words in movies
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there but Ross and Joey. Gunther hands them the bill, and Chandler gives some money to pay it.]
Phoebe: Okay, dime! (Donates that.) You guys should probably keep talking; this could take a while. (Finds something else.) Oh no, wait! Look it! Whoa! (Looks at it.) Oh my God, this is a police badge!
Monica: Oh yes, it is. I'm sorry I borrowed it, I was cold. I hope its okay?
[Scene: A couch store, Ross is trying to decide on a new couch for his place. He has dragged Rachel along for the trip, and she's not too happy about it. Ross is sitting on it in different ways to see how it feels. He tries to just sit on it normally, and then he tries flopping on it. One thing about this couch, it's huge. It's like twice the size of a normal full size couch. Whoever designed this thing, needs help and fast.]
Ross: (To Rachel) Yeah, I still don't know. (To the salesman who is hovering nearby) I'm sorry I just wanna make sure that I bought the right couch. I need a couch that says, "Kids welcome here." But that also says, (In a sexy voice) "Come here to me!"
Ross: No! No! No! The "Come here to me" is y'know for the ladies.
Ross: Oh, sure. Whoa-whoa, what's this? The delivery charge is almost as much as the couch!
Rachel: Yeah! (She puts on her coat and turns around and sees Ross is expecting her to help.) (Laughing.) Are you kiddin'?
Rachel: (Disgustedly she goes and tries to pick up the couch. Much to her amazement, she is successful.) Oh. Oh! I can do it!
[Scene: Outside of Central Perk, Phoebe is exiting and sees a woman put out her cigarette on a tree.]
(They start the attempt. Ross is going backwards and reaches the first landing. This staircase has three steps then a landing, makes a 90-degree turn, and has more steps before another landing and another 90-degree turn.)
Ross: Okay, go left. Left! Left! (The bottom of the couch is hitting the railing.)
Rachel: Okay, y'know what? There is no more left, left!
(She can't stay at the end as the couch rounds the turn so she shifts to the back corner of the couch and is at a 90-degree angle to it.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Phoebe is telling Chandler and Monica how she fought crime in her own way with the badge she found.]
Chandler: Okay, but impersonating a police officer is a serious thing. You could get arrested.
Monica: What is going on with you?
Joey: All right! There is something. I kinda had a dream, (pause) but I don't want to talk about it. (Starts for his room.)
Chandler: You had a dream about a girl that I am seeing?! Oh, that is so cool! (To Monica) I can't tell you how many times I've dreamt about a girl that he was seeing. (Seeing Monica's stare.) (To Joey) Anyway we're talking about your dream. (To Monica) I love you. (To Joey) Your dream? (Leans in to listen closely.)
Monica: Well sure! I'm just wearing sweats! (Looking at Chandler and slowly realizing what his point is.) But that's good that you're not in love with me, because you just want a girlfriend!
(They realize the implication of their behavior, stop instantly and head for his bedroom. In the meanwhile, Joey is starring at Rachel in a seductive way.)
(Rachel is stunned.)
[Scene: Outside Central Perk, Phoebe is walking up and notices a car that is parked half on the curb and right in front of the door, making it difficult for people to enter Central Perk.]
Phoebe: Excuse me, is this your car?
Cop: Who-who else is in vice up there?
Cop: (following her) Hey by the way, I'm sure Sipowicz is gonna be all right. I heard that kid from Silver Spoons is really good. (Phoebe's stunned) And where did you find my badge?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering. Rachel is there getting some tools to help Ross out.]
Joey: is because they were friends first. Y'know? So I asked myself, "Who are my friends?" You and Phoebe, and I saw you first. So
Rachel: (laughs and pushes the chair back in) Yeah, well, y'know umm No honey, listen I think it's a great idea to become friends with someone before you date them, but I think the way you do it is y'know you meet someone, become their friend, build a foundation, then you ask them out on a date. Don't hit on your existing friends!
Chandler: Y'know, I would be offended, but Monica is freakishly strong, so
Ross: All right. (They start up the stairs. Ross is first.) Okay, here we go!
(Chandler has moved forward and is now underneath the couch as it heads up the first set of stairs.)
Ross: Oh yeah it will! Come on, up! Up-up-up! Up! Yes! Here we go! Pivot! (They start up the stairs again. Chandler is between the couch and the wall now.) Pivot! Piv-ot! Piv-et!! Piv-ett!!! Piv-et!
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is returning and finds Chandler, Monica, and Rachel are there.]
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Joey is entering with a pizza and finds everyone but Ross there.]
(They all throw their pieces back as there is a knock on the door.)
Monica: Who is it?
[Scene: The couch store, Ross is talking to a saleswoman.]
