words in movies
Susan: Oh, is he hungry already?
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
Ross: This is my son having lunch, ok? It's gonna happen a lot, so you'd better get used to it. Now if you have any problem with it, if you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. Carol's fine with it, now come on.
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is all there.]
Ross: It's a big deal to me. This is great, Monica. I really appreciate this.
[Scene: A Department Store, Joey is selling men's cologne.]
Joey: Listen, I know you're new, but it's kinda understood that everything from Young Men's to the escalator is my territory.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there as Monica enters.]
Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey is trying to sell some cologne.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Carol is dropping Ben off for Ross to watch.]
Carol: Ok, and this is Funny Clown. Funny Clown is only for after his naps, not before his naps or he won't sleep.
Susan: Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. (Ross looks at her.) Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person.
Rachel: Oh, this is so cute.
Monica: Hello? Oh, Hi, Ju(Sees Rachel is watching)Hi, Jew! (Walks into the kitchen.) (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens.) Uh huh? (Listens) Ok. (Listens) Um, sure, that'd be great. See ya then. Bye. (Hangs up.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Chandler, Rachel, and Joey are eating, and Phoebe is preparing Ben's milk.]
Rachel: Phoebe, that is juice, squeezed from a person.
Joey: What is the big deal? (Tastes the breast milk.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, time lapse. Rachel is entering the living room from her bedroom as Monica enters.]
Monica: Hey, where is everybody?
Monica: That is an excellent excellent question. That is excellent.
Rachel: Monica, what is with you? Who'd you have lunch with?
Monica: That is not true!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Ben is playing in his crib while Chandler and Ross are leaning against the rim and are completely asleep.]
Monica: (on the phone) Hi, who's this? (Listens) Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. (Listens) Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. (Listens) Joanne, it's not as simple as all that, ok? (Listens) No, I don't care what Steve thinks. (Listens) Hi, Steve.
(There's a knock on the door which is answered by Phoebe.)
Carol: My breast milk is gross?
Ross: No, no, Carol. There's nothing wrong with it. I just, I just don't think breast milk is for adults.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is wiping down the peninsula counter as Joey enters dressed like a cowboy.]
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Rachel is cleaning up and Monica is pleading with her.]
Monica: Rachel, (they go back inside) say that I'm friends with her, we spend some time together. Is that so terrible?
Julie: Yes. Oh my god, are you kidding? Ross is so crazy about you, and I really wanted you to like me, and, it's probably me being totally paranoid, but I kinda got the feeling that maybe you don't.
Rachel: Um, ok, uh, oh god, um, when you and uh Ross first started going out, it was really hard for me, um, for many reasons, which I'm not gonna bore you with now, but um, I just, I see how happy he is, you know, and how good you guys are together, and um, Monica's always saying how nice you are, and god I hate it when she's right.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, another showdown is occuring, only this time its between Ross, a plate of cookies, and the breast milk. They've been eyeing each other for a while now, and Chandler and Joey are getting bored. He checks his Ross and in frustration, shoves his watch in front of Ross's eyes as if saying, "Hurry it up already!" Finally, Ross scratches his head, does that again, itches his nose, scratches his head, grabs the bottle, takes a big swig, and piles several cookies into his mouth.]
Joey: Look, Chandler I dont think us getting our asses kicked is a solution. Okay? Just go and find Monica!
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there.]
Monica: Y'know what really bothers me? Isit's how-how different you act around them! I mean y'know the throwing the tennis games, the fake laugh, the "I'll see you around, Bing!" "Not if I see you first, Doug!" (Mocks the fake laugh.) I gotta tell you, I don't like Work Chandler. Okay? The guy's a suck-up.
[Scene: Filming a scene from the movie. Joey is dying on a gurney, Van Damme is looking over him.]
Joey: Is there anything we should know about the apartment?
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Monica: What is that?
Helena: (To Monica) And who is your friend?
Chandler: Yeah, listen, how cold is it going to be there? Do I need a coat or will all these sweater vests be enough? (Holds up 3 of them in different colors.)
Rachel: Well of course that is what Im here for!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is writing letters as Rachel enters.]
Ross: Is uh, is Monica here?
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: Okay. Phoebe, I-I think Ross is right. What are we gonna do?
Rachel: That would be great! Wait, how long is Denise gone for?
Richard: Well yeah, Im sorry. I know this is the wrong time and the wrong place but I had to tell ya! I wanna spend my life with you. I wanna marry you. I wanna have kids with you.
