words in movies
Joey: (going over and picking up the rod) Thats all right. Hey you guys, you know whats going to be great about the fishing trip this year? When my dad gets me out in the middle of the lake and gives me that, "Joey, what are you doing with your life?" stuff. I can say, "Well, Im doing a movie with Charlton Heston dad. What are you doing with your life?"
Chandler: You dont have to stop having fun just because Im here. Kathy didnt cheat on all of you. (To Joey) Well, except you. (They hug and Chandler goes into the bathroom with the chick and duck following him.)
Monica: Hey, Joey, I dont think that you should leave Chandler alone. I mean its only been two days since he broke up with Kathy. Maybe you can go fishing next week?
Joey: Look, theres nothing I can do for him right now, hes still in his sweat pants, thats still Phase One. Y'know? Ill be back for Phase Two, I would never miss Phase Two.
Joshua: (turning around) Oh! You know what I need?
Mr. Waltham: (entering) Rachel! Could I have a moment?
Mr. Waltham: I-I was wondering, my niece you see is in from Londonwell Shropshire really but yknowwell shes about your age I say. Anyway I have tickets for the opera, Die Fledermaus, and I was wondering if youd like to keep her company this evening?
Rachel: Me, Fledermaus, great. I really(motions to Joshua.)
Rachel: Ohh! Right! Right, sorry, Ill be right back!
Joshua: Uhh, actually yknow what, I kindaI have to take off.
Joshua: But, I was curious; do you have any plans for tonight?
Joshua: I invested in this night-club and its opening tonight, would you like to come?
Rachel: (shocked) Well, I-I guessI
Joshua: Kidding! (Rachel is relived) Im gonna get there early, but Im going to put you on the V.I.P list, okay? Look for me.
Mr. Waltham: (entering) I almost forget the tickets, didnt I?
Mr. Waltham: I think youll like it, it has two out of the three tenors.
Chandler: Yknow, I cant believe Kathy did this too me. I really, thought that she was the one. I tell you what, from now on Im never getting out of this chair, ever! Okay? From now on, this chair is the one! You wanna what else is the one? My sweat pants!
Joey: Yeah, three days on the lake without a shower. Plus! I fell in that big tub of worms at the bait stand! Hey, how-hows he doing?
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!
Rachel: Ohh, its Joshua invited me to this fancy club opening tonight. But, I already told Mr. Waltham that I would take his niece to this dumb old opera. So What are you gonna do?
Monica: I dont know sweetie.
Monica: I cant! I have to work!
Phoebe: I would, but I get my morning sickness in the evening.
Rachel: Ohh, gosh. You guys, come on, this isI have to meet Joshua! This is my one chance for him to see the fun Rachel. Yknow the "Wouldnt it be great if she was my wife" Rachel. Ohh, all right! Are Joey and Chandler back?
Monica: I think shes here.
Ross: You want me to take some girl Ive never met to the opera so you can go to a club and flirt with some guy, hmm, that-that is a toughie.
Rachel: Ill be right there! (to Ross) Okay, Ross, please come on! I thought we have moved on! I thought weve gotten to a place where we could be happy for each other! I mean was that just me?
Ross: All right, Ill do it.
Rachel: Im Rachel Green.
Rachel: Theres been a teeny-teeny change in plans. It turns out that Im not free tonight. So
Emily: Really?! Well, thats just lovely, isnt it? I mustve missed your call, even though I didnt leave the flat all day.
Rachel: Oh well, no I
Emily: Oh, no-no-no, thats not rude! Its perfectly in keeping with a trip that Ive already been run down by one of your wiener carts, and been strip-searched at John F. Kennedy Airport, apparently to you people, I look like someone whos got a balloon full of cocaine stuffed up their bum.
Rachel: Ill get her.
Phoebe: It kicked! I think the baby kicked!
Joey: (running from his bedroom) Oh my God! I overslept! I was supposed to be on the set a half an hour ago! I gotta get out of here!
Joey: Look, I know I feel asleep before I could shower and now I dont have time! Theyre just ten blocks away, if I run, I can make it.
Rachel: Well, I didnt see Joshua last night, but I did punch a girl in the face.
Rachel: The whole night was horrible, it was pouring down rain, and when I got there, there was no Rachel Green on the list, but there was a Rachel Greep.
Rachel: No, there is no Rachel Greep, but then this other girl overheard us and she was all, "Im Rachel Greep! Im Rachel Greep!" and he let her right in.
Rachel: No, she was already in, but then this big bitch behind me tried to steal my umbrella, so I clocked her. Ohhh! I cant believe this, all I wanted was a few hours outside of work to see Joshua, so he can go ahead and start falling in love with me.
