words in movies
Chandler: (To Monica) Yeah, see, I can't pull of baby-doll can I?
Monica: No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea.
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
Monica: I think that is so great! When are you gonna ask her?
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
Monica: He just told me at the counter. He made me promise not to tell, but I couldn't hold it in any longer!
Phoebe: I can't believe this!
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Phoebe: I don't know. I'll just handle itI'll ask you to talk to him!
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Joey: Ohhh. I thought it was like Long Island.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: Oh, I-I, I think that's the first time I ever missed a meal! (Checks his pants.) Yeah, my pants are a little loose!
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Rachel: Noo! I wish! Okay, you ready?
Joey: That, is not a cat! {I have to agree with Joey on this one.}
Rachel: Well, it was a little extravagant, but I a pretty good deal.
Rachel: All right listen ball boys! My grandmother had one of these when I was a little girl and it was the sweetest thing! I mean it was so cute, it would sit in my lap and purr all day long, and I would drag a shoestring on the ground and he would chase it!
Ross: Free cats do that too, y'know. {Which reminds me, if I might get a little political here, support your local animal shelter. Pet shops are not the place to buy dogs and cats from, you get a much better deal from the shelter, plus they probably won't die on you in a week and a half. If you want a leash, go to the pet shop. If you want the dog for that leash, go to the shelter and save it's life. Now back to regularly scheduled programming.}
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
Joey: I have to pee. And Rachel's in the bathroom!
Joey: Man, I didn't think we were gonna make it!
Ross: I know! (Looks at the ball in his hands.) Don't switch hands, okay?
[Scene: the 5th Precinct, Gary's precinct, Chandler has come to talk to him about commitment. And as he's walking through the door he notices a couple of "Ladies of the night" sitting there. (If you know what I mean.)]
Chandler: It is a crime that you and I don't spend more time together.
Chandler: Well, I heard that you thinking about asking Phoebe to move in with you and I thought maybe, we should have a talk. Man to uh, me.
Gary: Yeah, I-I considered that. I just know it would make me happy.
Gary: No, I mean happy.
Chandler: I am trying to open your eyes, my man! Don't you see, if you lived with Phoebe she's always gonna be there. You're gonna get home, she's there. You go to bed, she's there. You wake up and oh yes, she's there!
Gary: I know! I can't wait!
Gary: Listen Chandler, the way I see it is that I was lucky enough to find someone that I really love. I justI wanna be around her as much as I can.
Chandler: Yeah, I think I do! Y'know what? You move in with her! You move in with her right now! Maybe I should in with Monica!
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
{Oh, all right! Geez, I can't have any fun!}
Monica: Joey, I left my watch on the counter last night. (Goes to the counter) It was right here, where is it?
Joey: I don't know.
Joey: Oh, I don't know . Yeah, can't do it.
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Rachel: Oh yeah, I got a cat.
Monica: I don't want a cat!
Rachel: You guys this cat is nothing like my grandmother's cat. I mean, it's not sweet, it's not cute, I even dragged that little string on the ground, and it just flipped out and scratched the hell out of me. And I swear, I know this sounds crazy, but every time this cat hisses at me I know it's saying, "Rachel!"
Rachel: Well, I was gonna let you play with it.
Chandler: Yes I did, and I think you should do it.
Chandler: Im sorry. (Pause) If you ask me, I'd move in with him.
Gary: (To Phoebe) Hi sweetie. (Kisses her.) Hi, can I talk to you for a second?
Gary: Y'know I really want to move this relationship forward.
Gary: I want you to move in with me.
Phoebe: That is so sweet. But don't you think it's a little too soon? I mean there's so much we don't know about each other.
Gary: (disappointed) Oh. Oh-oh-okay, I get it.
Phoebe: I justI don't want us to jump into something we're not ready for.
Phoebe: I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm justI'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Rachel: I tried! They won't take her back.
Rachel: Well, they said would but they would only give me store credit. I mean, what am I going to do, get a thousand regular cats?
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Gary: So am I!
Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!
Phoebe: I couldn't tell him no. He got so sad. Maybe it'll be all right. I do really like him a lot and probably do it eventually anyway and plus, think of all the money I'll save on stamps.
Phoebe: No, I just heard when people live together, they split the cost of stamps. Don't they?
Phoebe: No, as soon as something opens up we'll move right in. Unless it doesn't have a pool, I need a pool. (Turns away from him.)
Gary: Phoebe, can I talk to you for a second?
Phoebe: (sits down) Yeah, I feel great. 'Cause we're moving in together.
Phoebe: Yeah, uh-huh, there was nothing. (Pause) Can I get some water?
Gary: 'Cause uh, this is today's Post (produces one from the other chair) and uh, these are the listings I found. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, two bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, one bedroom. (Points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights, (points) Brooklyn Heights!
