words in movies
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
[Scene: Chandlers office, he is trying to find Rachel a date.]
Mike: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Is this, hot Rachel, that you took to the Christmas party, Rachel?
Chandler: (to Drew) Oh, by the way, that is her full name.
Chandler: Well, I dont really know what that is, but lets!!
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Phoebe is working on a new song.]
Ross: Not her. Yeah, this is someone else I meet, and I-I cant decide between the two of them. Yknow the one from Poughkeepsie, even though shes a two hour train ride away, is really pretty, really smart, and-and a lot of fun. But this other girl, well, she lives right uptown. Yknow shes, well shes-shes just as pretty, I guess shes smart, shes not fun.
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is there.]
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is eating some cheese.]
Monica: Okay. Could the waiters gather around to hear tonights specials? Okay, first there is a Chilean Sea Bass prepared with a Mango relish on a bagWhy is nobody writing these down?
Monica: (louder) A positive atmosphere! But I-I-I have had it up to here. (She holds her hand over her head as an afterthought.) From now on, it is gonna be my way, or the highway! All right? Does anybody have a problem with that?!! (Joey looks at the money hes holding, and doesnt speak up.) Hey new guy! I said, does anybody have a problem with that?!
[Scene: Allesandros, continued from earlier. The other waiters are gone and Monica is confronting Joey about his not speaking up.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is working on her holiday song, Chandler is sitting on the couch reading a magazine, and Ross is sleeping on the couch.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is playing living room golf as Rachel enters. Rachel sees this and holds the door open until Chandler is ready to start his swing, when he is, she slams the door shut which causes the club to fly from his hands. He turns around, shocked.]
Rachel: What?! Chandler, what is the matter with you?!
Chandler: So there is no good time to ask that question.
[Scene: A train to Poughkeepsie, Ross is asleep against the window.]
The Conductor: The next station is Poughkeepsie. Poughkeepsie!
[Scene: Allesandros, Monica is cooking.]
Monica: (starting to cry) Im a good person. And Im a good chef, and I dont deserve to have marinara sauce all over me! Yknow what, if you want me to quit this bad, then all you have to do is
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
The Conductor: Last stop, Montreal. This stop is Montreal.
Ross: (waking up) What? (notices that there is now a beautiful woman sitting next to him)
[Scene: Allesandros, Joey is coming back in with his coat on.]
[Scene: Central Perk, Phoebe is singing her holiday song.]
Phoebe: (singing) "Went to the store, sat on Santa's lap. Asked him to bring my friends all kind of crap. Said all you need is to write them a song. They haven't heard it, so don't try and sing along. No, don't sing along.
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there as Phoebe enters.]
Erica: Well, if there is anything else you wanna know... (Monica and Chandler look at each other)
[Scene: Rosss birthday, night has fallen and Joey and Ross are walking by where his car is parked to find that both cars blocking him in have left.]
Monica: Didn't you listen to the story? I mean, this is twisted! How could you get involved with a woman like this?
Phoebe: Oh, hello, kettle? This is Monica. You're black.
Rachel: Yeah, but it was different with him today! And he wasn't, like, Orthodontist Guy, y'know? I mean, we had fun! Is there anything wrong with that?
[Scene: A hall on the floor where Chandler works. Chandler and Phoebe enters, and overhears some employees's conversation. One of them is doing Chandler.]
Rachel: I don't know where the phone is.
CHANDLER: Hey, guys, it's after midnight, merry Christmas everyone. [Ross and Phoebe hug, Monica and Rachel hug, Chandler is left standing]
[Scene: 4 Queens Club, Helena Handbasket is singing.]
(Ross notices that Paolo is standing on a step, which makes him taller. Ross gets up on the same step so he can look down at Paolo.)
Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.
Monica: Uh, Aunt Iris? This is Phoebe, and that's Rachel...
Joey: Man, she is going to have a great time! Is she staying at the Hotel Corona?
(Everyone is amused by Chandler's comment.)
PHOEBE: What, what's about to happen? [starts watching] I've never seen this part before. Hey, Travis, watcha doin' with that gun? Oh no, no no Travis, put down the gun. No no no no, he he's your buddy, he's your Yeller, no, no no, the end, THE END. [hear the gunshot from the TV] [Scene:Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard is on the balcony smoking and Monica is on the phone.]
[Scene: The Waiting Room, Chandler is falling asleep on Monica's shoulder.]
(Marcel points the remote at Monicas television, pressing a particular combination of keys. The logo SAP appears on the screen, and suddenly the dialogue is dubbed into Spanish.)
Lydia: There is no father.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]
Phoebe: Okay, dont sweat it. (Looking around her.) Chandler is nowhere around so go ahead get it out of your system. That guys cute. (Points to a guy sitting behind Monica.)
Chandler: Rachel, what is the deal with you and doctors, anyway? Was, like, your father a doctor?
Joey: Oh, it is.
Joey: It is.
Lydia: Oh, that is so not true.
Molly: (goes out of the room) Hey! Guys, this is Tabatha (they kiss on the lips in a romantic way). (to Ross) I'll see you tomorrow.
Joey: You know what the Celtics problem is? They let the players run the team.
Ross: Who the hell is Jordie?
Phoebe: And on my way over here, I stepped in gum. ...What is up with the universe?!
Ross: Please. This is so your fault.
Susan: How, how is this my fault?
(Phoebe goes to leave the room, but the door is locked.)
Chandler: That is so weird, because every time I go to the dentist, I look down the hygienists blouse.
Ross: Except we're not. I mean, we haven't been a couple in like, six years. Oh my god, is that right? Has it been that long?