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Chandler: Thats right! Where are the guys? Im ready to get drunk and see some strippers.
Chandler: Well, can I just
Ross: When we first met her, she was soaking, her feet were wet! Who wouldnt be miserable? Im telling you when I got her into a dry pair of shoes, she was a totally different person.
Ross: Ive gotta go, theres a deer just outside eating fruit from the orchard! (He hangs up and runs out.)
Rachel: I dont get this! She was horrible! (She hits Chandler, yet again.)
Chandler: Okay, Im going to go stand over there. (Points and moves into the living room.)
Rachel: I dont care! All right, yknow what Im just upset that Im getting nowhere with Joshua thatyknow what still, you do not meet someone and go flitting off to Vermont!
Chandler: Yknow, I knew something like this was going to happen. (He starts to take off his pants, revealing that he is still wearing his sweat pants.)
Phoebe: Im sorry. (Goes and hugs him)
Joey: (rushing in) Hey! Joey Tribbiani! Im here! Im here!
The A.D: Yeah, we loves em. Ive never seen him with(He gets a whiff of Joey and starts smelling around.)
Joey: Yknow, I can see why you think that, but ah, actually, you know who I think it is?
Monica: (coming back to the stage and sitting next to Chandler) Okay, Ive got some Ones, you wanna put them in her panties?
Phoebe: Oh, no umm, hi, that-that, you have to put that out, cause Im pregnant.
Phoebe: (doing the same) I really, really enjoyed it. Very exotic.
Rachel: (joining them) Well, I just checked our messages and Joshua didnt call. I mean youd think hed be worried about me not showing up at his club. Ugh, you know what makes it so much worse, Ross is all happy in Vermont!
Chandler: Ahh, come on! Yknow whatyknow what, I think Im just gonna go home and call Kathy.
Chandler: No! That was a test! In a couple of hours Im gonna get really drunk and wanna call Kathy and you guys are gonna have to stop me! And then after that, Im gonna get so drunk, Im gonna wanna call Janice
Monica: I think somebody needs another lap dance. (Motions for one.)
Joey: I guess you wouldnt believe me if I said I was Kurt Douglas, huh?
Charlton Heston: Put some pants on kid so I can kick your butt.
Joey: No-no-no, no, no, wait. You see, Im an actor, Joey Tribbiani, Im doing a scene with you today, and well, I stink.
Joey: Yeah-yeah, Im one of the cops that wont work with you cause you a lose cannon. Anyway, look, Im really sorry, but I stink!
Charlton Heston: I dont know one actor worth his salt that didnt say at one time or another, "God, I stink!" Hell, I just did a scene out there, first take, I stunk the place up. But, the important thing you must remember, no matter how badly you think you might stink, you must never, ever bust into my dressing room and use my shower! Do you understand me?!
Joey: Yes sir! Yes sir, Im-Im(he starts to leave)
Rachel: (entering) I cant believe it! He still hasnt called.
Rachel: No, I dont.
Chandler: All right, well Im gonna put my sweats back on.
Chandler: Okay, look, Im gonna have to ask you all to leave.
Chandler: Look, forget it. We tried, but Phase Three is a lost cause, Okay? Those strippers were insanely hot, and I couldnt picture myself with any of them. (Sits back in disgust.)
Phoebe: Yeah, I really liked that fighter pilot one.
Monica: Yknow, I think if I were going to be with a woman. (Chandler is intrigued.) Itd, itd be with someone like Michelle, she was so oh, she was so petite.
Rachel: See, I dont know, for me it would have to Chantal.
Rachel: Oh my goodness, she had the smoothest skin! I mean when I stuck that dollar bill in her g-string and grazed her thigh
Chandler: (jumping up) Phase Three! I just achieved Phase Three!
Chandler: I am totally picturing you with all those women!
Chandler: Well, Im there too!
Chandler: Stop it! Youre killing me! I think I just moved on to Phase Four!
Chandler: Where I dont want to have a relationship ever! I just want to have sex with strippers and my friends!!
Joey: I dont wanna.
Joey: I wanted to go to the strip club!
Chandler: I know, I know, but youre gonna have plenty of chances. There are literally thousands of women out there just waiting to screw me over.
Ross: Emily is incredible. I mean there-there are no words to describe it, I mean the whole weekend was like a dream. (Sees Rachel coming back from the bathroom.) Oh! And you! Rach!
Ross: I mean, I, I-I admit I-I wasnt quite there. Yknow, I mean the thought of you and that-that Josh guy
Rachel: Yeah, I
Ross: But now! Im there! Im totally there! Im-Im finally where you are!
Rachel: Oh, no problem. Im so glad I could help. Happy for you. (She playfully punches him.)
