words in movies
Conan: Its a tradition here on Friends after every taping for me to hang out with you guys, (They all laugh) talk down the episode umm The point of this whole thing is what people see in America is: they see Friends, they love the show, it looks like a smooth running machine, but behind the scenes theres deceit, mistrust, and hate. And I thought, I thought wed actually take a look at uh, yknow some of these moments where you guys arethere are mistakes. You make mistakes.
Matthew: Our energy just comes way up when theres an audience here and when that happens, something happens between your brain and your mouth sometimes and it just doesnt, it just doesnt work.
[Cut to Central Perk, Ross, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there. I think its The One With The Joke.]
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
Courtney: It is one of those days!
Phoebe: Xcusa seniora, voulez-bere quakay[Beep]uck it!
Courtney: Its amazing like all week long weve-weve been saying the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up once, then youll get nervous because youllyou know youll probably mess up again.
Courtney: Okay. You know its gonna happen.
Courtney: Oh! Okay! Im gonna try it without the coffee cup cause I think its the left hand thats messing me up.
David: Ahh! Sh(Beep)it that hurt!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, first season, Monica is making a giant sub-sandwich and is talking to Rachel. I think its The One With Fake Monica.]
Monica: It was so wild! We told em we were the Gundersons in 16
Conan: It was a little game. Yeah, with an electric buzzer.
Phoebe: Oh-ooh, and I brought Operation, but umm I lost the umm (It starts buzzing) Its making a noise.
[Cut to Central Perk, to the theme from The Dick Van Dyke show Joey runs into Central Perk carrying a stack of Soap Opera Digests and falls on the step. He does bounce right back up making it all that much funnier.]
Lisa: He fell down once! And we re-did it and we went back. And he(laughs)he was afraid he was gonna fall down
Joey: Pheebs! (He looks down as he goes down the step to make sure he didnt fall again.) Check it out! (He starts laughing when he realized what he did.)
Courtney: This particular time when he continued to fall or yknow, try not to fall, I was in the room with Matthew and Matthew was like, "Should I do it?"
Joey: Pheebs! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! Check it out! (Hands her one.)
Conan: Matthew, you have a reputation with the rest of the cast that sometimes you like to, you like to fool around a bit. I mean like if somethings naturally going wrong you like to get in there and juice it a little bit. True or false?
[Cut to Monicas restaurant kitchen, its the episode where Joey is working as a waiter at Monicas restaurant. Joey is patting her breast from when she set it on fire.]
Richard: It was great seeing you the other night.
Monica: Well, it was good to see you too. Did you come down here to tell me that?
Jennifer: Lisas laugh though TheresIts so infectious. Its one of those things just forget about it. Once it starts, its all gone.
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, its actually Joey and Rachels. Phoebe is trying to convince Rachel to switch with her and live with Monica as Joey looks on.]
Lisa: Okay, shh yeah. Cause its not silly.
Conan: And then it just builds on itself and theres no doing the scene after. I mean you probably wait and really get it together and do it.
David: I keep a straight face he-he delivers like this look, a reaction to you, or a certain take, I-II mean I find it so funny.
(David and Matt just lose it then.)
Ross: Its Ben and his Da-Da. Da-Da? Can you say Da-Da? Yknow, you might as well say it because I told your
Ross: Can you say Da-Da? See, Im gonna tell your mommies you said it anyway, so you might as well try
Matt: Yeah, shes trying to waft the smell across the hall to get us to come hang out in her new place, and were sitting there eating pizza and I think it was you (Points to Lisa) that said
Matt: (everyone laughs) And then it was like four takes later before we could get through it with a straight face.
Joey: I dont know, but it smells good. (He gets up and heads for the door only to stop short and start laughing.)
Conan: But audiencesYou have a live studio audience and they must love that. They must love it when they see you guys playing.
Conan: So that you will intentionally do something thattheyll-theyll intentionally screw it up?
Conan: (to Courtney) You-youve worn a fat suit on the show. And, a lot of people love you in the fat suit. Do you like wearing the fat suit? Is it fun?
Conan: I-I heard some of you guys talking about this earlier, but sometimes theres just a word that someone has to say that youll get hung up on. And itll justthe way you say the word is funny to everybody else.
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, is the one where Rachel screwed up the desert and Ross and Joey are trying to enjoy it.]
Matt: It tastes like (mimicking him in a high-pitched voice) feet!
Matt: Sometimes the dialogue itself is just so funny and youllwell be rehearsing during the week and you justwhatever-whatever the joke is; its so funny we cant get through it in rehearsal and just
Matt: You-you mentally make a flag on it and you say, "Okay show night, Im justIll never be able to get through this."
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, its the one with the fake chocolate. Monica has baked some cookies and Phoebe is trying them.]
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Matthew: It is when were able to crack each other up.
Ross: (To Chandler) All right! All right! All right! (To Joey) We are fixing it.
Conan: Okay Friends gang, thanks for doing it.
Matthew: Well thank for coming here, its good to see you.
Monica: I think you got it!
Matt: Ill do it again and again if you want.
