words in movies
Ross: Hey you guys I got some bad news. (He sets the stack of papers down on the table.)
Ross: No, Monicas restaurant got a horrible review in the Post. (They all gasp.) I didnt want her to see it, so I ran around the neighborhood and bought all the copies I could find. (He hands the paper to Phoebe and they all read it.)
Joey: Man, this is bad! And Ive had my share of bad reviews. I still remember my first good one though. (Quoting) "Everything else in this production of Our Town was simply terrible. Joey Tribbiani was abysmal."
Chandler: Im so sorry.
Monica: Im so humiliated!
Rachel: I didnt write it.
Monica: Is he right? Am I reallyAm I awful?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah Monica! You listen to me, okay? And Im not just saying this because Im your friend, Im sayin it cause its the truth. Youre food is abysmal!
Rachel: I am freaking out!
Ross: Okay look, I had a lot of water before I went to bed. Can we do this after
Rachel: Im serious.
Ross: (interrupting her) Okay. Okay. If uh, if youre gonna do this, then Im gonna do that. (Points to the bathroom.) So (Starts for the bathroom.)
Rachel: (stopping him) Oh, wait Ross! Im sorry, one more thing!
Rachel: Umm, our situation. Yknow umm, what we mean to each other. And I mean we-were having this baby together, and we live together. Isnt that, isnt that weird?
Rachel: Im just kidding! You can go pee! (He does so in a hurry.)
Joey: (entering) Hey uh Monica, I cant remember. Did we say we were gonna meet here or at the movies?
Joey: Okay, Ill see you there. (Starts to leave)
Joey: Sure, I can hang out til I have to meet ya. (To Chandler) What uhHow come youre not going?
Chandler: I have a job interview I have to get ready for.
Joey: I thought you already have a job.
Chandler: Thats what I do now.
Monica: Remember that guy that gave me a bad review? Well (Feeds him a spoonful of what shes cooking.) Im getting my revenge!
Monica: No. He teaches a course on food criticism at the New School, so before we go to the movies I wanna go by there and make him try my bouillabaisse again. Oh, I cannot wait to read the front page of the Post tomorrow! "Restaurant reviewer admits: I was wrong about Monica."
Ross: We are having a baby together, but were not involved. (The cashier, a very beautiful woman, looks confused) I mean, uh we-we were seeing each other a while ago, but then we were just friends. And then there was one drunken night. (Rachel looks at him angrily) Or, yes stranger, wed like this delivered please.
Cashier: I notice you picked out a lot of our dinosaur items.
Ross: I chose those, Im a paleontologist.
Rachel: Oh. Oh yeah, dont get to worked up over it. I mean it-it sounds like hes a doctor, but hes not.
Cashier: Oh no-no, Im fascinated by paleontology. Have you read the new Walter Alvarez book?
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Cashier: (looking at the completed address card) Oh, I love your neighborhood. Theres a great gym right around the corner from your building.
Cashier: I can tell you work out. (Ross is please and Rachel looks at him confused.) A paleontologist who works out, youre like Indiana Jones. (Rachel has a disbelieving look on her face.)
Ross: I am like Indiana Jones.
Rachel: No! Im not! I-I-I just think its wrong! Its-its that ImHere I am about to pop and hes out picking up some shop girl at Sluts R Us!
Chandler: Well, I got a job interview. Its kinda a big deal too. Its a lot more money and Id be doing data reconfiguration and statistical factoring.
Phoebe: Wait, I think I know someone who does that.
Chandler: Me! I do that. So Seriously, do I look okay? Im little nervous.
Phoebe: Yes, when I first met you, you were like, "Blah, blah, blah." I was like, shhh!
Chandler: What is it that I do?
Rachel: Chandler, Im not gonna lie to ya, but I am gonna run away from you. (Gets up and hurries out.)
Monica: Hi! Umm, Im Monica Geller, Im the chef at Alessandros.
Monica: I think the things that you said about me are really unfair, and I would like for you to give my bouillabaisse another chance.
The Food Critic: I dont see any reason why I would do that to myself again.
The Food Critic: Im torn, between my integrity and my desire to avoid a beating. But I must be honest, your soap is abysmal. (Throws down the spoon and walks out.)
Monica: I can.
Katie: Well, the delivery went out to you and I realized they forgot this. (A blanket.)
Katie: Oh uh I actually came here to ask you out.
