words in movies
Ross: All right! (Checking his watch) Yes!! From home to the hospital in under seven minutes! We did it!!
Phoebe: Oh you made it!
Joey: Hey! You made it!
Rachel: Yeah, it couldnt hurt to look.
Dr. Long: Well youre only two centimeters dilated and we need to get to ten. Itll be a while.
Rachel: Yeah well it looks great!
Woman: Dont worry about it.
Rachel: Yeah it is.
Monica: Listen uh, I-Ive been doing some thinking, and I dont know whether its because were here or Rachels giving birth but umm, I think we should try to have a baby.
Chandler: Okay. Ive been thinking about it too, and I, I think were ready.
Monica: Thats it! Right there! Is all I wanted!
Marc: Julies cervix is dilated a seven centimeters, thats about four fingers. The doctor let me feel it myself.
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
Mrs. Geller: I brought something that I want to give you, assuming of course that you want it. (She holds up an engagement ring.)
Mrs. Geller: This is your grandmothers engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Mrs. Geller: Just think about it. If you dont, Ill talk more about humping.
Ross: Gimmie! (Takes the ring and puts it in his coat pocket as Rachel enters the hallway.)
Phoebe: But yknow what? It just seems that you two belong together.
Ross: Okay, stop it! I cant deal with this right now. I have to go have a baby.
Rachel: Theyre having their baby! Its not fair Ross we got here first! Right after you left they wheeled her off into delivery. Oh but not before she gave me a juicy shot of little Jamie just crowning away.
Evil Bitch: See? See? It was because you were looking fat pervert!
Monica: Oh good God! If you want a baby so bad just go steal it!
Chandler: Look, weve always talked about having babies someday. Im not saying it has to be right now, but Im starting to think that we can handle it. Were good. Were really good.
Monica: Well maybe Im ready now. I mean, its a little scary, but maybe its right.
Chandler: What?! Its not right! Were not ready to have a kid now!!
Chandler: Were trying to get pregnant. (They start kissing, but Chandler stops it.) Yknow Im not really comfortable doing this in front of the babies. So, when do you want to start trying?
Chandler: Wait a minute, its perfect. We got a lot of time to kill and were in a building thats full of beds!
Monica: And its so clean!!
Phoebe: Oh, it ate your money?
Phoebe: Oh down please. (The guy tries to reach the button, but cant.) I-I hate to be a ball buster can I just do it? (She pushes the button.)
Phoebe: Well, its a long story. Its kind of embarrassing. Lets just say there was a typographical error with a sex manual. (The guy laughs.) How about you?
Man: Yeah. Me. (The elevator door opens.) Oh hey, thats me. (Rolls onto the elevator.) Hey uh, I take it youre just visiting someone.
Ross: Thats it. Thats it.
Rachel: Yeah it was.
Joey: Remoray. Its Portuguese. We need that information; Im a doctor.
Joey: Hands! It is absolutely essential that you tell me what room the man my assistant described is staying in. Hes a patient of mine, Ive been treating him for years!
Chandler: Okay. Uh, well dim the lights, dim the lights. (He goes to the light switch and finds its not a dimmer switch when he flips the lights off.) Or turn them out all together. Uh, no scented candles. Okay here. Here we go. (He sprays an aerosol air freshener above her.)
Phoebe: Ooh, this is it! (Looks in the window.) Oh, thats him! Thats him!
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Ross: Actually its more like this. (Pushes her hands to less than an inch apart.)
Woman Giving Birth: (yelling from the hallway) Its coming! Its coming!
Doctor: And here it is! (The baby cries.)
Rachel: Okay! Okay wait! You listen to me! You listen to me! Since I have been waiting four women, thats four, one higher than the number of centimeters that I am dilated, have come and gone with their babies! Im next! Its my turn! Its only fair! And if you bring in one woman and she has her baby before me Im going to sue you! Not this hospital, Im going to sue you! And my husband (Points at Ross) hes a lawyer!
