words in movies
Phoebe: Well, I left my guitar here again.
Monica: Phoebe, I can explain!
Phoebe: I cant believe this! How long as this been going on?
Phoebe: OkayOop! Too late! Im leaving! Come on Chandler lets go! (She storms out.)
Chandler: Well, Phoebe I thought Id(Off Phoebes look)Yeah, what the hell. (Exits with Phoebe.)
Rachel: Oh Joey, Im so happy things worked out for us that were having this baby together. I love you so much.
Joey: Oh, I love you too.
Rachel: And I hope its not an inappropriate time to say this but, youre the best sex I ever had.
Ross: (crying) I hope youre a better father than youre a friend!! (Cries again and Joey wakes up in horror.)
Joey: Oh, yknow what? Maybe uh, you you should come to me. Im a not, Im not wearing any bottoms.
Chandler: Oh no-no-no, I will do it. Honey, you have to learn to sit down and relax and let your husband take care of things once and awhile. (Tries the door.) Its locked, you have to help me. Why is it locked?
Chandler: Oh yknow, Ive been living here a while and Ive never seen whats inside that closet. What is, what is in there?
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Monica: Well its I mean Id justId be self-conscious. Youre my friend; Id be naked.
Phoebe: Monica! We lived together for years! Ive seen you naked!
Phoebe: Im curious about the human body.
Phoebe: But Im a professional! And Im really good! Look, if youre uncomfortable we can stop. Just give me a chance, okay. Please?
Rachel: Last night! I just felt it and I went into Joeys room and he was sleeping
Ross: My God, the babys kicking. Thats great. Although I kinda wish I-I wouldve been there to feel the kicking for the first time yknow.
Joey: Well I got stuff going on in here (Rubbing his belly) if you wanna feel.
Ross: Look, I-I dont want to miss anymore baby stuff. So Here. Heres my new pager number, okay? Anytime anything pregnancy related happens use it! Ill be there! Okay? I dont care if its three in the morning and all you want is ice cream.
Joey: Wow! Can I get a copy of that?
Chandler: I wasnt trying to open your closet! I wasnt trying to open your closet! I swear! (Running into the kitchen and sees its Joey.)
Chandler: I dont know! What could she possibly be hiding in here that I cant see?!
Joey: I dont know. Ooh, I bet its Richard.
Joey: I saw this movie once where there was a door and no one knew what was behind it, and when they finally got it open millions and millions and millions of bugs came pouring out and they feasted on human flesh. Yknow it wouldnt kill ya to respect your wifes privacy! (He walks away and into his apartment and looks the door.) Stupid closet full of bugs!
Rachel: Joey. Joey, something feels weird and not good weird. I dontWhoa!! (Winces in pain.)
Joey: Absolutely. But, were gonna stop by the hospital just to be sure, okay? Ill page Ross on the way. Come on.
Rachel: Hmm, mild discomfort. So I take it youve had one of these Braxton thingies?
Joey: Calm?! I wasnt calm! Ive never been more scared in all my life!
Joey: Well what do I know?! Im not a doctor!
Rachel: But IBut everything is okay. Im fine!
Rachel: Yes! Yes! I got half a mind to contract that doctors uterus though. Mild discomfort, whats he talking about?
Ross: Oh when you beeped me I was on line at the concession stand at the movie theater.
Ross: No IMona!
Rachel: Oh, I gotta go back in there.
Rachel: No, everythings fine. I just gotta go back
Ross: Yeah but still, I mean it shouldve been me. Im the dad.
Chandler: Yeah. (Checks his hair.) Oh no wait, Im not an nine-year-old girl.
Joey: Uh, really good. Really good. Yeah, I should be ready to kill myself any day now. (Chandler returns with a bobby pin and hands it to Joey.) Wow, you sure found that quick. (He tries the pin in the lock.) I justI wish I didnt feel this way about Rachel anymore, yknow? I wish things could go back to normal. I mean, I love living with her and God, helping out with the baby is just amazing, but now I think I think Ross feels left out. Yknow? When I had to take Rachel to the hospital, the doctor thought I was the father. God You shouldve seen the look on Rosss face. (Pause) By the way, I have no idea what Im doing here. For all I know Im just locking it more. Oh hey, did you try opening it with a credit card?
Joey: Oh, I just I feel terrible.
