words in movies
Joey: No-no, I cant! I cant! Not after the other night, its just its too weird, okay? Dont tell her Im here! (Turns to run to the bathroom and his bagel falls off the plate onto the floor.) Dont eat that! (Runs to the bathroom as Rachel enters.)
Chandler: I dont see him. (To Monica) Do you see him?
Monica: I dont see him. Hey! Maybe hes in the sugar bowl! (Opens the sugar bowl) Joey? Nope! (Closes the sugar bowl and they both laugh.)
Rachel: Well, I havent seen him since that night that he told me how he yknow I dont know, I think hes avoiding me. Why is that bagel on the floor?
Rachel: All right. Well listen, if you see Joey will you just tell him uh tell him I miss him. (Exits and Joey enters.)
Joey: Yeah, a naked bagel game? (Picks up his dropped bagel.) (To Chandler) Dude, I dont know. Thats a pretty small hole.
Joey: I cant! Yknow? You guys dont know what its like to put yourself out there like that and just get shot down.
Chandler: (incredulous) I dont know what thats like?! Up until I was 25 I thought the only response to, "I love you," was, "Oh crap!"
Monica: Hello? No rejection? I got shot down at fat camp! Boy, kids are mean when theyre hungry.
Joey: All right so, so what do I do?
Monica: This is Rachel. I mean, what are you gonna do, never going to talk to her again? I mean I know its weird, its awkward, but you gotta at least try.
Joey: Yeah. Okay. (Goes to take a bite out of the previously mentioned bagel.) Whoa! (Stops.) I almost forgot this was on your
Phoebe: Okay, so when youre done with your tea Ill look at your leaves and tell you your fortune.
Chandler: I didnt know you read tea leaves.
Phoebe: Oh yeah, Ive done it for years. I actually stopped because I was so accurate. Yknow, and-and yknow, one of the great joys of life is its-its wondrous unpredictability. Yknow? And also tea tends to give me the trots.
Monica: Okay, Im done. Read mine.
Phoebe: Okay. (Looks at the leaves.) Ooh, I see a ladder. (Checks the book) Which can mean either a promotion or a violent death.
Rachel: Okay, Im done. Do mine.
Phoebe: Okay. (Reads the leaves) Umm, oh! Okay, I see a circle.
Rachel: Well, I have been spending a lot of time in the lab.
Phoebe: Umm Wow, all right. (Checks the book.) Wow! Yay! Ooh, Im gonna meet a guy! And really soon! And hes gonna be the man of my dreams. Probably not the guy I had a dream about last night. (Points at Chandler.)
Ross: Great! Great. Then I mustve left it at Monas. I knew it!
Chandler: Well, Im sure you get another one at Ann Taylors.
Ross: Thats my favorite shirt! Okay? I love that shirt!
Ross: I dont know. I mean I-I guess I could. Its just that we didnt really end things such good terms. And if I go over there Id be ignoring the one thing she asked me to do when we broke up, jump up my own ass and die. (Walks away.)
Phoebe: (noticing a guy sitting by the green post looking at her) Oh wait a second you guys for the last couple weeks Ive been that guy everywhere I go. We take the same bus. We go to the same bookstore, the same dry cleaners; maybe hes the tea guy. (He gets up to leave, and smiles at Phoebe.)
Rachel: So I thought Joey and I would be okay once we hung out, but its not even like we know how to be with each other anymore.
Chandler: I know its tough now, but things will get better.
Chandler: Im not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese?
Chandler: Lets just say if I cant find the right CD case I just put it in the nearest one.
Chandler: Honey, Im gonna save you some time, 200 CDs, not one of them in the right case.
Monica: Hmm, I dont know. We really have to talk this through.
Rachel: Oh my God!! You guys have such problems!! I feel so terrible for you!
Monica: Yeah, like I dont know, maybe you have a work problem that you need his advice on.
Rachel: Ooh, I can do that.
Monica: Uh I really dont know what to tell you Rach, I really dont. I mean, maybe Joey can help you out with your, with your big work problem.
Joey: Huh. Okay. (Awkward silence.) So uh, I think Im gonna take off.
Rachel: I know I told you, its a really big problem.
Rachel: Thats what I told him!
Rachel: Well Ill tell ya! (Pause) See uh my-my boss and his wifeThey-they cant have children. So umm, and thatwe were at the Christmas party, and he got drunk, and he said to me, "Rachel, I want to buy your baby."
Joey: Man! When you said it was a problem about your boss and the baby I figured it was something about maternity leave.
Guy: Oh, its you. I see you everywhere. Im Jim, Jim Nelson.
