words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is watching TV, and we hear Mr. Treeger in the bathroom.]
Joey: (coming in from his bedroom) What is that?
Joey: Whoa! Is this porn? What did I do? I mustve hit something on the remote.
Joey: No, we didnt even pay our cable billmaybe this is how they punish us.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's erm, Monica and Rachel's, Ross is entering.]
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Ross: Is that why in junior high you were the only one that hung out with that Ukrainian kid?
Ross: What-what is love really?
[Scene: Beth Israel Medical Center, Phoebe is at her OB-GYN doing an ultrasound, Rachel is with her. We here the babys heartbeat.]
Rachel: Is that the heartbeat?
Rachel: Oh wow! This is so cool.
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is there, waiting to tell Frank and Alice the news.]
Frank: Yeah, Ive been thinking ever since you said we were having triplets, the best thing for me to do is to drop out of college and get a job.
[Scene: The airport, Emily is getting ready to board her flight to London.]
Ticket Agent: (On the P.A.) This is the boarding call for Flight 009.
Ticket Agent: This is the final boarding call for Flight 009.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Rachel is singing some kind of song.]
Phoebe: Well, Frank has to quit college because his super fertile sister is having three babies! I need to make a lot of money really fast, and I had an idea that I want to talk to you (Points to Chandler) about, cause you work for a big company. Okay, insider trading, what information is there that you can give me.
Monica: It is not over! Youre over!
Monica: It is not over because she is going to call you and tell you she loves you. And the reason why she couldnt, is because her feelings were so strong, it scared her. Now you go home and wait for her call, she could be calling you from the plane! Come on now go! Go! (Tries to push Ross out the door.)
Ross: Okay! Okay! But if she doesnt call, it is definitely over! No, wait. Wait. Unless, eventually, I call her, yknow just to she whats going on, and, and she says shell call me back, but then she doesnt. Then its over.
[Scene: Rosss bedroom, he has fallen asleep waiting for Emily to call. He is awaken by the phone.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Ross is relating his recent conversation with Emily to the gang.]
Monica: Of course theres another guy!! This is even more perfect! Now you have to prove your love!
Monica: All right. When is, when is the next flight out?
Phoebe: Oh, that is better.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same night. There is a knock on the door and Chandler answers it to reveal Emily standing behind it.]
Emily: I uh, Ive been to his apartment and he wasnt there, and uh. I need to talk to him, so do you have any idea where he is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is still watching the porn as Chandler enters.]
CHANDLER: This isn't your first surprise party, is it sir?
MR. TREEGER: [to Rachel who is standing under mistletoe] So, uh, is this, uh, mistletoe?
JOEY: Right this is staging.
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, one week later. Monica is seated, Rachel comes out of her bedroom.]
[Scene: Museum of Natural History. Ross enters the display where Rachel is waiting.]
[Scene: Monica and Chandlers new apartment, Chandler is putting something away under the sink.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey is putting jam on his muffin, lots of jam]
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, time lapse, Chandler is fully dressed and slowly walking out of the bedroom with a distressed look on his face.]
Phoebe: (Monica is yanking on her bra strap) Bras! We bought bras! We bought bras.
Erica: Uh-huh! I think it's time to kick you in the nuts and see which is worse!
MR. GREENE: Thank you. Is that one of my cigarettes?
MONICA: Money is so impersonal. Cookies says someone really cares. . . Alright, we're broke, but cookies do say that.
Chandler: Wow, this is serious. Ive never known you to pay money for any kind of capade.
[Scene: The hallway after the party. Rachel is sitting there.]
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
[Scene: Monica's party. She is seeing off the last of the guests.]
Rachel: Oh, that is so sweet. I think Im falling in love with you all over again.
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
(Helens buzzer is heard on the intercom, so Chandler presses his button, too.)
[Chandler is visibly upset]
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is watching movers take all his stuff away.]
MONICA: Wow, all you need now is The Killing Fields and some guacamole and you've got yourself a part-ay.
GRANDMOTHER: Anyway, that's all I know. That, and this. [pulls apart a frame and pulls a picture out] This is the real him.
Monica: I might've said that. (Chandler laughs.) Why is that funny?
Monica: Okay? (To a different group) Over here we have pink suede, which is nice. But umm, if it gets wet then you know its gonna shrink.
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
Mackenzie: This is what my mom was talking about. Whiners are wieners. (Joey glares at her angrily) Look, you want your friends to be happy, right?
[Scene: Chandler's office. Joey is there.]
[Ad break. Time lapse. Still at party at Chandler and Joey's. Rachel is talking to Chandler and Ross.]
[The next one is from Episode 712: The One Where Theyre Up All Night, Joey and Ross are deciding how to climb down the final part of the fire escape.]
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
[Scene: Hotel's bar. Ross is running to Charlie trying not to be seen with two cocktails in his hands. She's hidden behind a huge plant]
Chandler: (slides the juice across the counter which Joey catches) What do you care? You're an actor. This is your day job. This isn't supposed to mean anything to you.
Phoebe: Well, yeah, because I have to break up with someone, and Okay so Jason is sensitive, (holds up one finger) but now sos Vince (holds up one finger on her other hand) Plus, Vince has the body y'know? (holds up two more fingers on the Vince side) So Its really just about the math.
RICHARD: If it's not a right angle, it is a wrong angle.
RICHARD: No that's not true. That is not true.
Molly: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.