Monica: I gotta tell you, yesterday was amazing. That massage felt so good!
Phoebe: No-no, I got that.
Phoebe: Okay. Okay but you should know though, Ive raised my rates to $200 an hour.
Phoebe: I mean $500.
Phoebe: Yeah, and it really freaked me out! And after a while I even tried to hurt you and it just spurred you on.
Monica: What?! Youre crazy! Theres nothing sexual about the noises I make!
Phoebe: Really? Theres nothing sexual about this? (Sexily) Oooh. Oo God! Ohh. Ohhhh. Ohh. (Some cute guy is watching closely.) (To him) What are you looking at?! (Pause) I mean hi.
Monica: Oh myThis is so embarrassing. Oh my God, Im never gonna get massaged again!
Phoebe: No, you cant let this stop you from getting massages! No look, I have, I have lots of clients that make the same noises you do!
Monica: I guess.
Rachel: Hey Ross! Check it out! I learned a new trick!
Ross: Hey uh, I brought you some lunch.
Ross: I made her favorite, tuna salad with pickles.
Ross: (to Rachel) I-Im sorry Rach, I didnt know. Are you gonna be okay?
Rachel: Yeah, Ill be fine. But could someone please make sure that sandwich is gone when I get out there?
Joey: Im on it! (Takes a bite out of the sandwich.)
Ross: I cant believe this! I shouldnt be the one making her throw up!
Ross: Yeah? Not to you, because you know this stuff. I dont know any of it and Im the father. I wish Id be more involved yknow.
Rachel: (entering) Well, if anyone is keeping score, I no longer eat tuna.
Joey: Hey uh, can I, can I talk to you guys for a second?
Joey: Uh, sit down. I wanna talk about our situation.
Joey: The thing is cause I live with Rachel Im here for a lot of the stuff, okay? (To Rachel) And Ross Ross is missing everything. So
Joey: Oh no-no, no-no I love living with you. It just seems that if youre gonna have a roommate, yknow it might as well be the father.
Rachel: But Joey, I dont think Ross wants me to move into his apartment and disrupt his life like that. I mean(Ross turns to her with wishful eyes.)Or he does.
Ross: So? Sure! But it-it wouldnt be anything romantic. And Im-Im dating MonaDamnit Mona! I was supposed to meet her like an hour ago! What is wrong with me?!
Rachel: I dont know. Is it crazy?
Joey: Well, I was due.
Rachel: Okay, lets do it. Ill move in.
Chandler: Not to shabby, I got this all off myself using my wifes tools. (He takes the door off the frame and we finally get to see whats behind the green door! It is stacked, floor to ceiling, with junk.) Oh my God!
Chandler: I married Fred Sanford!
Monica: No Chandler, you dont understand! (Chandler starts singing the theme for Sanford and Son, an old TV show starring Redd Fox.) Okay! Okay! Okay! Fine! Now you know. Okay? Im yknow Im sick.
Chandler: No, honey youre not sick! Look, I dont love you because youre organized, I love you in spite of that.
Chandler: Yes! And look, now that I know if I got some extra stuff lying around can we, can we share the closet.
Monica: Well its just umm Im afraid you might mess it up.
Joey: Well uh, I wanted to have a few beers, but uh, I got rid of those because Rachel couldnt stand the smell of them. But I have thrown back a lot of orange juice with calcium though. And uh, its a couple weeks past its expiration date, so its got a bit of a kick.
Joey: Are you kidding me? Im great! Yeah, Im uh; Im better than great. I am good. And now that shes gone, I can uh, I can do all this stuff around here that I couldnt do before. Yknow? Like umm, I can walk around naked again. Yknow? I can uh, I can watch porn in the living room. Right? This is uh, this is good for me. Yknow? I like being on my own, Im uh, better off this way. Im uh, a lone wolf. Yknow? A loner. Alone. All alone. Forever. Whats a wolf got to do to get a huh around here?! (Chandler rushes over and hugs him.)
Phoebe: Yeah, say my name. Say it! (She stops when she realizes what shes doing.) And now Im going to cover you back up, and umm were never doing this again.
MRS. GREENE: You thought I was Rachel?
Ross: Look, Im not trying to get out of anything, okay. I thought our relationship was dead!
Chandler: Oh. Oh right! Right! Because youre still seeing him and uh, hes a good guy. I mean, I remember a time when (He fakes falling asleep.)
