Yeah, no fooling around with clients and umm, always be prepared. Yeah, that ones actually from the Boy Scouts, but it just makes good sense.
Phoebe: No, I can handle it. No, Im a professional. (She starts to leave)
Phoebe: Because its Arabian princess day at work! Okay?! Leave me alone!
Joey: All right, all right, all right. (Starts to leave, stops, and turns around) I mean Ill have to check with him first, but Ill think hell be cool with it. (Monica shoos him out.)
Ross: Its okay man, be strong. (Chandler goes into the office.)
Rick: Would you mind spending some time on my siadic area, its been killing me today.
Joey: Please dont kick Monica and Rachel out, this wasnt there fault, it was mine.
Mr. Treeger:: Huh, I wouldve thought it was the other way around.
Joey: What, what is it?
Joey: Thats not, prison lingo, is it?
Monica: Oh, would you let it go already?! Youre fine!
Rachel: Oh, umm, I was just yknow working out and umm Oh, thats it.
Joey: No, its okay, but if Im Marge, my breasts are coming out my back.
Mr. Treeger:: Ahh, forget it! Ill never be any good at this, my mom was right, Im just a big potato with arms, and legs, and a head.
Mr. Treeger:: Im sure as hell a dancer, its no use Marge will never go for me.
Joey: Come on Treeger, dont say that. You just ahh, you just need more practice. Here, come on, lets ahh, lets try it again. Come on. (they start dancing again) Plus, it was, it was probably mostly my fault, anyway. I mean, yknow, Im not really that comfortable dancing with a(Treeger throws him) We-he!! Hey!
Joey: No, Im not! And it wasnt a hop it was a pademarie.
Joey: All right, well maybe Im enjoying it a little bit. I mean Im getting pretty good at it.
Joey: Hey-hey, hold on, this isnt some kind of like girly dance. All right, its like a sport, its manly!
(The camera zooms in on the clock on the wall and it reads a quarter after one. Time lapse. The clock now reads 3:30, and Phoebe is still giving Rick his massage.)
Phoebe: Oh yeah, oh and I know, but this isnt what it looks like, cause Rick is my ahh, husband.
Phoebe: Hey! So I had a great day, Rick and I really hit it off, and we started making out, and then my boss walked in and fired me for being a whore.
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Phoebe: I just-I just started walking around not knowing what to do next, yknow? I-I started asking people on the street if they wanted massages. Then these policemen, thought I was a whore too. Its been a really bad day, whore wise.
(Theres a knock on the door and Chandler answers it.)
Joey: We did it!!
Mr. Treeger:: I know, we did it!! Hey, that was incredible, huh?!
Joey: I know, it was amazing! I mean, we totally nailed it, it was beautiful.
Interviewer: So it looks like youve got some great experience here. Lets see ahh, reason for leaving last job?
Chandler: Yeah, at least you hid your feelings well about it. (Removes a smashed racquet from his bag.)
Rachel: Well, I told him I would think about it, but Im gonna tell him no.
Ross: Yeah, itll be like a funny Thanksgiving story!
Rachel: But can it... just... happen a little bit?
Joey: Did-did it make you wanna walk around in your underwear?
Phoebe: Hi, its Phoebe. Listen someones gonna have to take my 9:00 with Mr. Rehack, cause its like 9:15 now, and Im not there.
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Chandler: How could it not matter?!
Chandler: Well, its, its yummy. So Mary-Angela do you like it?
Monica: You! Its not like its a big deal! You-you dont still do it or anything!
(They turn back around to see the baby Monica's carrying, but then they realise what the surprise is. Ross, Mike, Phoebe and Rachel gasp and stare at Chandler and his baby. Joey hasn't figured it out yet.)
Rachel: Well, sure, but they might think its kinda weird considering I dont work there anymore.
Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because its so romantic.
Joey: You got it! Oh-oh! (He starts patting the burned spot, which just happens to be over her breast.)
Ross: Whats a matter with me? Youve got a black light. Its 1999!
Chandler: Pulling flowers out it makes the bag look a lot more masculine.
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Chandler: Okay, so thats it, everybody knows! Its official, were moving in together. No turning back. Are ya scared? Are ya?
Rachel: It sure is.
(Tims beeper goes off and he answers it.)
Joey: I like it.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Eric: Not really. You youre blurry, but you still look like Ursula. Youre Blursula. Okay wait. Maybe If I-if I just dont look at you for a while. (Stands up and turns his back to her.) See? It it works. Im not, Im not angry at all anymore! This is a great date!
Mrs. Geller: It was you?
Monica: Well what is it? What is it? If its gonna help bring the baby here, like today. I mean, I think you should do it.
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Ross: Princess Leia, was wearing this, um, gold bikini thing. It was pretty cool.
Chandler: Hey, yknow what we can do? Yknow, now that we are up? We can just like talk to each other all night long, yknow like we did when we were first going out. Itd be fun!
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
ROSS: I got it. Uh, Joey, women don't have Adam's apples.
Chandler: See now it feels like Christmas!
