words in movies
Rachel: Oh... Oh, I'm sorry! I'm not... I was just-I was just reading to Emma.
Charlie: (to Joey) So, I have to go shopping today, which is my least favourite thing, I'm soo bad at picking out clothes!
Phoebe: Oh... Mike's sister just invited me to a party tonight, he's gonna be there. And she was like "Oh, don't worry! I asked him. He's totally ok with seeing you!". So now I have to go so he'll think that I'm totally ok with seeing him!
Phoebe: (after a short pause) I didn't even think about that! (pause) Aaargh, sexual politics!!
Monica: Oh, I so can't believe this! My uterus is an inhospitable environment? I was trying so hard to be a good hostess!
Chandler: Oh, I can't believe my sperm have low motility because, let me tell you, when I was growing up they sure seem to be in a hurry to get places!!
Doctor Connelly: I'm sorry there wasn't better news from your test last week but I wanted to talk to you about your options.
Ross: Yeah, well... I think I know how to dazzle him.
Ross: Wait a minute, you guys. Oh, I wanna ask you something. I-I I may get to speak at this paleontology convention and if I do, I'd love for you guys to come and hear me.
Chandler: I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work stuff and/or are sick.
Joey: So, I don't have to learn what that means?
Chandler: I wish there was an easier way for us to have a child but I don't think there is one.
Ross: (looking astonished) What? NO! I am not going to give them Ben!
Ross: (reading from a notepad) I mean, we've been accepting Leakey's dates as a given, but if they're off by even a hundred thousand years or so then you can - you can just throw most of our assumptions, you know, right in the trash. (he throws the notepad in the waste bin) So-so what I am saying is - is is that (he picks the notepad back from the waste bin) is that the repercussions could be huge! I mean, not just in palaeontology, but if-if you think about it, in evolutionary biology, uh, genetics, geology, uh, I mean, truly the mind boggles!
Phoebe: No, I know, this way when I go to the party later Mike will know I am over him cause I'm gonna smell like another guy. (to the shop assistant) Yeah.
Phoebe: Ok. Oh good, I'm dating a Russian cab driver. (to the shop assistant). Seriously does anyone buy this? I smell like beets!
Charlie: (to Rachel) So, you know what, I really like those jackets with the shoulder pads on them. Where do you think those would be?
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
Charlie: See, I told you I needed someone! Oh, you know, by the way, as a "thank you", I would really love to take you out.
Charlie: Yeah! Actually Joey and I are going to the movies tonight, wanna come?
Rachel: Oh, I can't. Because I-I've seen them.
Rachel: She's ok, I just don't get a really good vibe from her!
Rachel: I don't know, you know, just the way she waltzed in here all smart, and tall! You know, and just swept Joey off his feet... I mean, nobody else has a chance!
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Rachel: It's just physical and I have it totally under control! Ok? It's just, when I see them together, sometimes I just get a little jealous!
Rachel: (annoyed) Oh, I get it!
Rachel: I know, I know, so it is just not a big deal.
Rachel: Ok, great, because I gotta get out of here, the smell of beets is killing me!
Chandler: Hey! Look I brought a friend for dinner, this is Zack, from work!
Monica: I got it.
Monica: Yeah, I guess.
Chandler: Well, we're talking about sperm donors and Zack may be the guy! I mean, look, he's intelligent, he's healthy, he's athletic, I mean, he is "spermtastic"!
Chandler: No, I invited him to dinner so you could get a chance to get to know him! I mean, if we go through a sperm bank you never meet the guy, get to check him out.
Chandler: I'm telling you, he's great! I mean, even if my sperm worked fine, I'd think he'd be the way to go!
Zack: Thanks! Do you have a coaster? I don't wanna make a ring.
Rachel: Oh, thank God I can't hear a word that you're saying!
Phoebe: (sticks her head out) I didn't say anything yet!
Phoebe: (goes back in) I'm Rachel. It's so annoying when I put Emma on the phone to talk with my friends.
Rachel: Ok well, I heard that! Which means that she heard it too!
Ross: Joey! Hey, I need to talk to Charlie. Is she there?
Joey: What!? But I already bought my ticket to Bermuda!