Phoebe: I-I wanna be with her, (points to the stripper next to her) I like her.
Monica: Wait, now, what am I doing again?
Chandler: Come on! Would you please pay attention, I could wake up at any moment!
The Cigarette Guy: Hi, Im Joshua, Im here to pick up Rachel.
Chandler: What do you want from me, Ive never met the guy. So anyway, Rachel, Im sorry you cant stay, (Rachel is upset about leaving the orgy with the cigarette guy.) but the rest of us have a lot of work to do. (The cigarette guy starts rubbing Chandlers back.) What are you doing? (The guy just nods) All right, listen, Ive got to wake up!
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.
Ross: Oh, you like it? You wanna know where I got it?
All: ...Hey! You're in a play! I didn't know you could dance! You had a beard!
Ross: Uh, yeah! I still cant believe she hates Pottery Barn!
Monica: Noo!! The point is that is was you that was there that night! It is you that I am marrying! It is you that I feel in love with!
PHOEBE: OK, here I go. . . here I go. . . I'm goin'. [she just sits in the cab]
Chandler: Thats funny, I saw no phlegm.
Monica: I am loud!
Chandler: Nothing! I said, I said "You're so great" and then I just, I just stopped talking!
Ross: And everyone's telling me, you gotta pick a major, you gotta pick a major. So, on a dare, I picked paleontology. And you have no idea what I'm saying, because, let's face it, you're a fetus. You're just happy you don't have gills anymore.
Rachel: Come on! They rushed into this thing so fast its ridiculous! I mean, theyre gonna be engaged for like what? A year? And somewhere along the way, one of them is gonna realise what theyve done and theyre call the whole thing off. Im telling ya, youre gonna be dancing at my wedding before youre dancing at theres.
Joey: (shouting) I can hear you!
Joey: Uh, I dont know. Ya see, its just, see I was a regular on a soap opera yknow? And to go from that to this, I just Plus, Id have to wait on all my friends.
Ross: I got it at Pottery Barn!! Okay?!
Ross: Thats right! He was hitting on her, and I got her. I guess the better man won. (To Joey) Please dont take her from me.
Chandler: (jumping up) Oh, Ill go out and get you some.
Phoebe: I dontshe said yknow that Id have triplets! But she also said one of them would be black.
Monica: (loudly) I know!!!
Monica: Well, Id like to but, (extremely quietly) Im not sure we have time to go.
Joey: You dont think I know that!
Phoebe: All right, I already didn't give them back to you, that's what I said. (Walks away over to Rachel.) Where is that other earring?
Joey: Well uh, she didnt want to hang out with you guys two nights in a row. Im so sorry.
Rachel: I know, I know. I went a little crazy.
Hillary: And after that, what could I do except become a chef.
Monica: I mean theyre trying to do everything they can to make me quit, and if there were any other job, I would. But this is something Ive been waiting for my whole life.
Phoebe: No! I do want to!
Chandler: Oh, yeah, well, poor Richard. Y'... I can grow a moustache!
Joey: I know, but dont you think the sick thing is way better than the play thing?
Rachel: (not sure of what to do) Yknow what? I dont, I dont think Phoebe really wants to come.
Phoebe: Okay, I didnt understand that, but yknow, maybe thats cause you were speaking the secret language of love!
Phoebe: Okay then I dont have a choice! I have to buy that lamp!
Rachel: What?! No! Im not gonna move out!
Rachel: (gets it) Oh. Yes! I would so move out!
Monica: Yeah, well you call her and tell her that yknow when we were kids her precious little Frannie tried to undress me several times, okay? And if I hadnt have stopped her, there probably wouldnt even be a wedding to go too.
Phoebe: All right. Well, don't worry, I call shotgun! (She starts out the door.)
Chandler: (To Monica) Yknow I think you can take her.
Janine: Yknow, I know youre talking, but all I hear is, "Blah. Blah. Blah-blah-blah."
Monica: Well, I know that would make Joey happy, so, I would like that too.
Rachel: No, you're right, you are absolutely right. I mean that makes, that makes everything different.
Monica: What did I tell you about the hall?!
Janine: Ill see you.
Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him that it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
Monica: Now come on. (They hug like men.) Well, Im glad we worked things out.
Chandler: Yeah, Im sorry man. (Pause) You wanna go watch?
Joey: Yeah uh, what am I gonna do?
Ross: (pause) No. But... it only has to happen once. Look, you and I both know we are perfect for each other, right? I mean... so, the only question is... are you attracted to me?
Joey: Yeah! Yeah. Ill be all right.
Ross: Uh, oh-oh, no you didnt. I did.
Monica: (Obviously enjoying this setback) Ugh, I guess it got sent to the billing address as opposed to the shipping address. (by now she can barely keep herself from smiling) Uh! What a pickle.