[We close with a bunch of scenes where they screw up and make weird noises. It finishes with.]
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
Rachel: Yeah, it was senior year in college. It was after the Sigma Chi luau and Melissa and I got very drunk! And we ended up kissing! For several minutes!
Ross: Look, G. I. Joe's in, Barbi's out. And if you guys can't deal with it, that's your 'too bad.'
Joey: (on phone) Hey, Pheebs! Its Joey!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Phoebe answers it.]
Chandler: Yes, but I just had one. Two. Two tiny cigarettes. Okay, five. A pack. Two pack�a�a carton. Three big fat cartons in two days. (How many cigarettes are there in one pack and how many packs in one carton in the US?) But it�s over, I made a decision, I�m not gonna smoke anymore.
Joey: Wait, well, where did you get it from?!
Rachel: Well Joey, youll probably get it. But you should probably your-your gracious loser face. Yknow when like the cameras are on you and you wanna look disappointed but also that your colleague deserved to win. Yknow? So its sorta like (Does it, youll have to see it.)
Joey: Oh, it was amazing. You know how you always think you're great in bed?
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Ross is coming out of the living room carrying his salad and a puzzlebeer! Cold beer. And he decides to fold up Phoebes massage table, but being Ross has trouble with it as there is a knock on the door. He sets the table back up and opens the door to reveal a beautiful woman.]
Megan: And now youll see me buying it.
(Door buzzer goes off. Rachel answers it.)
Rachel: Yknow what? No. Its not over until someone says, "I do." (Exits)
RACHEL: Of course I clean it. I mean, I,I will cleeeean it. I mean, I will cleeeean it.
Richard: Now, that can be arranged! (He brings his sword back and drops it, causing it to fly over the wall.) Slippery little bugger!
Ross and Monica: Dad, dad. We got it!! We Got It!!!
Phoebe: Well its justits one of those situations that I just hate. Yknow? A massage client gave me three tickets to the Helmet-Pelts exhibit at the Morgan Chase museum.
Chandler: All right, that's it, give me your underwear.
Mr. Waltham: Its the Gellers!
Joey: Whats in it?
Joey: Uh-huh. This and a bunch of bubble wrap. And, some of it is not even popped!
Monica: I'll get it! (She runs in, and she's her old fat self like The One With The Prom Video. Not only that, she's out of breath after running a short distance. She goes over and opens the door to reveal Rachel with her old nose.) Happy Thanksgiving!
Ross: All right! All right! It was the best nap ever!
Chandler: Yeah. I know it must be important to you when you start chattering like a monkey.
Ticket Agent: Well you can split it with another credit card.
Dr. Rhodes: Wait a minute, hold it. (He goes to the door and opens it.) Johnson! Will you come in here a moment?
Ross: Hey! You were a closed book! Okay? Im not a mind reader! Besides, I hate those conversations. Im horrible at them. Really! Maybe-maybe I need kind of a gesture. Yknow, something that says were moving forward without having to talk about it.
Mr. Geller: This bill for my half of the wedding. its insane.
Ross: (They kiss and the phone rings and machine picks it up, its Ross putting on an accent pretending to be Vicrum) This is Vicrum.
Ross: Rachel says sharing's great and supposedly, you know, we outta be doing it. Do you wanna?
Rachel: Oh, no-no-no, no-no-no, it has become, it hasyeah. Oh no, those were four great dates.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Monica: Then why would he say it?
Ross: Oh! You are gonna love it! (The girl is looking in the other direction as Ross is taking off his own coat, revealing the pink and white ladies shirt) and I'm so glad, we're finally doing this.
RACHEL: Oh please. That Paolo thing was barely a relationship. All it really was was just, ya know, meaningless animal sex. Ok, ya know, that sounded soooo much better in my head.
ROSS: Oh OK. Well then why don't you, uhh, why don't you borrow it from mom and dad? You feel guilty and tense around them already. You might as well make some money off of them.
Phoebe: Hey, that’s not fair! A person’s wedding is important! And especially to me! Ok? I didn’t have a graduation party! And I didn’t go to Prom. And I spent my sweet sixteen being chased round a tire yard by an escaped mental patient who is his own words wanted to “kill me” or whatever. So I deserve a real celebration and I am not gonna let some sweaty little man make me feel badly about it.( She storms out)
Monica:: Honey why don't you just let it go and ask her out again.
RACHEL: They had to reduce it because of, of my deviated septum.
Ross: So uh, Rach? Does it, does it feel weird around here now? Y'know since I've been away at college.
Chandler: Hey! Wow, it is true what they say, pregnant bellies look like a drum.
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
Mrs. Waltham: I know, its horrible isnt it?
Chandler: Oh yea, your right. Its the second one.
Monica: Okay, does it involve something to do with Petes computer company?
Joey: Uh, y'know what, were having second thoughts about our copying needs. And well need a little more time to think about it.
Carol: This is impossible. Its just impossible.