Ross: This is perfect! She'll have to come back here with your pizza, and when she does, I'll turn on the Charm-O-Ross. Oh I'm so glad you don't eat meat.
Rachel: Your fly is open, Geller. (he checks it, and zips up)
JOEY: Hey. Mr. Douglas is looking for you.
ROSS: Doctor Burke is sexy?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, erm, Chandler and Joey's, Joey is debriefing Rachel on her rejection earlier that day and telling her what she shouldve done. Ross and Phoebe are watching.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?
Ross: (He notices something through the window.) No! No! Wh What are you doing?!! (Dr. Ledbetter is slowly backing away.) GET OFF MY SISTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey, Phoebe, Monica, and Chandler are there; Chandler is showing everyone his new computer.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Ryan is walks up to the door and knocks.]
JOEY: You see this, this is a friend.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Chandler: Nothing, just a little extra air in my mouth. Pffft. Pffffffft. (walks over to where Joey is seated)
(She exits, and after the door is closed, Chandler turns to Joey and )
CHANDLER: Why? Wh- wh- why is Mr. Douglas looking for me?
Joey: Okay, buddy-boy. Here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
[Scene: The Emergency Room, Ross is still going on about his first night with Carol.]
PHOEBE: We were just wondering if Chandler's girlfriend is a girl.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, Cassie is eating dinner and Ross is pacing behind her because of what shes eating.]
Joey: Okay, uh Pheebs, quick. Look! This (His video camera) is for the babies to look at someday, so is-is there anything you want to say? Y'know before it all starts?
[Ross looks up as if saying that Joey was weird. He begins flipping through the pages, only to find that they are sticky. So one page is overlapping another, making two recipes look like one.]
Rachel: All right look lady here is the deal, I came here for an annulment and I am not leaving here until I get one!
Joey: (to himself) Man, this is a long drive! Are my eyes open? No! (He opens his eyes and sees a hitchhiker.)
RACHEL: Okay, now that is the third time someone has said something like that to me today.
Rachel: Look, If I dont get to London!! He is going to marry that other girl!!!
RACHEL: Oh my God this is sooo humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the Copa Cabana in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
CHANDLER: Yeah, this more than anything else, is the staging area.
Joey: Hey! Uh, this is just to give you an idea. Okay well, we can put screens here, (In front of the crib.) so that the baby has privacy, and-and-and maybe a mobile over the crib. And uhOh look! Heres a baby monitor (Holds it up), which until the baby comes we can use as walkie-talkies. Huh?
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey are there, Joey is on the phone.]
CHANDLER: Alright, that's it. Look Joey, I'm sorry, I realize this is the role of a lifetime for ya, and if I could just fire Joseph, I would, but unfortunately that's not possible so I'm gonna have to let both of you go.
Joey: I thought I did! Oh hey guess what? The premiere is next week and youre all invited! (They all gasp.)
RACHEL: No, see this isn't about the movie theatre, this is about you stealing my wind.
JOEY: Yep, this kiss thing is defiantly a problem, Mr. Beatty wants to see it again on Monday. Man, I gotta figure out what I'm doing wrong. Oh, okay, one of you girls come over here and kiss me.
Chandler: There is not one hair on that head.
PHOEBE: Everything you've heard is true.
RICHARD: If kids is what I takes to be with you then kids it is.
Phoebe: You guys make a very attractive couple. (The camera cuts to a shot of the picture and we see that Monica is posing with Joey instead of Chandler.)
Joey: Why wouldnt ya? Erin is great! Then-then theres you guys.
Phoebe: Good. It's just so hard, it's hard for me to ... let them go. I guess it just brings back memories, you know, from ... when I gave birth to my brother's triplets and I had to give them up. (Mike is shocked) I haven't told you about that yet, have I?
[Scene Central Perk, the whole gang is entering]
Rachel: Nooo Way! The most romantic song ever is The Way We Were.
Phoebe: Well my guy is spectacular. Okay? Hes a massage client and one time umm, when he was on the table, I looked at it. And I mean all of it.
Joey: This is Janice.
[Scene: Rachel and Monica's, Monica is entering from the bathroom.]
Monica: God, what is wrong with me.
Monica: Ross this is the only thing left that has a shot at working.
Joey: Cute! This is Janice! You remember Janice?
Joey: Listen, the next time you talk to him, can you ask him which one the strongest Power Ranger is?
JOEY: But this is a two line part, it's like takin' a step backwards. I'm not gonna do this.
Rachel: Ohh! (walking away from the window) Phoebe, this is all your fault! Now he loves her, hes gonna marry her, and this is all your fault.
LITTLE BULLY: Is that supposed to be funny?
Ross: She is a kook.
Ross: Joey, you are gonna love this guy. Gandolf is like the party wizard!
[Scene: A Hallway, Chandler is following Joey.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is talking to a man at the counter. Ross and Phoebe are sitting at the couches.]
[Scene: Monica's bedroom, Phoebe is trying to relax her.]
Ross: That's all right, Rach, we got the bags. Hi, hello. Julie, this is my sister Monica. This is Chandler. Phoebe. Joey, what up?
RACH: Oh God, even his knock is boring.
The Casting Director: So uh well the director is insisting that whoever play that part be authentically, anatomically not Jewish. Do you know what Im saying?
[Joey is looking at Rachel, smiling, and gesturing his head towards Ross.]
Ross: Your Mom, your telling me, your telling me, about your Mom, what is the matter with you?
VAN DAMME: You can tell her I think her friend is cute.