Chandler: I made that joke up.
Phoebe: Hey. I'm so excited; I just set up Rachel with the worst guy tonight.
Chandler: That is funny. It was also funny when I made it up.
Ross: I dont know, I mean you were a lot bigger, I mean, stronger back then.
Monica: If you're not going then I don't want to go either.
Chandler: What, no, "Nice apartment, I bet the bedrooms are huge?"
Chandler: Yeah, I guess.
Monica: Wait a minute, I can get ice at the restaurant
Rachel: See Pheebs, I promised you no one would die, didnt I?
Chandler: (pause) Yes. (to Rachel) Okay, theres this one guy, Patrick, I think youre gonna like him, hes really nice, hes funny, hes a swimmer.
Kristin: (reluctantly) I guess.
Chandler: I dont think this town is big enough for both of us to relax in. (He blows on his hand) Draw!! (He quickly pulls the lever to raise the foot rest, like a gunfighter in a Western.)
Rachel: Okay, but Pheebs, Pheebs, Jack gave up a cow, I gave up an orthodontist. Okay, I-I-I know, I know I didn't love him-
Jack: Last winter I went up on a church lawn and drove right through a manger scene. The papers thought it was a hate crime.
Rachel: (thinks) I dont know.
Chandler: No, I hope not! I tried to offer him some money, but he wouldnt take it.
Phoebe: I dont know. (Pause) Me neither.
Monica: What?! Ross y'know this isnt even about you! I mean this is about Rachel and something wonderful happening for her. I mean you know even if youre right, what if he wants to sleep with her, does it mean he gets too?
Dr. Green: (interrupting him) I know!! Its a museum! What, youre the only one around here who can make a joke! At least mine was funny. Ah, waiter, we will have two lobsters and a menu. (nods at Ross, and mouths I dont know to the waiter.)
JOEY: [to a wedding guest] How's that pig-in-the-blanket workin' out for you? [the guy nods] I wrapped those bad boys.
Monica: No, my eye doctor is Richard! I cant go to him when I dont have a boyfriend!
Joey: Maybe I could be a waiter. Could I use the phone?
PHOEBE: Alright, now I will let go if you both stop.
Chandler: (who has just entered) Is that Joey? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him! I wanna talk to him!
Ross: (I can't make it out.) The uh, your hair, before, your hair, you said you thought your looks like an 8-year-old's, and I'm just saying I like it. The hair.
Phoebe: Fine. The reason that I was leaning a little bit more toward Rachel than you is just that youre just kinda high maintenanceOkay lets go to lunch!
Phoebe: I guess it was kinda funny.
Chandler: I drew my own bath, but I did it wrong! The waters tepid. The salt didnt dissolve and is now lodged places. And the scents I used dont compliment each other. Eucalyptus and chamomileOh!
Rachel: Hey you guys... You're never gonna believe it. This headhunter called me. I have a meeting tomorrow with Gucci. Gucci wants me.
Rachel: Oh, oh, I love that Japanese place.
Monica: I know. Where do you wanna go eat?
Rachel: I cannot believe her.
Rachel: What? Wait a minute. What are you saying, that Im a pushover? Im not a pushover.
Rachel: I just y'know, I didnt expect him to be this happy so soon. Ufff. Ooo-ooh! (sits down on the curb)
Woman: Id love an ice water.
Chandler: I think you smell great! (He sniffs her shoulder.)
Phoebe: I didnt know Playboy prints jokes.
Ross: Uh, yeah, Ill take a coffee. Thanks, man.
Allesandro: (entering) I want a retraction! Our food is not inedible swill!
Joey: Okay, I guess it doesnt seem that weird.
Rachel: No, I have all of the good words. OK, fine, fine, we can switch.
Jay Leno: (on TV) Y'know, don't take this wrong, I-I just don't see you a-as a mom, somehow.. I don't mean that, I don't mean that bad...
Ross: Joey, seriously, can I get my coffee?
Phoebe: Ooo, a crossword! Can I help?
Pete: Okay, my trainer, Ho Chi, is teaching me a combination of Gee Koon Doe and Brazilian street fighting, Ive even had my own octagon training ring designed.
Chandler: Phoebe if it helps Alexandra has only been massaging Monica for like three years. (Phoebe rolls her eyes and walks away and Monica glares at him.) If! I said, "If it helps!" (Goes to the bedroom.)
Monica: Well, then, Im okay with being high maintenance.
Monica: I am not high maintenance!
Phoebe: That true, I am flaky.
Rachel: Yeah, and I am okay with being a pushover.
Joey: Oh, man, I could totally get that part. Im sorry, that seat is taken.