words in movies
Ross: Hey uh Mon, I saw the Porsche parked out front, can I get the keys? Thought Id take that bad boy out for a little spin.
Rachel: Wait a minute! (To Monica) You let Ross drive the Porsche and when I ask you, you say youre the only one whos allowed to drive it.
Joey: Saw the Porsche out there Mon, lookin good. When do I get to take that baby out again?
Phoebe: Ive never driven it! Okay? Not once! Okay once. Okay, I drive it all the time.
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe you lied to me.
Phoebe: Okay, I can fix this! Okay Monica, Rachel thinks all you can talk about is the wedding. (Rachel glares at her.)
Monica: Great! Well Rachel, the reason why I wont let you drive the Porsche is because youre a terrible driver. There! That wasnt about the wedding.
Ross: Look Rach if-if you want to go for a ride in the Porsche Ill be glad to take you for a quick spin around the block.
Rachel: Come on Ross give me the keys! Monica does not know what shes talking about! I am an excellent driver!
Rachel: I think shes checking out your beehive Ross.
Ross: Fine! Yknow what? It doesnt matter, because, if I remember correctly, there is a comb on the floor of the bathroom.
Chandler: Oh! Right. Umm, maybe thats because I didnt send him an invitation.
Chandler: I dont even know the man. Okay? Were not the close. I havent seen him in years.
Chandler: Well he doesnt have to know! Its not like we run in the same circles. I hang out with you guys, and he stars in a drag show in Vegas.
Phoebe: Ooh, I think I wanna trade circles.
Monica: So what! As long as hes not wearing a white dress and a veil I dont care.
Phoebe: Okay, I think I need to do some shopping. (Gets up and leaves.)
Ross: There is no way I am letting you drive this car! So why dont you just hand over the keys?
Ross: No ah-ah-ah! Do not start this car! (She starts the car.) Okay! Okay! I will give you twenty bucks if you get out of this car right now! (He looks for the twenty Rachel stole and doesnt find it.)
Phoebe: Yeah! Sure! Ooh, I left my purse up at Monicas. Ill be right back. (She goes to get it.)
Joey: Wow! Maybe uh, maybe you and I ought to get to know each other a little better.
Man: Sure, Id like that.
Jake: Yeah that would be great! Let me make sure Im not doing anything Tuesday. (He bends over to open his bag, when he does so his pants slide down his butt revealing a pink lace secret.)
Chandler: Are you serious?! I mean like eloping?! No more stupid wedding stuff?! No more these flowers or these flowers or these flowersThink of the money well save!! (Monica just looks at him.) Were not eloping. I love the flowers. Can our wedding be bigger please?
Monica: Were going to Las Vegas to see your dad. Its time you two talked, and I want to get to know my father-in-law.
Chandler: Yknow we already went over this and I won!
Chandler: Look forget it okay? I dont want to go. I dont want to see him. I dont wanna.
Monica: Chandler, look I-I know that your dad embarrassed you. I know
Chandler: No-no all kids are embarrassed by their parents, youd have to come up with a whole new word for what I went through. When I was in High School, he used to come to all of my swim meets dressed as a different Hollywood starlet. Yknow its hard enough to be fourteen. Youre skinny. Youre wearing speedoesThat your mom promised that you would grow into! And you look up into the stands and theres your dad cheering you on dressed as Carmen Miranda. We was wearing a headdress with real fruit that he will later hand out to your friends as a healthy snack!
Chandler: Yeah o-okay, but Im just doing this for you.
Chandler: So I really never get to win anymore?
Joey: Listen, you know how uh, when youre wearing pants and you lean forward I check out your underwear?
Joey: Well, when Jake did it I saw that he was wearing womens underwear!
Phoebe: I know. They were mine.
Phoebe: No, its not! We were just goofing around and I dared him to try them on.
Phoebe: Im wearing his briefs right now.
Phoebe: I think so too. And that little flap? Great for holding my lipstick.
Joey: Yeah, I wouldnt know about that.
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake! Okay? He is all man! Im thinking even more than you.
Phoebe: Im just saying that only a man completely secure with his masculinity could walk around in womens underwear! I dont think you could ever do that.
Joey: Hey! I am secure with my masculinity.
Rachel: God. I forgot how much I love driving. I have got to get my license renewed.
Rachel: I am not horsing around okay? I am Porsching around.
Ross: I was talking to myself! Youre going down!
Monica: Uh oh yeah, she did. Uh, he did. (To Chandler) She? (To the waiter) Im-Im sorry Im new. I dont
Chandler: Yeah, I just ordered a beer! (Pounds the table.)
Waiter in Drag: Youre straight. I get it. (Walks away.)