Phoebe: Oh Jim, Jim Nelson Im Phoebe, Phoebe Buffay. We certainly have been seeing a lot of each other lately.
Ross: Mona? (Theres no answer, so he starts to leave but remembers where her extra key is. He reaches atop a hall light just outside her door and grabs the key. He looks at in triumph as the pain from it being hot moves along his nervous system to his brain, and when it arrives his brain orders his hand to drop the hot key and his mouth to squeal in pain. After dropping the key he pulls his shirtsleeve over his hand and uses the key to open the door and enter Monas apartment.) Okay, if I were a salmon shirt, where would I be? (He hears a key in the door and as it opens he dives behind the couch.)
Mona: (entering, with her date) I am so sorry I spilled wine all over your shirt.
Mona: No, its still wet. Yknow what? Let me get it out before it sets. Ooh, I have something you can wear. Here. (Hands him Rosss shirt.)
Mona's Date: Oh umm, I-I dont know if I want to wear a womans shirt.
Rachel: Oh it was perfect! I mean it really felt like he was my friend again.
Rachel: Oh thats not important. The point is, I reallyI think everythings gonna be okay.
Mr. Zelner: May I help you?
Phoebe: Oh okay, well Im a masseuse, and I used to work at this place
Phoebe: I-I-I like, I like parties.
Phoebe: Yeah I guess, a little.
Jim: It aint no thing, Im wild too.
Phoebe: (a little freaked out) So! Umm, anyway I-I lived in New York, someone wildly I guess, for ummWell since I was fourteen.
Jim: Im sorry. Im staring. Its just that you have the most beautiful eyes.
Phoebe: Okay. Umm look, youre coming on a little strong. But Im going to give you the benefit of the doubt, because it seems the universe really wants to be together. So, why dont we just start over okay? And you can just tell me about yourself.
Jim: I write erotic novels, for children.
Jim: Oh also, you might be interested to know that I have a Ph.D.
Joey: Lets just say I took care of it.
Joey: Dont worry! Dont worry. I just told him, very nicely, "You dont go buying peoples babies, so back off!!"
Rachel: No! No, no-no-no Joey he doesnt want to buy my baby! I made that up!
Rachel: (To Joey) I cant believe that you yelled at my boss! Im-Im gonna lose my job! What am I going to do?!
Rachel: Oh Joey, I cant believe you brought my boss into this! Im gonna get fired!
Mr. Zelner: Oh I think its best that I speak first.
Mr. Zelner: Ive asked Lee from human resources to be here as a witness to our conversation.
Mr. Zelner: If I in any way implied that I wanted to buy your baby I am sorry. Okay? Last week when I asked you when your due date was uh, I certainly did not mean that I felt that I was due your baby. Yeah, I want to be very clear that I understand that its your baby, and it is not mine to purchase.
Phoebe: I know, but that creep that I went on that date with goes to there so I have to find a new one. I also have to find a new video store, a new bank, a new adult bookstore, a new grocery store
Phoebe: A new grocery store. The universe said I was going to meet a nice guy and thats what they gave me? (Looks up) When I get up there Im going to kick some ass.
Monica: Dont worry Phoebe, youre gonna meet someone. If I can meet a great guy, so can you.
Monica: Are you kidding? This is where they get out stains! Okay? This is like Disneyland for me. Im-Im gonna be over here watching the dance of the clean shirts. (She points to and walks over to the electric clothes rack they have.)
Guy: (To Phoebe) Oh, excuse me! I think you dropped s (looks at Phoebe.) Wow!
Guy: Im sorry, its just that youre so incredibly beautiful.
Phoebe: Oh yeah well, Im sorry about that too, but what are you going to do?
Guy: I hope you dont think Im crazy but I feel like I was meant to pick this up, do you believe in that kind of thing?
Monica: (to the clerk) Ooh, an ink stain! Hey, can I watch how you get this out?
Rachel: Its all gonna be okay. Theyre just so happy that Im not suing them that they gave me one extra month paid maternity leave. So long as I understand that the money should not construed as a down payment on this or any other child I should bear.
Chandler: Oh Im sorry, youre kicking me out of my own living room?
Chandler: Ill be in there. (Goes into the bedroom.)
Rachel: Joey, Im really sorry that I lied to you. I was just trying to make things
Joey: I know. I know.
Rachel: It kinda worked. I mean yknow, I dont know about you buy I havent thought about our thing since all this.
Rachel: Yeah I know! I miss that.
