words in movies
Monica: Well it wasnt my fault, Phoebe was in charge of the invitations!
Monica: Go! I have it in my book. Go! (Rachel leaves and Monica calls Mrs. Green.) (To Phoebe) Wait a minute! If youre in charge of the invitations why am I the one who has to call herHello Mrs. Green! Hi, its Monica Geller.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, and if I get it by day Ill (In a sexy voice) Dr. Drake Remoray, but by night Ill be (In an announcers voice) Joey Trrrribbiani!
Joey: But the auditions in a couple hours and I dont even understand the game.
Ross: Well uh, I-Im a paleontologist. Umm, I-I live in New York. I have a son Ben. Uh, hi Ben! (Waves.) And uh
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's, Rachels baby shower is underway. Monica and Phoebe are working in the kitchen.]
Mrs. Green: Look at that face! Just like when you were in high school! If I didnt know better Id say you were a cheerleader in trouble. Come on, lets get some tea.
Mrs. Green: Oh, Im so happy Im gonna do this for my little girl. Aw, look at you. You have tears in your eyes.
Joey: All right Ross youre in the lead, would you like to take another question or spin the Wheel of Mayhem?
Rachel: She wants to move in with me and Ross to help take care of the baby.
Phoebe: Well, if you dont want your mother to move in with you, just tell her.
Rachel: Youre right. Youre right. I mean Im about to have a baby, I can tell my mother that I dont want her to just be sleeping on my couch! Oh my God! Shes gonna want to sleep in my bed with me. This cannot happen!
Monica: (To Phoebe) This is great! Now shes gonna be mad at Rachel! Yknow what? And Im just gonna swoop in there and be like the daughter she never had.
Monica: Yes! Yes! And I think that the first gift that Rachel opens should be from the grandmother of the baby, because youre the most important person in this room. And in the world!
Rachel: Well thats gross, why dont you just take it outside and throw it in a dumpster?
Joey: (To Chandler) In what John Houston film would you hear this line, "Badges? We dont need no stinkin badges!"
Joey: Yes! Yes, youre back in the lead!
Rachel: Oh mom, I swear Im not an idiot. Ive read all kinds of books on pregnancy and giving birth, but I-I just didnt think to read the part about what to do when the baby comes. And-and then guess what? The babys coming and I dont know what to do. Oh, can I throw up in my diaper genie?
Mrs. Green: Now dont worry! Everythings gonna be okay. (Hugs Rachel while she is standing and Rachel is sitting, seeing this Monica decides to join in on the hugging by hugging Mrs. Green from behind her back.)
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
[Scene: Joeys Audition, Joey is being shown in.]
Joey: (to the camera) Hello, Im Joey Tribbiani! Lets play Bamboozled! Erin, you get the first question! In hockey, who is known as The Great One?
Joey: Well whats complicated? You spin the Wheel of Mayhem to go up the Ladder of Chance. You go past the Mud Hut through the Rainbow Ring to get to the Golden Monkey; you yank his tail and boom! Youre in Paradise Pond!
Ray: Well, therell be women in bikinis holding up the scores.
Mrs. Green: and all those dinosaur nick-knacks you have Ross, I thought they might be more at home in the garage.
Monica: Okay! I will! Mrs. Green? Mrs. Green! (She ignores Monica and Monica follows her out into the hall with Phoebe in tow.) It is rude to leave a party without saying good-bye to the host! Yeah, and-and also when someone apologizes to you the decent thing to do is to accept it! Now what I did to you, it wasnt on purpose! But what youre during to me now is just plain spiteful!
Ross: All right then. (Gets up, in an announcers voice) Rachel Green! Lets play Bamboozled! (Reading from a note card.) How do you test the temperature of the babys bath water?
Rachel: Uh, put your elbow in it.
MRS. GREENE: Oh, I missed you kids. Well, should I put my coat in the bedroom?
[Scene: Later on in the hallway between the apartments. Chandler is showing people to the parties.]
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
Joey: In Bizarro World!! You broke the code!
Bitsy: She actually makes me miss that pill-popping ex-wife of his. (Mike walks in) Oh, hello dear...
