words in movies
Chandler: There's this thing I really want us to do. I read about it in Maxim...
Rachel: Oh, good, good! We had this idea to make a birthday video for Emma and we'll give it to her when she is 18.
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
Rachel: Look, I know that you guys really want to get to Vermont and this isn't a really big deal to you, but it really is to us, ok? Emma will never have a first birthday again.
(someone knocks on the door. Rachel goes to open it)
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Joey: Hey, I do it every week with three cameras pointed at me and a whole crew waiting!
Joey: Uh, why, it’s a... (he picks a book up) one of her favorites, uh, (he reads the title of the book) “Riding the Storm Out. Coping with post-partum depression” eesh! (he puts the book back and picks up another) “Love you forever”. Love you forever. By Robert Munsch. Published by Firefly books. Printed (he pauses and changes the tone to a dramatic one) in Mexico. A mother held her new baby and very slowly rocked him back and forth, back and forth, back and forth, and while she held him she sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”. (the picture fades and Joey is now finishing the book). And while he rocked her, he sang “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you’ll be”.
Rachel: Is that it?
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Rachel: Oh, you're gonna love this cake. I got it from a bakery in New Jersey, Corino’s.
Rachel: Well, anyway, they make these great novelty cakes, in all different shapes, and if you give them a photo, they’ll copy it in icing!
Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party!
Rachel: Why you guys this isn't funny, all right? If I wanted this cake to be a disaster I would have baked it myself!
Joey (staring at the cake): Uh.. is it ok that I still think it looks delicious?
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Rachel: Oh! Believe you me! I am going to bring this cake back, I don't even want it in my home... (Turns towards the cake and sees Joey trying to take a piece and yells at him) Joey, don't touch it!!
Ross: Well, you know what? While we're waiting, you guys could tape your message to Emma for her 18th birthday, huh? (takes the camcorder and points it at Monica and Chandler) Ok!
Monica: Ross, Rachel promised it would be over by now. We seriously have to go, if we want to get to Vermont. I called them and the last train leaves in a half hour.
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Phoebe: No, it did not.
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Judy: Anyway, it was lovely seeing you.
Joey: (Shocked) Oh! Well that's it! He's the last one to go. I'm locking you guys in. (turns the bolts of the door, thereby locking it)
Estelle: (Looks confused) Let me start over. I just got a call about an audition. I think you can still make it. It's down at the Astor Theatre and you need to have a monologue prepared.
Joey: A monologue? I don't have.. (sees the book he was reading before for his "dramatic reading") I got it. (hangs up) (announces to the room) Aah! so... I'm gonna take off!
Joey: Oh! I got it! Ok, everyone pick a number from one to ten. Alright? Whoever gets the highest number gets to go first.
(While Phoebe's bear is still in the lead, it is now closely followed by Joey's robot. Chandler and Monica's dog however, sits down, barking... and does a backflip.)
(She hangs up, closes her phone, turns around and puts it in her bag which is in the back of the car. While doing this and not looking at the road, she turns the steering wheel by accident, which makes the car swerve.)
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: (she looks at the cake) Oh my God! Look what... you made it into a bunny. How did you do that?
Phoebe: I just felt so bad, missing this. So I just slipped him a little something, you know. As long as I'm back in five or six hours, it will be alright.
Chandler: Let's do it, come on!
Phoebe: (pointing at cake) Hey, you made it into a bunny.
Joey: What is wrong with me. It looked more delicious when it was a penis.
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Mona's Date: Oh, its okay.
ROSS: Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it.
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Mona's Date: Its awfully pink. (Ross mouths, "Its salmon!")
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Jim: It aint no thing, Im wild too.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Rachel: All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it aint gonna happen!
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Monica: Alright, you know what? Thats it. Youve had your chance.
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Chandler: Its a dog.
Ross: Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it up in his book.)
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it.
Chandler: Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out!
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Rachel: Open it! Open it! Open it!
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Man: Where did you have it?
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Parker: Look! Its the bunny hop!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Rachel: All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but Im telling you
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Chandler: I did. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price.
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
Rachel: I will think about it.
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Joey: Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Rachel: (with the sticks in her hands) Um... (She goes to the tarantula-cage and puts the sticks into it) Done!
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Joey: I like it.
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Monica: All right, look Im just gonna unplug it.
The Interviewer: How do you spell that? So we can get it right.
The Interviewer: So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
The Interviewer: Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Ross: It really was.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Phoebe: Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.