Joey: Me too. I mean I havent thought at all about how I put myself out there and said all that stuff and how you didnt feel the same way about me and-and how it was really awkward.
Ross: (on phone) Item J437-A, color: winterberry. (Theres a knock on the door as he hangs up the phone. He answers it to Mona.) Hi umm, listen come here, come in. (She does so.) Im so-so sorry about yesterday. I-Im really sorry. Its just that I (He picks up the pink shirt.)
Mona: (interrupting him) Listen Ross, you dont have to apologize. I understand why you were there.
Mona: Yeah, you still have feelings for me. And-and to be honest, I-I still have feelings for you. And I wish that we can work it out Ross, but we cant. Its too complicated with you and Rachel and the baby, I-I just It just wasnt meant to be.
Mona: Ross, we we have to be strong. Okay, I-Im gonna go. (She picks up the shirt Ross has just set down.) Can I? To remember you?
Phoebe: least you've been married, OH MY GOD! I wanna trade lives with Ross (cries more)
Monica: Hey Tim? I need a calamari and a Caesar salad. And umm, could you get me the pesto?
Monica: Oh thats so sweet! Look Chandler I dont care if you cant cry, I love you.
Rachel: So hot I cried myself to sleep last night. (Joey and Chandler clap their hands)
Phoebe: Well, I didn't get embarrassed running next to Miss (panting). But no, okay. No, no, I can see why running with me would be embarrassing to you. Yeah, okay. You're uptight.
Phoebe: Oh, hey, Monica, I brought back your iron.
Hillary: You know, I rarely connect with someone this much on the first date.
ERICA: I should just be happy to be near you.
Joey: Umm, now uh Its a scary world out there, especially for a single mom. Yknow, now I always thought you and I had a special bond so (He goes to one knee and pulls out a ring.) Phoebe Buffay, will you marry me?
David: That reminds me of you so much, I mean umm, it-its actually of Lenin. But, yknow at certain angles
Rachel: Wow. I, I dont even know what to say. Thank you. (Gently kicks him.)
Leslie: I ran into Vlad at the place where they sell the big fish, and he said you played here a lot, so umm....
Monica: Oh my god. Today's the sixth?! I may be done ovulating! I may have also served some very questionable meat at the restaurant.
Chandler: (running up) Hey Joey, do you wanna play football or you wanna.. (sees Marhan) Hi, Im Chandler.
Phoebe: Yeah, I know. Its a real mustard-tastrophe. Can you help me?
Mrs. Green: Sweetheart I know youre gonna be terrific mom, I just think you need a little help, especially at the beginning.
Rachel: (entering) Hey! Ross and I were looking for you! What are we all doing in here? (Looks at Chandler) Oh, my! (Covers the spot where Joey wants bubbles to be replaced.)
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Joey: (on the screen there's the word "Supermarket") Uhm... ok. It's a store, like a supermarket. (there is a sound indicating he made a mistake as he shouldn't have said 'supermarket'. The next word appears, "notebook") Oh! I see-I see what I did. Yeah, ok, ok, uhm... I'm writing in my...
Joey: No, thats VH-1. I gotta tell you, the music these kids listen to today . . . Its like a lotta noise to me. I dont know
Joey: Well all right then, I guess I shouldnt get to excited about the fact (excitedly) that I just kissed her!
Monica: (laughs nervously as well, Laura looks confused) (To Laura) Some people don't get him, but I think he's really funny! (She takes Laura to their own bedroom).
Ross: Aw, how can you say that? I cant even get Marcel to stop eating the bath mat. How am I gonna raise a kid?
Ross: (very interested) Oh! like what?! (Charlie looks at him confused, but smiling) Oh I'm sorry, I don't mean to pry... it's just that this must be what regular people experience when they watch "Access Hollywood".
Joey: Hey, what if I said, I could even things out for ya, meatwise.
Ross: I'm just, I'm just glad I didn't miss my daughter's first words (goes back to checking the tickets).
Ross: Then, Fred Astaire singing The Way You Look Tonight came on the sound system, and the lights came down. And I got down on one knee and written across the dome in the stars were the words "Will you marry me?"
Mackenzie: (at the other end of the line) I don't know... You know what? I'm gonna put you on with my bear. Hold on. (she puts the phone at the bears ear)
Joey: Welcome to New York City! Or should I say "ghe deu flooff New York City"?
Phoebe: Duh, I think I know how to heat breast milk. Ok. (Squirts some on her wrist and tastes it.)
Phoebe: Oh my God! Im going out with Eric! Ooh, this day is really gonna be so much better than I thought it was gonna be. Oh Ross, I cant make lunch. (Exits.)
