words in movies
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Monica is trying on a pair of new boots as Chandler enters.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe, Ross, and Rachel are sitting on the couch and Ross is talking to Rachels, who is now showing, stomach.]
Rachel: Bye. (She gets up to leave but is stopped by Joey)
Rachel: No, forget it! No way! I am not sending anymore Ralph Lauren clothes to prison. It is a waste.
Ross: Fine! No more dinosaur stuff! Can I talk about fossils? (Joey is about to sit down and hears this so instead he groans and exits.)
Phoebe: Your kid is seven?! (Ross nods, "Yes.") (To the rest) Hes really small. (To Ross) Please! Please get the tickets!
Joey: (entering, with Dina) Here she is! Future fashion superstar!
Joey: This is so exciting for her. Well, Ill let you two fash ists get down to business. (Exits.)
Rachel: Okay. All right Dina, well lets talk about the different areas of fashion that you could get involved in. Lets see, theres design, but you may need a whole other degree for that. Uh, theres-theres sales, which is great because you get to travel
[Scene: The Hallway, Monica is returning, but before she enters the apartment she stops on the step and changes from wearing tennis shoes to the boots and she moans in pain as she puts each boot on.]
Chandler: Oh dont forget, my office holiday party is tonight. (They go into the apartment.)
[Scene: The Hallway, Rachel is about to enter her apartment with Dina to tell Joey the news.]
Rachel: Honey, its going to be okay. Hes been incredibly supportive of me, and if he gets a little upset; thats what the meatball sub is for. (She gives Dina a sandwich wrapped in aluminum foil.)
Joey: (concerned) Oh. Whats, whats going on? Is it mom? Is she sick? Is it dads heart? Is that a sandwich?
Joey: Is that a sandwich?!
Joey: Well obviously this is a mistake! You cant be pregnant! Because you have to have sex to get pregnant!
[Scene: The Midfield Day School, its after school and Ben is taking a drink of water as Phoebe enters.]
Phoebe: Well, I heard youre having a problem with one of the boys in your class. And so I thought I would just come down here and sit you both down, have a little talk and make it all okay. Now umm, the boys name is Stings son.
Ben: I have to go. My friend Doug is waiting for me over there. (Goes over to Doug.)
The Teacher: Oh, their number is on the contact sheet.
Chandler: So I was right. This is what it feels like to be right. (Pause) Its oddly unsettling.
Rachel: Oh Joey this is crazy!
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
[Scene: Stings Apartment, Phoebe has come to talk about Jack and is waiting for Stings wife, Trudie Styler, to enter.]
Phoebe: Wow! This place is incredible! (Gasps) Stings pen that he gave to Phoebe. (Puts the pen in her purse and goes over to a floor-to-ceiling bookcase) Come on! Secret passageway! (Starts pulling books at random as Trudie enters.)
Trudie Styler: Im told there are two sides to this story, but all Ive heard is that Bens a bit of a poo-poo head.
Trudie Styler: Oh Im sorry, Jacks father is not available.
[Scene: The Street, Chandler is carrying Monica past a store window.]
Rachel: Joey, just because theyre not getting married doesnt mean this is going to be a disaster. Maybe they have a plan!
Joey: (to Dina) You were right. He is funny.
Bobby: Well its just me and my pal Rooster, the bands name is Numb Nuts.
Joey: Dina, if youre having a baby you should be married! Even if it is to Bobby! (Bobby gets happy.) Dude, thats not a compliment!
Rachel: So forcing her to marry Bobby is gonna make that happen?
Dina: Joey, I cant stand the thought of having this baby with you mad at me. I want him to have his uncle. Is my baby gonna have his Uncle Joey?
Dina: Were gonna be all right. I mean, even if were not married this baby is gonna be so loved. Not just by us.
Rachel: Oh screw her, that part is mine!
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler is cleaning the apartment for Monica and is frustrated with things not lining up.]
Rachel: Yes, so close. Mrs. Lynch, I know that this is an emotional and difficult time, for all of us. But by any chance did Joanna send any paperwork your way before it happened.