Monica: No, look, she's obviously unstable, okay? I mean she's thinking about running out on her wedding day. (Rachel slowly turns and glares at her.) (Realizing what she just said.) Okay, fine! But I mean, look at the position she's putting him in! What's he gonna do? Ross is gonna run over there on the wedding day and break up the marriage?! I mean, who would do that?! (Rachel again turns and glares at her in disgust.) Okay, fine, all right, but that's y'know, it's different! Although it did involve a lot of the same people.
Ross: Look, were down to just one point. Could we please, maybe just settle it after the wedding.
Danielle: You got it.
Joey: Yeah, but for a one-year-old. What's the point... the other day she laughed for like an hour at a cup. Just a cup with a picture of Elmo on it dressed as a farmer. And he's standing next to this cow and the cow says "El-moo"! (Joey starts laughing) Yeah... that's a funny cup!
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
Alice: Oh no, but when it comes to love, what does age matter?
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
Phoebe: Really?! I looked into that. Yeah, but, I mean it costs like $60,000 and yknow you can die. And, you would die!
Rachel: Oh, look at the little cat! [a small kitten is on the roof behind Ross] Look at it!
Ross: (laughs) That uh, that was pretty funny. Wasnt it?
Carol: Y'know what, I want to talk to you about this so much, but we should probably do it when we could really get into it, are you free for dinner tomorrow night?
Chandler: It couldve been worse, he couldve shot her.
Emily: (Yelling from inside the bathroom) Youve spoiled everything! Its like a nightmare! My friends and family are out there! How can I face them?! How can you do this to me?!
(Mrs. Walthams phone rings and she answers it.)
Chandler: Uh, Joey is gonna be right back. Right back! (Tries to pantomime it for her.) Meanwhile, let's-let's-let's talk about you. (Pause.) So, you're old and small.
Rachel: Hey, how'd it go?
Phoebe: No. No. Its just I was umm, I was with Ross and Jill after you left and umm, Im pretty sure I saw a little spark between them.
Chandler: Forget it, thats off.
Ross: Oh no! It could be better, but its gonna be okay, right?
Joey: Hey, (realises he doesnt know her name.) stripper! (He notices that the ring box is open, so he picks it up, sees its empty and starts to panic.)
Rachel: Oh, like I wasn't dreading tomorrow enough, having to give it back to him... 'Hi Barry! Remember me? I'm the girl in the veil who stomped on your heart in front of your entire family!' Oh God and now I'm gonna have to return the ring, without the ring, which makes it so much harder...
Ross: Does that mean the same thing in England as it does in America?
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Rachel: Hello? Oh, Pheebs! (To them) Its Phoebe!
(Ross and Emily make it to the lobby.)
Monica: Well, its getting late.
Emily: Ohh, its a bit small.
Chandler: Yeah, its a very large plane.
Ross: No! No, no, no, no, okay, it wasn't the swing's fault. It was my fault and kind of that (point to the kid that kicked him) kids fault. Who is still laughing. Nice.
Monica: Yknow, maybe its best that we never got to do it again.
Chandler: Its the theme from Good Will Humping.
(Hits the ball towards Chandler who returns it back to him. He then hits the ball at Monica who slams it and it bounces off Kara's leg.)
Monica: Doesnt it ever just freak you out that-that youre never gonna be with anybody new again?
Ross: I get it! Well, thats that.
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Monica: Absolutely! (He goes to kiss her, but she stops him and rubs his head and says...) Now get out of here you!! (Pete leaves) (to the gang) Okay, Im running out of places I can touch him! Look, is there something wrong with me? I mean why am I only attracted to guys where theres no future? Either theyre too old, or theyre too young, and then theres Pete whos-whos crazy about me, and whos absolutely perfect for me, and theres like zip going on! I mean, seriously, does it sound like somethings wrong with me?!
Monica: So are you ever gonna tell whoever it is?
Ross: To London! Come to London. Please? Itll mean so much to me.
Ross: So, what? That's it?
Ross: That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible.
Phoebe: Mrs. Waltham. Hi. Its Phoebe again.
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Monica: I'll do it!
(Ross bangs his fists together to tell Chandler off, like what was learned last season. Read about it here.)
Rachel: Oh come on Ross, weve done it before well do it again, itll be a nice way to bookend the pregnancy.
Rachel: But yknow what, if you think its gonna be okay well just work out a system. Yknow, itll be like college, Ill hang a hanger on the door and put a sign, "Come back later, Im gettin lucky." (Laughs.)
Rachel: Okay, you guys, just relax. (She goes over to open the door, and as she does, she says.) I doooo. (Sees that its Joshua, not Chandler that knocked on the door.)
Leader: Hi. And batting for Sarah, Ross Geller, 872. Although, it looks like you bought an awful lot of cookies yourself.
Frank: Umm, its a lollipop and a uh, a home pregnancy test.
Phoebe: Dont be so corny Ross, its not an after-school special. (She rides off and the camera pans down to reveal two shiny, silver training wheels firmly attached.)
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
Chandler: Yes, it does bother me! And I think it would bother a lot of people. Rachel, when you were going out with Ross, did it bother you when he flirted with other women?
Phoebe: Well, it felt French.