Tag: Okay I understand. (Sits down.) I wouldnt want to be proved wrong either.
Carol: Yeah. Ooh, and I know Gail Rosten is in there twice, but she is so
Phoebe: I can hear traffic and birds! I can hear the voices in my head again! (Monica looks at her strangely) Im kidding. (She smiles wickedly.)
Joey: Yeah. I am sorry he's not here too, but I got to say, (takes some nachos from a plate on the seat where Chandler should have been) I am really enjoying Nacho Chair.
Ross: she came and dragged me out of the labor room to ask me why Im not with Rachel.
Ross: Rach, I promise first thing tomorrow we'll find another doctor, but I gotta get up early and I'm not feeling all that well.
Monica: Sweetie, you know I have no sense of humor when it comes to the wedding.
Air stewardess: (on the answering machine) Miss, I can't let you off the plane.
Joey: Yknow what I think? I think somebodys got a little crush on Casey. How bout I fix you two up? What do you think?
Rachel: Im funny? Oh thank God! Well hey, Ive got a ton of these! Umm, oh hearDo you want a good one? Heres a good one. Umm, you uh, you take a quarter, take a quarter and, and you blacken the edge. Right? (Does so.) And then you say to person, I bet you cant roll this quarter from your forehead to your chin without it leaving your face. And then when they do it, theyre left with a big black pencil line right down the center of their face.
Rachel: Im not moving! (She re-hangs a picture, crookedly.) Is that picture straight?
Monica: Well, Rachel wants to take swing dance lessons. Which I think is a really stupid idea! It's dangerous, she's never gonna get what she wants, and who knows who she might (Turns to look at Ross) end up hurting.
Ross: Okay, it was just me and her at the back of the train, and I sat near the door, so shed have to pass by me if she wanted to switch cars. She was totally at my mercy.
Janice: Ohhh, are you a puppy! (opens it) Contact paper! I never really know what to say when someone you're sleeping with gives you contact paper.
RACHEL: My parents happened. All they had to do was sit in the same stadium, smile proudly, and not talk about the divorce. But nooo, they got into a huge fight in the middle of the commencement address. Bishop Tutu actually had to stop and shush them. But you know what, you know what the good news is? I get to serve coffee for the next 8 hours.
Ross: (looks angrily at Joey and points at him) I swear to God...! (Joey is in shock)
Phoebe: Oh okay. All right, then I need to calm down a little.
Chandler: And yet, believable. So I decided not to fire her again until I can be assured that she will be no threat to herself, or others.
Joey: (reading) Three down, Days Of Our Lives star blank Tribbiani. Thats me!! Im blank!!
Ross: (looking in the window behind them) Yknow, yknow Im lookin and I dont think anyones home here. I say we just break the window, crawl through, and-and yknow explain later.
Rachel: (entering, angrily) Ugh, that was so embarrassing! I can't believe you let me go on and on like that!
Chloe: Do I know why were rushing?
Chandler: What if I had had the guts to quit my job? Id probably be writing for the New Yorker, getting paid to be funny. But my jobs fun too! I mean tomorrow, I-I dont have to wear a tie.
Monica: Okay. (When Phoebe turns around Monica runs out into the hall after Mrs. Green.) Mrs. Green! Okay Im really sorry!! Im apologizing for the(She trips and falls down the stairs.) (Pause) Okay, I bit my tongue, but Im still really sorry!
Mike: I don't know, I mean I'm not sure (they hear cracking voice from somewhere else in the kitchen, probably a rat caught in a trap) ...
Phoebe: Well, I wanna enter her in a baby beauty pageant.
Rachel: I just finished getting Phoebe all dressed to meet Mike's parents. She's so nervous, it's so sweet!
Richard: Well, apparently Im willing to offer her things that you are not.
Ross: well Phoebe, I think you'll feel better when you know a little bit about Vicrum, His a Kite designer (He makes a wow face) and he used to date Oprah. (He makes another wow face)
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Rachel: Ooh, so cute, that Im thinking about jamming this pen in my eye.
Chandler: I got something for her. (Joey picks up the package, shakes it next to his ear, can't hear anything, switches ears, shakes it again.) It's a book!
Bitter lady: Well, I bet you are all thinkin' "Now would be a really great time for an intermission", huh?
Ross: Of course you would, your brains are smaller than mine!! (Rachel nods) Man, I can't compete with the guys she goes out with, they are so out of my league! oh my God!