Monica: Ross! That is so sweet of you to get Phoebe that bike! When I heard the story, I almost cried.
Phoebe: Yeah. (Looks.) Oh, thats gone too. This is Monicas bathroom right?!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is coming in from the bedroom]
Phoebe: Then yes that is what Im having. (Takes another puff of the cigarette.)
Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Ross is just hanging up the phone as Rachel and Phoebe enter.]
Carol: Is it a good sign that they asked us to hang around after the audition?
Rachel: Yeah, it's kinda like a 'good luck on your first day' sort of thing. (to Phoebe) Is this actually a lunchbox?
Ross: So this is your office?
Ross: That is an old, Chinese woman!
Phoebe: Oh my God! Is that him? (She points at someone.)
Ursula: Oh. No, no, he is so smart. He'll figure it out. (Offering to share her food) Do you want some chicken?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachel is still trying to stall Monica.]
Catherine: Actually, he is buying a much bigger place. It's got a great view of Central Pa.....
Emily: (on answering machine) Hello Ross? It's Emily. (Rachel runs back into the room with the tequila.) I know this is out of the blue but uh, I'm getting married tomorrow. Well, maybe I am. I keep thinking about you and I'm wondering if-if we made a mistake giving up so fast. Are you thinking about me? Of course you're not, but if you are, call me tonight. Okay, bye.
Rachel: Well, wait a minute! The puss is good! It means it's healing! (Runs after him.)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is eating breakfast as Rachel enters having just woken up.]
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour!
Rachel: Someone? I brought people. Mr. Thompson, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, this is Mr. Thompson. (She introduces them.) Hes the head of my department.
Phoebe: Oh! Here it is! (Noticing it next to the door.) Ooh, Joey! Why did you sign it, "Son of a bitch?" (Son of a bitch is written across the entire picture.)
[Scene: Lamaze class. Susan is there. Each couple has a doll, for they have just finished learning how to change a diaper. As Ross rushes in, stepping on the Rostins pretend baby, squashing its head flat. It bleats, in protest. He performs emergency surgery, then hands the doll back to J.C.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is entering and arguing baseball with Erin. Phoebe and Rachel are already there.]
Monica: Hey, the point is that he was at everyone of your swim meets and he was there cheering you on! Okay? Thats a, thats a pretty great dad.
Joey: Ooh! A tape with a girls name on it. It's probably a sex tape... (realises) Wait a minute... This says Monica... (looks around) And this is Richard's apartment... (realises some more)
Richard: Is that my ass? (Hes looking at Joeys.)
[Scene: Mr. Geller's birthday party. Monica is in the bathroom and Richard comes in.]
Mr. Bing: Our little boy is getting married.
Ross: Huh. This is nice.
Chandler: You look beautiful. Is this new? (Her dress.)
Monica: (To Chandler) Who is this?
[Scene: Rosss apartment, Phoebe has moved in and has a massage client on her table shes set up in the living room. Ross enters and is shocked to see a naked man lying on the table.]
Ross: (grabbing a notepad and sitting down) All right, we'll start off slow. The only thing you have to do tonight is come up with the name of your main character.
MONICA: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.
Joey: This is crazy! Hey look, I wanna switch to Rachel!
Transcribers Note: This is stuff we never saw from all of the seasons, so for all of the scene settings I will be using the current arrangements. Even though some of the out takes take place when Chandler was living with Joey and Rachel was living with Monica, when Joey and Chandler were living in Monica and Rachels, and the current arrangements.
[Scene: The Days of Our Lives producers office, Joey is entering to find Terry there.]
Ross: Okay, Im sorry, this is insane! I-I-Im not addicted to heroin, Im not gay, and there is no problem with my ability to consummate anything! Look, Ill consummate this marriage right here, right now!
Rachel: No, its not gonna be okay Ross, tomorrow is my last day, and I dont have a lead. Okay, y'know what, Im just gonna, Im just gonna call Gunther and Im gonna tell him, Im not quitting.
Courtney: It is one of those days!
[Cut to Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is talking. It looks like when Rachel and Monica lived in this apartment.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Joey is talking to Monica and Chandler.]
[Cut to Central Perk, first season Monica is talking.]
Joey: Hey and, this is a little extra something for yknow, always being there for me.
Joey: Okay, the next situation is for Rachel. The wedding is about to start you walk into the back room and you find Monica taking a nap with Ross. (Ross lies on the floor.) Ill be Monica. Go! (He jumps down and cuddles up with Ross.)