Chandler: Panicking! And using the Internet to try to prove that Im related to Monica. How is she?
Chandlers: Dude, none of this is cool.
Rachel: Ok, well this is like that...in no way. I had a...I had a dream last night that I wanted to kiss Joey.
[Scene: Rachels office, Rachel is confronting Joanna about her interview.]
Matire'd: (motioning to the empty table next to Monica and Chandlers) Or if you prefer, this table is available.
(Kathys co-star rips her blouse off and buttons go flying into the audience, and one hits Ross. Chandlers mouth is on the floor.)
[Scene: In front of Monica's restaurant. Phoebe is playing]
Phoebe: Why? The only person my playing is bothering is you!
Rachel: What...how is it going with Drake?
Phoebe: I cant. I cant. She dumped me, I mean I totally trusted her and then one day it was Okay, bye Pheebs gone. Y'know what the saddest part is, when we were playing together, that was like the most fun Ive ever had in like all my lives.
Phoebe: What is it?
Dr. Schiff: Im sorry, is there something going on here?
Receptionist: Unfortunatly the only thing we have available is our deluxe suite, the rate is six hundred dollars.
[Scene: Phoebe is in central-perk with Joey telling him what Ross said t her at the beginning.]
Monica: No! All hes thinking about is how youre taking this! I mean, listen its totally freaking him out. Hes talking about moving to Vermont.
VAN DAMME: Can't you see what's going on here, this man is dying.
Rachel: Of course he will! But Chandler the most important thing is you forgive yourself!
Rachel: And last year is that why you sent us to that medieval times restaurant?
Rachel: Okay, very cute braces. Anyway yknow what, the point is Tag, start looking because you are going to find those contracts on your desk. (She goes into her office.)
Phoebe: Well, nobody wants a ghost. But youve got one, because the house is sitting on an ancient Indian burial ground.
[Scene: Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe's, Monica has just gotten back from brunch and is telling Chandler about it.]
Rachel: (on tape) Can you believe this is already happening? I mean it seems like yesterday they just got engaged.
Ross: Yeah, Charlie is gonna be joining my department.
Ross: (entering with Charlie) Oh, hey you guys! This is Charlie! Charlie, this is Phoebe and my sister, Monica.
Rachel: ... Ok, who is this?
Monica: Ok, what is this?
Monica: Joey is having a secret Days Of Our Lives party up on the roof!
Rachel: Oh, no, no! I heard you before, that is so not what this is!
Rachel: Im just saying that yknow, someday Ross is gonna meet somebody and hes gonna have his own life. Right?
Chandler: Where the hell is everybody?
Gunther: Jij spreekt Nederlands? Dat is te gek. Heb je familie daar? (Translation: You speak Dutch That's cool. Do you have relatives there?)
Phoebe: Monica, you might want to remember that you are married. Where is Chandler anyway? (Looks around)
[Scene: The Roof, Rachel is talking to a guy who hands her a tissue with something written on it]
Mrs. Geller: I'm telling you, it's a wonder your mother turned out to be the positive, life-affirming person that she is.
Charlie: Yeah, well, he is a brilliant man.
Ross: Who is intimidating to a guy who won the Nobel Prize?
Rache: How is it going with Charlie?
Rachel: Come on! I think this is funny! (Ross leaves)
(Dirk is confused)
[Scene: The roof, Joey is walking towards Ross with a guy]
Maitre D�: I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
RACHEL: Oh God, Ross.� Ross is going to pick up the phone.� Oh, I have to get my number back.� (She turns to find Bill, but they have gone.)� Oh my God.� He's gone.
(Rachel is puzzled)
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
Ross: Yes, she is this new professor of my department that I did not kiss.
Phoebe: But, I mean, do you think hes gonna enjoy it when hes up to his elbows in the diapers from all the babies they have to have right away?! This is not fair to Frank, (she walks behind them again, and hey again turn to follow her) and it-its not fair to the babies, and y'know what, its not good home economics.
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Monica: What is the big deal?