Phoebe: (looks at the paper) Are these for rent! I thought people were just bragging!
Gary: Let me tell you what I think might be going on. (Phoebe looks down in shame.) No-no-no, don't look at the table. Look at me. (Points to his eyes and she does so) Okay, I think somebody asked someone to move in with them. And I think someone said, "Yes" but now she's having doubts because things are moving to fast for someone. Does that sound at all possible to you?
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Gary: Phoebe, it's okay that you feel this way. I mean it is soon. And there's a lot of things we don't know about each other, and I just figure that everything I really like. And the things I don't know, I get to learn about at someplace with both our names on the mailbox.
Gary: Sweethart, but none of that matters if it's too soon for you. It's fine! We don't have to move in together. I justI want you to be happy
Phoebe: No, I really wanna live with you! I wanna move in with you!
Phoebe: Oh wait, one sec. One sec. (Goes to the mirror) Hey you! Behind the glass! Who are you looking at! I've always wanted to say that when I was in one of these rooms, (sees the look on his face) which was never!
Woman No. 1: (laughs) No, I hate cats.
Woman No. 2: Maybe. I was thinking about getting a cat, I was just going to go to the shelter (Good for her) but Okay, why not?
Woman No. 2: I thought you wanted to adopt your cat.
Rachel: Well, I do, but you're just gonna have to actually look at this as more of an investment than a cat.
Woman No. 2: Okay, yeah, I just wanted a cat. (Starts to leave.)
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Joey: I don't know who made you the boss? All right? We (Ross and him) invented this game!
Monica: Please! I made this game what it is.
Ross: I am!
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
Gunther: (entering with the cat) I just came for the red-velvet pillow.
Gary: I really like waking up with you.
Phoebe: I like waking up with you too. (Looks out the window) Oh! It's such a beautiful morning. (Some birds are singing outside the window) Oh, I can stay here all day.
Phoebe: (catches it) Nah, I don't feel like playing. (She sets the ball down on the table and everyone gasps.)
Monica: It's okay. It's okay. Just pretend that it didn't happen! Okay? No one needs to know! I mean, Phoebe's not an official ballplayer! I mean, only official ballplayers can drop the ball!
Ross: I know. My arm is killing me.
Rachel: No, I meant with the dropper over here. (Points at Chandler.)
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Ross: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Ross: Oh, nothin much. Just trying to figure out what Im gonna do for dinner.
Wendy: Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.
Phoebe: Okay, here I wish you health and happiness. (She hands Monica a cookie in a plastic baggie.)
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Chandler: I sent them home.
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Chandler: I don't know!
Joey: Hey Monica its Joey. Listen uh, Phoebe and I smell gas comin from your apartment.
Ross: Yeah. You see my-my sister makes these amazing turkey sandwiches. Her secret is, she puts a, an extra slice of gravy soaked bread in the middle; I call it the Moist Maker. Anyway, I-I put my sandwich in the fridge over here
Richard: on the rocks with a twist? I remember. (Goes to make her drink.)
Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
The Director: Look Joey, theres nothing I can do. Besides, youre probably gonna be out by four anyway. Weve just got one short scene. Its just you and Richard, and God knows hes a pro. Youll be fine. (Walks away and sees Richard entering.) Morning Richard.
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Phoebe: All right, Im gonna close my eyes and point to someone, and you, whoever I point has to come up with something fun for us to do, and we have to do it.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Monica: I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Chandler: I don't think so.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Joey: (looks at a girl walk in) see ordinarily I would talk to her, but my confidence is shaken did I sleep with her? Did I not sleep with her?
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
Rachel: Well of course I do! But yknow, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean youre up against the guy who survived his own cremation.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
ALISON: Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted"?
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
Chandler: (realizing) I have *not* thought this through!
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.
Bob: Toby! Im not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler!
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Monica: Chandler, please dont think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel
Chandler: I don't have a *job*!
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Rachel: I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out!
Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.
Part I Written by: Michael Borkow Part II Teleplay by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Story by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Part I Transcribed by: Eric Aasen Part II Transcribed by: Aaron D. Miller
Gavin: Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous?
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
CHANDLER: So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you?
Ross: I am, yes.
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!
Chandler: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe.
Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.
Rachel: Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you.
Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Mike: No, I think you're sweet.
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Larry: Well, I suppose I could give him a warning.
Rachel: Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up?
Rachel: Okay fine, I did. But I didnt see anything, I swear.
Monica: No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright?
Chandler: Im not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese?
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
Gavin: I really mean it.
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
Phoebe: Listen, I think I've left something here.
Gavin: I do have feelings for you.
Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didnt think you were coming.
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.