words in movies
Rachel: Oh Monica that was the best Thanksgiving dinner ever! I think you killed us.
Ross: I couldn't possibly eat another bite.
Joey: I need something sweet.
Joey: Ooh-ooh, I! I am thankful for this beautiful fall we've been having.
Joey: Yeah, the other day I was at the bus-stop and this lovely fall breeze came in out of nowhere and blew this chick's skirt right up. Oh! Which reminds me, I'm also thankful for thongs. (Note: Actually, I think every guy is thankful for thongs. That and spandex. J )
Joey: I mean, it's not so much an underpant as it is a feat of engineering. I mean, it's amazing how much they can do with so little material! And the way they play with your mind! Is it there? Is it not there?
Ross: Huh, I don't know what to pick. Am I more thankful for my divorce or my eviction? Hmm.
Phoebe: Wow! See, and I didn't think you'd be able to come up with anything.
Chandler: No-no-no! I am the king of bad Thanksgivings. You can't just swoop in here with your bad marriage and take that away from me.
Joey: Oh, come on! I wanna hear it! It wouldn't be Thanksgiving without Chandler bumming us out!
Mrs. Bing: Now Chandler dear, just because your father and I are getting a divorce it doesn't mean we don't love you. It just means he would rather sleep with the house-boy than me.
Phoebe: I don't know about that. I've got one that's worse.
Past Life Phoebe: More bandages! More bandages! Please, can I get some more bandages in here! This man is dying(She is cut off by an exploding shell just outside the tent. When the smoke clears, she's missing an arm and the blood is pumping out like you'd see in a horror movie. And upon seeing her condition, she says ) Oh no.
Joey: Man, it must be so cool remembering stuff like that! I don't have any past life memories.
Rachel: I know Monica's worst Thanksgiving.
Phoebe: Oh no, I know! I know! It's the one where Joey got Monica's turkey stuck on his head!
Joey: I know! It's stuck!!!
Joey: I put it on to scare Chandler!
Joey: I can't! It-it's stuck!
Monica: Well, I don't care! That-that turkey has to feed 20 people at my parent's house and they're not gonna eat it off your head!
(They all start thinking. Joey starts rubbing his chin, of course his chin is currently inside the turkey so he ends up rubbing the turkey. And I didn't do that joke one bit of justice. It's one of those you have to see it to get it jokes.)
Monica: Okay, I got it. Phoebe? All right, you pull. I'm gonna spread the legs as wide as I can. (Joey starts giggling.) Joey? Now is not the time!
Joey: (pointing) It worked! I scared ya, I knew it! Ha-ha!
Joey: (turning all the way around, and still not facing Chandler) Yeah, you are! (Starts dancing.) I scared you!
Joey: Hey, I wasn't the only one who looked like an idiot. All right? Remember when Ross tried to say, "Butternut squash?" And it came out, "Squatternut buash?"
Mrs. Geller: Monica! I think Rachel's here!
Big Nosed Rachel: Not for me. Chip and I broke up!
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Big Nosed Rachel: Ugh! I cannot believe Chip dumped me for that slut Nancy Branson. I am never going out with him again. I don't care how much he begs!
Fat Monica: I think his begging days are over now that he's going out with Nancy Branson.
Ross: Umm, I'm sorry Judy, I couldn't find that bowl that you and Jack were looking for.
Big Nosed Rachel: I know!
Fat Monica: I know, but y'know, this time you're gonna definitely know whether or not you did it!
Big Nosed Rachel: I know, I know. And oh, and this time Chip promised that-that this time it will last at least for an entire song!
Ross: So Im thinking about asking Rachel out tonight. Y'know maybe play her that song we wrote last week.
Ross: Listen, Roland Chang, if things go well, Im gonna be out with her all night.
Chandler: No, it's not that, I just don't want to be stuck here all night with your fat sister.
Mrs. Geller: (holding two pies) Monica, why don't you finish off these pies? I don't have any more room left in the fridge.
Chandler: I called you fat?! I don't even remember that!
Monica: Well, I do.
Chandler: I am so sorry. I really am. I was an idiot back then. I rushed the stage at a Wham concert for crying out loud!
Phoebe: Oh, I can't believe you called her fat.
Ross: I can't believe you let George Michael slap you.
Chandler: I am really sorry. That is so terrible. I am so, so sorry.
Rachel: Actually, y'know that's not the Thanksgiving I was talking about.
Phoebe: Oh, no, I have the cutest Christmas story!
Rachel: Oh, yeah, I had too. There was never any parking by the Psychology building.
Chandler: Yeah, we were just talking about that. I can't believe how stupid we used to look. (They both quickly push their sleeves over their elbows.)
Monica: So Chandler, I guess I'll see you at dinner.
