words in movies
Chandler: Actually, this is for Kathy's birthday. It's an early edition of her favorite book.
Ross: How do you think it's gonna look when you get her something incredibly meaningful and expensive and her boyfriend Joey gives her an orange?
Phoebe: It's gotta be better than that book. Oo! Like a crossbow!
Phoebe: Okay! It's worth it, if it will get you moving. You haven't worked in months.
Chandler: It's okay, the duck's using our bathroom anyway. (Kathy goes into the bathroom.) Hey Joe! What are you getting Kathy for her birthday?
Rachel: No! I'm sorry, honey, it's just that last week I got all but three answers and I really want to finish a whole one without any help.
Joey: It's two gifts in one. It's a pen that's also a clock! Huh?
Chandler: Because she's not eleven! And it's not the seventh night of Hanukkah!
Rachel: Okay, honey, what he means by that, is ...while this is a very nice gift, maybe it's just not something a boyfriend gives?
Joey: Sure it is! She needs a pen for work, she's writing, she turns it over.... "Whoa! It's time for my date with Joey!"
Joey: (whining and heading toward the door) Look, it's too late, and I got an audition. I can't shop anymore! I...
Phoebe: I know, it's tough. You know what the first thing I did after my mother's funeral was?
Phoebe: Pay the caterer! Look, I've had a lot of jobs, okay, and there are some people who just always try to get out of paying. It's either, you know, "that massage wasn't long enough, or, "I don't recognize any of those songs," or, you know, "these sombreros aren't big enough. Bad little white girl!"
Ross: Well, like that, only instead of a chair, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of a jacket, it's a pile of garbage. And instead of the end of the day, it's the end of time, and garbage is all that has survived! (Ross takes the loosely tied tie off and hands it to Joey who puts it on.) Here.
Ross: It's, uh... it's endearing, really.
Chandler: Yeah? You don't think it's just pathetic?
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Chandler: No, it's a book that's just a book, okay? It's an early edition of the Velveteen Rabbit. It was her favorite book as a kid. So, uh, just... let me know if she likes it, okay?
Cheryl: It's me!
Cheryl: Wait! No! No! It's my hamster! It's Mitzi!
Cheryl: (looking in the bag) Oh, thank god, it's not Mitzi. It's just a rat.
Joey: Yeah, he did, look... look, it's right there on the counter! Ha-ho-ho!
Chandler: See, you think it's just a pen, but then you turn it over and it's also a clock.
Ross: Phoebs, It's open! It's open!
Joey: (sigh)... It's a fertility study.
Mike: Yeah well, that's the thing. For me it's as far as it can ever go.
Joey: It's ah, step-ity, step and jazz hands.
Joey's Doctor: Are you ready? It's time to try peeing. (Joey makes a face like he is trying to pee.) Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! It's almost time to try peeing. (Points at the bottle Joey is to pee into.)
Erica: Gosh, you know, you're just such an amazing couple. It's... kind of intimidating.
Monica: Ethan, it's um... it's icky.
Ross: I don't know, God, I... well, it's not like she's a regular mom, y'know? She's, she's sexy, she's...
Intercom: It's me, Carl.
Rachel: Ross, it's too hard.
Rachel: Okay. (She tilts her head back and squeezes the eyedropper. The only problem is, it's not over her eye.)
Ross: Yeah, it's really 6:00 tomorrow night our time.
Joey: No, no, it's not, don't listen to him! (to Ross) I'm gonna thump you! (points his fist at him)
Monica: (to Julie) It's an expression.
Susan: It's gonna be ok, just remember, we're doing this for Jordie. Just keep focusing on Jordie.
Ross: So do I. (Slowly walks in.) Okay Rach, before anything happens (He takes off his coat) I just want to lay down a couple of ground rules. (Turns back to face her.) This is just about tonight. I don't to go through with this if it's going to raise the question of "Us." (Rachel's confused) Okay? I just want this to be (Kicks off his left shoe) about what it is! (Kicks off the other one.)
Chandler: No it's not. It's small. It's tiny. It's petite. It's wee.
