words in movies
Chandler: What did I marry into?
(An 80's Rachel and fat Monica walk into the party room. Both with funny hair-do's and clothes)
(they sit down and Roy plays "You Make Me Feel" by Sylvester on his boom box, and starts... With his back towards the girls, he starts waving his hands, then backs towards the girls slapping his butt, then swings it around, and makes thrusting pelvic movements in front of Phoebe. He dances around the tables in between all the girls, and gets back into the kitchen part of the room. He then tears off one of his sleeves and throws it towards Monica and Rachel, who fight over who gets it. He then tears off his other sleeve and moves it back and forth between his legs, getting closer to Phoebe.)
Chandler: What did I marry into?
(Monica is dancing. At first she seems insecure and moves slowly, but then gets into the groove and swings her hips from side to side while holding her hands up. She then eats the last piece of pizza she was holding and again moves her hips from side to side, pushing her hands in the air in beat with the music. Her moves get more wildly while she's snapping her fingers. She loses balance and falls back onto a pink bean bag.)
Lauren: Oh, yeah! I-I ran into you in the hallway in your building. It was right after I slept with Joey. He dumped me the next day.
(She storms into his apartment to find him with a towel around his shoulders, a bowl on his head, and Phoebe with scissors in her hand.)
Rachel: All right, how about I go over there and I will walk into Chandler's bedroom and I will see that thing that I think that I know is actually the thing that I think that I know! (Note: Kudos to Ms. Aniston on the delivery of that line. She said it very quickly and didn't screw up a word. Try it yourself, it ain't that easy.)
PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]
Joey's Co-Star: Not if we extract tissue from the original host body, synthesize antibodies, and introduce them into your system, which could stop it from rejecting the brain.
[She goes into her apartment and slams the door.]
Rachel: Perfect. Fasten your seatbelts, it's peepee time. (She goes into Joey and Chandler's apartment, where Mr. Tribbiani is reading the paper) Hey, Mr. Trib.
Chandler: I wouldn't read too much into it.
Joey: Its London, baby! All right, the hotels here. (Points to the map.) Wait. No, we wanna go No. I know. (Sets the map down.) Im gonna have to go into the map. (So Joey literally steps into the map.)
(Joey falls backwards into the room)
Rachel: Yeah, sure... (looks outside into the corridor if Joey is there)
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
Joey: (entering) Ross! Get a shot of this. (He's carrying an issue of the USA Today and hands Ross the camera.) Hey babies! These are the headlines on the day you were born! Okay, now girl baby turn away and boy babies (Throws the paper away to reveal a copy of Playpen, which is the TV version of Playboy Magazine.) Check it out, huh?! This is what naked women looked like the month you were born. All right, now let's dive right into the good stuff. (Joey opens the magazine and Ross sticks the camera in it.)
(Phoebe has heard them arguing and comes down the hall, taking them into a broom closet.)
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
Monica: (running back into the room) Kiss him, you fool!!
DR. BURKE: Yeah, that's my job. Alright, look up. . . look down, now open your eyes, now look down. That's right, look into the light. Now look at me. . . OK. Your eyes look good. Those are good eyes.
Chandler: Oh hey. Id shake your hand but uh; Im really into the game. Plus, I think itd be better for my ego if we didnt stand right next to each other.
Rachel: Oh, I have to pee. If I dont come out in five minutes its because Ive choked to death on the potpourri stink. (Goes into the bathroom.)
Monica: How about, youre moving!! (Grabs a bunch of clothes and throws them into a box. What follows is a brief sequence of Rachel unpacking and Monica packing the same stuff over and over again as Rachel chants "No." and Monica chants "Yes.")
Ross: What?! It is?! (He tries to quickly remove his gloves, but runs into trouble and finally throws them off of his hands like a hockey player in a fight and grabs Rachels belly.)
Ross: Hey, maybe I can fix that, you know. Try to turn it into something else. (he opens the box)
Rachel: Okay. (they both look into the camera, and Ross waves.) Hi Emma. Well, your first birthday is over, and it was really...
Chandler: C'mon, we're roommates! (He goes into the bathroom, screams, and runs back out.) My eyes!! My eyes!!
Chandler: So, it's a typical day at work. I'm inputting my numbers, and big Al calls me into his office and tells me he wants to make me processing supervisor.
[Scene: Chandler walks into Joey's apartment]
(Completely undone by Monica's verbal destruction, Rachel almost loses her balance as she staggers backwards, eyes agog, gasping for breath, and literally not knowing which way to turn. Finally, she escapes into the bathroom while a resigned Dr. Mitchell looks philosophically at Dr. Rosen who seems about remind him of the good old days at the pagan altar.)
Chandler: All my energy is going into not asking that question. I cant believe I screwed this up!
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
ROSS: Monica, Monica, your guest are turning into jerky, OK.
Ross: (concluding his speech)... in a very real way we can bring the Mesozoic era into the 21st century. (pauses) Thank you!
Rachel: Well I just came...(She touches him near his heart. Shes almost in tears.) I just needed to tell you...(Looking into his eyes. She takes a deep breath.) Congratulations. (He hugs her. She can barely hold back the tears.)
Rachel: (looking into one of her shopping bags) Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing.
[Scene: Ross walks into Central Perk, wearing a pink and white ladies shirt. Joey is on the couch]
Monica: You are so handsome! I wanna make love to you right here, right now! (Growls and pulls him into a kiss.)
Phoebe: Well, Im going to the dentist, so listen, okay, just be on the look out for anything that, that, that you can fall into, or, or that can fall on you, or... All right, just look out! Okay, And um, I also just wanna, I just wanna tell you all that um...... (starts to cry and runs out)
Chandler: Daddy. All right look, heres the story. (Flashback to Chandler about to enter the steam room as he does the voice-over.) Well, we had just finished playing racquetball and we were gonna take a steam. I walk into the steam room and it was really steamy. (The flashback shows his glasses fog up and him trying to find his way around the steam filled room. He takes off his glasses.) So I take off my glasses and thats when in happened.
RACHEL: Now I'm mommy in this little play? Alright look, I refuse to get sucked into this like, weird little Geller dimension thing OK. So I'm gonna go and take a nice long hot bubble bath because you kids are driving me crazy. [goes in the bathroom]
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
(He goes into another room to get his projector and notes. While hes gone, Jill quickly checks her makeup.
[Scene: Phoebe's apartment. She is packing a few tings into boxes.]
(The waitress lets her in as Monica is about to throw a lobster into a pot of boiling water (Although, she hasnt taken off the rubber bands that hold the claws, so she cant be that good of a chef). Anyway, guess who the Colonel is by the following phrase.)
(She goes to look out the window at Rosss apartment and sees Jill staring at her and closing the drapes with an evil look on her face. Rachel is stunned into silence.)
(Monica closes the door and slowly walks into Rachel’s old and now empty room.)
Phoebe: Well, I'm sorry but it's hard to believe that anyone would tell a story that dull just to tell it! (looking outside) See, there's something going on with them. Look, he's getting into the car with her!
Chandler: Hey! (He quickly tries to hide the book by throwing it under the couch, only the couch has no back and it slides into the kitchen.)
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Monica: (she enters with a headset on and she's speaking into the microphone) Well, it matters to me!
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Phoebe: (looking into the trash can) Sure. (Reaching into the trash can.) Do you need some floss? (Grabs a piece of it.)
(The chain breaks loose from the wall, and because Joey was pushing with all his might, he propells into the kitchen, towards the table with all the food. This table has wheels underneath it, and when Joey falls on this table, he rides into the living room, with all the food falling off, until finally Joey also falls off... Joey gets up quickly, a bit agitated, and acting as nothing happened. He is covered in food stains.)
Will: God we were lame back then. Do you remember how into dinosaurs we were?
Monica: (Pulls Laura into the spare room) Why don't I show you the baby's room?
[Scene: Ross and his date walk into a lobby. They are both wearing their jackets]
Ross: We ran into him on the street today and he said he might have a job for her. But I know he just wants to get into her pants.
Monica: Okay, I umm, I ran into Richard yesterday and he asked me if I wanted to go for a bite and I did. The only reason I didn't tell you is because I knew you'd get mad and I didn't want to spoil our anniversary.
Chandler: And yet I never run into Beyonce!
(He takes her into one of those typical interrogation rooms you see on TV and in the movies. Which is really appropriate here, since this is a TV show. What are the odds of that?)
[Scene: Green's mansion. Rachel's Room. Rachel's is combing her hair; Ross's coming into the room]
Joey: Yeah, Erica went into labor last night. Monica and Chandler are at the hospital right now!
Phoebe: Oh, you're so screwed. (Monica goes into the guest room)
Joey: Well thats true. And I am only naked in one scene. Plus it sounds really great. My characters catholic and he falls in love with this Jewish girl. Who run away together and they get caught in this big rainstorm. So we go into this barn and undress each other and hold each other. Its really sweet and-and tender.
Rachel: Ill take all of your photos and put them into photo albums!
Rachel: Gone! I mean its amazing Pheebs. I feel so free and so graceful. (Turns and bumps into a mounted policeman and falls) Hey! Look out for the horse! Sorry! (Runs off.)
(Joey thinks a moment. Then, he nods.� Joey follows Chandler into the apartment.)
Chandler: (stopping him from going any further) Before you say anything, have we got a story for you! Guess who we bumped into at dinner!
Joey: Uh-uh nothing. I-I-I-I didn't want you to touch me cause I'm -I'm all sweaty from the workout. I better hit the shower. (Goes into the bathroom and comes back out quickly) Oh my God!
JOEY: Angela? Joey Tribiani. Listen, what are ya doing tonight. I know your seeing that guy I was thinking maybe you could bring him.....Hello? Hello? (picks up a statue of an Indian and walks into his room)
(He walks dejectedly into his apartment to find it lit with about a thousand candles and Monica standing in the living room.)
Luisa: (Out of shot) Here, monkey. Here, monkey! Here, monkey! (Marcel runs to the door and into Luisa's cage, which she slams shut) Gotcha.
Ross: Oh, thanks Gunther. (He takes it, hands the plate it's on to Rachel, sets it down on the table, and proceeds to pound it into oblivion while saying.) STUPID BRITISH SNACK FOOD!!!!!!!
[Scene: Chandler's job, Chandler is typing data into his computer, he keeps typing even while taking a drink of coffee with one hand. One of his co-workers walks by.]
Chandler: Oh-ho-ho-ho-no! No! No switching! No sharing, and dont come crying to me! Ha-ha-ha! I may just sit here and have my cake all day! Just sit here in the hallway and eat my (Rachel knocks the plate from his hand and it falls on the floor. That process leaves just the forkful Chandler has, Rachel starts to go after that little bit and Chandler retreats into his apartment.)
Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.
Ross: At least I know she's not going out with me to get into R rated movies.
(She goes into her bedroom, and sees Richard who has covered the room in roses and has two glasses of wine and a rose between his lips.)
(A nurse shows another couple into the room.)
Ross: Yeah, guess so. Whew! Check these out! (Hes looking at the stirrups on the other bed in the room and Rachel groans. Ross then hops into the bed and puts his legs into the stirrups.) Never done this before.
Phoebe: Well, maybe she didn't hear! Ok I'm gonna go into that dressing room, you stay in here and I'll talk and see if you can hear me.
Ross: (pushing Elizabeth into a doorway) Burt!
Monica: Phoebe! Rachel! Its Monica! I wonder what you could possibly need me for on such short notice! (She bursts into the apartment to find only Phoebe and Rachel sitting on the couch.) Oh.
Ross: Smooth man. Yeah, you got some chilie on your neck. (Chandler checks and runs into the bathroom.) Well, I just want to say, thanks everyone, this-this was great. And hey! See you guys Monday morning. (They museum geeks wave at him.) Thanks Joey.
Rachel: Oh, and then, we got into this big, stupid fight. I just, it was awful. I told him he treats me like a park ranger, or something, oh and then I told him I wanted to take a break, I dont want to take a break.
Monica: (running over to stop Rachel) Hey Rach, the tampons here are only a penny. Lets stock up. (takes her into the bathroom)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey is watching Quincy M.E. as Chandler is walking into the living room from his bedroom.]
Monica: Oh my God, I wrecked your baby!! (runs into the bedroom)
Rachel: Ohh, yeah, well I wanted to give Emily a big American good-bye cheer. So okay! (Runs into the living room) Ready! Okay! Gimme an E!
[And with that we go into the save the budget portion of the show, which features flashbacks from previous episodes. The first set of auditions feature high lights or low lights of Joeys acting career. The first flashback is from The One With The Lesbian Wedding.]
(The ladder retracts, taking Joey up into the spaceship for his voyage to Blargon 7.)
Rachel: (scoffs at him) Yeah, thats gonna get you into Soap Opera Digest. Well I (leans into the microphone again) I would just like to say that Joey truly has enriched the days of our lives.
Gary Collins: Welcome back to our fall telethon. Now if you've been enjoying the performance of Cirque Du Soleil, (As he is speaking, Joey and the volunteer getting into a shoving match.) and you'd like to see more of the same kind of programming, it's very simple. All you have to do (Joey is knocked down.) is call in your pledge and at that time tell the operator, one of our volunteers, what kind of programming you'd like to (Just as the volunteer sits down, Joey pulls him to the ground.)
Rachel: Okay, um, I...(Phoebe walks into her room.) All right Phoebe look, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. OK? I handled the situation horribly and I should not have lied to you.
Monica: Okay, I've broken them down into categories. Okay, we have uh, we got holidays, birthdays, candids, y'know And then what I've done is I've cross-referenced them by subject. Right? So if you're looking up, oh let's say birthdays and dogs, you get Photo 152. See? (Hands her the photo.)
Rachel: And uh, yeah, I didnt really, I didnt want to say anything, but it kinda it just, it kinda kept coming back to me, and umm, remember we were in the casino and for some reason thought it would be funny to eat a lot of grapes. And uh, and I thought it would be funnier if we got married. So as a, as a compromise we decided first to get married, and then (Ross joins in) to eat a lot of grapes. So umm, sorry I got us into this mess.
[Gunther slips and falls just before reaching the back of the couch. Monica and Phoebe come into Central Perk.]
Ross: You entered Emma into a Beauty Pageant?
Mrs. Burkart: (in grief) Jack used to handle the finances! (Breaks into tears)
Glenda: Now, let me explain how this works. You go into the booth, and...
Paul: Sure you did! You came in, you got all awkward, and you ran into the bedroom. You were shouting, "Joey! Joey!" Bye Rach. (Kisses her.)