Erica: Reverend, can I ask? Does the bible say anything about adoption?
PHOEBE: Ok, so I guess we don't invite her parents.
Joey: (in a gravely, painful voice) Okay. "Hey, Timmy, Ive got a surprise for you."
RACHEL: Wow you, you. I had no idea.
RACHEL: Now I love you even more.
MONICA: I don't know, maybe. I mean I'm dating a man who's pool I once peed in.
RACHEL: No, I knew.
RACHEL: I do.
Phoebe: No he wont. And thats not even the point! Monica, I made a whole speech about you do not cancel plans with friends! And now yknow what? Just because, potentially, the love of my life comes back from Russia just for one night, I-I should change my beliefs?! I should change beliefs! No! No! No, if I dont have my principles, I dont have anything!
Joey: Y'know what, I dont think we should listen to this anymore. (Goes to open the door)
Rachel: Ross! I think she is trying to make something happen with you to get back at me!
JANITOR: Your monkey found a new career, in the entertainment field. That's all I know.
Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird obsession thing.
PHOEBE: Alright, I can get you out.
GUNTHER: I um, was sorta thinking about maybe...
ROSS: I know.
Ross: Hi Rachel! Here's your sister Amy! She thinks I need pec implants!
Chandler: With the balled-up socks? I figured you taught him that.
Joey: Hey don't worry about that! I mean, Ross needs you! And Rachel and I will stay and help anyway we can.
Phoebe: Umm, Rachel and I were just discussing it and she had some very interesting insights.
Jane: (from the answering machine) Hi Joey it's Jane Rogers, can't wait for your party tonight. Listen, I forgot your address, can you give me a call? Thanks, bye.
Bobby: Well I really have high hopes for my band.
Ross: Oh, (he goes towards Mike in order to shake hands but Mike hugs him) hey, oh... I... I was-I was going for a hand shake.
MONICA: I can't believe you're dressing up for him. I mean, you're just, you're setting yourself up all over again.
MONICA: Ok, thanks for coming, I hope you guys had fun.
MONICA: You heard the woman. Peel, chop, devil! I can't believe I lost 2 minutes.
MRS. GREENE: I think I saw Rachel out in the hall.
CHANDLER: I, I know. [Hugs her. Ross walks out and Chandler puts her in his arms.]
Fun Bobby: Hey, sorry I'm late. But my, uh, grandfather, he- died about two hours ago. But I-I-I couldn't get a flight out 'til tomorrow, so here I am!
MONICA: Oh, I ordered mine first.
Phoebe: It's okay, I mean she had a really incredible life. And it's not like I'm never gonna see her again, y'know she's gonna visit.
PHOEBE: Oh all right, then I guess we're going back into the hallway.
Paul: I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?
Phoebe: Monica, I really appreciate you checking in on me, but I'm actually feeling a lot better. Yeah, I just kinda want to be alone right now.
PHOEBE: Oh ok, Ryan, that guy I went out with, who's in the Navy.
MONICA: Honey, you made the bed again. I told you, you don't have to do that. This isn't camp.
ROSS: Well because I have to work on Monday, I have a big presentation.
MONICA: If I tell you, you'll think I'm crazy.
CHANDLER: I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me, Heckles, and me, me and Heckles...Would you knock it off?
RICHARD: Actually, if it's possible, I love you more.
Monica: All right thats it, I give up! Whatever you want you can have it! You wanna sing a song? You wanna do a dance? You want your mom stand at the Alter and scream racial slurs? I dont care!
Joey: I dunno. Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. He's not even jolly, it's all political.
Chandler: Y'know what, I think we can go out there. I mean they have more important things to worry about.
Ross: That may be the most depressing thing Ive heard in my life. I should probably get these to my lawyers office.
JOEY: Oh yeah yeah. I process. People want the processing, I'm the one they call.
PHOEBE: I, I, I'm hideous.
RYAN: Can I please see your face?
PHOEBE: Well, no no, you have to stay back. I, I have the pox.
PHOEBE: Yeah, or you know, you could just wish that I didn't have them now.
Ross: Look Rachel, I wanted to tell you, I thought I should, I-I did, and then Chandler and Joey convinced me not to.
Frank: Oh come on we went, we went to Time Square, we found ninja stars, I almost got arm broken by a hooker...
PHOEBE: No. This is what I do for luck, ok.
