words in movies
Chandler: This is unbelievable. Its been like a half an hour. If this was a cartoon, youd be looking like a ham right about now.
Chandler: Its Phoebe! Hi!
Phoebe: Its mostly just dumb sister stuff, you know, I mean, like, everyone always thought of her as the pretty one, you know... Oh, oh, she was the first one to start walking, even though I did it... later that same day. But, to my parents, by then it was like "yeah, right, well what else is new?"
Ross: No, no. (Distractedly putting on a jacket to go out) I mean, it mighta been at first, but by now I, I think Im pretty comfortable with the whole situation.
Carol: Its a little complicated.
Chandler: Well, it throws my WENUS out of whack.
Chandler: Its not just that shes cute, okay. Its just that... shes really really cute.
Ross: It doesnt matter. You dont dip your pen in the company ink.
Ross: Relax, Ill fix it.
Rachel: Well, someone was supposed to write "Rach, take down the lights" and put it on the re... frigerate... (finally noticing Monicas note stuck to the refrigerator) How long has that been there?
Chandler: Yeah, listen. Okay, before you do anything Joey-like, you might wanna run it by err... (he indicates Phoebe, who is helping Ross understand the remote control.)
Joey: You think it would be okay if I asked out your sister?
Phoebe: Well, I mean, Im not my sisters, you know, whatever, and um... I mean, its true, we were one egg, once, but err, you know, weve grown apart, so, um... I dont know, why not? Okay.
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
Susan: I will flip you for it.
Ross: Flip me for it? No, no, no... heads, heads, heads!
Chandler: Mr. D, hows it going, sir?
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Douglas: Its pretty ugly. We havent seen an ANUS this bad since the seventies.
Phoebe: Well, what I really want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
Rachel: Okay... Let me put it this way. Anything from Crabtree and Evelyn?
Fran: Look, youre cold, I have to pee, and... (indicating the sign) ..theres a cup of coffee on the window. How bad could it be?
Fran: Im gonna wait till after we order. Its her, right.
Jamie: It looks like her.
Jamie: Hi, its us.
Phoebe: (Smiling blankly) Right, and its me.
Monica: Ill get it.
Mr.Heckles: Youre doing it again.
Rachel: Well try to keep it down.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Joey: Oh, no no no. Its for Ursula. I just figured, you know, size-wise.
Phoebe: Ohhh... Sure, yeah... (disgustedly dropping the cardigan back into the bag) ..okay, it fits.
Phoebe: That you like, (snappily confronting Joey over the heads of the knitting circle) we get it. You like her. Great!
Joey: Hey, Phoebe, I asked you, and you said it was okay.
Phoebe: Alright, well, maybe now its not okay.
Joey: Okay... Well maybe now Im not okay with it not being okay.
Chandler: Well, I guess thats why they call it psychology, sir.
(People start getting up. Ross grabs Carols doll to hold it upside down like a football, slapping it with his other hand.)
Carol: This is impossible. Its just impossible.
Carol: What that woman... did. I am not doin that. Its just gonna have to stay in, thats all, everything will be the same, itll just stay in.
Carol: (screaming at Ross) Oh, what do you know? No one's going up to you and saying, "Hi, is that your nostril? Mind if we push this pot roast through it?"
(Both women gulp in air. Ross looks at his "football," then manipulates the head & limbs back into place, until it resembles what it represents.)
Susan: I know its frightening, but, big picture. The birth part is just one day, and when its over, were all gonna be parents for the rest of our lives.
Joey: Well, not that its any of your business, but, no, we havent, okay?
Rachel: Oh, howd she take it?
Phoebe: Alright, so, can we turn this off? Can we just make it... make them go away? Because I cant, I cant watch.
Phoebe: Yeah. Its just, you know, its this whole stupid Ursula thing, its...
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, can I ask? So, hes going out with her. I mean, is it really so terrible?
Phoebe: Um, yeah. Look, I mean, Im not saying shes like evil or anything. She just, you know, shes always breaking my stuff. When I was eight, and I wouldnt let her have my Judy Jetson thermos, so she threw it under the bus. And then, oh, and then there was Randy Brown, who was like... Have you ever had a boyfriend who was like your best friend?
Monica: Rachel, what are you doing? Its freezing out here. Would you come back inside?
Mona's Date: Oh, its okay.