Rachel: (entering from her room) Hey guys do you think this is too sluttyHi Kash!
Monica: This is it. Yeah, this is the one. I cant believe I found it!
(She hugs him and he starts to hug her back but notices the look Phoebe is giving him and pushes her away.)
Chandler: I would have to say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.
[Scene: Monicas birthday, Monica is now dressed and is being helped out by Chandler and Rachel.]
Lydia: No, this is a loaner.
Guy: Your mom called me. So is this her?
Rachel: It's so that I can spend Thanksgiving with my family. See, every year we go skiing in Vail, and normally my father pays for my ticket, but I sort of started the whole independence thing, you know, which is actually why I took this job.
ROSS: No look I wasn''t right, that's what I came here to tell you. I was totally hung up on, on my own stuff. Listen, I'm someone who needs the whole security thing, ya know. To know exactly where my next paycheck is coming from buy you, you don't need that and that's amazing to me. I could never do what you do Joey.
Phoebe: This is so great.
[Scene: Estelle's memorial service. Joey is giving a speech. Next to him is a blown op photograph of Estelle behind her desk and there's a man standing next to him.]
Susan: Oh, hes fine. Hes fine. Its just that us getting along is difficult for him, because he doesnt like me.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
Joey: No! (She nods no to Chandler) Because he didn't believe in my movie! Which is a big mistake because it is real! Real!
Joey: Ew! What is that? Something exploded!
Susan: You know what your problem is? You're threatened by me.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Ross: No, this is pretty much it.
Monica: He is so amazing.
(Ross is practically drooling over Rachel at this point.)
[Cut to Monica and Chandler's, Chandler and Joey are living here and Ross is writing on the Magna-Doodle when Rachel opens the door causing the door knob to hit his hand.]
Joey: Well, is it, like, a little annoying, or is it like when Phoebe chews her hair?
Joey: Then you gotta come clean with Ma! This is not right!
[Scene: Joey and Lydia in the hospital room. Lydia is on the phone with her mother.]
Chandler: This is the New York Times.
Joey: I didnt tell him. I didnt know if you were telling people. This is back when I thought Kash was still people.
Joey: Well, the tough thing is, she really wants to have sex with me.
Rachel: Ross, those things go like 40 miles an hour! Ok? When you're... and there is that moment when you are at the top, when you just don't know if you're gonna return back to earth!
[Scene: Lydia's Room, Joey is helping her deliver.]
Phoebe: So you do know who he is! (laughs, Ross stares at her) Sorry.
Ross: Okay, maybe this is so hard, because there aren't 50 states. Let me tell you something, I have 49 states, and there are no more! I-I think, I should be able to eat something.
Ross: Oh, okay, yknow what this is? This is a difference of opinion. And when that happens in a marriage...
[Time lapse. Melanie, Joey's girlfriend, is there with Joey, Chandler, Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel. Ross is gone.]
Lowell: Speaking for my people, I'd have to say no. By the way, your friend Brian from Payroll, he is.
Rachel: Are you joking? Check out is not til noon and he has a good (checks her watch) eleven minutes left.
Rachel: (Into microphone) Central Perk is proud to present Miss Phoebe Buffay.
(It's only when the camera cuts to Ross's apartment that we see that the TV is turned off and Ross is indeed doing a bit. He then tries to hide his smirk.)
Joey: No way! Mr.Salty is a sailor, all right, he's got to be, like, thetoughest snack there is.
Rachel: OK, I'm guessing this is from...
Melanie: There is a little child inside this man!
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is just getting off of the intercom and turns off the TV which is still in the SAP mode.]
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Monica: Is there? Is there someone else?
Sandy: No, none at all. You need to be happy with whoever is in your home... Although if you don't mind telling me, what was your problem? Maybe it's something I can work on in the future.
Aunt Iris: Is Tony Randall dead?
Monica: No, you can't! Friends hooking up is a bad idea.
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is sitting on the couch alone working on a crossword puzzle. Gunther is there, going into the back room.]
Monica: Oh my God, it was the best funeral ever! I mean, everyone loved the food, and guess what? I even got another funeral for tomorrowthe dead-guy-from-today's best friend. I mean, it is like I am the official caterer for that accident!
Rachel: Who is it?
Monica: Okay. (They both jump up to head for there room, but Monica stops.) But wait, we cant. My Cousin Cassie is in the guest room, were supposed to have lunch.
Monica: I can't believe Emma is still asleep!
Monica: Joey! Why is Janine not coming over for dinner?!
Monica: All right, Rachel's party is in a couple of hours and there's a lot to do. Now, Ross, you got Geller blood, you're in charge of these yahoos!
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Ross: Everyone, this is Julie.
Phoebe: Oh my god. This is huge. This is bigger than huge. This is like, all right, what's bigger than huge?
[Scene: Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Ross is there as Chandler enters.]
ROSS: I don't believe this. I miss, I miss the first time of everything. I missed, what, the first time he rolled over, the first time he crawled. What else did I miss? Has he spoken yet, is he driving, does he have a favorite liquour?
[Scene: Central Perk, the whole gang is there, Ross is telling a story about what happened at work and the rest of the gang are thinking to themselves, denoted by italics.]
Rachel: How is that the silver lining?
Monica: Would you look at her? She is so peaceful.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, (And thats the last time for that line, no more Chandler and Joeys or Monica and Rachels, ever!) Joey and Ross are carrying the last table of Rachels. Rachel follows slowly, but is stopped by Monica.]
[Scene: Joey and Rachel's, Rachel is balancing an aluminum can on her stomach as Ross enters.]