Ross: This couch, is cut in half! I would like to exchange it for one that is not cut in half!
Rachel: (Faking crying.) Yeah, he dumped me. He said, "Rachel, I cant do this. Even though you are a very, very, very beautiful women. I cant do this. Im married and Im sorry." And then I dont know why but he said, "and you will never get promoted. Especially not above Kim, who is an integral cog in the Ralph Lauren machine."
[Scene: Central Perk, the gang is there, minus Ross. Chandler is trying to cheer Joey up about missing Phase Two.]
Chandler: No you are not! You are sweet and wonderful and this is gonna happen for you.
Ross: No, God no! That is no place for a woman. Those guys will grab anything.
[Cut outside, Joey is catching up with Phoebe.]
Ross: (grabbing back his coffee) If the place you are referring too is being in love, then she is in the same place as me because I am not in that place!
Rachel: Yeah, it is! But youre just a kid! I mean youre 25!
Tag: Rachel, dont do this. This is just because youre turning thirty.
Ross: Yes lets. Yknow what? Uh, its-its not important. What is important is that, is that were having a baby. And its notDoesnt matter who came on to who.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is still bumming about cancellation of Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Ross: (moves closer) All Im saying is, its one thing being prepared for an attack against like each other; whole another story being prepared for an attack, I dont know, like a (turns and puts his face close to Rachels and screams) surprise!!
Monica: What is DOOL?
Monica: Do you mind telling us what it is?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that same night. There is a knock on the door and Chandler answers it to reveal Emily standing behind it.]
Ross: Thats right Lydia, Elizabeth here is a student and uh, were dating. And you may frown upon that, but were not gonna hide it anymore.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is pouring Rachel some coffee.]
Joey: Hey Pheebs! Listen, this wooden box keeps sliding out from under the seat. What-what is it?
Chandler: Seriously? Seriously, no! You can play your own age which is 31!
Joey: No. It just seems like Ross is the kind of a guy that would marry a woman on the verge of being a lesbian and then push her over the edge.
[Scene: Monica’s apartment. Monica is cleaning with a vacuum and then she cleans it with a dust buster. The guys enter the room.]
Ross: Oh really. Is that how you felt when you turned thirty?
Rachel: (checking the speed dial) All right, first name on the speed dial is mom.
Monica: What is that?
Chandler: Why is your family Ross?!
(They go around the last row of bookshelves and find a couple doing what college coeds do in secluded corners of university libraries. For those of you who dont know what Im talking about, lets just say that clothing is undone. Ross gasps and the couple gets up and runs away.)
Phoebe: That is a different phone.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the entire gang is there, eating breakfast. Phoebe is on the couch, fidgeting.]
(Kristen is not enjoying this.)
[Scene: The telemarketing office, Phoebe is getting shown to her desk by the supervisor.]
Phoebe: (pause as she considers it) Okay, well Ross, what is this really about?
Ross: Oh well, it sounds to me like your family is ready to uh, rediscover its Scottish roots.
Cecilia: Is that supposed to be me?
Ross: Well yeah-yeah the Scottish history is so much more
[Scene: Central Perk, Sergei is teaching Phoebe how to sing American Pie, by Don Maclean.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is being yelled at by her dad over the phone, and hes been going on for so long Rachel is holding the phone away from her ear and reading a book.]
Joey: Here it is! Our last pizzas together as roommates.
[Sequence 3: Chandler is running with the ball, Phoebe flashes him again, but Chandler covers his eyes, and keeps running. He then runs into a tree at the end of the field.]
[Time Lapse, Paul is now weeping uncontrollably in Rachels arms.]
Rachel: Oh yeah! (She gasps.) Oh my God! That is our friend! (Monica covers her face.) It's Naked Ross! (Monica turns and buries her face in Chandler's shoulder.)
Phoebe: No! Hey, we're not leaving until we get paid! I don't know who she thinks she is! Enough is enough! (Phoebe goes into the living room.) Hey, widow?
Phoebe and Rachel: (simultaneously) Who is it?
RACHEL: I know. And Mom, I realize you and Daddy were upset when I didn't marry Barry and get the big house in the suburbs with all the security and everything, but this is just so much better for me, you know?
(There is a knock on the door.)
Ross: Hey, yknow whats weird? After you guys get married, when you introduce me to people youre gonna have to say, "This is my brother-in-law Ross." Not, "My friend Ross," "brother-in-law Ross." Thats weird isnt it?
Joey: That uh, that is my roommate Rachel.
Receptionist: (holds up her handshe is on the phone) It says to call this number if you're not completely satisfied with this candy bar. Well, I'm not completely satisfied.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, breakfast is finished but Rachels still down.]