Ross: What am I supposed to do? He's out cold! In fact he was just talking in his sleep before and evidently he wants someone named Fran to spank him harder.
Ross: I can't! If he realizes that I'm the one that put him to sleep, I won't get the job!
Joey: Uh! That's a tough one. Oh! Wait a minute, this happened to me before! Yeah, I was auditioning for a play and the producer fell asleep and... (pause) no wait a minute... it was me who fell asleep... Yeah I mean hey, Shakespeare, how about a chase scene once in a while!?
Chandler: So what do you think? I want that guys genes for my kid! Those eyes, those cheeckbones!
Monica: I think he is fine! It's just that we don't know anything real about him... we should get more information.
Zack: Uhm... no. Although I did have an uncle who voted for Dukakis.
Zack: Ok. I heard a joke today. It's pretty funny...
Chandler: I noticed you were enjoying that Ravioli with a beautiful set of teeth. Did you have braces as a child?
Zack: No I didn't.
Phoebe: Oh! I'm sorry Rachel, I don't have time for your childish games, ok? I still have to go find something incredible to wear so I can beat Mike at "who's more over who"! (at which she walks away)
Rachel: (pretends to be stunned) Oh! Wi... in the dres... in the dressing room!? Well, that's so weird! Phoebe and I were just trying on clothes in the dressing room. God it's just such a small world!
Charlie: (smiling) Rachel... I heard you guys whispering.
Charlie: No! There's nothing to explain. I heard you. Phoebe likes Joey.
Charlie: It's just that... I don't understand it... I mean, Phoebe likes Joey and then she comes here to buy a dress to impress another guy...?
Charlie: You know, by the way. I heard you tell her not to do anything. Thanks for sticking up for me. You are such a nice person.
Rachel: (Looks ashamed) I try...
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Phoebe: You got it! Ok. But not on the wine that you made, ok, because I just don't want to go back to the Emergency Room.
David: Well, remember how I was trying to achieve the positronic distillation of subatomic particles?
David: Well, after eight years of research I discovered that it can't be done.
David: She's also a scientist, so she's very smart and pretty and... well, it's actually because of you, really, that we're together, I mean, I saw what you had with that Mike guy, and I just said "Boy, I want that".
Phoebe: Mike and I broke up.
David: Yeah, I don't know why, I'm sorry, I guess I just didn't want to lose face.
Phoebe: I understand. Yeah. Ok so then ok, so we're both living in New York, not seeing anyone. That's so not like us!
David: Yeah, I know. Well... this is probably a stupid question, seeing that you look like that, but do you have some place that you need to be right now?
Zack: No, no, I should get home, I'm kinda tired.
Chandler: I think we've found our sperm!
Chandler: Yeah, you think so, well? Should I ask him?
Monica: No, that's not it. It's just that when we were asking him all those questions before, I just... I just realized I don't care if he's the most perfect guy in the world... he's not you.
Monica: No, he's not. And if I can't get pregnant with you, then I don't want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.
Chandler: (sighs with relief) Thank God, because I don't wanna do this either. You know, I was just doing because I thought that was what you wanted to do. You know, I'm the husband, I'm supposed to... bring the sperm.
Monica: That is so sweet. I love you. (they kiss)
Monica: I think I feel ok about it. Actually I think I feel really good about it.
Chandler: Me too. I wanna find a baby that needs a home and I wanna raise it with you. And I wanna mess it up in our own specific way.
Monica: And it could be soon. I mean, think about it: right now, somewhere out there (they go look through the window) our baby could be being conceived.
Chandler: Look, I just wanted to apologize for last night. I got the feeling we made you a little uncomfortable.
Chandler: My wife and I have some boundary issues, you know, sometimes we ask inappropriate questions. We're working on it.
Ross: I play squash...! Anyway, uhm... I uhm... I always get the feeling he thought I was too sensitive.
Chandler: Oh, I think this is the episode of Three's Company where there's some kind of misunderstanding.
Rachel: (screams and grabs a potato masher to defend herself) Sorry. Im sorry.
Joey: Come in. Thanks for comin back, umm, okay there have been a lot of people interested in the room, but I have narrowed it down and you are one of the finalists!