Ross: Oh! Wow! Uh, yeah! That sounds great. Im just gonna put this (The money) back in my pocket, pretend that didnt happen. Uh yeah, actually Im free now. Do you wanna grab some coffee or
Ross: (To Katie) Yeah, Im just gonna grab my coat. And uh, and my whip. (Katie looks worried.) Yknow because of the Indiana Jones? (Katie laughs) Not-not because Im-Im into S&M. (Katies worried again.) Im not-Im not into anything weird. Yknow? Just-just normal sex. (Katie is uncomfortable.) So, Im gonna grab my coat. (Does so, leaving Katie and Rachel alone.)
Katie: Oh umm, actually I umm
Rachel: Oh okay, I see what youre doing there.
Chandler: I cant even believe this! I really come off that badly?
Chandler: Oh good. Good, because Im sure this interview is gonna last a couple of weeks.
Phoebe: I cant help you.
Phoebe: All right, all right, well just do our best. Okay? So lets say Im the interviewer and Im meeting you for the first time. Okay. "Hi! Come on in, Im uh, Regina Philange."
Chandler: Well you should meet my uncle, Bada. (Pause) Ill let myself out.
Monica: Oh no! I dont know anything about cooking. I had to ask someone what its called when the, when the water makes those little bubbles.
Monica: I-I-Im sorry, your-your mouth was full, I didnt hear what you said. Umm, hats off to who now?
Chandler: I think youll find if I come to work here, I dont micro-manage. I dont shy away from delegating.
Chandler: (suppressing a smile) What I do do is manage to uh, create an atmosphere of support for the people working with me.
Phoebe: I see. Nice sidestep on the do do thing by the way.
Chandler: Hardest thing Ive ever done in my life.
Monica: Wow! A star! (The class glares at her.) I know you all hate me and-and Im sorry, but I dont care.
Joey: I can an A? In-in school? (To Joey) Hey, Im a dork.
Monica: Joey! Im so proud of you!
The Cooking Teacher: I think you should give him your star.
Monica: I do! Im a professional chef! (The class gasps.) Oh relax! Its not a courtroom drama!
Monica: Im-Im sorry, its just that umm Well I-I cook at this restaurant, Alessandros, and umm I just got a really bad review
The Cooking Teacher: Oh Alessandros! I love that place!
Monica: Oh, Im totally crazy, but you-you like the food?
Monica: Okay then, I dont stink. Im a good chef. Okay. (Starts to leave.)
Joey: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! I dont want to go. Im having fun.
Chandler: also I was the point person on my companys transition from the KL-5 to GR-6 system.
Chandler: That I did. That I did.
Chandler: (trying not to laugh) I see.
Chandler: No dont I beg of you!
The Interviewer: All right then, well have a definite answer for you on Monday, but I think I can say with some confidence, youll fit in well here.
Chandler: Yeah I gotta say thank you, I was really nervous. Yknow Ive been told I come on to strong, make to many jokes, and then it was really hard to sidestep that duty thing. (The interviewer doesnt understand) Duties. (Still doesnt.) Duties! (Still doesnt.) Poo. (Still doesnt.)
Chandler: Ill look forward to your call. (Walks away.)
Rachel: Im fine, but thats not important. Whats important is how was she?
Rachel: No! No, shesShe was nice. I mean, shes a little slutty, but who isnt?
Ross: I liked her.
Rachel: I dont want you to date her!
Rachel: Yes! And not because I want you to go out with me, but because I dont want you to go out with anybody! Okay? I know its a terrible thing to even think this, and its completely inappropriate, but I want you to be at my constant beck and call 24 hours a day! Im very sorry, but that is just the way that I feel.
Ross: I wont date. Ill uh, Ill be here, with you, all the time.
Rachel: Really? But Im being so unreasonable.
Rachel: No, not really. Youre pressing the baby into my bladder and now I have to pee. Sorry. (She gets up and starts for the bathroom.)
Ross: We live together. Youre having our baby. Im not gonna see anybody else. Are you-are you sure you dont want something more?
Rachel: (pause) Wow! I dont know, maybe. Im
Ross: Oh-oh, Rach! I was just messin around! (Shes stunned) Like you did last night when I had to pee?
Rachel: (laughs) I knew that! I knew that! I was just messin with you too!
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Well I had a great time! Learned how to bake, ate great food, thats the first A Ive gotten since seventh grade, and I didnt have to sleep with the teacher this time.
Chandler: I am pretending.
Chandler: See, I told you they dont swim. (He goes to take it out)
Rachel: I ah, will buy and wrap all of your Christmas gifts.
Ross: You see Amanda and I have a very special...
Mr. Tribbiani: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the navy yard and show you the big ships?
