words in movies
Phoebe: Just wanna check my horoscope, see if it was right.
Phoebe: Come on, do it.
Phoebe: Do it!
Phoebe: Do it do it do it!
Rachel: No way, forget it.
Chandler: Yeah, well, you wouldn't think it was cool if you're eleven years old and all your friends are passing around page 79 of 'Mistress Bitch.'
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Chandler: Please God don't let it be Kung Pow Chicken.
(Rachel feeds something to Paolo. He eats it and licks her hand)
Rachel: Mrs. Bing, I have to tell you, I've read everything you've ever written. No, I mean it! I mean, when I read Euphoria at Midnight, all I wanted to do was become a writer.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, please, honey, listen, if I can do it, anybody can. You just start with half a dozen European cities, throw in thirty euphemisms for male genitalia, and bam! You have got yourself a book.
Mrs. Bing: (To phone) Okay, thank you. (To Ross) It's the Italian Hand-Licker, isn't it.
Ross: Okay, uh, about last night, um, Chandler.. you didn't tell... (Joey shakes his head) Okay, 'cause I'm thinking- we don't need to tell Chandler, I mean, it was just a kiss, right? One kiss? No big deal? Right?
Chandler: I can't believe it. Paolo kissed my mom?
Ross: Yeah, um, I don't know if you noticed, but he had a lot to drink, and you know how he gets when he's drun..uh... (He has caught sight of Joey scowling at him) I can't do this, I did it, it was me, I'm sorry, I kissed your mom.
Rachel: Yeah. Thought I'd give it a shot. I'm still on the first chapter. Now, do you think his 'love stick can be liberated from its denim prison'?
Phoebe: Okay, maybe it was a trick question. (Plays a few chords) Um, Rachel can we do this now?
Ross: Okay, 'you' can't, or (Points to Chandler) you can't? (Chandler grabs his finger) Okay, that's my finger. (Chandler twists it and Ross goes down on one knee) That's, that's my knee. (To Central Perk) Still doing the play. Aaah!
Phoebe: What, that's it?
Phoebe: Y'know what? We thought you were different. But I guess it was just the coma.
Mrs. Bing: (Reentering) O-kay. Look, it, it was stupid.
Mrs. Bing: Really stupid. And I don't even know how it happened. I'm sorry, honey, I promise it will never happen again. Are we okay now?
Joey: Shh. He did it. He told her off, and not just about the kiss, about everything.
Joey: I dunno, I've been standing here spelling it out for you! (Goes back to the door) I don't hear anything. Oh, wait, wait, wait. (Looks through the spyhole)
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
Ross: Yeah? How'd it go?
Ross: Well, see? So, maybe it wasn't such a bad idea, y'know, me kissing your mom, uh? Huh? (Wags his finger at Chandler, then puts it down) But.. we don't have to go down that road.
Rachel: Alright, that's it! Give it back! That's it!
CHANDLER: (shyly) It means we're holding hands.
PHOEBE: It could be like a big giant guy.
Rachel: Oh, I don't know. I guess it's not about no guys, it's about the right guy, y'know? I mean, with Barry, it was safe and it was easy, but there was no heat. With Paolo, that's all there was, was heat! And it was just this raw, animal, sexual...
JADE: It was just so awkward and bumpy.
Ross: ALL RIGHT!! Phoebe now come on! Will you please tell me what it is I did that mad you so mad at me!
Janice: On no! No! Its not good-bye, Im not leaving until you get on that plane.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Ross: No-no-no, no, umm, actually American surprise parties are-are-are very short. Its usually, "Surprise!" And then, "Oh my God, Im so surprisedgood-bye!"
CHANDLER: Okay, I'll do it!
Ross: (answering it) Uh-oh, saved by the bell. (On phone) Hello?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the phone rings and Monica answers it as Rachel and Phoebe move a box into the living room.]
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
RICHARD: Okay, I'll do it.
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
Ross: I was working late in the library one afternoon. It was just the two of us. She needed some help with her word jumble. And one thing led to another. If you must know, Anita was very gentle and tender. May she rest in peace
Phoebe: We could eat the wax! Its organic.
