words in movies
Ross: How weird is that? Yknow? Youre moving in with me and have the one thing I dont have. Its like uh, in a way you-you complete me (Phoebe glares at him) kitchen.
Phoebe: Ross, I know what youre thinking.
Ross: Of course! It all adds up! I mean you youre obsessed with her. Its always, "Ross, what are you gonna do about Rachel?" "Ross, why-why are you moving in with Rachel?" "When are you gonna confess your secret marriage to Rachel?" You want her!
Rachel: No-no, I bought those.
Monica: Ohh! Yeah, I forgot.
Ross: (on phone) No-no-no, thats great! Ill be there Monday. And thank you again! (Listens) Okay. (Hangs up) (To All) Umm, that was the head of the Paleontology department at N uh, Y, uh U!
Ross: Well remember that paper I had published last year on sediment flow rate, huh? They loved it.
Ross: I know! Anyway, they asked me to be a guest lecturer! I mean its temporary, but uh, if they like me it could lead to a full time job. How great would that look great on a mailbox, huh? "Professor Geller."
Phoebe: Well, you know that psychic I see?
Phoebe: Well, she told me that Im gonna die this week, so Im kinda bummed about that.
Phoebe: Yeah, and I know you guys dont know a lot about psychic readings, but that one is pretty much the worse one you can get.
Joey: I cant believe she would say that too you.
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Phoebe: No, cause she didnt tell me I was gonna die until the very end of the session, and I was not gonna waste a whole another hour there! I mean Ive only got a week left, yknow? Ive really gotta start living now! (So she picks up the latest copy of Car and Driver (a U.S. auto magazine), leans back, and starts reading.)
Ross: Hey uh, well, todays my first lecture and I kinda wanted to try it out on you guys, do you, do you mind?
Joey: Well, Ive just never seen a guy stare so hard at a piece of paper that didnt have naked chicks on it.
Ross: I-I-I dont even know why I bother to talk to you guys about it. Yknow what? Im just gonna do it on my own with no naked chicks.
Chandler: Thats the way I did it til I was 19.
Joey: Ooh, its probably a residual check, hey can you open it for me, Im kinda .
Joey: Hmm thats weird. I dont remember being in a move called benefits lapsed.
Joey: (reads it) Oh, I cant believe this! This sucks! When I had insurance I could get hit by a bus or catch on fire, yknow? And it wouldnt matter. Now I gotta be careful?!
Chandler: Im sorry man, theres never a good time to (pauses) stop catching on fire.
Joey: All right well, I guess I gotta go get a job. Im gonna go see my agent.
Phoebe: I was preparing you for mydidnt you think I was dead? Did that not come off?
Rachel: Oh yeah, scared the hell out of me. I thought wed lost you forever. Pheebs, you lie down?
Monica: No-no, I-I just, I liked them so much that I went out and bought some for myself.
Monica: I loved them!
Ross: It went great! And I didnt need any jokes or naked chicks either!
Rachel: Wow, thats great Ross, Im sorry we werent more supportive before.
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Joey: What are you talkin about? I never left you! Youve always been my agent!
Estelle: Well, I think uhh, someone out there may have been bad mouthing you all over town.
Joey: (in obvious pain) Hey! So Estelle lined up a bunch of auditions for me tomorrow and Ill have my health insurance back in no time.
Joey: Nothing! Well, I-I got this blinding pain in my stomach when I was lifting weights before, then I uh passed out and uh, havent been able to stand up since. But um, I dont think its anything serious.
Joey: No way! Kay look, if I have to go to the doctor for anything its gonna be for this thing sticking out of my stomach! (Rolls over and shows Chandler.)
Joey: Why did I have to start working out again? (Looks at the weights he was using.) Damn you 15s!
Rachel: Yeah, we could. Oh hey look! Theres some Kappa Kappa Deltas! I was a Kappa. (to them) Hey sisters! (They ignore her.) (To Monica) Wow, we really are bitches.