Monica: (a bit surprised) Yes, he is. Me.
Rachel: (after a pause) Phoebe, Shania Twain is still alive!
Ross: Thats true, thanks dad. (To All) People should be dancing! Huh? Hey, this is a party! Come on! Joey, dance!! (He starts to dance but stops when no one else joins him.)
(Ross and Mike glance at each other then both suddenly turn to Phoebe who is gone. �They sheepishly exchange glances.)
Receptionist: Sorry, everyone is booked!
Receptionist: Well, I think this is a great place to work!
Joey: No, look, you know Charlie, right? She's cool, she's funny, her body is soo...
Monica: Because, honey, I mean this in the sweetest way possible, nobody is gonna wanna watch that.
Chandler: (to Heaven) No no no... I mean, why? why is she here??
Phoebe: Is something wrong?
[The next clip is from The One With The Jellyfish.]
Janice: Oh! Well, you know what? It probably is.
Chandler: Yeah! yeah... The hard part is over!
Janice: That's not the hard part honey! The hard part is what comes next, I mean aren't you worried about the results?
Phoebe: Uhu, uhu... and why do you think that is?
Monica: Y'know what, this is obviously some kind of twisted joke she's trying to play on him.
Rachel: I know, but I was just thinking about how huge this is for me. I didnt even go to how huge this was going to be for the father.
Charlie: Actually, you know, Joey is your friend, and you don't really know me that well; it would be weird.
Charlie: He is very sweet. Plus he's hot!
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is sitting on the sofa, reading the newspaper.]
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Monica: All right then, then nothing changes! Everything is great! Everything stays the same! And you go unpack because its been three days and its driving me insane!
Monica: He cannot play at our wedding! I mean everyone will leave! I mean come on, that is just noise! Its not even a song!
Joey: I dont know! Its not like its porn! This is a serious, legitimate movie. Yknow? And the nudity is really important to the story.
Monica: With good news? (very quickly and wringing hands) Of course it is not good news, you just said (deadpan) "Doctor Connelly just called". If it was good news you would have said (excitedly) "Doctor Connelly just called! " But so what is it? Is there a problem, uh? Is there a problem with me or with you?
(Ross resumes playing, this time accompanied by Phoebe screeching out Es in tune with Ross. While Phoebe is singing along, Rachel is having a very difficult time keeping a straight face. Thankfully, Ross gives up after a little while.)
PHOEBE: Ok, this is a typical lightning-bearer thing. Right there, it's like, um, 'Hello, who wants one of my fallic shaped man cakes?'
Rachel: Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. (Rubbing his shoulder.)
Monica: Yes... What is the end of that sentence?
Phoebe: Yes, they are expected presently. Yeah, yeah um, their arrival is in the offing.
Joey: Enough said, I'm there for you man. Where is she, upstairs?
[Scene: Professor Sherman's office, Ross is relating to Professor Sherman]
(Turns to look at Professor Sherman, only to discover that he is sleeping)
Ross: Come on sweetie! Youve had to work late every night for the past two weeks, what is it this time?
JULIE: So is there like a story or do they just stard doing it right. . . oh, never mind.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is scrapping gum off the table as there is a knock on the door. He goes over and opens it.]
Rachel: I know, I know, so it is just not a big deal.
Chandler: Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work!
[Scene: Ross and Carol's, Carol is working on something at the table and Ross is reading a newspaper on the couch.]
Monica: Chandler, this is crazy! What did you even say to him! "Come up, meet my wife! Give us your sperm"!
(Monica hears that and is suddenly very interested in Zack)
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Stranger: And it is annoying when parents put their baby on the phone...
RACHEL: Um, this is gonna sound kinda goofy but uhhm, my friend over there, who cooks by the way, um, she thinks you're cute.
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings]
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
[Scene: Central Perk. Joey is sitting on the sofa, eating a cookie.]
Rachel: Uh-huh! Nice try, but you dont get that chair anymore! All right? That is my chair now! You can sit on my lap! (Joey starts to get up.) No I take that back!