words in movies
[Scene: Joey and now Rachel's apartment, Joey has the fridge pulled out away from the wall and is in the process of pulling off the cooling grate behind it.]
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: Look Rach, my parents bought this fridge just after I was born, okay? Now, I have never had a problem with it. Then you show up and it breaks! What does that tell ya?
Rachel: Yeah! Its weird. But the thing is need to find a date.
Chandler: So, why is she leaving? Is it a school night and she has a lot of homework to do?
Rachel: Well, yknow its just been so long since Ive been to Chuckie Cheese.
Joey: Hey-hey come on you guys, give him a break. Ross, seriously, hows it going with her?
Ross: Well, actually its been great. Shes 20 so shes not looking for anything too serious, which is perfect for me right now.
Ross: Thanks. I know you guys like to give me a hard time and all, but it really means a lot to me that you like her. Just knowing that you guys are
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Ross: You dont understand! Elizabeth was about to ask me to go on a trip with her! Is that taking it slow?! No, Im not ready for this! Okay? What-what do I tell her?
Ross: Yeah, it kinda grows on you. (They both laugh.) Actually, I wanted to finish talking to you about uh, spring vacation.
Ross: Look, I (He has trouble sitting in his chair.) Look, Im having a great time with you and I just dont want us to move to fast or put to much pressure on us. So, Im sorry I just dont think we should go away together yet. Its-its too soon.
Monica: Hey! How did it go with Elizabeth?
Ross: Huh? Oh-oh, it was fine. Uh, it was just a misunderstanding. She didnt want me to go with her. She just wanted to let me know that shes going to Florida for spring vacation.
Chandler: I can see it now, "Look dad, its the Sphinx!" (Does that party noise again.)
Monica: Uh, would you stop it with that already?!
Phoebe: No reason, its just I know a single guy that cares about other people.
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Chandler: Okay now it doesnt matter which one you choose, yknow? Its completely up to you. Our guy is perfect, or you can go out with the guy Phoebe deemed not good enough to go out with herself.
Joey: Call it even?
Ross: Well, it turns out that she is going to Daytona for spring break woo-hoo. That means, that means wet T-shirt contests, guys doing shots off of girls bodies, waking up next to people you dont even know
Phoebe: Nothing, you just have to be cool with it.
Elizabeth: Its a bathing suit?
Phoebe: Yeah. And believe me, this suit does not do justice to whats underneath it.
Chandler: It is the softest hair! Touch it! (Both he and Monica do so.)
Phoebe: Yeah, okay, lets talk it out.
Rachel: Ill tell ya who should be embarrassed! Its you guys! Come on! This is ridiculous! Thank you very much, but I do not need you to get me a date!
Ross: It was pretty funny when I, when I hid it for a while, huh? Anyway, umm, I-I am worried about that bathing suit, not because its revealing which Im fine with, no Im concerned about your health, sun exposure.
Elizabeth: Oh, dont worry I have plenty of sun block, its SPF-30.
Ross: Well, if whats in the bottle is actually 30. I mean sometimes you get 30, sometimes its-its get 4, and I swear to God more often than not its just milk.
Elizabeth: Ross, its going to be okay. Im not going down there to hook up with a bunch of guys. I really like you. I like how things are going between us.
Chandler: So what was it for anyway?
(Rachel does so and its one of those dance party shows they have during spring break and we see )
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
Joey: Uh, does it hurt?
Chandler: So, uh, how often can you do it?
Chandler: Yeah, I can be a hero, I could do that. I could, I could do... I, w-w-what if, what if it attacks me?
Phoebe: Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips!
Ross: Only when it was damp!! (To Rachel) I cant believe you-you told people about this?! Everybody knew?! Yknow what? (To Will) Im back in the club!
Phoebe: You won't even taste it?
Ross: Okay, okay, well just get everyone to act like they like it. That-that way noone makes fun of her and we still get to go to Sweet Potatoe Pie! (Referring to the dancers.)