PHOEBE: And a crusty old man said I'll do what I can and the rest of the rats played moroccas. That's it, thanks, good night.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
RICHARD: Then, you're redoing it because...
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey-hey, I can help you decide who should do it! Yeah, we could have like uh, like an audition and see how youd handle maid of honor type situations.
Ross: Nooo, I had to return it to the costume place.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
GRANDMOTHER: It was your mother's idea. Ya know, she didn't want you to know your real father because it hurt her so much when he left, and, I didn't want to go along with it, but, well then she died and, and it was harder to argue with her. Not impossible, but harder.
Joey: No, I'm not questioning it, I'm saying it's stupid! (Notices Monica standing between them and smiling.) What?! (The camera clicks, taking another picture.)
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
Claudia: Yes, in Oklahoma it�s legal to smoke in offices with fifteen people or less. (passing the pack) Would you like one?
Rachel: (talking with a higher voice, and puckered lips kind of like you do to a baby or...well a puppy its hard to explain. Just use your imagination!) Oh, well, you are so cute! I wish I could play with you more, but Ive got to go to work! I hope I stop talking like this before my marketing meeting, yes I do. Yes I do. (still talking like that) Bye-bye, Joey. Oh, I seriously cant stop it. (exits)
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
Ross: Oh, she didn't think it would be that big of deal.
Monica: Rachel, its going to happen. Chandler is gonna move in here.
Chandler: I thought I broke Joeys chair! Thats why I replaced it with mine!
ROSS: C'mon Monica, do it. Hey, you guys, um, Monica has some news.
Rachel: I just dont know! It just doesnt feel right.
Ross: Uh-huh, Carol, so were we. All right, just-just imagine for a moment, Susan meets someone and-and they really hit it off. Yknow? Say-say theyre coming back from the theatre, and they-they stop at a pub for a couple of drinks, theyre laughing, yknow, someone innocently touches someone else Theres electricity, its new. Its exciting. Are you telling me there isnt even the slightest possibility of something happening?
Chandler: Dont worry, Im brave! I am brave! I I am brave! (They get to the door and Monica goes to open it.) No-no-no-no!! (He stops her.) (Through the door.) Can you tell me who is there please?
ROSS: It was ridiculous. Ya know, these guys, they were bullies, actual bullies, ya know. We're grown ups, this kinda stuff isn't supposed to happen anymore.
Chandler: Taste it.
Joey: Am I in it?
Ross: No! Do you wanna hear it?
Chandler: Yeah, come on, its Ross and Rachel, theyve got too.
ROSS: No, no, I was turnin' the knob and, and. . . here it is.
Ross: My son? Pretty serious. (Theres a knock on the door and Ross answers it.) Oh hey Katie! (The cashier from before) What uh, what are you doing here?
Chandler: Joey? Got you a Joey Special, two pizzas! Joe? (The phone rings and he answers it) (On phone) Hello? (Takes the phone away from his mouth when he realizes what he just did and yells.) Damnit! (Back on phone.) Hello? (Listens.) No, Joeys not here right now, but I can take a message I think. (Listens) Hes still got a chance for the part?! Oh, thats great news! (Listens) Well no obviously not for the actor who was mauled by his dog. (Listens) Oh well, thats great. I will give Joey the message. Thank you! (Hangs up and goes to write the message on the Magna-Doodle.) Yes! (Reading what hes writing) Okay, Mac audition at 2:00. Allergy actor attacked. (Pause) By dog not flowers.
Doug: Oh, is it the swearing? I mean is it the constant swearing? Because I gotta tell ya, if it is, you can just... kiss my ass!
Monica: Michelle! Of course, it was Michelle! Did it sound like Michelle?
Monica: It was Michelle. It was definitely Michelle.
JOEY: Incredible! I met the director this time and you'll never believe who it was.
Ross: Look, I'm sorry, I thought it looked pretty.
Rachel: No honey, we're sorry, we didn't mean it. I love you. I love you.
Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.
Ross: It was, it was her voice.
Phoebe: Okay, we're on it. We're on it.