Ross: Look, I was nervous! You guys had me all worried I was going to be boring! I got up there and they were all like staring at me. I opened my mouth and this British accent just came out.
The Professor: Dr. Geller, Kurt Rathman, Im a professor in the paleontology department here.
Ross: (in his British accent) Im sorry, Ive got plans with my sister.
Monica: (normal voice) Oh, you can have an accent and I cant?! (To an exiting student in accent.) Top O the morning to ya laddies!
Chandler: I will loan you the money. Just go to the hospital and lets just get that thing pushed back in.
Joey: Thank you, but it would take me forever to pay you that money back and I dont want that hanging over my head. Okay? Besides, as soon as my insurance kicks in I can get all the free operations I want! Yeah, Im thinking Ill probably start with that laser eye surgery too.
Joey: Look, Im telling you if I put my hand on my stomach right here (He puts his hand down his pants, like Al Bundy on Married With Children always used to do.) it doesnt hurt that bad.
Joey: Sure, now Im scared.
Phoebe: No, we can go together! Just dont wait too long though, okay? Cause Im outta here sometime before Friday.
Joey: Yeah, but I dont wanna die!
Ross: (entering) Look, I really need some help, okay? Why? Why did I have to speak in a British accent?! What do I do?
Rachel: Yeah, I mean, come on Ross, no one will even notice. I mean theyre probably not even listening!
Ross: Monica you really think I should try this phasing out thing?
Monica: I think you look fine.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
Casting Director #1: Hold it. Im sorry, the surprise is a new swing set, if you could play it a little less intense?
Joey: Oh yeah, sure, no problem, Ill justhold on one second. (He turns around and puts his hand in his pants and groans in relief.) (In a relaxed voice.) "Hey Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you!"
Joey: So thats why I feed my dog Purina One! Pick up a bag today! (He turns, looks at the bag and realizes he wont be able to pick it up.)
Joey: Or, I could just point to it! Huh? Blah, blah, blah, Purina One, point to a bag today. (She just looks at him.) I didnt get it, did I?
Joey: Hi. Im Joey Tribbiani; Im here to audition for (Groans) man.
Phoebe: Listen to this! My reading was wrong, Im not going die!
Rachel: Oh, Im sorry.
Chandler: Listen, Im really glad you got the part.
Joey: Ah, just one thing umm, is it all right with you if I, if I scream right up until you say action?
Chandler: Im sorry! Hey-hey Joe, why dont you uh, lift up your shirt? (He does.) Take a look at this kiddo. (Alex finally starts crying.) We have a crying child! Roll the damn cameras!
Rachel: Uh no, hes not. Can I take a message?
Russell: Yes, this Russell, Rosss divorce lawyer, just tell him that since I havent heard from him, I assume hes decided to give the marriage a try.
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Rachel: Ross!! Are you crazy?! I am still your wife!! What, were you just never gonna tell me?!! What the hell is wrong with you?!!!! Ugh, I could just kill you!!!!
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Ross: Hi! Im so glad youre here, but its gonna be a while. I-I wished youd called first.
Joey: I gotta tell you. You're the best in the business.
ROSS: I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
RACHEL: Well, the point is, maybe I should just stop waiting around for moments with Ross, you know?� I should just . . . move on with my life.
Phoebe: No! I am a positive person. You are like Santa Clause on Prozac, at Disneyland, getting laid!
Ross: C'mon, Chandler, I love your mom. I think she's a blast.
Chloe: (entering from bedroom) Hey, what kind of puppy do you think I should get?
Frank: I mean, how hard can it be? Y'know, I mean, y'know, babies, y'know who doesnt want babies right? And besides y'know, I never had a Dad around, and ah, now-now I always will, cause y'know, itll be me. Right?
CHANDLER: Because I didn't know how to tell him that I couldn't go to the Knicks game.� So, I just told him that I had to stay in Tulsa.
Ursula: Right, yeah, cause its close to where I live, and the aprons are really cute.