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Ross: Oh, you've tasted it.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Rachel: And the chicken pooped in her lap. Oh, I'm so sorry. I just gave away the ending, didn't I? Oh! It's just, I just heard this story in the cab, and it is all I can think about.
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Phoebe: No! No! Its-its uh a real thing! Anyone can get ordained on the Internet and perform like weddings and stuff!
Rachel: Okay. Ah, well well just see about that, okay. I will read The Shining, (she tries to take the book away from him but he doesnt want to let it go) and you will read Little Women.
CHANDLER: Ooh, you almost had it.
Rachel: Huh. Well, then you'd better keep it away from Ross's hair. So this is pretty rare. How did you get that?
Julie: I was thinking of doing it a little shorter, you know, like Andie McDowell's new haircut?
MONICA: Ok, Mr. Heckles, we'll try to keep it down.
Monica: Gosh, doesn't it seem like a million years ago?
Ross: (to the kid) Oh yeah? Well, I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever(to Chandler)can't do it. (to the kid) Listen, uh- gimme back my puck.
Rachel: Ooh, is this one of those things where you throw it in a bag with some graveyard dirt and hang it from a north-facing tree?
JOEY: "Oh, Chandler, now, now, that's it. There, faster!"
Monica: So dont think of it as a bachelor party, think of it as a a two month anniversary present.
Joey: I guess I didnt really think about it.
PHOEBE: Really? You can actually see it?
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
JOEY: That's what it says.
Phoebe: Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date.
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Ross: I think you made it clear you cannot be trusted with the ball inside the house!
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
Kathy: Oh my God, is it really that bad?
Joey: All right, look Im sorry you guys, but its just that I gotta get these new head shots made. And theyre really expensive, yknow? Im down to like three! Well, actually two cause one of em I kinda blackened in some teethWhy did I do that?! (Hits himself in the head.)
RACHEL: Monica, let it go.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
Rachel: Phoebe, come on, I don't wanna waste it! It would be like throwing away a hundred bucks!
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
CAROL: Uhh, we know, he already did it last week.
MONICA: You made it!
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
Monica: Guys, hurry up! The flight leaves in four hours! It could take time to get a taxi! There could be traffic! The plane could leave early! When we get to London, there could be a line at customs! Come on!! (She runs back to her apartment.)
ROSS: Whip it out, whip it out.
Joshua: No, no, no, shes nice but, yknow, it just it made me realize that Im just not, Im just not ready to be dating, yknow?
ALL: Yeah, show it. Show it. The nubbin, the nubbin, the nubbin.
ROSS: [to Chandler] So what's it shaped like?
PHOEBE: Yeah, is there a hair on it?
Ross: Well, technically it seven billion years ago (Well, technically youd be able to see it for days, well nights; that is if you could see it with all of the bright lights of New York.)
Chandler: When you go lunching with hunky moustache men and don't tell me about it!
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
ROSS: Pop it in.
Ross: (he takes a baby blue beret out of a shopping box and puts it on) How does this look?
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Joey: I dont see the baby. Where is it?
Amy: Why did you change it, Ella was so much prettier!
Paul: Hey! I have so much more to tell ya, Ive written it all down!
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
Ross: I dont know, but I ah, I have the feeling that my being there will do it. Ill go over and I will borrow something. Juice!! I need juice!!
ROSS: Um, no, I uh, I have done it before.
RACHEL: Maybe you should put it off.
Chandler: Bye. (Finally closes the door on her.) (After its closed) I cant stand the woman! (Phoebe is shocked, Joey is relieved.)
Chandler: (answering it) Hello. (listens) (to Ross) Its Gandolf!!! (on phone) So, are you in town? (listens) (disappointed) Oh, well, well maybe next time then. (Hangs up)
Ross: Ooh... so sad... Still, it can't be easy for you to leave Harvard? Especially after working alongside a Nobel Prize winner like Albert Wintermeyer?
Chandler: Alright, you did it! Do we have any fruit?
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
RACHEL: That's 'cause you have it.