Chandler: Oh its Bing, sir. Im sorry , I was just ah...
Gunther: I knew you'd understand.
Gunther: I don't know if you heard about what happened between me and Phoebe the other day_
Ross: I know!
Rachel: (getting up) All right, Im gonna make more margaritas! (She pours the rest of the pitcher into Rosss glass.)
Guru Saj: I am Guru Saj. (takes the drawer back and replaces)
Joey: (proud) I know, but, I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please?
Joey: Yeah! Well, now that you brought it up, our fridge is broken. We have to get a new one. Now, I checked around and your half is $400. Thanks a lot.
Joey: Come on man, just-just let the girls stay, Ill do whatever you want.
Emily: Oh no, no, right I shouldnt have said married. Uh, please dont go freaky on me. I didnt mean it. Well, I didnt say it; I take it back!
Chandler: Well, I have a call in about that.
Monica: I don't know.
Joey: Dont blame me, I saw it on The Discovery Channel.
Rachel: I know. (Hugs him more violently this time and pushes him back away from the letter.)
Phoebe: Well, I think it's great that the medical community is finally trying to help sick hamsters.
Joey: Oh, I know...
Gunther: I like it. (sneezes)
Chip: Amy Welch? Wow! I havent seen her since... So, Monica about ready?
CHANDLER: Now I know it's been awhile, but I took it as a good sign.
Ross: Now that is funny. Hey, do you think...would it be too weird if I invited Carol over to join us? 'Cause she's, she's alone now, and pregnant, and, and sad.
Monica: No. I hate this part.
Monica: Hey, Rachel, Can-can I see you for a sec?
Chandler: What a minute, I know that hat! I was taken aboard that hat! They did experiments on me! I cant have children!!
Joey: (sarcastic) Oh no this is devastating! My faith is shaken. Im so glad I have the new chair to get my through this difficult time in my life.
ROSS: Uh, hold, let me see, I don't know. So what're you gonna do. . . [doorbell rings]
Rachel: What? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't, I'm busy.
Rachel: What future boyfriends? Nono, I th- I think this could be, y'know, it.
Phoebe: I got married! (everyone applauds) Could someone get me a coat, I'm freaking freezing.
Monica: (On phone) Hi, Nancy. Hi, it's Monica Geller. I'm good. Listen, I'm looking for a job in Tulsa. Well yeah, my husband has been relocated...Because I love him! No, I don't want a job in New York. Javo (sp?) is looking? Oh my God! He asked for me personally? Oh my God! Oh, wow, this is really flattering, but I'm moving to Tulsa. Yeah, so if you would tell Javo (sp?) 'I'll take it!'
Phoebe: Or maybe he-he was writing to tell her that-that hes changed his name, yknow? Tell Monica Im sorry.
Joey: Look, Ross, I feel really bad. I mean, you're going through all this stuff and I just acted like a jerk.
Rachel: Monica, betting the apartment, I dont know about this.
Ross: What do you mean? Nothing happened! I had to get out of there.
Ross: I don't know. Soap?
Ross: No, I tried that. She says it has a weird smell.
Phoebe: (entering) Hi! It's me. And soup. (to Rachel) Hey, I just saw Josh, he looks so yummy in your leather jacket.
Joey: Our place, the hall! I...
Phoebe: Its so weird, I have never been fired from anything before!
Mr. Heckles: I left a Belgian waffle out here, did you take it?
Chandler: Y'know what, I think this might be one of the times hes wrong.
Monica: You know everything!! Oh wait, double or nothing. I bet you the baby is over seven pounds. (Phoebe isnt interested.) I bet you it has hair. (Shes still not interested.) I bet you its a girl.
Chandler: (in a deep voice) If I broke up with you, Id miss you.
Lydia: So how did you know I was even here?
Monica: Rachel, I have not missed one question the whole game. I own this game! Look at my hand. (Holds up her hand.)
Joey: I bet ya ya I could fit in there. (points to a hole in the center)
Chandler: Well Ive been playing it for like eight hours, itll loosen up. Come on, check out the scores. Oh, and also look at the initials, theyre dirty words.
Chandler: Okay! Okay! Let me try it again, youre gonna wanna date this next guy, I swear!
Ross: Oh my god! I'm so sorry, Cheryl. I must have freaked out.
Chandler: No-no-no-no-no-no-no!! I cant get myself right out of them! You must have me confused with the Amazing Chandler!! Come on, you have to unlock me, she could be gone for hours, and Im cold, and (Stops and looks up the skirt on a statue behind Joannas desk.)
