words in movies
Joey: I can't believe it. When you guys come back, you're gonna have a baby! That is so weird!
Chandler: Yeah. I mean, this girl could decide against adoption or she could like another couple better..
Chandler: I can develop a condition in which I talk and talk and no one hears a word.
Monica: You know, I know that things could still go wrong but if they don't? If this works out, we're gonna have a baby Chandler, a baby!
Joey: Oh, name one friend of yours that I did that with.
Joey: I know why I don't remember her, huh? (he winks at Rachel)
Joey: Ok, I may not have treated your friends well in the past, but I have grown up a lot, really. Honest, Rach?
Rachel: Well, believe it or not, it's true. When Joey and I were together, he was wonderful. He was thoughtful and mature. And for the one week that we went out, he didn't sleep with anybody else!
Joey: Ok, thank you. And I promise you I will not forget this one. (he starts writing on his hand) Mandy.
Ross: Hey you guys, I need some fashion advice.
Rachel: Ross, please, trust me. I buy 30 fashion magazines a month. Now, I don't know who's running for president or who that... NATO guy is, but I do know that you have to get as far away as you can from that hat.
Ross: Damnit! I have this date tomorrow night and I have to look cool!
Phoebe: Well, you know, if you want fashion help, Rachel and I are going shopping tomorrow. You're more than welcome to come with us, right?
Ross: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Joey: I can see why, nice shirt!
Agency guy: Please, make yourself comfortable and I will back in a moment with Erica.
Chandler: Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"
Erica: So, it's Monica and Chandler. I only know you as file 0W33815-D.
Monica: I don't know about that.
Erica: You're kidding me? I mean, it's enough that you are a doctor. But on top of it, you're married to a reverend?
Chandler: (astonished) I don't think that's exactly...
Joey: Oh, really? You know what your great friend did? We're out to dinner, ok? (he starts talking about the date and we can see what happened through a flashback video) We're getting along, having a really nice time. I was thinking she was really cool. And then, out of nowhere...
Phoebe: I’m sorry, I can’t believe I set you up with such a MONSTER!
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey. Look. I take a girl out, she can order whatever she wants! The more, the better! All right? Just don’t order a Garden salad and then eat my food! That’s a good way to lose some fingers!
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
Phoebe: Well, I still think that it’s a stupid reason not to call someone again. You are calling her! And if you need to, just get an extra plate of fries for the table!
Joey: (he thinks a little, considering the option and seems to be quite satisfied) I like that! A sharing buffer! Yeah! I’ll order some extra fries! Maybe a plate of onion rings. Yeah. And a shrimp cocktail. And some buffalo wings. Maybe an individual pizza, uh? And some mozzarella sticks. (he looks absorbed in his food thoughts) What were we talking about?
Ross: You know, we should just go, I’m not gonna find anything here! This stuff is ridiculous!
Ross: Rach, come on, I’m not gonna wear any of this! (he picks up a shirt) Nothing silver. (Rachel sighs). Ok? Nothing with hair! (Rachel sighs again) And nothing with padlocks on it! (Rachel heaves a long disappointing sigh).
Rachel: Ross, look, I know that some of this stuff is out there, but I mean, come on, look at this, look at this sweater! (she picks up a blue sweater). I mean, this is just beautiful!
Ross: All right, that’s it, I’m getting out of here.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Rachel: Yes! And I know what looks sexy on guys. Please, just wear what I suggest, and she’s gonna go nuts for you.
Ross: So, you’re saying, uh, if I wear these pants I might be getting into hers?
Chandler: So, the fact that I am a doctor, and my wife’s a reverend, that’s important to you?
Erica: Yeah, I read some great applications, but then I thought “who better then a minister to raise a child!”
Chandler: Plus I thought the baby would be in good hands with a doctor!
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption?
Erica: I was wondering you both have such serious jobs. (to Monica) Would you have time to take care of a baby and your flock?
Monica: Oh, you know, my flock is good, I mean, yeah, my flock pretty much takes care of themselves at this point. Good flock. Flock, flock, flock.
Erica: We’re great, I think I may have asked all my questions.
Erica: Actually, I don’t think we have to.
Erica: Yeah, when I read about you two, I was pretty sure I wanted you, but I just thought we should meet face to face. (to the agency guy). I've made my decision. I choose them.