ROSS: Hey, I've been doin' it since the ninth grade, I've gotten pretty damn good at it.
Kim: Forget it Rachel! We're both so proud of how well you're doing. I'm not gonna let you blow it. In fact, if I catch you with a cigarette, you're fired. So go on, get out of here! Go on, I don't want you breathing this stuff! Go on!
Chandler: I'm telling you, she gives the worst massages ever!! Okay, it was like she was torturing me for information. And I wanted to give it up I justI didn't know what it was!
Mona's Date: Its awfully pink. (Ross mouths, "Its salmon!")
Monica: (on phone) Hello? (Listens) Yeah, hi! Mrs. Tribbiani? (Listens) Hi, this is Monica Geller. (Listens) Yeah Im just calling to say that Chandler and I uh, really hope you can make it to the wedding. Yeah, apparently a bunch of invitations that we sent werent delivered. Umm, I guess there was some screw up at the damn post office! (Joey nods his approval.) (Listens) T-Tell me about it! (Listens) Yeah, yeah, the US Post Office? No, more like US lost office! (Listens) What are they Irish?! (Joey gives her a thumbs up.)
Jim: It aint no thing, Im wild too.
Phoebe: Oh stop it.
Rachel: All right, easy mimey, the moment has passed, it aint gonna happen!
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Phoebe: Oh there it is.
[Chandler makes a fake "I know I couldnt believe it either" gesture.]
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe and Monica are walking down it.]
Monica: Alright, you know what? Thats it. Youve had your chance.
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Monica: I'll get it. (On phone.) Hello. (Listens.) Hi Emily! (Listens.) Yeah, uh you-you tracked him down. Hold on one second. (She hands the phone to Ross.)
JOEY: I just... I just don't think that I want it that way though, y'know? I mean, let's say I do make it, alright? I'm always gonna look back and wonder if it was because of my talent or because of.. y'know, the Little General.
Joey: Hey youre right. Yeah, its kinda been like us again a little bit.
Rachel: Ok, that's it! Just give'em to me! I'll split them up! (she tries to snatch the bowl from Joey's hands but she can't, so she pinches his nipple and she manages to take it)
Chandler: No, no resentment, believe me, it's worth it. 'Kay? Y'know in a relationship you have these key moments that you know you'll remember for the rest of your life? Well, every- single- second is like that with Aurora.. and I've just wasted about thirty-five of them talking to you people, so, uh.. Monica, can you help me with the door? (He has armloads of stuff.)
Chandler: Its a dog.
Ross: Ezel? Ezel? Ezel? (Looks it up in his book.)
Chandler: But come on, look at how cute and small this is! So I got it to give Monica so shed know I was okay.
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
CHAN: Well it couldn't have been worse. A woman literally passed through me. OK, so what is it, am I hideously unattractive?
Monica: Its out on the island. Its in Massapequa.
Rachel: Its not kicking right now. Although we would love to see you do (Mimics him) that again.
Phoebe: Don't worry, don't worry. We'll come up with a good lie. I'll help you practice it.
Chandler: Yes you did! Admit it! You freaked out!
Monica: Hey. Oh good-good youre here! All right, I figured it out. Im gonna take two tables of eight, Im gonna add your parents, and Im gonna turn them into three tables of six. Okay? And I called the caterer; I added two extra meals, we are good to go!
Monica: Its just that, its so much.
PHOEBE: It's not even that. I used to do my songs because it made me happy, but now it's like, it's just all about the money.
Rachel: Open it! Open it! Open it!
Ross: No, no, it was just our parents and 1 or 2 friends. It was a small wedding.
Man: Where did you have it?
Rachel: Okay, Ross, it has to be realistic.
Joey: (Unimpressed) A book? (Suddenly interested) Is it like a book that's also a safe?
Joey: All right. Okay. Well this is the same kind of deal. If youre going to do something wrong, (He grabs two steaks from the freezer) do it right!
Phoebe: Then you better do it now.
Phoebe: Are you sure it wasnt an oyster?
Phoebe: Oh look its Parker!
Phoebe: I cant. I cant believe I have plans, I cant. Can you do it tomorrow night though?
Parker: Look! Its the bunny hop!
Phoebe: Oooh I love it!
Ross: Oh, no, Mom, its just Monica this year.
Mrs. Geller: Thank you Monica that was uh, interesting. Wasnt it interesting, Jack?