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Chandler: Here! (Hands him one. Joey adds it up and discovers that he was right.)
LITTLE BULLY: It's a nice watch, I don't wanna break it on your ribs.
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Courtney: Its amazing like all week long weve-weve been saying the same lines and then the audience is here and we will mess up, and if you mess up once, then youll get nervous because youllyou know youll probably mess up again.
Phoebe: Yeah, I kinda do. (Mike lets go of her hand) Well, how's this? (she takes Mike's hand and puts it on her breast, she tears open the sugar and puts it in her coffee. Mike thinks it over and nods appreciative. After that, they hold hands again. Joey now enters, and sees the two sitting on the couch, holding hands.)
Chandler: Stop it. Stop it!
JOEY: Uhh, this is it, this is how we're gonna die. Ready?
[Scene: Rosss Building, they are approaching the apartment of the woman who died. Ross knocks on the door and a woman answers it.]
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Joey: (charmed, but then recoiling) NO, NO! It can't happen at all!
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Monica: Honey, having a heart attack is natures way of telling you to slow it down.
Rachel: No, I know I dont either, but ya know what, its their party, and its just one night. And we dont even have to lie; we just wont say anything. If it comes up again, well just smile. Well nod along.
CHAN: My diary! My diary, that's brilliant. I should have told her it was my diary, she never would have made me read her my diary.
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Rachel: Okay, walk us through it, honey, walk us through it.
Ross: There it is.
Ross: It was, it was great. Oh, what happened?
Ross: And it works both ways.
Monica: How do I tell Chandler that its too soon. Its gonna break his heart, hes not gonna think that I dont love him anymore.
Monica: Hey. Its three in the morning. They dont know that Ive come home yet. You notice how neither one of them are wondering where I am.
Charlie: Ross, we can solve this. I just heard your speech. We can recreate it! We've got all night!
Chandler: I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
Ross: Well it turns out that Ben and Stings son do not get along.
[The next one is from Episode 322: The One With The Screamer, its the end of Joeys play.]
Joey: Aww. (tastes it) Ohh!
Ross: No, no, don't, don't, rub it! Don't! (clapping) What gets out hummus?! What gets out hummus?!
CHANDLER: Na, forget it, it's probably stripped and sold for parts by now.
Malcom: I was thinking what it would be like to kiss you.
Chandler: Eh, y'know what, shes to political, she probably wouldnt let you do it, unless you donated four cans of food first.
ESTELLE: Don't worry about it already. Things happen.
Joey: Check it out!! Jam crackers!
(He finds a shoebox (out of shot), pulls it down and opens it. It is full of Sweet 'n' Lo's.)
Joey: I dont know. I guess theres just always been this distance yknowI mean we both try to pretend its not there, but it is.
Chandler: (nods his head) Do you mind if we stick you in another cabinet? (to Joey) They seem all right with it!
Rachel: What are you talking about? I love them! (Looks into the cage) Yeah, I had a tarantula when I was a kid. But it-it died, because my cat ate it. And then, then my cat died. But Joey, isn't this cool?
Rachel: Oh, really, really? Well, it wasn't very good for me either. (She turns to leave and Ross over takes her and stands infront on her, his back to the row of doors leading to the hospital rooms)
Ross: I was the James Michener of dirty talk. It was the most elaborate filth you have ever heard. I mean, there were characters, plot lines, themes, a motif... at one point there were villagers.
Joey: He's got the body for it.
Phoebe: Yeah, but Monica, do you actually want to be in a relationship where you can actually use the phrase, "Thats not how your dad used to do it."
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica and Rachel are on the couch looking at the Playboy magazine. When they hear someone coming, Monica goes to hide it under the sofa cushions.]
Joey: How is it you?
Director: Okay, everybody, we'd like to get this in one take, please. Let's roll it.. water's working (The shower starts).. and... action.
Monica: (hearing that) Thats it big girl! (Hits Janine in the butt with the garbage bag) Come on!
Joey: Yeah! Well, well really it's three. Please. You're so good at it. I love you.
Phoebe: Oh, I don't know. I mean it was fun one time.