Woman: OH .MY .GAWD!!! (Uh-huh, its Janice.)
Ross: And yet somehow its true!
Sid: I still cant believe it! Im the luckiest guy in the world!
Rachel: I get it!
Monica: We could, or we can have sex in it.
(Suddenly they hear Janice laughing, and it ruins the moment.)
Chandler: If its not, then theres two of them. And that would mean its the end of the world!
Chandler: Weirdest thing. Did I hear(A nurse opens the privacy screen and Chandler sees Janice)Mother of God its true!
Janice: Its you. This is yours.
Chandler: Thats funny. Does it-does it hurt? Does the labor hurt?
Phoebe: Somebody went to college. Wow. (Cliff gets uncomfortable) What is it? Im sorry. (She moves her arm, which was resting on the same pillow his leg is.)
Cliff: No, Im sorry. Its just my foot itches like crazy.
Phoebe: Oh, Ill get it. (She gets up and grabs a spoon.)
Phoebe: Relax, its not like were forking.
Ross: Yknow what I think it is? I think youve made such a nice home for her over the last nine months that she just doesnt want to leave.
Rachel: Doctor you gotta do something! I think you gotta give me drugs or you gotta light a fire up in there and just smoke it out.
Cliff: Is this the same spoon that was in my cast? (Smells it.)
Phoebe: Okay. Okay. IOkay umm this I-I sent my friend Joey in here to find out stuff about you. Umm yknow, if it helps you came off great. A lot better than Im coming off right now.
Phoebe: Youre right, that was wrong. Im sorry. Im so sorry. Its just that I liked you so much. Can we just, can we just start over?
Joey: Uh, if I may? Umm-umm look, Cliff, you told me a lot of personal stuff about you, right? And maybe-maybe it would if-if would help if-if you knew some personal stuff about her. Uh, she was married to a gay ice dancer. Uh, she gave birth to her brothers triplets. Oh! Oh! Her-her twin sister used to do porn!
Phoebe: Umm, look we dont, we dont really know each other so it would be really easy to just forget about this, but there seems to be something between us. And I dont know about you but that doesnt happen to me a lot.
Cliff: It doesnt happen to me either.
Dr. Long: Its the babys buttock, shes breech.
Rachel: I cant. Please, you do it for me.
Ross: Oh its okay. Theyre just-theyre just wrapping her up.
Chandler: Its incredible, I mean one minute shes inside you and then 47 hours later here she is.
Ross: The doctor says its completely normal with all the hormones. Plus, you-youre sleep deprived.
Rachel: I was reliving it.
Phoebe: Oh, wait a minute its not gonna be Baby Girl? I thought that was so original!
Ross: Uh actually, we-weve narrowed it down to two names.
Rachel: Yeah, and yknow what? I love them both, so why dont you just pick one and thatll be it.
Monica: Its okay honey, youll find a name.
Chandler: Oh no, its gonna be named after some snack or baked good isnt it?
Monica: Umm, okay. If its a boy its Daniel.
Rachel: And if its a girl?
Rachel: Oh, just tell us! Were not gonna want it!
Monica: Okay. Its Emma.
Rachel: (gasps) Emma! (Looks at the baby and starts to cry.) See? I dont want it.
Monica: Take it.
Monica: Its clearly an Emma.
Chandler: And if not, we got to do it on a bucket.
Rachel: Oh, Im not doing it alone. I have Ross.
Rachel: Well then he gets a divorce, its Ross!
Janice: I hate to be the one to say it, but honey you two (Her and Emma) are on your own.
Rachel: Well Thats yknowThatsWeve been alone for the last twenty minutes were doing okay. Besides yknow what? I-IMaybe we wont be alone, cause lately I-Ithings have been happening between me and Ross, yknow? Right before I went into labor, we-we had this kiss. Yknow? So it might be the the beginning of something.
Ross: Yeah. Yeah, it really was. But we we gotta be careful. We we cant let that happen again, yknow?