Joey: Yeah, its okay. I know what a mainsail is. (Points to it. Its the larger sail.) I know, I know to duck when the boom comes across. I-I know port is right.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is entering.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is trying to move Joeys chair and not having much luck at it as Joey enters.]
Rachel: Water it is.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, I noticed that! Is that cause shes so passionate?
[Scene: A Gym, Pete is training for the Ultimate Fighting Championship, with his trainer, Hoshi.]
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
MR. TREEGER: No, the place is not open 'till Tuesday. Am I not saying it right.
Chandler: Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is "spermtastic"!
Monica: Hey! My first review is out!
Monica: That is true.
Dr. Green: 74?! I ordered the 75! Thats a magnificent wine! The 74 is sewage! Why would you bring me sewage?! (The waiters dumbfounded) Is that a hard question? Are you an idiot? Is that why youre a waiter?
Phoebe: What is it?
Ross: Why dont you call him?! Well, thank you very much! Y'know now he is going to prep her, y'know prep her, as in what you do when you surgically remove the boyfriend!
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is reading and there is knock on the door which she answers.]
Phoebe: Our apartment is ready.
Phoebe: Its amazing! My headache is completely gone! What are those pills called?
Monica: Honey? Is that something youre making up?
Rachel: No!! You are getting married! This is all I have.
(Joey runs off down the hall. Ross tries Monica and Rachel's apartment, but it is locked so he has to stand in the hall and pretend he wasn't listening. Chandler and his mom come out)
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting in the chair.]
Monica: Phoebe, your liver is right here. (She points to the right side of her torso.)
[Scene: Chandler's apartment. Chandler is sitting on the bar, bouncing a ball against the door. Joey walks in right as he throws the ball and catches it.]
Phoebe: (laughs) All I could think of was yknow, "Is he gonna kiss me? Is he gonna kiss me?"
Joey: Is that why you wanted to tie my tie?
[Scene: Hillarys apartmen,. Hillary and Ross are having dinner. He is avoiding opening his mouth.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is saying good-bye to her boyfriend Jake at the door to Central Perk.]
Joey: (To Rachel) This is it! This is my category.
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, the announcer is introducing the next presenter.]
Rachel: Joey is says Best Supporting Actress!
Ross: Okay. Okay. (To the nurse behind the desk.) Umm hi, this is Rachel Green. Im Ross Geller. We-we called from the car.
Phoebe: No that is the last thing you want to do!
[Scene: Outside Room 816, Joey is briefing Phoebe on Cliff.]
[Scene: The 2001 Soapie Awards, Joeys category is up next and the presenter walks to the podium.]
Phoebe: Oh my God! Youre right! Go! (Monica starts to leave.) Go tell Chandler! Hurry before its too late! Wait no! (Monica stops.) Does this also mean putting out doesnt get you love? (Monica is shocked.)
Joey: Ah, this is my friend Rachel.
Chandler: (imitating Monica) Oh, and you know whose knowledge of her ex-boyfriend is shocking? Monica!
Monica: Honey, as we get closer to the wedding, is there anything that you would like to talk about or share?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is talking to Chandler.]
Rachel: That is totally different for two reasons. One - I didn't know that you knew that. And two, I wasn't some creep staring at his ass, we had a deap meaningful relationship.
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Phoebe is entering.]
(In slow motion, Phoebe snaps the ball, Rachel goes long. Joey and Chandler and all over Phoebe, leaving Rachel wide open. Ross starts to rush Monica, who sees Phoebe is double covered, in desperation she throws to Rachel. We see flying through the air, and then Rachel running underneath it, then the ball, then Rachel again, then the ball, then Phoebe, Chandler, and Joey staring at it in shock. Then with the grace of Jerry Rice (no offense to Jerry Rice), Rachel catches the ball, and she stops and spikes the ball. Both Phoebe and Monica erupt in celebration.)
Chandler: Honey, you've been in there for a long time... Is everything okay?
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Joey is sitting behind the drums wearing safety goggles, hitting them with his sticks as Rachel watches.]
Phoebe: Hey the wedding is so close! Are you getting nervous?
[Scene: Central Perk, Monica and Joey are there. Joey is reading a newspaper.]
Ross: I can't believe this. I can't believe this is happening. I have to give the keynote speech tomorrow! Ok? I have to stand up in front of all these people. What am I gonna say?
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Joey is entering.]
Phoebe: Oh. (goes and answers the door and there is this huge black delievery guy.)
Phoebe: Well thats only two days away. What is the other option?
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find someone up here. The work is starting to pile up. Ive got a stack of documents on my desk this high. (Holds his hand at shoulder level.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is there as Chandler and Monica enters.]
Joey: Yeah, I just got off the Internet! Man, there is a lot of porn out there!