Monica: I still say that if we had called your dad we coulda gotten better seats.
Chandler: No! No! I dont want him to know were yet! Im not sure Im ready for that. And besides hes not gonna be too happy to see me either.
Chandler: I dont know if Ive told you this, but hes kinda tried to get in contact with me a lot over the last few years
Chandler: Yeah, hes made phone calls, written letters, he even came to New York, but I always said I was too busy to see him. Yknow its all very Cats in the CradleI dont want to get into it. (The show starts.) Here we go.
Rachel: Okay. Switch places with me! Switch places with me! Come on! Ill go under, you go over!
Ross: Yeah, Ill get right on that.
Ross: No Rach! Come on! No-no! Yeah, Im sure we wont get arrested for this.
Rachel: (sexily) Hi officer, was I going a little too fast?
Policeman: Can I see your license please?
Rachel: Oh yes, absolutely! Yknow, its weird uh, but I had a dream last night where I was stopped by a policeman. And then he uh well I probably shouldnt tell you the rest.
Rachel: Really?! You think so? Yknow, I had just rolled out of bed.
Policeman: Yes I am.
Rachel: I bet youre a Gemini.
Rachel: I knew it! I knew it, ahh .
Policeman: Well I tell you what
Rachel: I wont speed.
Rachel: I promise.
Ross: I can handle the stick!!
Helena: I feel pretty. Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and (She holds the mike out to the audience.)
Chandler: Believe me, Ive been saying that for years. Oh my God!
Helena: (singing) For Im loved by a pretty wonderful boy! (Applause.) Hello! And welcome to the show. I see some of our regulars in the audience. And a couple of irregulars. (He starts going into the audience.)
Helena: Im sorry? (Holds out the mike.)
Helena: No-no I heard! Im just sorry.
Chandler: It cant happen like this. Okay? Ill meet you back at the hotel.
Joey: Check it out. (He turns around, pulls down his pants, and shows Phoebe that hes got panties on.) How much of a man am I?!
Joey: Yknow, Im beginning to see what Jake was talking about.
Joey: Yeah! And-and things arent as smashed down as I thought they were gonna be.
Joey: Bikini, French cut, thong! And-and the fabrics! Youve got cotton, silk, lace! And yknow what Ive always wondered about?
Joey: Pantyhose! Yknow? They way they start at your toe and go all the way up to here (He mimed that and stops when he realized he went to far.) I should go take these off shouldnt I?
Phoebe: I think its important that you do.
Monica: Im-Im Monica.
Helena: Im not very fond of New York. Queens I like. (Noticing Monicas ring.) Ooh, what is this sparkle something! (Shows the audience who woos.) Honey! Huh?
Chandler: Actually Monica and I are engaged.
Helena: (disappointed) I see. Well, I wish you both a lifetime of happiness. (To a bald guy.) So youre bald?
Chandler: I know it would make me happy, maam.
Helena: Well I wouldnt miss it for the world. Oh! Im getting all misty here! Youd think I was having my legs waxed or something. (Goes back on stage.)
Helena: Before we go on with the show, I just want to say to the bride and groom how lucky they are to have found each other. In every life, a little rain must fall. Fortunately, in my life (Four guys wearing rubber boots, shorts, hats, and nothing else carrying umbrellas run onto the stage.) (Singing) Its raining men!
Chandler: (To Monica) When I was growing up I played the one on the far left.
Ross: What?! What does he want?! I wasnt doing anything!
Ross: Ah no. I dont, but it could not have been more than sixty.
Ross: I mean youre not gonna give me a-a ticket for driving too slow are ya?
Ross: Yknow of-officer I uh I had the weirdest dream last night
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Ross: I know. I know.
Joey: Yeah! Much! Listen uh, not that Im yknow insecure about my manhood or anything yknow, but I think I need to hook up with a woman like right now.
Phoebe: Yeah, I understand.
Joey: Yknow, you look familiar. Do I know you from somewhere?
Woman: I dont think so.
Joey: Oh! Maybe its because Im on television. Im an actor on Days of Our Lives.
Ross: No. Im saying its now. (He starts putting on his pants, backwards again.)
Monica: It's worse. The only thing that's getting me through is knowing that I'm gonna be seeing you soon. I think I may even try to get out of here early.
Chandler: Nope! Because Im not your boyfriend. (to Phoebe, whos entering) Hey Pheebs, how did it go?
Monica: I just wanted to say that I hope you do have sex tonight and I hope that you guys get back together, but I must warn you, the night that you announce your engagement Im going to announce that Im pregnant!
Rachel: (she goes towards the others and she's very excited) Guys, you're not gonna believe this! I was just saying goodnight to Emma and she said her first words!!
