words in movies
Ross: Hey! I just got uh, my teacher evaluations! Check out what this one student wrote, "I loved Dr. Gellers class. Mind blowing lectures! Dr. Geller, you are definitely the hottie of the paleontology department!"
Ross: Oh, I wish I knew, but the evaluations are all anonymous.
Ross: Its a girl! Anyway, it wouit wouldnt matter. Okay? Because Im a teacher and shes a student.
Chandler: I see.
Ross: I know when Im 90 shell be like 80 and it wont seem like such a big difference.
Joey: No thats not what I was going to say at all. No, what I was going to say is when youre 90 youll still have the memory of what it was like to be with a 20-year-old.
Chandler: Oh, I dont know man. I havent talked to her in like ten years.
Chandler: Oh okay, Ill-Ill try.
Joey: All right! Thanks! Youre the best! Now listen, the last day of auditions is Thursday. Okay? So I gotta get in there by Thursday. Okay? Just remember Thursday. Thursday. Can you remember Thursday?
Rachel: (entering from the bathroom) Hey Mon? Im gonna check my messages.
Rachel: Well, he didnt say, but it was a fire. Im guessing not very good. Come on, we gotta go!
Joey: The part I want to audition for is a fireman, this is so meant to be!
Elizabeth: I wanted to say how much I enjoyed your class.
Elizabeth: Uh, Im a little embarrassed about calling you a hottie on my evaluation
Elizabeth: Yeah. I felt a little weird about it. Youre a teacher. Im a student. But would you maybe want to go out with me sometime?
Ross: Oh I, I dont-I dont think that would be the best idea.
Elizabeth: Oh, because I was thinking, the semesters over; youre not my teacher anymore.
Elizabeth: Im kidding!
Joey: (to the fireman) Hey buddy, do you think I can borrow your uniform this Thursday?
Phoebe: Oh, its bad. Its really bad. The only thing in there that isnt burned is an ass. Which I do not remember buying!
Rachel: Fine! Im sorry for your loss! (Hands it back to her.)
Rachel: (stands up) Wow! Oh-okay, look pal, I am not in the mood to be hit on right now! But if you give me your number I will call you some other time.
Phoebe: No, not usually. But yeah, I could use one right now.
Phoebe: Yes! I do! All the time! I love them! Oh my God! I did it! Its me! Its me! I burned down the house! I burned down the house!
Rachel: Okay Phoebe calm down, theres no need to place blame. Okay? (To the fireman) I warned her about those candles.
Chandler: God, its great to catch up! I cant believe how long its been!
Chandler: (on phone) Hi! Im back. (Goes to hang up the phone.) Yeah, that sounds great. (Listens) Okay. Well, well do it then. (Listens) Okay, bye-bye. (He hangs up the phone and turns around to see Joey standing close to him and screams.)
Joey: Hey listen, so whens-whens my audition? I mean I know its Thursday, but what time?
Chandler: (To Joey) We didnt get to the audition. Im gonna take her to coffee and then well do it then.
Chandler: Honey, it is not a date! I havent talked to her in ten years! You cant just call up somebody you havent talked to in ten years and ask them for a favor. There are rules, yknow? You gotta, you got to put in some time.
Monica: Youre right, Im sorry. Its not like youre yknow, going out with an ex-girlfriend.
Monica: All right, well why dont I go out with an ex-boyfriend and do Joey a favor?!
Dana: Yknow who I ran into from school? Howie.
Chandler: Yeah, Ive always hated that Howie.
Dana: No, no "How you doing?" Man, I mean not even a cup of coffee first!
Monica: Now, this is last minute so I want to apologize for the mess. Okay?
Rachel: Oh my God! It sure didnt look this way when I lived here.
Monica: I know! Now look, theres only one problem though. Theres only room for one, so I guess one of you will have to stay at Joeys.
Phoebe: Well, since the fire was kinda my fault I guess (To Rachel) you should get to stay here.
Monica: So Rach! Youre the first guest at Hotel Monica! Umm, youll just have to tell me how you like your eggs in the morning. And I thought I would bring them to you, yknow, in bed. Oh, you have been through so much.
Rachel: I have.
Joey: This right here is where I keep the pizza. (He points to the chair.) And uh thats where the napkin is. (Points to the floor next to the chair.)
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
Ross: What? Of course I did! You uh, you sat next to Sleepy Sleeperson.
Ross: Oh uh, I had trouble remembering everyones name, so I-I kinda came up with nicknames. Like the guy on the other side of you was Smelly von Brownshirt.
Ross: Listen, I gotta tell ya, I-Im having a great time! Yknow how before you said it might be weird, the whole student teacher thing, and to be frank I thought it would be too, but its not. I mean its not at all.
