words in movies
{Transcriber's Note: Rachel has two friends that are not named, so I referred to them as Friend No. 1 and Friend No. 2.}
Ross: Im sorry the answer there would be...none of us.
Janice: Im sorry I find it hard to believe that a group of people who spends as much time together as you guys do has never bumped uglies.
Ross: Yeah, Ill take some.
Monica: (entering from bedroom) Okay, Ill be back in just a minute. Oh, Phoebe Im sorry that I left lipstick marks on the phone.
Phoebe: (angrily) Bye-bye! (to Ross) Thats why I moved out.
Phoebe: I think on some levels she already knows.
Chandler: Im never gonna find a roommate, ever.
Chandler: Two. This photographer, who seemed really dull. And this actor guy, who Im not sure about, because when he called and I answered the phone Chandler Bing, he said Whoa-whoa, short message.
Ross: I have to go. Yeah, Carol should be home by now, soo...
Ross: Oh, better, actually. Y'know I-I-I think I finally figured out why we were having so much trouble lately.
Ross: Yeah, y'know how I have you guys, well she doesnt really have any close friends that are just hers, but last week she meet this woman at the gym, Susan something, and they really hit it off, and I-I-I think its gonna make a difference
Eric: Oh, mostly fashion, so there may be models here from time to time, I hope thats cool.
Chandler: Yes, that is cool. Because I have models here y'know......never.
Eric: Oh, yeah, during the summer, I spend most weekends at my sisters beach house, which you are welcome to use by the way. Although, I should probably tell you, shes a porn star. (Chandler breaks his pencil in half)
Chandler: Well, listen I ah, still have one more person to ah meet, but unless it turns out to be your sister, I think youre chances are pretty good. (Eric offers to shake hands) All right. (Chandler hugs him.)
Joey: Well, ah, Im an actor. Im fairly neat. I ah, I got my own TV. Oh, and dont worry Im totally okay with the gay thing.
Joey: Ah, y'know just in general people being gay, thing. Im totally cool with that.
Chandler: Do I ever.
Chandler: (to bartender) Can I get a beer.
Chandler: Oh yes, and thats what I want a roommate that I can walk around with and be referred to as the funny one.
Monica: Oh look, the pool tables free. Rack em up. Ill be back in just a minute. Get ready for me to whip your butt.
Rachel: (sitting at a table with some of her friends) (to waitress) Oh, um, no, no, no, no excuse me, hello. Hi. My friend ordered an onion, not an olive, and uh I ordered a rum and Diet Coke, which I dont think this is.
Waitress: I am so sorry.
Rachel: Thats all right. (to her friends) I mean hard is it to get a couple drinks right, huh?
Friend No. 1: Well, I would like to propose a toast to the woman, who in one year from today, become Mrs. Dr. Barry Farber DDS
Rachel: Ummm, I think its time to see the ring again. (holds her hand out and they all scream)
Friend No. 2: Oh, isnt it exciting, I mean its like having a boyfriend for life.
Rachel: Yeah, I know.
Rachel: Oh, I dont know. Well maybe its just the idea of Barry for the rest of my life. I dont know I think I feel like I need to have one last fling, y'know, just to sorta get it out of my system. (Chandler is listening in very intensely)
Rachel: Im serious, I really, I think I need just to have some...meaningless, sex y'know, with the next guy that I see.
Chandler: Excuse, I seem to have dropped my ball.
Chandler: (picks it up) And now Ive picked it up again. (walks over to Monica.)
Monica: Oh my God, I went to high school with her. (to Rachel) Rachel! Hi!
Monica: I know.
Monica: So, Ill get-get back to my friend.
Rachel: Oh, yeah, sure, sure, sure, sure. (points at Chandler, who holds up the cue ball as a Remember me? thing) Listen, can we please have lunch the next time Im in the city?
Monica: Bye! (to Chandler) Ten bucks says, I never see that woman again in my life.
Ross: No real-, honey, really its fine, just g-go with Susan. Really, I, no, I think girls night out is a great idea. Okay, okay, bye
Ross: I dont know, something girlie.
Phoebe: Im just taking it to be re-wired.
Mr. Heckles: I could play the oboe!
Phoebe: Then Im gonna have to ask you to keep it down. (slams the door in his face.)
Eric: Hi, Im Eric, Im gonna be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: Im Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: I could be Chandlers new roommate.
Mr. Heckles: Well, Im going to go into my new apartment now. (goes over to the door and opens it) Ehh! (Eric leaves)
Chandler: Oh, dont thank me, thank the jerk that never showed up. Okay, I gotta get to get to work.
Joey: Oh, no thanks, I got it. (picks it up) No I dont!
Monica: This place is really my Grandmothers. (Joey starts to take off all of his clothes, while Monica gets the glasses and pours the lemonade.) I got it from her when she moved to Florida, otherwise I could never afford a place like this. So if the landlord ever asks, Im 87 year old woman, whos afraid of her VCR. So are you thirsty?
Joey: Oh, you bet I am!
Monica: I dont believe this! When someone asks you in for lemonade, and to you that means they wanna have sex?
