words in movies
Joey: Theres this woman, that I like. A lot. Well, its complicated. Shes with this other guy. For a long time. And I could never do that to the guy, yknow? Ccause were really good friends.
Ross: Then talk to him! He might be fine with it.
Ross: Joey, its worth finding out. I mean, if you really like her.
Ross: Okay, Joey, you know what? You have to go for it. How often does this happen to you, huh? You owe it to yourself. (Walks towards the door until )
Joey: Its Rachel.
Ross: (closes the door) Did you umIm sorry, did you just say its Rachel?
Joey: Yeah, but its not a big deal.
Ross: Its not a big deal? Oh, Im sorry I just um, I what about all the stuff you-you just said? I mean how about, I likeyou-you cant stop thinking about her. Like how you cant sleep?
Joey: Look no, I-I know its bad, and I know its wrong. Okay? But-but its not like anythings ever gonna happen. Yknow? These-these are just feelings, theyre gonna go away.
Rachel: Oh, its so sad they never had a chance to meet.
Ross: Oh yknow, I stillI cant believe it. Joey and Rachel I mean its Its like you and me going out, only weirder!
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
Ross: Hate him? I No, I dont hate him. (Pause) Its just its Rachel, yknow?
Monica: Honey I cant even imagine how hard this must be for you. But, I dont want you to lose Joey over it. And right now he just needs to know that youre still his friend.
Monica: All right. Now do it soon, he just asked me how to convert his dollars into Vermont money.
[Scene: Joeys Apartment, theres a knock on the door and Joey answers it to Ross.]
Joey: Look, I understand if you came by to hit me, I deserve it.
(They clink glasses and take a drink. Ross likes it, Joey hates it. Then Ross sees Joey hating it, mimics he hates it as well.)
Joey: Anyway, it uh look itll just take me a while to get over her, thats all. Im not even sure how to do that, I mean Ive never been in love before so
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Ross: If she is where you are then uh then my feeling weird about it shouldnt stand in the way.
Ross: Yeah, tell me about it. (He stands up, turns his back to Joey, and enjoys another sip.)
Chandler: Cheese, its smelly. You must smell a lot of the time too.
Don: Uh, not really. But when it comes to cheese, Im one of the people who thinks the smellier the better.
Monica: Me too! Yeah, Chandler cant stand it. He wont even allow me to have blue cheese in the house.
Monica: You know what Id love to do? I would like to go to France and eat nothing but bread and cheeseNot even bread, just cheese. No, I want the bread. Yeah. Ah, and pastries (Breathlessly) And pate. Oh, Im really not high, its just I used to be fat.
Chandler: Is it made of cheese?
Rachel: Well honey, Im late for a meeting. So can you just make it quick?
Joey: Okay. Thats good. Okay, that give you a couple hours to prepare what youre gonna say. Good. Yeah. (Someone comes out of his apartment and it startles Joey again.) Dont you people ever knock?!
Chandler: Sure, why dont you set it up. Ill just be over here, browsing through the personals.
Rachel: and I know Chandler is kidding but it happens every time he touches my stomach. I mean Im really worried the babys not going to like him. (Joey is staring at the table.) Are you okay?
Joey: What? Yeah! Sure! Uh, look at the uh, the reason (Exhales slowly)Is it hot in here?
Rachel: Oh my God! Really?! Can I see it?
Joey: Yeah. Sure. (They both half stand up, Joey pulls the neck of his sweater out, and Rachel looks down it to see his T-shirt.)
Waiter: Hah, sorry about the wait, but it is mega-jammed in here! We have a couple specials tonight
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Joey: Does it really matter?
Rachel: Wow! Wow. Wow. Wow, it is hot in here.
Joey: Yeah-yeah right. Thats okay. Thats fine. Thats uh, pretty much what I was expecting. So uh, its no big deal. All right? I think Im gonna go. (Stands up.)
Waiter: I dont know. I think maybe one of them is dying. (Pause) I kinda hope its the girl. (The other waiter is shocked.) The guy is really cute!
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
(they all drink from the champagne, but clearly dislike the taste of it)
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
>>> Joey's Subconscious So this is going pretty good. dinner was nice, got a lot in common. (Sees a magazine) Victoria's secret huh we even like the same books. (Walks over to a painting on the wall) Oh now there's a scary painting. wait a minute I think I've been scared by that painting before. (Looks around) You know what this whole place look familiar I have definitely been in this apartment I know I've seen this weird plant before (it's a cactus and he touch's it) AWCH! It did that the last time. Oh my god, I've gone out with this girl before yeah we had sex on this couch and then on that chair and no. no we didn't do it hear which is weird because it seems like a perfectly good place.