Rachel: (looks interested) Oh my God! Wow! That was fantastic, I almost leaned in. I really almost did!
Phoebe: Yeah. (BEAT) Oh, I know what we can do. We could set Ross and Rachel up on horrible dates, so that they'll realise how good they are together.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don�t need my help Victor Victoria!
Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and it turns out it's my mother, which is very-very weird, because- she never calls me!
CHANDLER: Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. And he was in the scale modeler's club, and I was, well, there was no club, but I sure thought they were cool.
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Rachel: No, I know, but Ihe just went on. He's right there, he's got the blue jacket on, I... can I j-just...
Phoebe: Hey, Joey! Hey! Ooh! Ooh! I just say someone on thethat looks just like you on the subway. And I was gonna go over and say hi! but then I figured, he doesnt care if he looks like you.
Monica: Yknow, I only know of two surefire ways to shut a man up. And one of them is sex.
CHANDLER: Well, I don't know what Big Leon told ya but it's an even thousand if you want me for the whole night. What is this for?
Phoebe: So, we realize thatOh no (She resets herself) Im telling it! Im telling it (She loses it.)
JOEY: Uhhh, I was an impulse buyer, near the register.
Joey: Oh, yeah, well I already did that! They said theyre gonna look into it right after they solved all the murders.
Rachel: Yeah, seriously coz this is really heavy. (She suddenly lets go) I mean not for me because i'm only pretending to hold this, but for these guys.
Phoebe: All right, I will. No, I will. But umm, yknow just remember that its still really early, okay so, if it says that Im not pregnant, that doesnt mean that Im not gonna get pregnant, okay and, and just please, just so I dont go completely nuts, just try not put all your hopes on this.
Ross: I knew all I had to do was let the material speak for itself. Everyones all, "Ross you have to be funny and sexy." Well, I proved them wrong! And now, Im gonna pass the news onto Joey and Chandler.
Chandler: Good! I havent smoked yet today, I feel great, and-and-and confident, that is a stunning blouse.
Chandler: Does that room have a closet I can lock him in? (pause) We'll take it.
Monica: Then youd be going back and forth all the time, I mean it doesnt make any sense.
Joey: Hey! Now, Ive been watching some tapes, hows this? (In a British accent.) "Jessica Lockhart will never step foot in this place again! Ever!!"
Rachel: Really?! Arent you sweet! I gotta tell you though, I am, I am having the hardest time placing you. Oh-oh hang on! Did we umm, did we fool around at Lance Davis graduation party?
Rachel: Oh, hi! I would check your hand but... I'm sure you don't want to get my chicken disease!
Rachel: But I dont, hmm... (on phone) Oh, who approved that order?! (listens) Well there is no Mark Robbinson in this office. (to Sophie) Get me Mark on the phone!
CHANDLER: Well, doesn't the fact that I wore the bracelet even though I hated it say something about our friendship and how much it means to me?
Monica: I am not 'so'! OK, I was a teensy bit weird at first, but... I'll be good. I promise.
Chandler: Will power? I�ve watch home movies of you eating ding-dongs (?) without taking the tin foil off.
Sarah: A ten speed bike. But, Id rather have something my Dad couldnt sell.
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
Monica: Okay, so I'm responsible, I'm organised. But hey, I can be a kook.
CHANDLER: [being left behind] Oh that's all right fellas, I saw a kitchen this morning - on TV. Stop talking. OK.
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.
CHANDLER: Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program of denial and, and wetting the bed.
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
Phoebe: Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend.
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Rachel: Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer.
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Phoebe: Hi Phoebe Abott, Im your best friends daughter!
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
PHOEBE: I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again.
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
Monica: Limited seating?! (Screechingly) I am just one tiny person!
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Whitfield: (sits down) Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written.
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Phoebe: I�m starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I dont, I dont know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
CHANDLER: Oh, right, well yeah, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp.
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
Ross: He's unconscious, I think we'll be just fine!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
MONICA: Yeah, ours pretty much sucked, oh, but, I did run into little Stevie Fisher. Remember him?
Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think its like uh-a thing!
Sarah: Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, hed be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal.
RACHEL: Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman beause she's a professional.
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Rachel: What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra.