words in movies
Ross: Oh, Ill have some!
Monica: I dont know, my hand feels weird. I guess its because, Im engaged! (Shows off the ring.) How long before it starts getting annoying?
Chandler: Oh, I got some thoughts on that.
Ross: Oh my God, the wedding book?! I havent seen that since the forth grade!
Ross: And that should conclusively prove that I had the idea for Jurassic Park first! Now lets take a look at (Phoebe rushes in.)
Phoebe: I need to talk to you, its pretty urgent. Its about Monica and Chandler.
Phoebe: Well, umm, not much. But, I was just thinking that since those guys just got engaged that maybe it would be nice if they had some privacy, yknow? So, could I just move in with you for a couple days?
Phoebe: Oh yeah it is! Im going to the movies and it starts in like five minutes.
Ross: Do you realize I have a classroom full of students?
Phoebe: (to the students) Oh, Im sorry. Im so rude. Does anyone want to come to the movies?
Monica: All right, so I havent cleared the budget with my parents yet, but tell me how this is for music.
Chandler: Well, you couldnt get them anyway. Ian doesnt plan anymore and Derrick (Off of Rachel and Monicas looks) And Derrick is a name I shouldnt know.
Chandler: Now, do I get to look at this book or is it just for people who are actually involved in the wedding?
Monica: Of course you can look at it! Yeah, I want your opinion too!
Chandler: Definitely roses. (Monica and Rachel exchange a look.) Well, I just think theyre a little more weddingy. (Monica holds the Lily picture closer to him.) But Lilies are the clear choice.
Joey: (sitting up again) Guys! Guys!! You gotta let me nap! Ugh, Im gonna get cranky!
Joey: All right, Im gonna go! (Gets up and heads for the door.)
Joey: I dont know! But he did not eat your face cream!
Phoebe: Im sorry, Im with a client right now.
Phoebe: Whats the big deal? I did it at Monica and Chandlers!
Ross: Look, this is my home and I want to be able to come and go whenever I want!
Phoebe: Okay, I will find someplace else to do the rest of my appointments. I just dont know what the big deal is!
Ross: The big deal is I dont want naked, greasy strangers in my apartment when I want to kick back with a puzzlebeer! Cold beer.
Joey: Huh. What if I was sweeping a chimney?
Joey: Yeah I did!
Joey: Okay, look Im sorry, I went in there to take a nap and I know I shouldnt have, but you got porn!
Rachel: Hey-hey, yknow what? I dont care! Im not ashamed of my book. Theres nothing with a woman enjoying a little erotica. Its just a healthy expression of female sexuality, which by the way, you will never understand. (She goes into her room.)
Ross: Can I, can I help you with something?
Woman: Well, I dont know. Are you a masseur?
Ross: (deadpan) Yes I am.
Woman: Great! (Calls down the hall) Dad! (Her old father walks in.) Thank you so much, Ill be back to pick him up in an hour. (She walks away.)
Chandler: Oh yeah, I should probably call them.
Mr. Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Chandler: Oh, I dont think I ever heard that story.
Mr. Geller: (ignoring her) Well, Id gotten Judy pregnant. I still dont know that happened.
Monica: Anyway, were really excited about our wedding plans, and well I guess pretty soon well be making a big withdrawal from the Monica wedding fund. (Chandler and her laugh, but her parents dont.) What?
Mrs. Geller: You tell her Jack, I cant do it.
Monica: I dont believe you spent my wedding fund on the beach house!
Monica: You bought the beach house when I was 23!
Monica: What about when I started dating Chandler?
Chandler: Clearly I did not start drinking enough at the start of the meal. (Starts to make up for lost time and takes a big swig of his drink.)
Monica: I cant believe it! That there is no money for my wedding?!
Mr. Geller: All right, enough! I dont want to hear about it anymore! (Under his breath) Good luck, Chandler. (Chandler takes another drink.)
Ross: Okay! Now, Im going to touch you. (He does so, very gingerly.) Ohh, thats soft. (He starts poking him and notices his salad spoons and starts to massage him with those.)
Monica: I cant believe this. Do you think that your parents could help pay for it?