Monica: Yeah, I mean yeah, I look great. Yeah, I feel great and yeah, my heart is not in trouble anymore! Blah, blah, blah! Y'know I still don't feel like I got him back, y'know? I just want to humiliate him. I wanna, I want him to be like naked and then I'm going to point at him and laugh!
Monica: What?! I mean, I didn't work this hard and-and-and lose all this weight so that I can give my flower to someone like him!
Monica: And when he's naked I can throw him out in the front yard and lock the door and all the neighbors will just humiliate him!
Monica: Okay, so how do I make him think I wanna have sex with him?
Rachel: Well, like anything can be sexy. Like umm, oh-oh, like this dishtowel! (She grabs it and starts rubbing it on her cheek.) Ooh, ooh, this feels sooo good against my cheek! And-and if I feel a little hot, I can just dab myself with it. Or I can bring it down to my side and bring it through my fingers while I talk to him.
Monica: (excited) I can do that!
Chandler: Monica, I was wondering if you can make me some of that righteous mac and cheese like last year.
Monica: Umm, I'd love too! (She goes over and picks up the box and decides to follow Rachel's advice and holds the box up to her cheek.) Ooh, I love macaroni and cheese. I love-I love the way this box feels against my cheek.
Monica: Boy, I love carrots! Oh! (She picks up a bunch of them and holds them between her fingers.) Sometimes I like to put them between my fingers like this and-and hold them down here while I talk to you. (She is rubbing her hip with the carrots.) Umm, and-and-and y'know if I get really hot umm, I-I like to pick up this knife (She picks up a knife without putting the box down. She's holding the box between her cheek and shoulder) and-and umm, I-I put the cold steal against umm, (Pause) my body. (She doesn't have any exposed skin within reach of the knife, so while holding the carrots in one hand and the box between her face and shoulder, she rubs the knife on her stomach.)
Monica: Oh yes! I have it right here, on ice! (She takes a bag of ice out of her purse and hands it to the doctor.)
Chandler: Without my toe?! I need my toe!
Monica: Wait, no-no-no, I can go really fast! Dad, give me the keys to your Porsche!
Chandler: That's why I lost my toe?! Because I called you fat?!
Monica: I didn't mean to cut it off. It was an accident.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I miss the tip! It's the best part. It has the nail. (He storms out.)
Ross: (To Joey) Sir Limps-A-Lot, I came up with that.
Chandler: I can't believe this.
Monica: Chandler, I said I was sorry.
Chandler: Yeah, well, sorry doesnt bring back the little piggy that cried all the way home! I hate this stupid day! And everything about it! I'll see you later.
Monica: Oh wait, Chandler, come here is there anything I can do? Anything?
Chandler: Oh-oh, I'm a duck! I go, "Quack, quack!" Im happy all the time!
Monica: I bet this will work! (She starts dancing and Chandler cracks up.)
Chandler: You are so great! I love you!
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Monica: You said you loved me! I can't believe this!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: No I didn't!
Chandler: No I don't! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
[Scene: The Western front during World War I, Phoebe, in yet another past life, is once again a nurse tending to yet another dying soldier. But this time she's doing it with a French accent.]
French Phoebe: Gauze! Gauze! I need to get some gauze in here! Can I please get some gauze in here! (A shell explodes outside next to the tent and when the smoke clears, Phoebe still has her arm.) Whew! (Her arm falls off and starts pumping out blood.) This is getting ridiculous uh!
Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldnt, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Chandler: Well, I like danger.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Rachel: Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park!
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Chandler: Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head.
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Joey: Uhm... ok... uhm... Well, yeah... You have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because its so romantic.
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Oh I am!
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Rachel: Oh yeah, I got a cat.
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
Ross: I wonder how I would react under fire, y'know? And not backfire but-but heavy fire, like I was in a war or something.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Chandler: Yeah, Im not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.
Rachel: Oh, I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes, y'know? Y'know what I mean, like dubbies? And I actually, I thought to myself, "Wow, those guys are crazy!" But no, I actually smoke the regular ones all, all the time.
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Joey: I like it.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Phoebe: No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they dont like you. Im sorry.
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Rachel: Im talking about a bet, winner takes all.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Ross: Im sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square.
Joey: I like her so much!
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Janine: Yeah, thats what I said.
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now shes like OLD NEWS!
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Chandler: I dont think so.
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Ross: Oh my God its just like I dreamed it!
Joey: That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad?
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, Im right here.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
Chip: Not so good, Simmons and I gave him a wedgie.
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
Monica: Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.
PHOEBE: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again.
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
RACHEL: Oh god. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I werent wearing underpants?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Tall Guy: No I dont think so.
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
Phoebe: I cant have any. You know I dont eat meat. (Faking dissapointment.) Ohhh no.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!