Janice: A little birdie told me something about you wanting to rip your arm off and throw it at me.
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
Monica: Make it fifty!
Joey: (to a woman who came in third in a modeling contest) Sorry! (He grabs her muffin away and returns it to the serving tray.)
Joey: It made you feel good, so that makes it selfish. Look, there's no unselfish good deeds, sorry.
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Ross: Forget it. I-IYknow what? Ill just have the conversation. Ill just say I like things the way they are, and hope for the best. What do you think Rach?
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Ross: So is everybody here? I got here a little early myself. Let us begin. Now, the hydrosaurids have been unearthed in two main locations. (He moves to the map and we see why he made it to class on time, hes wearing in-line skates and hasnt taken them off.) Here. (Points to the map, somewhere in the Middle East, then spins on the skates and points to the map.) Here. (China.) Now as for the hydrosaurs
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
Gavin: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?
Ross: Yeah, they print jokes, interviews, hard-hitting journalism. Its not just about the pictures.
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Joey: Is it her fault that some of them didnt make it to you?
(Phoebe jumps to the floor as Ross tackles Rachel off of the couch. Chandler helps push Rachel onto the floor by jumping over the back of the couch. Phoebe grabs Rachel's head to hold it still and opens Rachel's eye as Monica jumps onto Chandler's back to administer the torture--I mean medicine.)
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Joey: I dont get it! It was in my room all night! And if she didnt take it, and I didnt take it; and you (Chandler) didnt take it, then who did? (The duck quacks.) Shh! Were trying to think! (Ross and Chandler realise it at the same moment and stare at Joey, who doesnt get it. After a short pause, with the duck still quacking, Joey figures it out and starts pointing at the duck.)
Chandler: (motioning with his hands) Im not worried, Im uh, Im fascinated. Yknow its like uh, Biology! Which is funny because in high school I uh, I-I failed Biology and tonight Biology failed me. (Exits as Phoebe enters from her room with her guitar.)
Phoebe: Oh, look look look. The last candle's about to burn out. 10, 9, 8, 7... (time lapse)... negative 46, negative 47, negative 48.... (someone blows it out, the room gets completely dark)
Phoebe: Well, and you know, it really is a testament to how he was raised. Especially to you. Because he's very respectful of women.
Monica: Jellyfish sting! Oh, it hurts! It hurts!! It hurts!!
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
Phoebe: YOU’RE SO GENEROUS AND KIND AND (crowd stops cheering) YOU'RE AMAZING IN BED (everyone hears it and stare at them.) (to everybody) IT’S OUR ANNIVERSARY!
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
CHANDLER: Yes, and this with the cigarette butt in it, is that decaf?
Chandler: In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.
Joey: Oh, it went amazingly well!
MONICA: Man, man that is sharp. It must have cost you quite a few debloons.
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
EDDIE: Ohhhh. Relax, take it easy buddy. Tell me twice, you want me to go? Alright, alright, guess I'll be back for my stuff. [walks out the door and after a pause comes back in] But if you think for one second I'm leaving you alone with my fish, you're insane Jack!
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Phoebe: Im just taking it to be re-wired.
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Whitfield: (sits down) Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written.
Joey: All right thats it, school is in session! (Exits and slams the door.)
(The girls are unsure how to pair off. Phoebe settles it)
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Joey: Its hard, y'know, his huddle is closer to Dutch girl.
PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.
ROSS: Well we did it, we're here. We are standing our ground. How long does a cup of coffee take?
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Monica: These tiny, little non-breasts?! Please, its gotta be Rachel.
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
Rachel: EHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! My God!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my God!!!!!!! (She runs over to him and finds that it was a dummy and that she had been had.)
Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think its like uh-a thing!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
Phoebe: (singing) "Little, tiny Tarzan, swinging on a nose hair. Swinging with the greatest of ease " Darn it! Now, I dont know who to get to the next verse.
Ross: Ask them if it would be faster if we cut the baby’s face off the penis, so we can put it on the bunny. (pause). That is a weird sentence!