Joey: (To Phoebe) Oh and uh the guy who got the Paris trip is at table four.
Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. Thats what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, with the perfect four-tiered wedding cake (Starting to cry), with the little people on top. (Ross gets thrown a box of Kleenex from the bathroom and he gives her one.) Thanks. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.
[Cut to Central Perk, same as before Joey is entering.]
Mike: Mom, dad, this is Phoebe. Phoebe, these are my parents: Theodore and Bitsy.
Rachel: Oh come(Stutters)Of course I know that. I mean of course you never leave a baby alone! I mean who wouldshe wouldnt be safe as she would be with me, the baby dummy. Oh God, okay. Yknow what? I think opening the presents right now is a little overwhelming right now. So I think umm, Im just gonna maybe open them a little bit later, but thank you all for coming. And for these beautiful gifts, and this basket is beautiful.
Dr. Green: Stay calm?!! How do you expect me to stay calm?! This is unacceptable Rachel! And I wanna know why?!! Is it because that punk Ross wont marry you?! Thats it! Is that it?!
[Cut to that same kitchen, only this is The One With The Proposal, Richard is telling Monica something.]
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, The One Where The Monkey Gets Away, Rachel is watching a soap opera with Marcel.]
Phoebe: And you... Your home is lovely.
[Reset, Joey is about to pour more booze on.]
Rachel: Okay. NowWhat is my first line?
[Cut to Carol and Susans apartment, from next weeks episode Rachel is talking to Ben.]
Rachel: Okay, now what was that all about? Is it-does it not taste good? Let me try it.
Mr. Zelner: Its kind of a risky joke Tag, and what is-what is this drawing I cant figure out what this is?
(There is a knock at the door. Someone turns the music off, then the whole party runs and hides, except for Monica and Rachel who answer their door. Ross stands in the doorway, holding a box, but everyone is too keyed up to notice that it's him.)
(She runs to the bathroom, while Chandler starts acting like a chicken in front of Emma. Emma is silent, however.)
Joey: All right, I have one question. What is the deal with this? (Imitates Ross's 'quiet down' maneuver, but does move his hands up and down he just flaps his hands as if he's waving good-bye.)
Ross: (shocked) You dont have a valid drivers licenseOkay that is it! Pull over right now!
PHOEBE: OK, no. For your information I'm going to see him so I can put all those feeling behind me. OK, and the reason I'm dressed like this is because I think it's nice to look nice for your gay husband.
(David is laughing.)
Ross: Yes, yes it is. In prison! Whatsa matter with you?
David: That is too much!
Joey: Oh my God! Is that why you guys had to get married?!
Message: (Phoebe's voice) "Hello. Th-this is the pigeon from the balcony calling to apologise" (they all turns to look at Phoebe) "I sh.. I shouldn't have knocked the tickets out of the pretty lady's hand. It-it was all my fault. Not hers. Bye. Coo."
Ross: Look, face it, my father is not going to pay for the build-in barbecue and believe me you can kiss you gazebo goodbye. Now I might be able to get you the new lawn.
Rachel: (To Joey) Do you even know who Kip is?
[Scene: The Movie Set, Joey is walking up to the director, pleading with him to let him go.]
Phoebe: It is.
[Scene: Another street, somewhere along the River Themes, Ross, Emily, and Monica are walking to where theyre gonna get married. Emily is relating the troubles with the caterer.]
Rachel: Oh! (They smile and the picture is taken.) Oh by the way?
Monica: Oh that is so sweet!
Phoebe: Is it Ross? Its Ross isnt itOh my God, its Joey!
Phoebe: Yeah. Thats fine. Thats fair. Is it Tag?
Rachel: Yeah! Guess who walks into my office is the end of my story. (To Monica and Phoebe) It was Ralph Lauren! (Monica and Phoebe gasp) Ralph Lauren walked into my office!
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers bathroom, the scene is continued from earlier.]
Rachel: Yeah, yknow what? Dont look at it. (Realizes the display is their living room) Seriously, dont look at it. (Tries to pull Phoebe away.)
[Time lapse. The band is finishing another song.]
Monica: It was soo amazing, he is so sexy, and smart, which makes him even sexier. Oh gosh, I gotta so you this. Last night, we were fooling around and he stops to write a poem.
Monica: This is so huge.
Monica: Of course not nothing is. Between me and you