words in movies
Monica: (checks to see if it works) Yes, you are so smart! (Kisses him.)
[Scene: Joey's bedroom, time lapse. He's asleep and dreaming. In his dream he's doing the crossword puzzle with wait for it Monica!]
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Phoebe: All right. Hold on. (She starts digging in the chair.) I got it. Nickel! (Donates it.) How much more do we need?
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
Phoebe: Yeah, I should probably take it back. Ooh, but you know what? While I'm at the police station, I could check their Ten Most Wanted lists because my friend Fritzy has been like number 11 forever, so this could be her year! (She crosses her fingers in hope.)
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
Joey: Well uh, it's just that uh, y'know if-if you're gonna be wearing someone's sweatshirt shouldn't it be your boyfriends--and Im not him.
Monica: I'm sorry, I'll give it back to you.
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: Yeah, y'know what? I'll take it myself, thank you! (He signs the form and hands it back to the salesman.) All right Rach, let's go! (He picks up one end of the couch.)
Ross: Oh, come on it's only three blocks! And-and, it's not very heavy, try it! Come on! Come on!
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
Ross: Not only did we go out, we did it 298 times!
Ross: A loser you did it with (To the salesman) 298 times!
The Smoking Woman: Yeah I can, it worked real well.
Phoebe: Hold it! (Grabs the badge) N.Y.P.D! Freeze punk!
Phoebe: Save it Red! Unless you wanna spend the night in the slammer, you apologize to the tree.
Ross: Oh okay, lift it straight up over your head! Straight up over your head! You can do it! You can do it! (She gets it lifted up and they make the first turn.) Okay. You got it?
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
Ross: Yeah, you got it right? You got it right? You got it?
(She don't got it as the couch slips out of their grips and falls over the bottom railing.)
Phoebe: so this guy was all (Mumbles.) And I'm all, Buffay, Homicide. (Flashes the badge.) It was just so cool!
Phoebe: You could get arrested, right now! (Flashes the badge and they glare at her.) All right, yeah, I gotta take it back. I'm totally drunk with power. (She heads for the door just as Joey enters.)
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Chandler: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what-what if Martin Luther King had said that? (Imitating what his famous speech would sound like.) I kinda have a dream! I dont want to talk about it.
Joey: Well, it involved Monica.
Joey: Don't worry, there wasn't any sex in it or anything. I haven't dreamt about her like that since I found out about you two--ish.
Joey: Well, okay. You were my girlfriend and we were doing the crossword puzzle. Y'know like you guys were doing last night. So, that's it. I'm in love with Monica and I'll be moving out.
Chandler: No, it can mean anything. Like uh, all of the sudden you're jealous because I've become the apartment stud.
Monica: Or, it could mean that-that you saw Chandler and me together and we y'know were being close and stuff and then you just want to have that with someone too.
Chandler: Well there you have it!
Chandler: Well y'know, Monica and I were friends before we started dating. So maybe-maybe that's it?
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Guy: Don't worry about it. It's not a problem.
Joey: I'm saying maybe you and I crank it up a notch.
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Rachel: Yeah. Yeah. Oh, but once you find it, ohh it's so worth the wait.
Ross: Look, I-I drew a sketch about how we're gonna do it. (Showing them) Okay Rach, (points to the sketch) that's you. That's the couch. (Points again.)
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
Ross: All right, let's uh, let's bring it back down and-and try again.
(As they start back down the couch drops a little bit and gets jammed. They try to free it to no avail.)
Rachel: Hey! How's it going? Did you make any new friends?
Joey: (taking a bite) Oh, great! Can you believe I found it on the second floor?
Monica: Who is it?
Phoebe: Ooh, God, it's him! It's that cop! God, I can't believe it! He found me!
Phoebe: Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking you (Points at all of them) with me. (They all look at her.) Harboring a fugitive? That's one to three years minimum. Good luck Chandler. (She opens the door to the cop from before.) Okay, you can arrest me. Fine. But you'll never make it stick and you know it!
Phoebe: I would love it if I weren't here!
Cop: Yeah. I mean, I coulda done it better, but these people keep staring at me.
Gary: Well you're fingerprints were all over my badge so I just ran it through the computer and this was listed as your last known address so I just checked it out.
Ross: I'd like to return this couch. I'm not satisfied with it.
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Ross: (thinks) I take it.
CHANDLER: (shyly) It means we're holding hands.
PHOEBE: It could be like a big giant guy.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
JADE: It was just so awkward and bumpy.
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
CHANDLER: Okay, I'll do it!
Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel and Phoebe move a box into the living room.]
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
RICHARD: Okay, I'll do it.
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it�s legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
Rachel: I just dont know! It just doesnt feel right.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
ROSS: It was ridiculous. Ya know, these guys, they were bullies, actual bullies, ya know. We're grown ups, this kinda stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: Am I in it?
Ross: No! Do you wanna hear it?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
Monica: Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle?
Monica: It was Michelle. It was definitely Michelle.
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.
Rachel: No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Ross: It was, it was her voice.
Phoebe: Okay, we're on it. We're on it.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
LITTLE BULLY: It's a nice watch, I don't wanna break it on your ribs.
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Courtney: Its amazing like all week long weve-weve been saying the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up once, then youll get nervous because youllyou know youll probably mess up again.
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Chandler: Stop it. Stop it!
JOEY: Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all!
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Rachel: Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.
Ross: There it is.
Ross: It was, it was great. Oh, what happened?
Ross: And it works both ways.
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Chandler: I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
Ross: Well it turns out that Ben and Stings son do not get along.
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!
Ross: No, no, don't, don't, rub it! Don't! (clapping) What gets out hummus?! What gets out hummus?!
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
ESTELLE: Don't worry about it already. Things happen.
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.
(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
Joey: He's got the body for it.
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Joey: How is it you?
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.