Janice: Oh, too soon, too schmoon. Face it honey, I am not letting you get away this time.
Monica: Oh no-no-no, its only one night a week, and plus I get to take all of you out for a lot of free dinners.
Ross: Im sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square.
Phoebe: (angered by the rubbing) Yes! I know! I know! Yeah! So the baby is totally craving meat. This afternoon I tried tricking it, I made it a soy-burger to make it think it was getting meat, yknow? And I got nauseous.
Ross: Oh, well you see how it works is, the part with Dick Clark in Times Square is actually live, but they tape some of the party stuff ahead of time. Yeah, not a lot of people know that.
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Phoebe: Yeah, its totally meant to be. (To Monica) Tell him who you originally wanted to hook up with that night.
Ross: It was a dry day.
Ross: Got it!
Ross: Of course it is. Yeah, come on in. Ooh-ooh, go by the window you can pretend to be surfing. (He pretends he's surfing by the window.)
Chandler: Oh well, that makes it not terrible.
Joey: Ross! So when is it gonna air?
Joey: No, it's the pre-game. I'm gonna watch it at the reception.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Phoebe: No-no, we do it every year!
Phoebe: Ooh, whos it for?
Joey: I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch.
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
Chandler: Well, I'll tell ya I do enjoy guilt, but, ah, it wasn't me.
Ross: Monica! (Pause) Would it?
Monica: Was it really that good?
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
Phoebe: This is so cool, til Monica gets back, its like Im head chef and I get to make all the decisions. (She looks at the remaining butter, and then decides to add it to the dish.)
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on can we finish this later? Cause I wanna go running before it gets dark. Oh! Why don't you come with me?!
Monica: What? We could do it!
Monica: I can do it, okay? Come on, lets go. (She and Ross get up)
Rachel: This bench, its hollow! I cant believe I never knew that! (She pushes all the pillows off it and opens it up) Oh, the presents!!!
Joey: Oh we kissed it up real nice.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Ross: Okay, okay, Ill tell em it wasnt Chandler who got high. Now who should I say it was?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, erm, Monica and Rachel's, Chandler is there and is getting ready to direct a bunch of strippers, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe on what to do in the upcoming orgy of lesbian lust. Yes, its a dream sequence, this isnt cable.]
Monica: You got it from Pottery Barn?!
Monica: Is it okay for me to come in now?
Phoebe: How much was it?
Chandler: (reading it) Elizabeth Hornswoggle?
Phoebe: Well, what period is it from?
Rachel: It was only 500 bucks.
Ross: You like it?
Chandler: (To Ross) No, thats okay. (Ross nods and retreats.) Monica I thought this was going to be the most difficult thing I ever gonna had to do. But when I saw you walking down that aisle I realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way its okay, because I will always love you. You are the person I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. You wanna know if Im sure? (He leans in and kisses her.)
Rachel: Uh, its from yore. Like the days of yore. Yknow?
Ross: Its my new apothecary table!
Ross: Anytime anything comes close to touching her eye or anyone else's she like freaks out. Watch! Watch! (He takes his finger and moves it towards his eye.)
Chandler: Oh, its not important? Its not important?! If it wasnt for a brides maid youd be marrying him (Points to Joey) not me!
Rachel: (to Ross, in a flattering tone) It was really... great!
Alice: Oh no-no, never say that. If we cant get it out then we can cut around the stain, add a little lace, you make a stylish throw.
Ross: Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it?
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
(She does so and it makes her look pregnant.)
Chandler: (starts crying) I-I cant believe Jills gone. (They all look at him.) I cant help it, I opened a gate.
Chandler: So Dan, nurse not a doctor huh? Kinda girlie isn't it?
Chandler: No! No! I support you 100%! I just didn't, I didn't get it right away. Y'know now I'm caught up! Identical hand twins! It's a million-dollar idea!
Joey: And it is a love that is based on having and giving and receiv(Shuts up on Monicas glare.)
Joey: Look, Ross, really its-its no big deal. Yknow you wear a white coat, I wear a blue blazer, if that means we cant be friends at work, then so be it. Yknow, hey I understand. Yknow? Hey, when Im in a play and youre in the audience, I dont talk to you, right? So its yknow, its uh, its cool. Ill see you tomorrow. (Leaves)
Phoebe: No it's just that I got this new pager and I have it on vibrate. See ya!
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
Rachel: (gets it) Oh. Yes! I would so move out!
Ross: I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!
(He goes to the bathroom and Phoebe puts some pepper and salt on her food. With the salt she takes a bit and throws it over her left shoulder as she faces us.)
Monica: Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Oh, you guys are gonna have so much fun! She's at such a cute age. Oh, a couple things. Now that she's eating solid food, she poops around the clock. And watch out for your hair, 'cause she likes to grab it. And oh, she's also in this phase where if you leave the room, she screams bloody murder, but ah... Thanks, you guys. Have fun!
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Joey: Well, when its not right, you know it.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Chandler: Oh yeah, that�s what she says. But maybe you�re not ovulating at all, maybe it�s just a clever ruse to get me into bed.