Rachel: I did.
Rachel: I did, Monica was so sweet she left a little mint on my pillow.
Phoebe: Yeah I know, it was my candle. My candle!
Phoebe: I dont use a curling iron.
Joey: This is where I keep the pizza. (Its the same location as before.) AndHey! Where did the napkin go?! (The napkin is not in its spot.)
Monica: Now there you go! I wouldnt want my best guest to strain her eyes!
Phoebe: What the smell from Joeys? No, I can hardly smell it over here.
Monica: Well you let me know if you can, because yknow I can bake a pie to cover it.
Phoebe: I can smell it a little, bake the pie.
Joey: (in a funny voice) Yeah, so it turns out that it wasnt the hair straightener that started the fire. (Rachel prompts him on what to say next.) No-no, it was the candles. Its very not good leaving candles unattended. In fact, one of the first things they teach you in fire school is (Phoebe suddenly enters.) Uhh Uhh Okay. Well, I have to go now. (Phoebe leaves.)
Ross: We had such a great time! Shes-shes incredible! I thought the-the age difference might be a problem, but it wasnt. It wasnt at all. Elizabeth is very mature for her age. (Joey makes the international sign for big boobies.) (To Monica) A concept lost on some people!
Ross: Well, not really. I mean technically its-its not against the rules or anything, but it is frowned upon. Especially by that professor we ran into last night, Judgey von Holierthanthou.
Ross: Yeah. What-what should I do?
Joey: Well Ross, it seems pretty clear. I mean whats more important? What people think or how you feel, huh? Ross, you gotta follow your heart.
Joey: Hey-hey-hey! So, how did it go with Dana? Any reason I should leave a block of time open say Thursday?
Chandler: I couldnt do it.
Chandler: Hey, relax I just need more time. Were going to dinner tonight.
Dana: Wow. Oh, I am really flattered, but I just I dont feel that way about you.
Dana: Im sorry Chandler, yknow you are such a sweet guy and I, I dont want to hurt you. Oh, I wish there was something I can do to make you feel better.
Chandler: (breaking up) Well, it just hurts so bad. I uh
Dana: Ohh, Im sorry.
Chandler: Well, I umm, I mean this is just off the top of my head now, umm but I have this friend. This actor friend and he would kill me if he thought I was doing this umm, but umm would it be possible for him to get an audition for your movie say on Thursday?
Chandler: Well, the heart wants what it wants. Ill see you later. (He runs off and leaves her with the bill, which the waiter promptly delivers.)
Monica: Yes it has! I made cookies!
Phoebe: Oh thats all right. Im still full from your homemade potato chips.
Phoebe: (gritting her teeth) Okay, Ill be out in a second.
Rachel: Ive never lived like this before.
Joey: I know.
Joey: All right, dont waste it, I mean its still food. (He picks it up and eats it.)
Elizabeth: Uhh, I cant.
Elizabeth: No, I have some turning 21 to do.
Ross: Yknow I remember when uh, when I was in college, we used to (He sees some of his colleagues enter and puts his head on her lap.)
Ross: Nothing, Im-Im just, Im so comfortable with you!
Ross: What? No! Of course, of course I do! Are-are they gone?
Elizabeth: Uh no, theyre still here but I think Im about to leave.
Ross: What?! No! No! Wait! Youre right, this is stupid. Who cares what people think? I mean, I mean we like each other right? Theres nothing wrong with that. Come on. (They get up and go over to the table where his colleagues are sitting.) Burt? Lydia? Mel? This is Elizabeth.
Rachel: I love it at Joeys!
Joey: Oh, very funny. I dont know if you remember, but my audition was supposed to be Thursday. (Chandler doesnt say anything until Joey figures it out.) You got me the audition?! Lets hug it up! (They hug.)
Phoebe: (To Rachel) Listen umm, yeah okay, I need to talk to you!
Phoebe: Now I know that they said that the umm, the hair straightener started the fire but I think Im partly at fault. You see, I didnt, I didnt tell you but umm, but I-I had recently refilled the tissues and so yknow lets just face it, thats just kindling! So I think its better that I stay at Joeys.
Rachel: No, no-no-no. Phoebe, this was my fault and besides yknow what? Im fine here.
Chandler: No! No! No! I was so careful! (Runs out.)
Rachel: No! No! Phoebe, come on! I dont want to switch! Please come on! I can throw wet paper towels here!
Rachel: I know. Im sorry.
Ross: Wow! It actually is in the handbook. I cant date you or have a hot plate in my office. I cant believe we have to stop seeing each other.
Elizabeth: For what its worth I did appreciate you standing up for me. It felt really nice. It kinda made me like you even more.
Ross: I know, I know I really like you too. But we-we cant date. Its against the rules. Its forbidden.