Rachel: I can do that. I certainly did it when we were going out.
Rachel: Well, I like you less!
Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is "boohaki" but we're all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And you're my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.
Monica: I am good. I finished my book.
JOEY: I fell down an elevator shaft.
Ross: I dont know. A month?
Joey: Kinda, but Ive just been having way too much fun.
Joey: Hey, Chan, can you help me out here? I promise I'll pay you back.
Joey: No, I dont think so.
Phoebe: Because I was ashamed ok? I sold out for the cash! And then they give me benefits like medical, and dental, and a 401K. But you know... you pay a price. Now I'm this Corporate stooge and punching a clock and Ugh! paying taxes!
Phoebe: Ugh! No! This is so hard! I went through this whole book (Holds up a book) and found nothing! I want a name thats really like, yknow strong and confident, yknow? Like-like Exxon.
Joey: Vell, Eva, ve've done some excellent vork here, and I vould have to say, your pwoblem is qviiite clear. (He goes into a song and dance number.)
Emily: I tell you, this wedding is not going to happen.
Rachel: Yes, they will! You know what you should do? Just go take a walk, all right? I know your size and I’m... I’m gonna pick up some really good stuff for you.
Amanda: Well, it was 1992, and I remember because that was the year I had sex with Evil Knievel (She starts laughing very proudly).
Rachel: Yes, Joey, I remember, she's annoying, but you know what she's-she's his girlfriend now. I mean what can we do?
Chandler: Im gonna call and get off work tomorrow!
Monica: Ohh. And I dont even have a date.
Phoebe: IRachel, you cant go! Ross loves Emily!
Ross: No. I think you misunderstood what I was saying. What I meant was
Joey: I am (Looks in his date book.) free!
Rachel: Yknow what? No. Its not over until someone says, "I do." (Exits)
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Mr. Geller: Ohh, I thought that you....
Mrs. Geller: I'm so glad you could come Chandler, we've got plenty of food so I hope you're hungry.
Joey: No, things are fine with Kathy. Im having a late dinner with her tonight, right after my early dinner with Casey.
Chandler: Im an alien. Im an alien.
The Stripper: You are really good at that. So uh, I had fun tonight, you throw one hell of a party.
Rachel: Come on apartment! Come on apartment! (Picks a card.) Oh! I know queen is high!
Ross: And, I dont know, if it starts to rain
Fat Monica: Umm, Chandler, if you want I can make you some macaroni and cheese for dinner.
Ticket Agent: And I do have one seat left.
Phoebe: What a mean thing to say! I would never tell you its not your birthday!
Ticket Agent: Im just going to need to see your passport.
Joey: Baby shower. Wow! That sounds sooo like something I dont want to do! Later! (Finally, he makes his exit.)
PHOE: No, you are not, you are very attractive. You know what, I go through the exact same thing. Every time I put on a little weight, I start questioning everyting.
Margha: I now find you shallow and um, a dork. All right, bye.
Chandler: I am, I actually am. I mean this is amazing. My entire life I have feared this place, and now that I'm here it's like what was the big deal. I could probably say 'Let's move in together.' and I'd be okay.
Ross: Okay! You guys are getting married tomorrow and-and I couldnt be more thrilled for both of you, but as Monicas older brother I-I have to tell you this. If you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her any unhappiness of any kind, I will hunt you down, and kick your ass! (Chandler laughs.) What? Im-Im-Im serious! (Chandler laughs harder.) ComeHey! Dude! Stop it! Okay? Im-Im not kidding here!
Phoebe: Oh, Im Phoebe Buffay. Im one of Rosss best friends.
CHANDLER: Alright, ok, alright. So I can't fire Joseph but uh, I can sleep with his wife.
Ross: Wow! Im honored! And yknow what Im gonna do as my first act as your best friend?
Mrs. Waltham: Oh, am I on the radio?
Monica: I was laughing. (Patting him on the knee.)
Monica: Well I didnt want everyone to think I was stupid.
Drunk Man: I just want to say that Ross is a wonderful young man.
Mr. Geller: Theres no way in hell, Im paying for it.
Monica: Ohh, Please?! Im a single mom, with a thirty year old son!!
Rachel: Hi, Im back. Listen, I need to...
Monica: Oh, my mothers right. Im never going to get married.
Ross: (Screaming) Im getting married today!! Whoo-hoo!!
Ticket Agent: I cant do that.
Ross: Im getting married, to..day!!
Chandler: I am totally picturing you with all those women!
Phoebe: (raises hand) Oh! I know! (Rachel startled) It's because... he's gorgeous, and he's charming, and when he looks at you...