[Back in Chandler and Joey's party]
[Back in Monica's party]
[Back in Monica's party]
Monica: Yknow, in my defense, umm there was no glitter on the macaroni and very little glue.
[Scene: The Department Store, Joey and the Hombre man are facing off in Joey's section.]
Monica: Okay! Okay! We can take a hint! (They start to leave but run into Phoebe with her guy in tow.) (To Phoebe) What are you doing here?!
RACHEL: Oh, what a load of crap. That is a dot. Your mother is up in heaven going, 'Where the hell is my lily, you wuss?' OK, Phoebe, that is not a tattoo, this is a tattoo. [she bends over and bears her tattoo right when Ross returns]
Monica: Okay, we're gonna start in the kitchen. Plates get put into plate protectors and stacked ten to a box. The silverware gets bundled in rubber bands and then bubble wrapped. Got it?
JOEY: Closed set. We know but we're friends with the monkey. [guard lets them in]
Phoebe: Come, sit. (He's hesitant.) Sit. (Still hesitating.) Sit! (He sits on the arm of the couch.) Umm, all righty, before we get started I justI need you to state for the official record that you are in fact Frank Buffay.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
Carol: I cant speak for Emily, but Susan is in a loving, committed relationship.
JOEY: Oh, I'm gettin' heat from the guy in the hot pink thong.
Phoebe: (in her head) Say something! Say anything! Ask her out! Shes not your cousin!
JANITOR: Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
[they both pour in packets of cappucino mix]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Joey and Chandler have trading the entertainment center for the canoe. Joey is sitting in the bow, staring off into space as to envision his future full of possibilities. Chandler is sitting at the stern, staring into space and is looking at an uncertain future.]
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
Joey: I'm gonna do it. (He downs the juice in one swig again.)
Priest on TV: We are gathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles, Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony.
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Monica and Richard are in her bedroom.]
Monica: Because hell know what to do? (Rachel comes out of her room with a bear thats dressed in a rain suit.) Oh my God, youre a genius!
Frank Jr.: Alright, alright, alright. Remember what we talked about. When we're in a public place, there are certain rules.
PHOEBE: Come in.
Joey: A little more, a little more. (she stuffs some more down his pants and Joey's assesses the how many there already are in there.) A little more... All right. Okay, all right, let's do this.
Ross: (to the guard) Dont sweat it, Ive got this section covered. Yeah, in fact Ive got this little baby (Turns on a mini-flashlight) to shine in peoples eye(The guard walks away)Okay, see you later.
PHOEBE: Ya know, in all the years that we have been grandmother and granddaughter, you have never lied to me.
Phoebe: Well, he was a he in Arthur, and in Ten.
Chandler: I like it in the stern. (Realizes what he just said.) of the boat. (The phone rings, and he answers it.) (on phone) Hello.
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's apartment. Joey is making marinara sauce and filling every container in sight. Chandler enters.]
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
[Later, Phoebe is on the phone, theyre all still trapped in Monicas bedroom.]
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Chandler: She's not gonna care if I put her stuff back in the same stupid place.
(Chandler starts to leave ashamed of himself, but Rachel stops him in the hallway.)
ROSS: Is this what you had in mind?
[Scene: Central Perk. Rachel is closing. Ross walks in in a uniform.]
CHANDLER: Yeah, Ross can't go so it's between my friend Eric Prower who has breath issues and Dan with the poking. [starts poking Monica in the shoulder] 'Did you see that play? Do you want some more beer? Is that Spike Lee?'
RACHEL: Phoebe, I thought your dad was in prison.
Chandler: (in accent) Oh, just a bit of shopping. How've you been?
TRAINER: In human terms, I'd say Cybill Shepard.
Dr. Miller: Okay. You've got a small, minor infection in that left eye. I want you to take these drops three times a day and you'll be as good as new.
Mike: Great! Come on in! (Mike kisses her on the cheek. A butler walks in and takes Phoebe's coat.)
RICHARD: Honey, you are in it.
MONICA: Yeah, am I in it?
(Now Joey also wants to listen, and wants to press his ears against the door, which has a big mirror on it, he hesitates seeing himself in the mirror, but still puts his ear against it. We move again to Rachel's room.)
MRS. GELLER: So Jack, you ever think about trading me in for a younger model?