Phoebe: Yeah I know what I wanted to ask you. Um, can you roll your tongue? Because I can, and my Mom couldnt, and I thought y'know, I figured that was something I got from our Dad.
Monica: Um, well, I was going to, I-I-I really was. But um, then somewhere, just out of nowhere, I didnt.
Joey: I told you not to move it! Rach, how would you feel if say, I wanted to move you mom, and you said dont, and I did it anyway and her head fell off?
Chandler: Well, I like danger.
Joey: Yes, but in Drake Remorays body. (Ross laughs unbelievably.) Why is this so hard for you to get? I thought you were a scientist!
Phoebe: Ewww! And "Oh no!" Itsthey just want me to be the surrogate. Its her-its her egg and her sperm, and Im-Im just the oven, its totally their bun.
Chandler: And I was a perfect gentleman and I walked her to her hotel room and said goodnight.
Ross: (worried) Dude, I need to talk to you a sec.
Ross: Okay, I think I might know why my parents dont like you.
Rachel: Man! He just keeps lobbing them up and I just keep knocking them right out of the park!
MONICA: Joey they're not real. I start miles beneath the surface of these things, ok, they're fake. See [squeezes her breast] honk honk.
Monica: Actually there is. Chandler usually helps me with this, but hes really into the game so I dont want to bother him. Could you help me fold these napkins? (Hands her a stack of them.)
Monica: I'm his sister, okay? I love him! I don't want to see him get hurt! Come on! Doesnt that give me the right to control himhelp him?
Ross: How was I supposed to know wed end up being friends after college, let alone you-you would be living with my sister?
Monica: You know, I knew a girl in high school who did that. She was very popular. (Chandler laughs.)
Ross: I dont know, I-I was all high.
Chandler: Very, very funny, but don't say things like that in front of Monica. I don't want you putting any ideas in her head.
Joey: Thats what that was?! Cause that other thing? I thought you were on to something, but it did nothing for me.
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time! DENISE!!!!!
Joey: Uhm... ok... uhm... Well, yeah... You have got some nerve, coming back here. I can't believe you never called me.
Monica: Ross, if you dont tell them, then I will!
Rachel: (sarcastically) No, I did, but tell me again, because its so romantic.
Joey: Ross! Can I talk to you for a second?
Joey: Oh I am!
Joey: Wow. Hey look, if it helps, I dont want to feel this way. Honest. I just keep thinking, "Ah, Ill get over this." Yknow? I justIt just keeps gettin harder. I dont, I dont know what to do. Yknow? What do I do?
Rachel: Oh yeah, I got a cat.
Pete: Im fine! Id fight tonight, if theyd let me. (stands up and starts swinging his arms) See this circle Im marking off here? This is my zone of terror.
Ross: I wonder how I would react under fire, y'know? And not backfire but-but heavy fire, like I was in a war or something.
Rachel: Yeah, remember that thing I told you that happened yesterday? Well it didnt happen.
Chandler: Yeah, Im not gonna pay for those acting classes anymore.
Rachel: Oh, I thought you guys meant marijuana cigarettes, y'know? Y'know what I mean, like dubbies? And I actually, I thought to myself, "Wow, those guys are crazy!" But no, I actually smoke the regular ones all, all the time.
Monica: Oh y'know what? If you're gonna be acting like this all night, I really, I don't even want to be around you.
Chandler: Here's the thing, Janice. You know, I mean, it's like we're different. I'm like the bing, bing, bing. You're like the boom, boom, (Chandler flails his hand out and hits Janice in the eye)... boom.
Ross: (interrupts) No, no, no I don't want to know, don't want to know. Ok, you know, I should probably, I should probably just go.
Joey: I like it.
Mr. Geller: (also lying) Ill help you dial.
Ms. Geller: I understand, separation is hard. One time I was about to leave Ross to go to the beauty parlor and he got so upset, he took off all his clothes, tucked his ??? between his legs and cried out: �Mommy, I�m a girl, take me with you.�
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Phoebe: No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they dont like you. Im sorry.
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Rachel: Im talking about a bet, winner takes all.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Ross: Im sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square.
Joey: I like her so much!
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Janine: Yeah, thats what I said.
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now shes like OLD NEWS!
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Chandler: I dont think so.
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Ross: Oh my God its just like I dreamed it!
Joey: That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad?
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, Im right here.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
Chip: Not so good, Simmons and I gave him a wedgie.
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
Monica: Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.
PHOEBE: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again.
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
RACHEL: Oh god. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I werent wearing underpants?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Tall Guy: No I dont think so.
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
Phoebe: I cant have any. You know I dont eat meat. (Faking dissapointment.) Ohhh no.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!