Joey: Well usually...yeah! Well, not just lemonade, iced tea, sometimes juice. Well, sorry, I just, I thought you liked me. Im such a jerk.
Monica: Its okay. I suppose it could happen to anyone, not anyone I know, but... By the way I can still see it.
Phoebe: Its not in the apartment? (Monica gives a Come on look) Oh no. I cant believe this is happening again.
Phoebe: Okay, enough with the third degree! I-Ive, I dont live here anymore.
Phoebe: Im sorry, I-I-I-I dont live here anymore. I-I didnt know how to tell you, but y'know everybody else knows!
Phoebe: That was supposed to be a good thing, I forget why. Just listen, Monica, I, do you know, okay, do you know, I couldnt sleep for like a month because I got like a dot of ink on one of the sofa cushions.
Phoebe: Yeah, I wouldve except I had a big spaghetti stain on the other side.
Phoebe: Okay, this is what Im talking about, this. I-I need to live in a land where people can spill.
Phoebe: Aw, honey its not your fault, y'know this is who you are, and I love you, and I want us to be friends, and if I keep living here I dont see that happening.
Monica: I love you, too.
Monica: What? Im just said.
Chandler: Yeah, Ill go get one.
Joey: No, no, no, dont get up, I got a cooler right here.
Monica: I dont understand, I mean am I so hard to live, is this why I dont have a boyfriend?
Chandler: Noo!! You dont have a boyfriend because....I dont, I dont know why you dont have a boyfriend. You should have a boyfriend.
Monica: Well, I think so.
Chandler: Oh-ho, come here. (goes and hugs her) Listen, you are one of my favourite people and the most beautiful woman Ive ever known in real life.
Ross: My marriage, I think my marriage is um, is kinda over.
Ross: Cause Carols a lesbian. (Phoebe is shocked) And, and Im not one. And apparently its not a mix and match situation.
Phoebe: Oh my God! I dont believe it! Oh, you poor bunny.
Ross: (sets out a bunch of shot glasses and starts to poor himself a drink, many drinks) Im an idiot. I mean shoulda seen it, I mean Carol and Id be out and shed, shed see some beautiful woman, and, and shed be Ross y'know look at her, and Id think, God, my wife is cool!
Ross: Well, now I do!!
Phoebe: Im sorry.
Ross: Seven years. I mean weve been together seven years, shes the only woman whos ever loved me, and the only woman Ive-Ive ever....
Monica: I know, it is isnt it?
Chandler: No, I mean it, this feels really good. Is it a hundred percent cotton?
Monica: Yeah! And I got it on sale, too.
Chandler: Anyway, I should go, one of the lifeguards was just about to dismantle a nuclear device.
Monica: I know. Thanks. (Chandler leaves)
Ross: Maybe this wouldve happened if Id been more nurturing, or Id paid more attention, or I... had a uterus. I cant believe this!
Phoebe: I know no, no, y'know you dont deserve this, you dont Ross. Youre, youre really, youre so good. (kisses him on the cheek)
Ross: No, I cant get it out.
Phoebe: Oh, Ross youre right, I dont know why I always thought this was real grass.
Chandler: I cant believe you came back.
Rachel: Dont say anything. I dont wanna speak, I dont wanna think. I just want you to take me and kiss me and make love to me right here, right now.
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Ross: Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it?
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Ross: Uh, yeah! I still cant believe she hates Pottery Barn!
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Monica: I am loud!
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Joey: (shouting) I can hear you!
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Ross: I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Chandler: (jumping up) Oh, Ill go out and get you some.
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Monica: (loudly) I know!!!
Monica: Well, Id like to but, (extremely quietly) Im not sure we have time to go.
Joey: You dont think I know that!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Rachel: (not sure of what to do) Yknow what? I dont, I dont think Phoebe really wants to come.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
Rachel: What?! No! Im not gonna move out!
Rachel: (gets it) Oh. Yes! I would so move out!
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Janine: Yknow, I know youre talking, but all I hear is, "Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah."
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
Monica: What did I tell you about the hall?!
Janine: Ill see you.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Monica: Now come on. (They hug like men.) Well, Im glad we worked things out.
Chandler: Yeah, Im sorry man. (Pause) You wanna go watch?
Joey: Yeah uh, what am I gonna do?
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah. Ill be all right.
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Chandler: Yeah, I guess.
Monica: Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant
Rachel: See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didnt I?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Kristin: (reluctantly) I guess.
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Rachel: Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Chandler: No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldnt take it.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: I guess it was kinda funny.
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Rachel: Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Rachel: I just y'know, I didnt expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh! (sits down on the curb)
Woman: Id love an ice water.
Chandler: I think you smell great! (He sniffs her shoulder.)
Phoebe: I didnt know Playboy prints jokes.
Ross: Uh, yeah, Ill take a coffee. Thanks, man.
Allesandro: (entering) I want a retraction! Our food is not inedible swill!
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Rachel: No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
Ross: Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Phoebe: Ooo, a crossword! Can I help?
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, Ive even had my own octagon training ring designed.
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Monica: Well, then, Im okay with being high maintenance.
Monica: I am not high maintenance!
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Rachel: Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
Joey: Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.