Monica: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Phoebe. It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed.
Ross: I like it. I do, I think it's a Ten. (Chandler laughs.)
Chandler: ...Well, y'know, part of me wants that, but it's like I'm two guys, y'know? I mean, one guy's going 'Shut up! This is great!' But there's this other guy. Actually it's the same guy that wells up every time that Grinch's heart grows three sizes and breaks that measuring device... And he's saying, y'know, 'This is too hard! Get out! Get out!'
PHOEBE: Oh, oh, OK, so everyone, pretend like I'm telling you a story, OK. And, and it's really funny. So everyone just laugh, now.
Dr. Franzblau: No, it's hard enough to get women to go out with me.
Mrs. Geller: Do you know what it's like to grow up with someone who is critical of every single thing you say?
Rachel: Yeah, well, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady.
Phoebe: Well, it was an accident...You know, it's a lot of oil and sometimes the hand just slips!
Ross: It's breast milk.
Phoebe: Not even if you just pretend that it's milk?
Joey: Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. It's one of my gifts.
Joey: Yeah, it's kinda sweet, sorta like, uh...
Ross: Because it's breast milk. It's gross.
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Chandler: Well, maybe it's because of the way you're dressed.
Ross: (to Charlie) So, eh... it's probably gonna be hard for you to leave Boston, huh?
Monica: It's that terrible?
Phoebe: (reading the nametag on the uniform) Hi, I'm Ben. I'm hospital worker Ben. It's Ben... to the rescue!
Monica: Yeah, uh, it's actually not that big a deal.
RACH: And ya know what, now I've got closure. [Rachel slams the door and locks it. She sits down, visibly upset. She puts her head in her hands and begins to cry. Ross comes back and is standing outside the window. When Rachel regroups and gets back up to finish closing, she sees him. She smiles. She goes to open the door and can't get the lock undone.] ROSS: Try the bottom one. [She opens the door and they kiss.] [Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler answers the door to find Monica.] CLOSING CREDITS CHAN: Monica, it's 6:30 in the morning. We're not working out, it's over. MNCA: No way, with one pound to go, c'mon. We're workin', we're movin', we're in the zone we're groovin'. CHAN: OK, I don't, I don't mind the last pound. OK, in fact I kind of like the last pound. OK, so don't make me do anything that I'll regret. MNCA: Ooh, what'cha gonna do, fat boy, huh? What? CHAN: Nothing, except tell you, uh, I think it's wonderful how much energy you have. MNCA: Well, thanks. CHAN: I mean, especially considering how tough it's been for you to find work. MNCA: Well, you know. CHAN: You know, I mean, you can't tell your parents you were fired because they'd be disappointed. MNCA: [sad] Uh-huh. CHAN: And it's not as if you have a boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. MNCA: Well no, but um. CHAN: I mean, if it were me, I think I'd have difficulty just getting out of bed at all. MNCA: Y'know, I try to stay positive. . . CHAN: So, you feel like goin' for a run? MNCA: Alright. CHAN: Because, you know, you don't have to. If you want, you could just take a nap right here. MNCA: OK. Just for a little while. CHAN: OK. [Puts an afghan over her and dances into his room]
Phoebe: Yeah, but, y'know, it's... it would be like starting on the fifteenth date.
Woman: Oh, I'm sorry, is that your basket? It's really pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds.
CHANDLER: (on phone) Hi, it's me.
JANICE: Hey, it's everybody.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
ROSS: It's the only possibility, Phoebe.
Phoebe: Really? So this is... this is my big send off in the married life? Rachel this is the only bachelorette party I'm ever gonna have! I've got a big wad of ones in my purse! Really? I mean, really? It's just tea?
RACHEL: It's really not that big!
Phoebe: It's too soon to tell. She's resting, which is a good sign.
ROSS: It's just, it's, it's me. You, you know I've only been with one woman my whole life and she turned out to be a lesbian. So now I've got myself all psyched out, you know, and it's become, like this, this thing and I. . . Well, you just must think I'm weird.
RACHEL: I think it's sexy.