Monica: Y'know, so I don't read as many important books as you do, and I don't write trick poems that seem to be about one thing but are actually about something else. And y'know what, I get excited about stupid stuff, like when I my People magazine comes on Saturday, and the new Hold Everything catalog. Y'know but that does not mean that I'm empty, I care about things. I care about my friends and family. You have no right to make that kind of judgment about me.
Ross: (forages around) Okay, I have nothing in an evening shoe in the burgundy. I can show you something in a silver that may work.
Monica: And thats why, Im not inviting you in for a drink. (starts to leave) Bye.
Monica: You know, Rachel, when you ran out of your wedding, I was there for you. I put a roof over your head, and if that means nothing to you... (Rachel isn't buying it, desperate) twenty dollars an hour.
Monica: Oh, this terrible! Everything is destroyed! Look at this. (She picks up some kind of furry thing.) It obviously meant enough for me to save it, and I dont even know what it is! Ohh, its still soft. (She rubs it against her cheek.) What do you think this is?
Phoebe: Or, yknow, I used to beg for money. Of course it helps if youve got yknow a little of this (she sticks her chest out and shakes it) goin on. Wow! I still have it!
Ross: Oh, Im sorry youve been Bamboozled! Youre gonna be a terrible mother! (Rachel stares at him agape.) Ive lost sight of why were doing this! (Rachel gets up and walks away.)
Chandler: Oh just great. He beeps me now with codes. One is, "Bring me food." Two is, "Im with a girl, bring us food." Three is, "Im lost and I cant find food."
Phoebe: Whoa-whoa-whoa! No drinks near the bucket! Set it down over there and then you can make a contribution! (The guy starts to walk away with a hurt look on his face.) And you can leave the hurt bunny look over there too! (Her boss and a co-worker walk up.) Hi Bob! (The same old lady from before walks bye.) (To the old lady.) I thought I told you to get outta here!
Phoebe Sr: Take it easy--if you want, theres cookies on the counter, or, or--sangria! (jumps up) I can make sangria!
Monica: Yeah! But, he can't not exactly see Emily, I mean that's his wife.
Ross: Alright, I'm gonna go find them... (twitches a bit, looks down) I just need a... need a before I can... you know. (gestures standing up... they sit and wait for a while) Grandma... grandma... grandma... (he tries to concentrate...) Okay, I see you later.
Phoebe: Which proves that I never lie.
Joey: Who loses fifty seven coin tosses in a row? Head she wins, tails I lose. (he stops and starts realizing something) Wait a minute...
Rachel: Yeah, well, I guess I have forgotten about Joey and clearly you've forgotten about Chandler!
Joey: Oh, I'd love too, but I got acting class. But y'know what? I guess I can blow that off, (In a sexy voice) for you.
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Ross: Look at it this way: you dumped her. Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy, and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable... Tell me why you did this again?
Phoebe: Does a dog's lips move when he reads? (Joey makes an `I don't know' face, and looks to Chandler and Rachel, who're also stumped) Okay, no they don't.
Joey: I hate that thing, it's like a... bolt of lightning.
SECURITY GUARD: Yeah, and I have a time share in the Pocanos with Flipper.
Rachel: Oh my God! Im standing at a cash register, holding a credit card, and Im bored.
Richard: We may not have any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement I saw potatoes and some dry pasta, and a few tins of tuna! (Joey backs away and wipes his face again.)
Rachel: Yes! That I know, this is from White Plains.
Ross: All right, fine! Fine! Have me fired! But uh, I want you to know that you and I are not all that different. I mean, I too am a neat guy. (Paul just looks at him.)
Roy: I may have borrowed this from my nephew, but let me assure you, what's underneath (points at his groin)... is all man.
Chandler: Monica, you have got to stop this competitive thing! Okay? It's crazy. {Finally! The voice of reason.} I mean, just impress Gary and Phoebe we have to go upstairs and have sex over and over and I'm saying no to this, why? Get your coat.
Rachel: Oh, yeah. Joey doesn’t share food. I mean, just last week we were having breakfast and he had a couple of grapes on his plate and ...
RACHEL: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Joey: Oh well, you're timing couldn't be better. I am putting out fires all over the place.
Chandler: Hey, Joe, I gotta ask. The girl from the Xerox place buck naked (holds up one hand), or, or a big tub of jam. (holds up the other hand)
Monica: (removes them) Thats because I-I was just grabbing some things out of the dryer, and its static cling. Or maybe its just that God knew Id be running into you and saw an opportunity.
Joey: (Putting his arm around her.) Im not going anywhere, sweetheart.
Phoebe: Oh thats good, I guess shell have a choice between my guy and your weirdo.