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
(With that we go into a little flashback about the guys memories of the duck. The first one is Joey playing with him in the bathtub and drying him off. Then its Chandler sitting on his couch after they moved into the girls apartment, and Chandler reading to him in bed, and him watching Baywatch when all they had was the canoe and the duck was in a bucket of water. Then we see Ross eating some cereal and the duck watching him. He takes a lamp and moves the duck off of the table. Then its Chandler shooing them out of the bathroom in the girls apartment, Joey revealing their disco cubby hole in the entertainment-center, then Chandler playing Hide-and-Go-Seek with them, and its concluded with various scenes with the duck flapping its wings. And the guys staring into the distance in remembrance of the duck.)
Monica: Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) Im sorry too.
RACH: Yeah! Closure. That's what it is, that's what I need. God, you're brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? How do I get that?
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Phoebe: Its not a stupid gumball machine looking ring! Its a beautiful ring!
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on! Itll give us great practice for when(realizes what shes about to say and changes)people with babies come to visit.
Ross: But you know what, if you think about it, it actually promotes a healthy uhm... body image... because... even big butts or uhm... juicy doubles.
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
[Scene: Downstairs at Danny's party, Monica and Rachel are coming down the stairs and Rachel has on a coat to make it look as if she's just getting back. But just as they reach the landing they see Danny out in the hall talking to a guest, Rachel then quickly pulls Monica back up the stairs.]
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]
CHANDLER: I've met the perfect woman. OK, we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around, and then suddenly she turns to me and says, 'Do you ever want to do it in an elevator?'
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Chandler: (picking up the telephone, answering it with a frog in his throat) Hello? (he clears his throat, but he still has the same frog in his throat when he speaks again) Hello?
Rachel: No, it was on the house, it was, it was a newlywed special.
Phoebe: Yeah, you know what the best part of it is? I get to do my "plan-laugh." (A maniacal laugh follows.)
Chandler: And then you click it and, uh-oh, she's naked. And then, and then you click it again and she's dressed. She's a business woman, she's walking down the street, she's window shopping, and (clicks pen) whoa-whoa-whoa, sh-she's naked! (Rachel just stares at him.)
(And with that, television history is made as, for the first time ever, an entire show moves its entire production to an entirely different country to make a single episode. We get shots of Buckingham Palace, London Bridge, Big Ben, and the London Marriott as Joey and Chandler exit.)
Rachel: Well, I havent discussed it with him yet, but I know hes gonna be relieved. Last week, he brought this girl over and I started talking to her about morning sickness and then I showed her pictures from my pregnancy book.
Chandler: Okay, so this isnt a picture of our first, but it is a picture of my first kiss with with this lady. Which by the look on your face Im sure youll remember. So we dont need(Rips the picture)Theres no need to have this picture. How about I take the real pictures and get them developed right now.
Ross: Well, we believe it originated here. (He uses a pointer and points to the point of origin.) In the Aroma Room.
Chandler: Look (hands him a drink) it was a lo-o-ong time ago.
Chandler: Im gonna do it tomorrow yknow, and-and surprise her, but now youve ruined it!
Chandler: No you dontget it in black, not brown.
Phoebe: Not unless someone borrowed it and left it at the gynecologist.
Kid: I found it. Finders keepers, losers weepers. (Ross looks at Chandler for help.)
Rachel: Oh, oh. (she's holding the present, a transparent bag with a white stick in it). What is this?
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
(He picks up his bat and holds it up, but then Monica and Laura enter the living room again. When Laura sees Joey, she freezes...)
Chandler: Well, I was trying to prove that I was right. Yknow? And it turns out I was wrong. And now its lodged in my throat. (Mimics a cat trying to cough up a hairball.) (He does it again.)
Phoebe: I have this feeling that something's wrong with it. Something is wrong with the left Philange.
Monica: Oh yeah! I saw her walkin it down the street the other day. She had uh, these flowers in the basket. It was so cute.
Rachel: Its not random, its Bob.
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Rachel: Well, oh, Mark, Im doing this for the wrong reasons, y'know? Im just doing it to get back at Ross. Im sorry, its not very fair to you.
Frank: Oh, wait, no your right, no it was perfect and I cant believe that I screwed it up so bad.
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Rachel: Oh he's dusting me with a fossil brush. He thought it would be funny.
Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.
(Monica sets something on the table and removes the cover. It kinda looks like turkey.)
Ross: Look, forget it Phoebe. Okay? Its Rachels tape and she can do whatever she wants with it. And she wants to destroy it. So, end of story.
Phoebe: Stating the obvious, but thank you. And its not weird is it.
(Phoebe whispers something in Joey's ear, but after hearing it he jumps up, shocked)