Ross: You know, sometimes when I'm alone in my apartment, I look over here and you guys... are just having dinner or... watching TV or something, but... it makes me feel better. And now when I look over, who am I gonna see? The Gottliebs, the Yangs? They don't make me feel so good. (Joey pats Ross on his back)
[The video is a very dramatic episode with an obviously dubbed voice for Phoebe. Everyone watches in disbeliefe]
Ross: (chasing her, trying to zip up his pants. His got them on right now.) No, wait! Emily! No, wait, stop! Emily, please(He catches something important in the zipper and howls like a little boy and falls to the floor.)
Chandler: Well, maybe you can get in on a beauty scholarship.
Mike: I haven't been home in a couple of days and I need to get some more clothes.
Rachel: Oh! I see. And I've sort of been maintaining my amateur status so that I can waitress in the Olympics.
Rachel: But you have it right there in that file? You could tell us whether its a boy or a girl? Dayton or Sandrine? Phoebe or Phoebo?
(He starts the car and surprisingly in fires right up and comes to a nice idle. (Both can be rarities with British sports cars with their lovely Lucas ignition systems, which tend not to work especially in the rain.) Anyway, this being New York he is parallel parked on a street with the car in front of him only inches ahead of his bumper, likewise with the car behind him. Hes completely boxed in and cant move more than two inches. He tries to get out several times by bumping the bumpers of both cars to no avail.)
PHOEBE: She wants to meet you in person.
[Later, Ross and Rachel are sitting in the kitchen.]
[Cut to a hospital room set on the Days of Our Lives stage. Two nurses are standing next to a bed with a man whose face is completely covered in bandages and reading his chart.]
Chandler: (sarcastically) Yes were all in here and we would love for you to join us!
RACHEL: (to Ross) She you in the parking lot.
Monica: Okay, ooh, alright. Name, address... Okay, in case of emergency, call?
PHOEBE: Alright, so, what, he's not a famous tree surgeon? And then, I guess, OK, he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones?
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
MONICA: Well, I just think the baby would keep falling off the dog. Do you, uh, do you , do you not see kids in our future.
Rachel: No, it's been three nights in a row.
Ross: Hey, can I, can I get in on that? Because Im kinda hungry myself.
Chandler: If you wanna give Joey a Christmas present that disrupts the entire building, why not get him something a little bit more subtle, like a wrecking ball, or a vile of small pox to release in the hallway?
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's apartment. Richard and Monica are in bed.]
ROSS: What? Let me see. [climbs up in the other adjoining stall]
MR. GELLER: A woman in my office is a lesiban. I'm just saying.
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
Rachel: You remember not having sex in high school, right?
Joey: Yeah, but it's not gonna last. She's too much for me in bed. Sexually.
Joanna: Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait!! If youre gonna get all sensitive about it! I dont want to lose you. What if I, create a position for you? Ill make you an assistant buyer in this department.
PHOEBE: Not especially. But you know what, I think they had pot in them.
Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right there in the sauce?
JOEY: [peeks back out] Ok, now that your coat is safely in the bedr-, [sees that the coast is clear] oh, ok we can come back out in the living room.
Joey: Okay. I'm in.
Joey: Im the lead in Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.!!
Chandler: Okay, you know, you know when your in bed, with a woman.
PHOEBE: Shh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.
Joey: Yeah, I know, I sleep in the next room.
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
Ross: This is unbelievable. I - I have never been so insulted in my life. Now, if you'll wrap up my free crab cakes, I'll be on my way.
Phoebe: Okay, all right, so, your in a meadow, millions of stars in the sky....
Mindy: Oh no, it isn't! No! I think Barry is seeing someone in the city.
Joey: Am I in it?
Rachel: Well, my boss was at the same restaurant where I was having my interview and he heard everything. So later he calls me to his office and he tells me that he's gonna have to let me go, because I'm not a team player. And I said "Wait a minute! Yes I am." and I had to sit there for 45 minutes while he proved that that in fact... was true.
Chandler: You're in my seat.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
[Cut to the hallway, Ben runs upstairs with Ross in pursuit.]
PHOEBE: Oh alright, stop, STOP THE MADNESS. This is crazy. Who can even remember why this even started in the first place?