Rachel: I dont know Tag! How can your genitals make phone calls? Okay? Its not a perfect world! Just go please.
Alan: Yeah, well, I had a great time with you.. I just can't stand your friends.
Ross: (to Ben) I know, I know. Everybody, there's someone I'd like you to meet. Yeah. This is Ben. Ben, this is everybody.
Susan: I like Ben.
Monica: Ross, can I?
Rachel: Oh, I know. Look at him.
Chandler: I know, I still am one of these.
Monica: Okay, Ive got a question. If you had to pick one of us to date, who would it be?
Monica: I mean, that's a typical guy response.
Monica: I sure do! (She runs over to a drawer, opens it, and grabs a lollipop.) (To Rachel) And you don't get one!
Rachel: I loved the moment when you first saw the giant dog shadow all over the park.
Joey: I will, really. I'll pay you back this time.
Charlie: Actually, I'm kinda happy to be leaving... I just broke up with someeone.
Chandler: Okay, well Im gonna get Ross, get the cameras, and get them developed. (Joey laughs again.) 32 Joe. Youre 32! (Exits)
Joey: I don't know, she's, uh.... she's pretty great.
Joey: What, you think I'm gonna tell a girl I like that I'm also seeing a cup?
Chandler: I say, Drew! Are you seeing anybody right now? (Drew looks at him) Og-ee-op, Im not asking for me, Im I mean No, Im-Im not gay, Im not asking you out. Im not-Im not-Im not gay!
Phoebe: Yes, you will be very sad. All right, well I gotta go tell Rachel the good news.
RACHEL: Ok mom, you know what, fine, I'll make an appointment ok, but you know what, right now, I gotta go, I gotta go do a thing.
Ross: I know.
Phoebe: (stops) Please! Please! Please! Please! Oh please! Please! Please! Frank and Alice asked me to baby sit the triplets and Im nervous cause Ive never done that before by myself!
Chandler: I can't belive it.
Monica: I can't believe he did this.
Rachel: I mean, this is unbelievable.
Joey: Phoebe, could you do me a favour? Could you try this on? I just wanna make sure it fits.
Phoebe: I know. This is really, really huge.
Joey: No, no, no, don't you dare bail on me. The only reason she's goin' out with me is because I said I could bring a friend for her friend.
Ross: (turning towards him) Yes Mr. Lewis, how can I help you?
Rachel: I don't know. Maybe I'll know when I see him.
Rachel: (Somewhat angrily) Okay. What the hell was that? You know what? Dont answer me. (Giggling) I have a date with Danny.
Chandler: Rachel, I love you! Deal with me first! (she leaves)
Rachel: Uh... I don't know.
Rachel: I accidentally kissed him in the interview, and now he wants me back y'know of course, 'cause "Let's bring the girl back who kisses everybody!"
Joey: (enters) Guess what? (they all look expectantly at him) I finally got that seed out of my teeth.
Rachel: Oh, no, no, I don't have one. I just need to talk to my friend.
Ross: I got tenure. I didn't win the lottery... Hey Rach, so uh... how did your thing go?
Rachel: Ok, I, I hear what you're sayin'. I'm with you. Um, but I, but I'm trying really hard. And I think I'm doing better. I really do. Does anybody need coffee? (everyone in the place raises their hand) Oh, look at that.
Ross: No, Rachel got pulled over for speeding. She forgot her licence so now I have to bring it to her.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Rachel: I don't know. I don't know... I thought about it all the way there, and I thought about it all the way back... and, uh, oh, you guys, y'know, it's Ross. Y'know what I mean? I mean, it's Ross.
Ross: Yeah, that's true. Except I don't wanna get over her.
Chandler: Oh yes, yes, we could play some other game... like, uh, I don't know... Pictionary?
Joey: Aww, I don't know Monica y'know... erm... lending friends money is always a mistake.
Joey: No, still too ethnic. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.