Lydia: Hey, Knick fan, am I interested in your views on fatherhood? Uh, no.
Monica: Congratulations, I think youve found the worlds thinnest argument.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Monica: What?! I didn't take care of everything, there's-there's plenty of things for you to do!
JOEY: This company was not built on rough numbers. Am I right Mr. Douglas.
Joey: Home sweet home, huh? Nice to, uh, get back to reality. Plus we know how the New Years gonna go off. I guess theres no reason for all that Y2K panic, yknow? Anyway, gnight!
RICHARD: Well, I'm confused. I thought we shared time.
Chandler: Hey, you know what you can do? I remember reading about this director, I think it was Orson Wells, who at the beginning of the movie would hire somebody, just so he could fire them in front of everybody. Then they would all know, whos boss.
Doug: No-no, I heard what you said, funny. I like funny. (Chandler starts to leave) This team is about hard work, but its also about having fun. Good to have you aboard Bing! (smacks him on the butt, and Chandler leaves shocked.)
RICHARD: Boy I would just uh, I would freak out.
MONICA: You would not. I can't believe this. I hate this, you're too normal. I can't believe my boyfriend doesn't have a thing. My boyfriend doesn't have a thing.
Phoebe: Well, they said that I had to think about it first, but what is there to think about? Im gonna be giving them the greatest gift you can possibly give.
FBOB: Well, anyway, I hope we can be friends.
PHOEBE: Can I please take these off? I swear I won't scratch.
Chandler: Aww, we were worried about you! Hm. I guess I better get used to things crapping in my hand, huh?
RYAN: Oh, I spilled some.
PHOEBE: I got it. [Wipes it up with her mits.]
JOEY: I don't feel like talkin.
RICHARD: I thought of a thing.
RYAN: [Puts his hands over Phoebe's ears.] I must tell you, you look beautiful tonight.
RACHEL: Hey, it's not that big a deal, I was just curious.
Rachel: On Melanie Griffith in "Working girl". I think what you want is over here.
RICHARD: Or so I would have you believe.
RICHARD: Yeah. I have to sleep, have to, on this side of the bed.
Phoebe: Oh, this is terrible. Oh, theyve made so many changes I cant even feel my grandmothers presence anymoreOoh! New sconces!
RYAN: I can't say.
RYAN: I really can't say.
JOEY: Nice, nice. Hey I got somethin' for you. [hands Chandler an envelope.
RYAN: I'm sorry, but I can't say.
MONICA: Cause I already invited her.
Chandler: Can I come a little bit closer, valuable things are getting squished...
Joey: Well. I guess you think youre pretty special huh? Sittin up here in your fancy small hall building. Makin stars jump through hoops for ya, huh? Well yknow what? (Throws the script away) This is one star whos hoop This is a star that the hoopthis hoopI was Dr. Drake Remoray!
Rachel: All right, you know what? I am not leaving here, until you call that plane back!! (She pounds her hand on the counter twice. The ticket agent counters by placing the closed sign on the counter and tapping it twice.)
Chandler: I walk into a room and he wont even talk to me, he just mumbles something in Italian. And I know he only knows the bad words.
Ross: (speaking without pause, agitated) Oh yeah? Yeah? I wonder why? What could that smarmy letch possibly want?
JOEY: Come on, I need your help here.
RICHARD: Well, I mean what can I say? I, I was married to Barbara for 30 years. She was my high school sweetheart, now you, that's two.
JOEY: Then I don't know what it is. What's the problem?
Joey: The ones that got me the Porsche! Will you keep up! (Chandler wipes his forehead with a baby wipe, that might have been used. He drops it disgustedly.) But I figured, if-if people keep seeing me just standing there, theyre gonna start to think that I dont own it. So I figured Ill wash it. Right? Monica, you got a bucket and some soap I can borrow?
Ross: (pause) Yes I would.
Phoebe: I can't believe you... (holding up Joey's cardigan) ..did this.
Monica: (as Rachel) Yeah... (joining the others) ..see, I was supposed to get married, but, um, I left the guy at the altar.
CHANDLER: I may have.
[They go into the apartment. Inside the apartment it looks like a sewage dump exploded and landed in her living room. There are clothes and food and junk covering every square inch of space. I mean pigs have nicer pens. Ross is completely shocked.]
RICHARD: I love you, too.