PHOEBE: Actually, it makes us feel that big.
Ross: Listen, Im ah, Im sorry Ive been so crazy and jealous and, its just that I like you a lot, so...
Ross: I don't even wanna hear it, you're just...
RACHEL: Oh, well, it pretty much sucked. How was yours?
(The phone rings and Chandler answers it.)
Joey: (sadly) There will come a time in each of your careers when youll have a chance to screw over another soap opera actor. I had such an opportunity in the recent, present. And Im ashamed to say that I took it, I advised a fellow actor to play a role, homosexually. Yeah, we both auditioned for the part, and uh, as it turned out, they ah, they liked the stupid gay thing and cast him. And now, hes got a two year contract opposite Susan Luchhi, the first lady of daytime television, and me, me Im stuck here teaching a bunch of people, most of whom are too ugly to even be on TV. Im sorry, Im sorry, Im sorry. (he gets a huge round of applause from his students.) Thank you.
Rachel: No, I-I just dont know how you decide who to hire. I mean Ive got it narrowed down to two people. One of them has great references and a lot of experience and then theres this guy
Chandler: Joey if you wanna punch me, go ahead, I deserve it. But I just want you to know that I would never soberly hurt you or your family, youre my best friend. I would never do anything like this ever again.
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
JOEY: Consider it done.
JOEY: Hat, milk, got it.
ROSS: So, uh, does it do anything, you know, special?
MIKE: All right.� I'll do it.� (Phoebe gives the thumbs-up sign to Rachel.)� But really, how much dirtier can it get?
Dr. Leedbetter: It was a simple mistake. It could happen to anyone.
Monica: Hey Rach, what about this? (She holds up a chrome 5-point star.) Huh? Who-who gets this? See, I dont know if I want it because it might be yknow, too many memories!
Monica: Well I-I talked to and uh, shes definitely going to have this baby. Yknow, she said she was gonna raise it on her own.
Monica: Hey, Rach. How was it with your friends? (She and Phoebe scream.) Okay! How would you like some Tiki Death Punch? (She pours the contents of the blender into some glasses.)
Mr. Waltham: (Shaking everyone's hand.) Hello. Hello. How do you do? How do you do? Very nice to meet you. (Looking over at his wife.) Darling its the Gellers. (She pays no attention shes talking on a cellular phone.) (Louder) Darling, its the Gellers. (Shes still not responding.) Shes very self-absorbed, you know. I should never have married her.
Ross: And Im sure youre gonna make a big impression. Hi! Im Rachel Green. Its nice to meet you. (He lifts his leg and imitates shaking hands with it, just like how Rachel was trying to pick up the aspirin with her feet.) Come on, you probably have a broken rib!
Ross: (in his head) Oh my God! That's Rachel naked! I can't look at that! I am looking at this. (Looks back at his book.) Okay, vivid colors, expressive brush strokesUnless she wants me to be looking at that. She knows I'm home. She knows I can see her. What kind of game is she playing? I think maybe someone's lonely tonight. Oh-ho, Dr. Geller! Stop it! You're being silly! Or, am I?
Chandler: Joey! Joe! (Sees that hes not here and starts investigating. He picks up the bag of chips.) Full bag. (He picks up the beer.) Beers still cold. Something terrible mustve happened here! (He decides its not that important; sits down on Rosita, and the back falls off causing him to flip over.) Oh no-no-no-no-no-no! (Runs over to Stevie.) Stevie, I was never here! (Runs out.)
CHANDLER: You know it?
Ross: Oh, uh, can it wait a second Joey? I have to tell my parents something. No it cant? Okay.
Ross: I thought, uh... it was a fifty cent limit.
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Chandler: If it helps, I could slide over.
Monica: Mr. Heckles, our friend lost a monkey. Have you seen it?
CHANDLER: Heads it is.
RACHEL: You still think of it as your apartment, don't you?
Hillary: After a while its like, shut your mouth, you know?
Chandler: I can't belive it.
Joey: Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy! (Reaches out to touch the imaginary painting).