Rachel: It's my father. He wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
CHANDLER: What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie.
Chandler: It's a beautiful thing.
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
Dr. Franzblau: No, no, really. I suppose it's because I spend so much time, you know, where I do.
RACHEL: So, it's pretty late, you're probably uh, not still planning on. . .
Rachel: Well, it's a little low... pick up a little... (Ross picks it up) a little bit more... (he picks it up again) a little bit more... (he takes it off) There you go! (pause) Now throw it away!
ROSS: What, it's not your fault.
JOEY: It's like, you got so many lines to learn so fast, that sometimes you need a minute to remember your next one. So while you're thinkin' of it, you take this big pause where you look all intense, you know, like this.
CHANDLER: But it's Ross.
PHOEBE: It's Ross.
Monica: Come on guys! Suck it up! We're closing in on ten hours! It's gut-check time!
PHOEBE: Oh, it's like a skit.
MONICA: It's on us, all right, so don't worry. It's our treat.
Mike: And that's how it's done! (Phoebe kisses him)
(Hayley laughs and goes into the kitchen thinking it's a joke, Joey doesn't see what's so funny about it)
CHANDLER: Look guys, I know it's a little steep.
MONICA: It's work.
Monica: STOP IT!! ...Oh my God. It's true! Who am I?
Monica: Okay. (in her microphone) It's zero hour. All teams execute on my count. (to all) Let's get this bad boy on the road.
Carol: Ross, you're being silly. I've tried it, it's no big deal. Just taste it. (Holding out a bottle.)
Chandler: It's just that I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. I say this year, no dates, we make a pact. Just the six of us- dinner.
MONICA: Why, it's dinner for six. 5 steaks, and an eggplant for Phoebe.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
TOGETHER: Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, it's not your fault.
Jill: Chandler, we've been here for an hour doing this! Now watch, it's easy.
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
MICH: Well, you know, there's no one way really, it's just, you know, whatever it takes so that you can finally say to him, "I'm over you."
Rachel: All right. All right, all right, all right, all right, I know it's stupid! I will go see him this afternoon, and I will just put an end to it!
PHOEBE: Ok, look, before you even start, I'm not denying evolution, ok, I'm just saying that it's one of the possibilities.
ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
ROSS: No, no, uh, it's not what you think. It's um the other thing.
ROSS: Really. It's always been you, Rach.
JOEY: 'Cause it's always somethin', you know, like Monica's new job, or the whole Ross's birthday hoopla.
Ross: I know, I know I was, but there was always this little voice inside that kept saying it's never gonna happen, move on. You know whose voice that was?
CHANDLER: Uh-Oh. It's Isaac Newton, and he's pissed.
Joey: But no, it's not close. You said it was in escrow? I couldn't even find it on the map.
Ross: Oh my God. It's like Sophie's Choice.
Monica: Well, my breasts are going to get bigger weather you like it or not! And you know what? It's not just my breasts. My ass is going to get bigger too.
Joey: Ok, Caravaggio uses chiaroscuro here to highlight the anguish of the central figure. Touch it, it's really bumpy! (Reaches out to touch the imaginary painting).
RACHEL: Well, from me. And I know it's not your big money song, but it's my favorite.
JOEY: No, no, no, it.. it's too hard. It's not worth it. I quit.
ROSS: Look it's the artist formerly known as Chandler.
Phoebe: (In a strange heavy accent) Hello "ja", it's time for your massage, ja! Put your face in the hole.
MNCA: It's Fun Bobby.
PHOEBE: What is this obsessive need you have to make everyone agree with you? No, what's that all about? I think, I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.
RICHARD: It's the basketball playoffs.
PHOE: It's not that bad.
PHOEBE: No, no, no. I'm sorry. It's "smelly cat, smel-ly cat".
Joey: Right. Thanks. It's June. I'm outta here. (Exits.)
David: Uh, that's definitely a, uh, valid question. And, uh, the answer would be (Writes YES on the board) yes. Yes I was. But, see, I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss that happened at this phenomenal moment, because, well, 'cause it's you.
Ross: What, it's gonna be Helen Willick?