Rachel: No! No! No! No its not! No its not! Come on! Phoebe, ours is totally different! I mean we dont have the (Looks desperately for something different.) We dont have the that lamp! And-and that screen is yknow, on the other side.
Rachel: All right I know, I know how it looks Pheebs, but Im telling you
Rachel: Yeah, I admit it. I have a crush on you, and uh, and, and I know that's crazy because we work together, and-and nothing could ever happen, and the last thing I want to do is-is to freak you out or make you feel uncomfortable. Which is why it would be really great if you said something right about now.
[Scene: Monica's eye doctor's office, Monica and Rachel are waiting in an exam room and looking at this big white thing used to check eyes. I have no idea what it is, and if an ophthalmologist happens to know what that is, let me know.]
Rachel: Ross, it just wouldnt have been feasible.
Chandler: I did. (Looks at his still deformed hand) But it came at a price.
Ross: I know, I know it was stupid.
Rachel: It was really fun being married to you tonight.
Rachel: I will think about it.
Monica: Okay thats it. I give up. At mom and dads 40th anniversary, youre the one giving the speech.
Monica: (starts to cry) Oh good God, Ross! How the hell do you do it?
Rachel: Okay, you go do it! Ill come back to that set! Ill meet more actors! Ill meet em all!
Joey: Oh, not at all. Happy to do it.
Lauren: So this is it? Victor?
Joey: Ah-ah-ah Mr. Smartie Pants, its just not my character thats not brain dead. Hey, so Pheebs, we still on for tonight?
ROSS: Well then that's it. And if George and Adelaide can't accept that, then the hell with them. Look, if my parents didn't want me to marry you, no way that would have stopped me. Look, this is your wedding. Do it.
Ross: I uh I dont know. I mean I I honestly didnt watch it.
Rachel: (with the sticks in her hands) Um... (She goes to the tarantula-cage and puts the sticks into it) Done!
Joey: Well, there are so many things, its hard to pick just one.
Phoebe: I know! You see it is stuff like this which is why (Looking down) youre burning in hell!!
Ross: Oh dude, don't worry about it, I found an unattended maid's car. We're way ahead of the game.
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Monica: Y'know what, dont tell us. Well just wait until Chandler gets home, (to Phoebe) because itll be more fun that way.
CHANDLER: Yeah.� I feel so bad.� Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Monica: All right guys stop it. Rachel, were very sorry that is a very insensitive thing for us to do. And yknow what? Let us make it up to you, we have two really great guys for you.
Chandler: You wanna see if we still have it?
Chandler: Can you believe it? I mean, don't I seem like somebody who should be doing something really cool? You know, I just always pictured myself doing something...something.
Chandler: Wish it! (To the woman, Kathy, he likes) Hi. Hi, I-I was just sitting over there, and uhh, Chandler. My name is Chandler. Did I say that?
Joey: I like it.
Ross: It tastes like feet!
Phoebe: I just talked him into it, dont tell me I have to do you too. The puppet master gets tired people.
Rachel: Oh! Yay! Look! Theres a piece that doesnt have floor on it!
Joey: It was so stupid, I said some stuff in an interview that I shouldnt have said. But believe me, thats not gonna happen today.
MONICA: Two it is. Ok, time for bed, I'm gonna go brush my teeth. [goes in the bathroom]
Monica: All right, look Im just gonna unplug it.
The Interviewer: How do you spell that? So we can get it right.
The Interviewer: So it seems like you have a lot of friends, who would you say is your best friend?
The Interviewer: Great! Well, it was nice meeting all of you.
Joey: I couldnt help it! When a fist comes at your face, you duck! Look! (He goes to punch Ross, expecting him to duck, but he doesnt and Joey punches Ross. Gunther is amused.)
Joey: No thats all right. Dont worry about it.
Joey: Rach! Hey! Its fine! Youre at Joeys!
Chandler: It hurts me. It physically hurts me.
Joey: Why would I return it? I love this bag!
Wayne: I spent two years developing this machine, its absolutely state of the art.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
Joey: Yknow, when we talked about face to face, I dont think we thought it all the way through.
Monica: Oh come on, its only fair, you paid for the flight. Now is, is that enough lire?
Ross: It really was.
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it Oh My God, Im a woman!!!
Phoebe: Thats good. I got to admit, I thought it was something else.