Ross: You're just jealous because you couldn't pull this off. Yeah, now if you'll excuse me (getting up and taking his coat) I have a date. (As he is walking out, everyone turns and stares at him) See? (To Joey) ALL eyes on ME!
Monica: What?! Are you crazy?! Im not getting married! Im not even engaged.
Phoebe: Well, I mean, then what happens if it doesn't work out?
Young Ethan: I wasn't thinking. I was too busy fallin'...
Joey: I know! Neither did I!
Joey: No, yeah, no, ok, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. (he walks over to her) Hey, Angela.
Joey: Okay, so-so which route should I take the northern route or the southern route?
Mrs. Verhoeven's Daughter: Thats so sweet. (Takes the flowers.) Would you like to come in and say good-bye? Im sure it would mean a lot to her.
Monica: Aww, the only reason you want to go out with me because my blond wig, and the big boobs, and the fact that I serve you food.
Amy: Oh, I know, I know. I've just been crazed.
Ross: I know.
Chandler: It is going to be perfect. I am taking her to her favorite restaurant. Im going to get her a bottle of the champagne that she really loves; therefore knows how expensive it is. Then when the glasses are full, instead of proposing a toast Im just gonna propose.
Monica: Well, of course I do. What's not to like! I'll take her in a minute! But, you know, I think that you're giving up too easy, honey. I think that you need to fight for her!
Rachel: If we broke up, and I lost you...
Ross: Oh, hey, hey, I got that.
Ross: No problem. I cannot wait for you to meet my friends.
Ross: No, no, they will. I just... uh...
Chandler: That's right! I do! And I'm your man. And I'm going to get us through this situation even if it means you working twice as hard.
Ross: Hey, I married a lesbian to make you look good!
Rachel: Okay, see, see, you guys, what if we don't get magic beans? I mean, what if all we've got are.. beans?
Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.
Ross: So, guys, am I crazy, or does Phoebes mom remind anyone of a cat?
David: Oh, I hate this but I-I-I have to go. I-I cant miss my flight.
Rachel: Oh, I know... I still have my old key! (She goes in to get it and comes back with her keys) We can just unlock the door.
Ross: Well, where do I start? This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel.
Chandler: Ross, I am not gonna run away again! I just want to get a little fresh air.
Phoebe: 'Cause, you know, (in that voice) if you don't look good, we don't look good. I love that voice.
Monica: Uh, so, uh, Rach, uh... do you wanna save this wrapping paper, I mean, it's only a little bit torn... so are you gonna go for it with Ross or should I just throw it out?
Julie: Well, Ross and I were in grad school together.
Monica: This is amazing. I mean, how, how did this happen?
Ross: Hey, Rach, can I get some coffee?
Rachel: Are you, are you, are you sure its ah, a new bump? I mean, no offense, Ive always thought of Ben as a fairly bumpy headed child.
Ross: (pause) I am a doctor! Yknow what? Im just gonna go and talk to Rachel myself.
Joey: Okay, may I see the comics?
CHANDLER: Of course I am. I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me, and then I bitch about the fact that there aren't any great women out there.
Ross: I didn't order lemonade.
Joey: I'm telling ya... (his eyes open wide and he looks like his eyes are about to pop out. He stares at Ross like this without blinking) I can do it.
ROSS: This screen is amazing, I mean Dick Van Dyke is practically life-size.
Rachel: Oh..Go..Oh..and I told my boss that someone made out with Ralph Lauren. If she finds out that I lied to her, she is going to hate me even more. Phoebe!!
Chandler: (singing) Ill hold you close in my arms. (Phoebe enters) I cant resist your charms. And love....
MONICA: Well, I guess now we can't go.
Monica: Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too.
Rachel: (taking the phone and hanging it up) Sorry, I thought you were talking to me.
Joey: (to Chandler) You know, I think I was sixteen.
Phoebe: I know I'm not, but you are, and I was trying to spare your feelings.
Rachel: Oh God, I know I'm a pathetic loser.