Chandler: No-no-no! It is going to be okay, because Mrs. Braverman is gonna send away for a free one and that way we all win! The only losers are the big cheesecake conglomerate, (Reading the label) Mommas Little Bakery. (Pause) I feel terrible, Im a horrible, horrible, horrible person.
Rachel: You have! Ross, you should give yourself credit. I mean my Mom never thought this would work out. It was all, Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Rachel: I don't care that you left. I'm just glad that you're here. Thanks you guys!
Rachel: Well, why don't you talk to me about it, maybe I can help.
Carol: Oh, I love them. Each one's like a little party in my uterus.
Mr. Geller: Well, I dont know whats in the boxes down here, but I do know there are six or seven Easy Bake Ovens in the attic.
Monica: Maybe I can try at intermission? Phoebe, come on... you know what? Let's just go!
Joey: Id seen this thing on The Discovery Channel...
Joey: Great! All right, so Ill call you later.
Chandler: Yes, and I have to say, I am not just hurt. I am insulted. When I tell somebody I did something...
Ross: Well umm, yknow, I used to play.
Phoebe: I wanna hear "The Sound."
Joey: Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner.
Rachel: Nooo! Its not okay! I cant believe you would want to after what he did to me!
Ross: Really? No. I mean, nah, I havent played in so long, and-and, well its-its really personal stuff, yknow?
Ross: Really?! I mean, really?!!
Joey: No, no, no, see that's why you have to do this job, agents always lie. You know, Estelle just says stuff like 'They went another way', but this, I can use this. (in a very bad Italian accent) I canna work on a new accent.
Rachel: You guys are gonna love meee! Okay, check it out, Thursday night, five tickets, Calvin Klein lingerie show, and you guys are coming with me. (theyre all silent and look away) Okay, I said that out loud right?
Amy: You didn't want me to marry the old guy with the great apartment. Then, I tried to help your daughter to de-emphasize her flaws (frantically pointing at her nose) And suddenly I am the bad guy?
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Janice: Hello, Joey, our little matchmaker. I could just kiss you all over, and I'm gonna!
FBOB: I guess I'm saying, I'll try and quit. I kinda like that you worry about me. [they hug]
Ross: Y'know what I didnt wear this suit for a year because you hated it. Well, guess what? Youre not my girlfriend anymore so...
Rachel: Hey, yknow what? Im not waiting! Im gonna push this baby out! Im doing it! I mean its what? Three centimeters? Thats gotta be like this! (Holds her hands a couple inches apart.)
Chandler: Ill tell you what, I will go get them developed and you can go home.
Rachel: (looking around) Who are you talking too? Oh, youre kidding! Oh, its a joke! (Laughs.) Its funny. Its funny. I dont get it. (Joey doesnt say any thing and Rachel realizes its not a joke.) Oh. (Pause) Okay. Umm I-I uh, wow. Are you uh How did umm When?
Chandler: I could die.
Rachel: Oh well then, so Im just going to go back to talking to my friend here. And you can go back to enjoying your little hamburger.
Chandler: I thought your time ran out.
Chandler: Yeah, I think it is!
Kathy: Well, I could cut it.
Ross: Hmmm. Oh, no, no, I just thinking about something funny I heard today. Umm, Mark, Mark saying Ill see you Saturday.
Joey: Listen uh, could you put Kathy on, I wanna apologize.
Kathy: I forgot my purse.
Kathy: Im sorry. If you wanna pretend that nothing happened, I can try.
CHANDLER: Yeah I just... wanted to call and say hey.
Kathy: Chandler, I like Joey a lot, but with you
Phoebe: Oh no, Im not playing tonight.
Monica: (crying) So, I went down to the post office, and it turns out it was those videos that I ordered for Richard about the Civil War. He loved the Civil War.
Monica: Okay. Umm, y'know, I dont think, I dont think I told you this, but umm, I just got out of a really serious relationship.
Frank Jr. (looks at the triplets): Look at them! Aw. I love you so much. (Strokes Leslie's hair, and she moves a little.) Oh crap, don't wake up, don't wake up!
Rachel: When she sees that youre gone, shes gonna know that I let you out, and that I was in here, and Im gonna get fired!
Chandler: I sure did.
Ross: Well, as much as Id like to meet Josh and warn him, Emily and I arent going to be here. All right? I mean, shes going to come by first to say good-bye, and then Ive got a whole special evening planned. So Im sorry, no party.
Chandler: Oh, I dont know.
Joey: No-no-no, I think Im gonna see how things go with Kathy. Shes pretty cool.