Chandler: I dont want to look.
Monica: Ok. Hold on. (her mobile phone rings) Geller here! No! I said it has to be there by 4 o'clock. Goodbye. (she hangs up) Oh, how hard it is to make an ice sculpture?
Joey: (scores) Yes! I win again! Ha-ha! Thats like 500 bucks you owe me! Whoo-ho-hoo! (Goes over to the fridge and starts opening and closing the door rapidly.) $500 that is a loooot of electricity! (By the way, theres nothing in the fridge.) Whoo-ho-ho! (Notices the sparseness of the fridge.) I gotta buy some food.
Phoebe: I dont want to hear about her!!
Rachel: Op, I like credit cards!
Joey: I know! Thats why we got to find Monica!! You know where she is?
Rachel: But he has to know how I feel!
Phoebe: Hm, I mean maybe no-one ever really goes. Ever since my mom died, every now and then, I get the feeling that she's like right here, y'know? (She circles her hand around her right shoulder. Chandler, sitting on her right, draws back nervously) Oh! And Debbie, my best friend from junior high- got struck by lightning on a miniature golf course- I always get this really strong Debbie vibe whenever I use one of those little yellow pencils, y'know? ...I miss her.
Mrs. Waltham: I know, its horrible isnt it?
Ross: (annoyed) O-kay... I mean, don't I deserve anything? I mean, a few tears, a cursory hug? (Joey gives Ross a hug) NOT FROM YOU! (Joey lets go)
Mrs. Geller: I just hope...
Monica: Well, I love it. I only hope my wedding looks this good.
Chandler: I just wan't to...
Rachel: Excuse me, sir. Hi, you come in here all time. I was just wondering, do you think there's a possibility that you could give me an advance on my tips?
Chandler: I was shrieking... like a Marine.
[Scene: Central Perk, Joey, Fat Monica, and her boyfriend are sitting on the couch. Monicas boyfriend is getting up to get something. For future reference, for the rest of this episode Monicas fat, I wont be calling her Fat Monica throughout.]
Ross: You know what, I think weve had all the bad luck were going to have. (He hugs her.)
Ross: (British) Come again? Whats-whats this nonsense? (Giggles.) (American.) All right, Im-Im not English. Im from Long Island. I was really nervous and the accent just uh, just came out. Im sorry. So, if we could just get back to the lecture. Umm, were there any questions? (Everyone raises their hands) About paleontology. (They all put their hands down.) All right, look I was just trying to make a good first impression. Obviously, I screwed up. But what you guys think of me is really important because Im-Im hoping to get a permanent job here. So if you just give me another chance to make a good impression
Ross: Ill be right there. (He goes over and opens the door to Carol, Susan, and Ben.) (To Ben.) Hello! (To Carol.) Hello! (To Susan.) Hey. Uhh, Emily, this is Carol and Susan.
Rachel: Well of course we will help you decide! We will do anything we can to help you! Now, I would like to make a toast, to the future Mrs. Chandler Bing (A woman at the table behind them overhears Chandlers name and starts listening closer), my best friend, and truly one of the nicest people that
Chandler: Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"
Phoebe: Okay. Okay but you should know though, Ive raised my rates to $200 an hour.
Phoebe: No!! wait, wait, wait!! Oh please, hold it up so I can listen. (Joey looks at Ross and holds the phone above Rosss shoulder.)
The Saleslady: Yes! I have it right here. (Phoebe and Monica both gasp at the dress.) Would you like to try it on Ms. Waltham?
JOEY: It really hit me last night. I'm gonna be on Days of our Lives. And then I started thinkin' about all of u, and how these are the days of our lives..
Chandler: Im coming over tonight though, right?
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
Ross: I Ross...
Minster: Now Ross, repeat after me. I Ross...
Emily: I, Emily...
Ross: I Ross...
Joey: Oh, yeah?! Then how come I keep thinking about her in all these sexual scenarios and stuff huh?!
Ross: I, Ross
Phoebe: Before I start, I just wanna say that umm, I have a cold, so if I sneeze in the middle of song, it's not on purpose. Oh, except the last verse of Pepper People. (Starts to sing) Smelly cat, smelly cat. What are they feeding you? (Stops singing) This chick sounds good. (Singing) Smelly cat, smelly--(stops singing) Hey Gunther, be a good little boy and bring me a whiskey.
Minister: (Looking and feeling awkward. he looks towards Emily.) Uhh...Shall I go on?
Monica: I still don't get why Greg and Jenny would give us a fake number.
Emily: I hate you!!
Ross: And, I love you!! (He walks into the living room)
Rachel: Oh no-no-no! No, I got this all under control.