words in movies
Chandler: Do you think that theres a town in Missouri or some place called Sample? And ah, as youre driving into town theres-theres like a sign, and it says Youre in Sample. (He says it like urine sample.)
(The gang is now eaves dropping in on the conversation, and is shocked.)
Billy: Like when you go bowling and you know youre in somebody elses shoes?
Chandler: Yeah, its two guys in a ring, and the rules are: Theyre are no rules.
Ross: Huh, whats fish hooking... (Joey sticks his finger in Rosss mouth and pulls on his cheek, y'know like when you hook a fish.) (to Joey, sarcastic) Thanks man, that would have been really hard to describe. What is that taste?
Doug: So thanks for the warm welcome. Its good to have you guys on my team, and I come to play. I hope you do too. Now, lets go out there and get em! Huh? And remember, there is no I in team.
Chandler: Yes, but theres two in martini, soo everybody back to my office.
(Ross throws his hands out in a What are you doing? gesture)
Chandler: Yeah, I know, for a really great stew you just y'know, stick your head in between em.
Pete: Oh, believe me, I dont want to get hurt either. Im being smart about this. See these guys? Theyre the best trainers in the world, and Hoshi here used to be a paid assassin. (Hoshi yells at him in Chinese) A house painter! He used to be a house painter.
Rachel: (looks in the window) Ohh, well, this is just perfect!
Stevens: Im telling you, I need some smacks. I got a kid starting Dartmouth in the fall.
Announcer: From New York City, New York! Appearing in his Ultimate Fighting Championship debut! Hes known for his confrontational business style. Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing Pete Beck-errrr!!
Ross: Well, then that guy is in serious, serious trouble.
(Tank carries Pete over to the other side of the ring, and we see both Ross and Monica wince in pain.)
Pete: Let me tell you a story. When I set out to create Moss 865, do you think it just happened overnight? No. There was Moss 1, that burnt down my Dads garage, there was Moss 2 that would only schedule appointments in January, and 862 others that I learned from, just like I learned from this fight, never to let a guy stand on my neck.
Phoebe: Yeah, y'know what, there are other fish in the sea.
Ross: Okay, well be right in. (to Chandler) So ah, did your boss try to slap you again today?
(Chandler, Ross, and Phoebe all stop dead in their tracks at the news.)
Chandler: Ahhhhh! (walks out, imitating shooting himself in the head)
Phoebe: Okay. Would you rather live in the shirt pocket of a sweaty giant, or inside his shower drain?
Phoebe: (looking in the window) Right, oh yeah. Wow, oh, it looks like Ross is breaking up with her. Uff, I hope he lets her down easy. Lets go.
Rachel: Phoebe, we cant, we just cant just let it happen! Okay, we have to do something! We have to break them up! Okay? Just go in there and like, shave her head! You owe me one bald girl!!
[Scene: A locker room, Pete is in a full upper-body cast. Monica enters, sees him, and gasps. Pete tries to turn around, and winces in pain.]
Pete: Y'know I have a torn rotator cuff, a hairline fracture in my right forearm, and a severely bruised Adams Apple, but that really hurt.
Doug: So, in conclusion, the lines all go up (points to the chart), so Im happy. Great job team! Tomorrow at 8:30. (They start to leave) Phil! Nice job. (smacks him on the butt) Stevens! Way to go! (smacks him on the butt) Joel-burg, you maniac! I love ya! (smacks him on the butt) (Chandler walks up) Bing! Good job, couldnt have done it without ya. (he shakes his hand)
Stevens: (coming back in) Oh, excuse me. I forgot my briefcase y'know, by accident.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, the gang is watching Pete fight on TV. Monica is hiding in the kitchen, not watching.]
All: Oh! Oh! (they all recoil in horror)
Ross: Look, would you guys grow up? That is the most natural beautiful thing in the world.
[They rush to put the cream and sugar in their cups and gulp down a few drinks]
Phoebe: Monica, she will kill you. She will kill you like a dog in the street.
Dr. Franzblau: It really was. There was this great little pastry shop right by my hotel. (Carol sits up in pain, Rachel and Dr. Franzblau casually lay her back down) There you go, dear.
Rachel: Even when we were having sex in that chair?
Phoebe: Hey!! Get your ass back here, Tribbiani!! (Joey walks back in, scared.)
[Scene: The hospital, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are in the waiting room, waiting for Carol and Susan to arrive.]
(Monica and Phoebe get up and start celebrating in the kitchen, pouring wine and singing. Rachel, shocked, goes to join them.)
Rachel: Oh, so you just sort of happened to leave it in here?
Rachel: And sorta just put the receipt back in your pocket?
JULIE: You know, in some cultures having a third nipple is actually a sign of virility. You get the best huts and women dance naked around you.
Janice: Oh! Someone's a little cranky today cuz they have to do it in a cup! (laughs) Oh! They gave you the kiddy size (looking at the cup in his hand).
Joey: Leetch spots Messier in the crease- there's the pass! (He kicks it to Ross, but Ross is staring into a shop window.)
Mrs. Waltham: (Throws her head back in disgust.) Why?!
[Scene: Carol's Room, she is ready to give birth. Everyone is there except for Phoebe, Ross, and Susan, who are in the broom closet.]
Mike: Oh, sorry. (He digs in again and finally finds what he's been looking for. A key.)
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
ROSS: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What, you don't, uh, you don't believe in evolution?
ROSS: You don't believe in evolution?
[Scene: The beach house, Joey and Chandler are sitting at the dinner table, Monica is looking in the fridge.]
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
(Joey turns around and sees his face on a poster in the subway. The poster says: What Mario isn't telling you...V.D., you never know who might have it. A variety of scenes are shown with the poster displayed all over New York City.)
PHOEBE: Look, can't we just say that you believe in something, and I don't.
Phoebe: I gotta call him. Just to talk to him, there's no harm in that.
Ross: Well maybe it's cold in there. Or maybe I screwed up the first date I had in 9 years.
Chandler: I got a good one, I got a good one! I once walked in on both my parents making love to the same guy.
CHANDLER: In a bad way?
[Scene: Bloomingdales, Rachel is sitting at her desk as Mr. Waltham comes in.]
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
Chandler: Oh, you do? Because she said you guys havent talked in like years.
Mona: Joey cracks me up! Its like, Yeah, why dont you have your ex-wife move in with you? That wouldnt be awkward at all! (she laughs again)
[Scene: A counter at a government building. Phoebe's waiting in line.]
Chandler: So what the hell happened to you in China? I mean, when last we left you, you were totally in love with, you know.
CHANDLER: Joey was in a porno movie.
Joey: You can come in, but your filter-tipped little buddy has to stay outside!
[Rachel is still cleaning, Ross is laying on the couch. Ross kicks Rachel in the butt.]
Joey: Hey Gunther, dont let that guy in here anymore! He just said Phoebes a porn star!
RACHEL: Oh yeah. In fact you know what I'd do?
RACHEL: No, no, no, no I don't think it's weird, I think, I think umm, in fact, in fact you know what I think?
Rachel: Really? Just casually strewn about in that reckless haphazard manner?
ROSS: Pop it in.
CHANDLER: What's this in my pocket? Why it's Joey's porno movie.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
...My mother's ashes Even her eyelashes Are resting in a little yellow jar, And sometimes when it's breezy...
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
MONICA: You know, it still smells like monkey in there.
Ross: No! No, you know what? (closes the door) You [can�t get in there] (?), the baby�s fine, now squam (?). Yeah, [I told you a|Tell your] story walking. (?)
Lizzie: What? (She opens the envelope Phoebe has given her.) Oh my God, there's really money in here.
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
Phoebe: Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!! So I-I mean so in a few months Im going to have three full grown babies just walkin around inside me?! Oh! Oh! And its gonna be one of those log rides where they just come shooting out!
Lecturer: ....oversized bracelets, oversized earrings, oversizing of accessories in general are very popular now.
JULIE: Well, in a nutshell. . .
Chandler: Well, I'm gonna go home and bask in the triumph of my Central Park idea. (Gets up to leave.)
Ross: (in his head) Shes your cousin. Shes your cousin! If she knew what was going on in your head shed think you were sick! (She grabs some popcorn.) Or would she? Lets back up a second. She was the one who suggested opening a bottle of wine. She was the one who turned down the lights. She was the one that wanted to rent Logans Run, the sexiest movie ever. (She grabs the blanket from behind him and looks at him.) Oh, I know that look. Forget it. I want it. She wants it. Im going in.
[Outside in the hallway, Chandler, Joey, and Monica exit]
DR. BURKE: No no. Henry's almost two and he's talking and everyting. Here. You know, the other day he told me he liked me better than his other grandpa. Now in all fairness his other grandpa's a drunk but still. . .
Joey: In a carriage!
Ross: Hey-hey have you ever locked yourself in a TV cabinet VD boy?!
[The next one is from Episode 417: The One With The Free Porn, Chandler and Joey are lamenting the fact that every beautiful woman they see doesnt want to have sex right then and there like in porn.]
Monica: Im with you Chandler! I mean I cant have sex with a sick person either, thats disgusting! But Im not sick! Let me prove it to you. We are two healthy people in the pribe of libe.
Phoebe: you know maybe this is a wake up call, about your whole dating attitude. Your in your thirty's and you've never had a serious relationship and you have never been in a long term relationship, here you go from woman to woman, meaningless experience to meaningless experience never even worrying that it doesn't tern into anything serious.
Rachel: Oh-oh-oh, symbolism! And uh, the-the uh, wildness of the mores, which I think is-is mirrored in the wildness of Heathcliff's character.
Phoebe: Wait, wait, wait, wait! (Runs over and joins in on the hug again.)
RACH: Well. [looks at watch] Woah, look at that! I gotta go, I gotta date. With a man. Um, OK, you guys have a really, uh, have a really good night and you two have a, uh, have a, uh, really good cat. [she leaves carrying her tray then comes back in] OK, we're not supposed to take these when we leave.
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's Apartment, Monica is cleaning up, Chandler is sitting on the couch, checking the Job offers in a Newspaper.]
Monica: Do you realize this is probably the last time well all be here in the coffee house as six single people?
Joey: What's he doin' in my section?
[Scene: Central Perk, everyone is there. Ross working on crossword puzzle, starts humming theme from The Odd Couple. Chandler joins in, followed by Monica and Phoebe, then the whole gang. Ross starts humming theme from I Dream Of Jeannie.]
Rachel: Dont say that I have no sentiment! (Starts to show Ross whats in the box.) This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! (Holds up a bone) This is from the museum from the first time we were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!
Phoebe: Well, yeah! Fun is good, but y'know I also wanted to learn. Y'know, people are always talking about what they learned in high school and I never went to high school.
Phoebe: Hey, you should really read that book you wrote. (To Larry) Wow! You saw the hat in the kitchen and knew that she'd have to go in there hatless to get it. You can have your own health inspector detective show!
Joey: Don't you remember when we were jogging in the park and we saw that really pretty bird and wanted to take a pictureI didn't have my camera!
MONICA: Hey, Rache. You know what we haven't played in a while?
Mike's dad: (leans in towards Mike) I crushed a pill and put it in her drink... (to his wife) Come on, sweetheart.
Phoebe: Okay thats even sadder. Look, I know, I know what I got myself into, its just that now that theyre in me its like, its like I know them yknow, I mean-I mean, its just not gonna be easy when these little babies have to go away.
Phoebe: Well, yknow I may have relatives in France who would know. My grandmother said she got the recipe from her grandmother, Nesele Tolouse.
Ross: All right, all right, it's just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything's kinda pink.
JOEY: Oh, what about that thing he did when he tipped the guy who showed us to our seats. You never even saw the money, it was like this. [With money in his palm] Hey Chandler, thanks for showing us to our seats [shakes his had and passes the dollar].
Ross: Wha? No no! Ah! (Ross scarfs all of his trifle down in about a second. He looks like hes going to throw up.) (Lying) All gone! So good! Maybe Chandler has some left.
Rachel: Ok. (Phoebe starts to walk in the opposite direction though. Rachel sees and follows her) Wha...? where? Where are you going?
MNCA: [to Chandler] Yo, Bing. Racquetball in 15 minutes.
Ross: Hey, youre not going to believe this. I made up a joke and sent it in to Playboy. They printed it!
Chandler: 99...100! Ready or not, here I come! (He opens his eyes and sees that the chick and the duck are still sitting in front of him) All right, let's go over the concept one more time.
Rachel: (as Monica) And by the way, have I mentioned that back in high school, I was a cow?
Phoebe: There you go! (She continues to work him over with her elbows and he continues to yell in pain.)
Mr. Douglas: Ohh, its been better. The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
Mr. Tribbiani: Oh! ...Hello, dear. (She whips the curtain shut in horror)
Ross: Ah, well, in here, anyone who... stands erect... So what's new? Still, uh...
RACHEL: Yeah, I mean, you know it, I mean, if it were me I, I, you know, I'd want you to, I don't know, like catch me off guard, you know, with like a really good kiss, you know really, sort of um, soft at first, then maybe um brush the hair away from my face, and look far into my eyes in a way that let's me know that something amazing is about to happen.
Mr. Tribbiani: Joe, your dad's in love big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
Chandler: Eight and a half hours of aptitude tests, intelligence tests, personality tests... and what do I learn? (he taps the results and reads them) "You are ideally suited for a career in data processing for a large multinational corporation."
Rachel: (running from the guy's apartment with Joey in tow) Hey, what's-what's going on?!
(Angela, a beautiful woman in a tight dress, enters.)
Joey: Oh comelook, when I was a kid my dads company gave season tickets to the number one salesman every year, all right? My dad never won! Of course, he wasnt in the sales division, but still, I never ever, ever forgot that!
Ross: I cannot sleep in a public place.
(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)
(Rachel, Monica, Ross and Chandler whip around for a second time, in formation.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay fine, yknow what? We will let Ross and Joey decide. (Ross enters.) (In a sexy voice.) Hiiiii, Ross! Sweetie.
Phoebe: No, you don't! She's going to Paris! She is going to meet somebody. Do you know how many hot guys there are in Paris? It's... It's a city of Gunthers!
RACH: No, actually first they started on my waist. And then, they slid up, and then, they were in my hair.