Chandler: I dont know, my mother spent most of her money on her fourth wedding. Shes saving the rest for her divorce. And any extra cash my father has he saves for his yearly trips to (Pause) Dollywood.
Rachel: No, yknow what? Its gonna be okay. I mean you dont have to have this rustic Italian feast. Yknow? And-and you dont need, you dont need this custom-made, empire waisted, duchess, satin gown; you can wear off the rack. (She starts to cry, as does Monica.)
Monica: How? I dont have any money.
Chandler: Well, I have some.
Monica: (To Chandler) How great are you, you little saver?! I mean, the-the amount you have is exactly the budget of my dream wedding!
Chandler: Well, come on, Ive been saving this money for six years and I kinda had some of it earmarked for the future, not just for a party.
Chandler: No, I realize that honey, but Im not gonna spend all of the money on one party.
Chandler: Look, I understand, but I have to put my foot down. Okay? The answer is no.
Chandler: Yes, I am!
Phoebe: Wow, money and a firm hand. Finally a Chandler I can get on board with.
Rachel: Uh-huh, I get it, smoke, chimney, chimney sweep, very funny, ha-ha.
Joey: No-no-no, Im serious. You dont smell it? Somethings on fire.
Rachel: Well no, I dont smell anything.
Ross: (takes a drink) Damn, this coffees cold! Hey Rach, do you mind if I heat this up on your loins? (Joey and he both laugh.)
Rachel: Yknow, I can not believe you told him, Joey!
Ross: So I guess you bought that book after we broke up huh?
Rachel: Uh-huh, yeah I did, because I wore out my first copy when I was with you. (Exits.)
Ross: (chases her) Oh yeah, yeah? Well uh, when we were going out, I read tons of porno magazines! (Realizes a table of women overheard him.) (To that table.) Sup?
Ross: (looking at the table) Excuse me ladies. (To Phoebe) Im sorry?
Ross: (incredulous) I gave him an extremely professional massage!
Ross: Okay, so it wasnt uh, a traditional massage. But I did give him accu-pressure with a pair of chopsticks. And, and I gently exfoliated him with, with a mop.
Ross: He said he liked that!! Oh youre right, youre right. Im sorry.
Monica: Listen umm, Ive been thinking, its not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and Im sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Yeah, Im putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy then, then thats what were gonna do.
Monica: No, I want everything you just said. I want a marriage.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.) Hey listen umm, when, when you were talkin about our future you said cat, but you meant dog right.
Rachel: (sarcastically) Yeah. Look Joey, its enough all right?! You keep making these stupid jokes and this sleazy innuendoes and itsIm notits just not funny anymore!
Joey: All right, Im sorry. Rach IRach Im sorry. Okay? Im sorry! Maybe I can make up for it by, taking you roughly in the barn. (Giggles.)
Rachel: (starting to move closer to him) Thats right, I wanna do it with you! Ive been trying to fight it, but you just said all the right things.
Rachel: (moves the stool out of the way) Yeah! Ohh, Ive been waitin so long to get on that body!
Rachel: Oh, come on now, dont keep me waiting. Get those clothes off! But, I would keep that helmet on because youre in for a rough ride! (He backs into the door.)
Joey: I dont want to, Im scared.
Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron.
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
David: That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-its actually of Lenin. But, yknow at certain angles
Rachel: Wow. I, I dont even know what to say. Thank you. (Gently kicks him.)
Leslie: I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm....
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise.
Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"?
Phoebe: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Tag: Okay I understand. (Sits down.) I wouldnt want to be proved wrong either.
Carol: Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) Miss, I can't let you off the plane.
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.
Chandler: And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others.
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Ross: (looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Chloe: Do I know why were rushing?
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...
Phoebe: Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that Im thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Bitter lady: Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh?
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "Im with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "Im lost and I cant find food."
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Monica: Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife.
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Ross: Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.
SECURITY GUARD: Yeah, and I have a time share in the Pocanos with Flipper.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Roy: I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin)... is all man.
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Joey: (Putting his arm around her.) Im not going anywhere, sweetheart.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.