Rachel: No! No, of course not. No. Thats why I brought it up. (Pause) They didnt have any sodas?
Rachel: Thats all right. (He goes to get her a soda.) And so it begins.
Ross: Oh what are you kidding? Shes gorgeous, its all Rachel.
Ross: Its its complicated okay?
Ross: Look, weve been together. Okay? And then apart, and then together, and then apart, and now we have a baby. (Pause) Its just if-if we got together again and it didnt work out I could never do that to Emma. I mean she-she thinking everything(Starts to cry.) Oh thats now me. What do they put something in the water in this place? Since Rachel and I were doing really, were doing really well right now.
Phoebe: I know. I know. I know. I know, and if you try to make it more you might wreck it.
Joey: Hey. I just saw a woman breast feeding both of her twins at the same time; it is like a freak show up here. (Notices shes wiping her eyes.) Whats the matter?
Joey: What is it? Hey!
Rachel: Really its nothing. Im just
(He moves Rosss coat to get the tissues and the engagement ring box Mrs. Geller gave him falls out of the pocket it was inside. Joey goes to one knee, picks up the box, opens it, and sees that its an engagement ring.)
Emily: I mean, I can't-I can't be in the same room as her! It drives me mad just thinking of you being in the same room as her!
Monica: Honey, if you know it through a wall, you know it too well!
Matt: (everyone laughs) And then it was like four takes later before we could get through it with a straight face.
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Rachel: What? What is it?
Phoebe: Damn it woman, pull yourself together! Have some pride, for the love of God.
Ross: (Thinking it over) Sure! (Takes one) Hey, I just found out, I get Ben for the holidays this year.
Rachel: Okay, that sounds fair. It just means that once again we can't...
Monica: Really? I don't really feel like it.
Eric: Just seeing her brought it all back. All the lies, the way she used me. I just I got so angry just looking at her (Looks at Phoebe) face.
Monica: Okay, I just don't get why you like it so much.
Phoebe: Ok, well that's bad. But don't you think it might be different with someone else? Perhaps a blonde who always uses a toilet. Except for once in the ocean.
Joey: But what you saw, that is the extent of it, okay? One kiss.
Joey: Yeah, but it did happen, so...
Chandler: No, its not! When I looked at the other ring I could see Monicas face when I gave it to her, yknow? And I could see her saying yes. When I look at this ring, all I see is a ring! Unless I look at it really closely and then I can see my own eye. (Does so and laughs.) Look, this is the most important thing Im gonna do in my life. I wanna make sure its perfect.
Phoebe: Oh, how does it work?
Monica: That's not really how it works.
Chandler: Thanks, its ah, Gaelic, for Thy turkeys done. So ah, Im gonna go, nice, nice meeting you.
Mike: (popping by, smiling) You're kidding, we wouldn't have missed it!
Frank Jr.: Sometimes I think that.. Oh, no, no, no, I can't say it, it's too horrible. No.
Phoebe: Okay. (Monica closes the door, gets the guitar, and then hands it out.)
Phoebe: Theres a reset button?! Ugh, thank you! Thank you! (He exits and she goes to shut it off.) Theres a reset button! My God! Why didnt I see that! (She takes off the plastic cover and looks for the button.) Reset button, reset button, where is there a reset button? (Finds it.) Oh here it is! (Picks it up off of the floor.) Oh! (She presses it hard, but of course it would help if the button was still attached to the detector. In frustration she presses it so hard it causes pain in her thumb.) Ohh, God!
Rachel: Well, I... you know, I-I-I don't know what to say... I mean, I never thought of you as a guy who needed his men to be men. You know, 'cause I gotta tell you Ross, it not like you just came in from branding cattle.
Mr. Geller: Ive been thinking about getting rid of it. I was driving it the other day and saw my reflection in a store window. Your mothers right, I do look like an ass.
Owen: You wanna see it?