Chandler: Yeah, I did.
Phoebe: Yeah, yeah but I am not sure about some of the bra's I got.
Rachel: (looking into one of her shopping bags) Oh no! I took one of Ross' bags by mistake, and one of mine is missing.
Joey: I think were not wearing the same shirt anymore!!
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Joey: (now laughing a little) Dude, I really don't think you should be wearing that.
Ross: Oh, I see, somebody is afraid of a little competition with the ladies?
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
Monica: Well, if you think about it, I am kind of like a Reverend. I mean, as a chef, I serve God, by feeing the hungry and poor. (looks very convinced about what she just said)
Monica: C'mon Chandler, I think we have been given an opportunity. I mean, the mistake has already been made. They are writing up the paper right now.
Chandler: I know..
Monica: I mean, who knows how long it's gonna take for someone else to give us a baby? What if, what if no one ever picks us?
Chandler: Monica, I want a baby too, but this woman is giving away her child. She deserves to know who it's going to. Monica: (realizes Chandler is right. She's almost crying) okay, right. (They hug)
Monica: (sniffing) Maybe she will. Uh! Why couldn't I have been a Reverend?
Joey: oh, I didn't know you liked French fries. Help yourself! What's mine is yours. (Sarah reaches over and takes a few fries)
Joey: I don't like it when people take food off of my plate, okay?
Joey: WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN IT!
Sarah: Fine, I'm sorry, I didn't think it was that big a deal.
Joey: I'm sorry, I'm overreacting. Okay, It's just when it comes to food, I have certain rules, okay, I mean (bends down and with his plate and his hands, scrapes the dropped dinner back onto the plate and puts it back on the table) There are things you do..and you now, things.. (takes something from the plate and blows it a little) that you don't do (He takes a bite from it).
Joey: I really am sorry about, you know..before. I just want to make sure you know that I really do like you.
Sarah: Oh, no! This is work. I should call in. Can you excuse me?
Sarah: What are you doing? I thought you don't share food.
Joey: Sure I do. (holding up his own dessert) Coule?
Sarah: (laughing) No. If I can't have your clams, you can't have my dessert. This is a two way street.
Sarah: Really! Now this all better be here when I come back. (puts her plate back at her side of the table)
Joey: Yeah, of course. I can control myself. (laughs uneasily and Sarah leaves the room)
Erica: Yeah. It's a sonogram they took of the baby last week. I thought you might want to see it. (gives it to Monica, who looks at it for a long time, and then shows it to Chandler)
Agency guy: I don't understand.
Chandler: I could perform an operation on you and prove it if you'd like.
Monica: Well, we... (makes quotation signs in the air) "bore false witness"... See I could be a reverend.
Erica: I can't believe this.
Erica: I don't want to look at your file! This is over.
Erica: Oh yeah. I actually liked you guys. But it doesn't matter, because what you did was wrong. (walks away again, but Chandler catches up with her again)
Chandler: But you did like us. And you should. My wife's an incredible woman. She's loving and devoted and caring. And don't tell her I said this but the woman's always right... I love my wife more than anything in this world. And I... It kills me that I can't give her a baby... I really want a kid. And when that day finally comes, I'll learn how to be a good dad. But my wife... she's already there. She's a mother... without a baby... Please?
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Ross: Look, Im not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead!
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.
RACHEL: Now I love you even more.
MONICA: I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in.
RACHEL: No, I knew.
RACHEL: I do.
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
JANITOR: Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
GUNTHER: I um, was sorta thinking about maybe...
ROSS: I know.
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Bobby: Well I really have high hopes for my band.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
Fun Bobby: Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, so here I am!
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
PHOEBE: Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.
RYAN: Can I please see your face?
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker...
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
Lydia: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Monica: What?! I didn't take care of everything, there's-there's plenty of things for you to do!
JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
FBOB: Well, anyway, I hope we can be friends.
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
RYAN: Oh, I spilled some.
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
RACHEL: Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
RYAN: I can't say.
RYAN: I really can't say.
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
RYAN: I'm sorry, but I can't say.
MONICA: Cause I already invited her.
Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished...
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Ross: (pause) Yes I would.
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
CHANDLER: I may have.
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
RICHARD: I love you, too.
RICHARD: Oh, yeah, I don't like you this way. All right, I'll see you guys later.