RICHARD: Monica... [He re-enters the bedroom and Monica jumps on the bed, trying to cover it.] Hey Mon, I have a question. Is Leroy the baddest man in the whole damn town or the fattest man in the whole damn town?
Chandler: Honey, its not the bath I enjoy, its the wet, naked lady.
Ross: Well I didnt! I didnt propose! (Pause) Unless uh (Pause) Did I? I havent slept in forty hours and it does sound like something I would do.
Phoebe: Alice would never go for it, right?
Chandler: Ah, the "I'm sorry I rejected you" phone call. I'm not used to getting it from guys. (on the phone, getting up from the sofa) Hey, Steve.
Rachel: Yeah, you started it! I've got to chill.
Rachel: O-kay!! See what you did, Im gonna be doing it by myself now. Okay?
Chandler: Maybe the problem was you were pronouncing it kara-tay.
CHANDLER: Well yeah, in that it's not being used and I... have it to spare.
Ross: Wasn't it? And you thought it would be awkward with Joey and that you never really liked Rachel.
Joey: It doesn't look good, does it?
Joey: Yeah, but, Ross, I mean, you're not okay with it.
Rachel: Oh really? Well how would you like it if I had sex with you and I taped it? (Joey smiles luridly) Oh forget it! (Ross enters.) Oh there he is now, the father of my child, the porn king of the west village.
Joey: I will be okay! Look Chandler, you gotta get it out of your head that I cant take care of myself. Okay? Look, Im not gonna miss you helping me out with money. The only thing that Im gonna miss is you. And now the dog.
Phoebe: But no, because a doctor wont be able to help him, its just gonna yknow naturally pass through his system in like seven years.
Chandler: Okay. Thats better. Now I want you to both apologize to each other and mean it.
Chandler: (hysterical)Don't touch the phone! I'll get it, I'll get it, I'll get it!! (picks up the phone)
Chandler: Sure, then you should get a mini skirt so you can really show it off.
Joey: (smiles then stops) Now I cant believe it! What? Rachels pregnant? (The girls nod yes.) Whos the father?
Chandler: No, had it done to me though. Feels good !
Joey: Dude, you just described seven days worth of stuff. Youve got to spread it out a little, you know. Havent you ever been unemployed?
Ross: Mississippilesly? (pause) Well, how bad is it?
Joey: What's it sound like? It's a guy with my identical hands! It was incredible! Chandler, the dealer's hands were exactly like me! It-it was like looking at my hands in a mirror!
Ross: So, how dark is it gonna get?
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica and Phoebe are reading magazines when the phone rings and Phoebe reaches to pick it up]
Joey: I don’t get it, Chandler loved it!
Monica: It could be Amanda!
Monica: We weren’t picking up, it’s Amanda!
Joey: Ok, yeah, got it.
Joey: Ok. Well, how, how can we make it easier?
Rachel: Ah, what is this? Well, lets see, we kissed for ten minutes and now we're talking to our friends about it, so I guess this is sixth grade!
CHANDLER: Hey man, look it's my best bud. How ya doin? [Joey doesn't respond] Wow, you are really gettin' good at that Marcel Marceau thing. Hey, whaddya say uh, we play some ball, you and me, huh, whaddya say? [Throws a basketball to Joey. Joey doesn't move to catch it and the ball takes out a lamp] OK, that's my bad.
Rachel: Oh, I know... I still have my old key! (She goes in to get it and comes back with her keys) We can just unlock the door.
Joey: Oh, let me get this. (He takes out his wallet, but the panties come with it. The woman and waitress are shocked.) (Realizing) (To the woman) These are for you.
Phoebe: (makes a face) Are you kidding, I love it!
(Monica's mobile starts ringing. She picks it up.)
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
Rachel: Yeah baby, I'll show you how we do it!
Ross: Id bet Id still be doing my kara-tay. (Thats karate, hes just saying it that way.) Towards the end of our marriage I was doing a lot of kara-tay as a way of releasing the tension from yknow, not doing anything else physical.
Monica: Alright, we don't know that it's him. I mean, it could be the football guy.
Ross: Which... which... which... Which one is it?
Ross: Wait a minute, there's two sets of nozzles, which one is it?
Rachel: No, I mean with us, you know. I mean, is it supposed to be this... difficult?
David: Yeah, Rachel, Chandler, and Ross had to try to get a couch up a staira very narrow New York stairwell and that was probably I-I think it was the hardest Ive-Ive laughed in my life period.
Joey: Yeah, was there a part of you that... felt like it was... really wrong?
Joey: Yeah, so we just keep trying and trying until we... do it.
Rachel: I know. Joey: I don't get it. I mean, I was so sure this was what I wanted.
Rachel: Well, just because it happened that way for them doesn't mean it has to happen that way for us.
Joey: come on, come on, search your brain all right. it was (thinks) a certain amount of time ago, I was here you were here, we had sex (starts pointing out the places) here, here, here NOT there. Anything?
(Ross walks to the door and opens it.)
(The apartment manager hung up on him and he hangs up the phone and throws in on the chair. Joey motions, "What the hell was that?" Chandler makes a face to say, "Think about it." Joey tries to divide 136 by 13; he's confused. Suddenly, light dawns on yonder dunder head. He gets it.)
Rachel: Yknow, I never thought Id say this about a movie, but I really hope this dog dies. (Joey brings over a stool at sits on it next to Rachel whos in the big chair.) What are you doing over there? Come sit here, you protect me.
Rachel: Ross? Look, whatever this relationship stuff that Emily wants, just give it to her. Come on, the bottom line here is that you love her. So just fix whatever she wants fixed. Just do it. (The phone starts ringing.) I mean, you're gonna have to try. You'll just gonna hate yourself if you don't. (The phone keeps ringing.) Oh come on answer it! It's driving me crazy!
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Joey: Hey, I think Emma might like it!
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Rachel: Is that it?
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Chandler: Pheebs, if she could come back as a couch, wed really appreciate it. (Joey nods in agreement)
Phoebe (sees the cake): oh! Now it’s a party!
Joey: (realizing) Oh, that's what she meant! (pause) You know, if they're gonna shorten it, they should call it the MUSE! You know, short for museum, and avoid all the confusion!
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Cheryl: I'll be right back. Make yourself comfortable. (Ross attempts to clear a place for his coat and fold it small enough to fit. Then hit sits on the couch. Something falls on him from above and he brushes his neck off frantically.)
Phoebe: Okay, well, I just don't, I don't know how it works exactly. See, my name is Buffay and my husband's name is Hannigan, so is it supposed to be Buffay-Hannigan or Hannigan-Buffay?
(She hangs up the phone and starts to head back to the kitchen and notices some money lying out, stops, reaches down to pick it up, the phone rings causing her to drop it, she quickly puts it back, and heads for the kitchen.)
Joey: Got it! (Goes towards the front door and stands with his back to it) Hey hey hey! (to Chandler) Where do you think you're going?
Joey: Well, that one did not have Emma's face on it.
Judy: Anyway, it was lovely seeing you.
Phoebe: No, it did not.
Ross: Look, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to call everyone in the entire school and tell them it wasnt true?!
Rachel: Ross, um, don’t forget to get a shot of Emma’s cake. It’s in a box in the fridge.
Phoebe: So, here you are. It seems like yesterday I was talking to you in that little petri dish. Everyone said labor was the hardest thing I'd ever have to do, but they were wrong this is. Oh, I had the most fun with you guys! I wish I could take you home and see you everyday. Okay, I'll settle for being your favorite Aunt. I know Alice's sister has a pool, but you lived in me. Okay, so we're cool. Yeah, we're gonna be great. Little high fives! (Imitates the high fives.) Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! (One of the babies begins to cry.) Well, if you're gonna cry. (She starts crying.)
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Phoebe: Ive never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
Rachel: Well this has story behind it! I mean they had to ship it all the way from the White Plains store.