words in movies
Chandler: Sure! Just give me a second to get all huffy and weird like you! Do you believe that who everdid something over here last night did what they did or didn't do ...I mean come on!!
Ross: OK you...you really don't know what I am talking about?
Ross: OK! Last night after the party I saw Rachel kissing that jerk from her office out on your balcony.
Chandler: Our balcony? Seriously? That's so funny because I told Monica we should put lights on our balcony. And she said"No, no. It's too cold, nobody will go out there." And I said "Maybe if we put some light out there they will"
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Ross: Why...Why should I? I mean if she wants to move on, that's fine!
Ross: No I'm serious. I mean she wants to date people? Fine! I don't care but...at least she could have told me. You knowI...I've been putting my life on hold and just concentrating on Emma but if she wants to go out there kissing guys shebarely knows, then so will I ! Very funny! Ross is gay! Ah! Ah!
Ross: I don't know. I mean I have plenty of opportunity. Just just now there were some women at the coffee house smiled at me.And then the other day on the subway a woman "accidentally" sat on my hand.
Chandler: Why did I get married?!
Joey: Hey! Let me ask you guys something. I have a new headshot taken tomorrow right and the photographer said she thinks Ishould have my eyebrows waxed. Is that weird for a guy?
Monica: No I totally disagree. No I think it's fine for a guy to do something like that. Such you an actor. Not that you need to,your eyebrows are...
Joey: Oh man! I have to get those done too?!
Phoebe: Oh before I forget, are you coming to Mike's piano bar tonight?
Monica: Only if I don't have to get up and sing.
Monica: No no, it's not working on me. Wow! I must be growing up!
Monica: So I don't have to sing and I can just sit there and pass judgments on others?
Rachel: Hi guys! Listen I really need your help. I think I did something really stupid.
Rachel: No not that. I kissed Gavin last night.
Monica: Wait wait wait. I was at home the whole time. How did I missed that?
Monica: I thought you hated him?
Rachel: I don't know. It's so complicated. I work with this guy, you know, I have the baby, and I have Ross, and I just...I don'tknow what to do and I have to be at the office and see Gavin in ten minutes.
Rachel: Or...I could call in sick and not deal with it at all...
Joey: OK Thanks.(Joey touches the hot wax). I touched the stuff
Sonia: We'll get to the wax in a minute. First I want to tweeze some of the strays, ok? This may sting just a little bit...
Joey: Please I have an extremely high threshold...Holly Mother Of God! My face! My face!! I'm all right! I'm all right!Just a little bit of shock that's all but I'll be fine you can go again. I'm OK(He tries to avoid the tweezers) Dammit! Woman!! How Hoooow!
Ross: Not well. I went on the subway again and someone did sit on my hand but that person was neither female nor wearing pants.
Chandler: Well maybe you're going about this the wrong way. You know I mean think about it. Single white male, divorced three times,two illegitimate children. The personal ad writes itself....
Chandler: What are doing? You know I can only dish it out!
Ross: I can't believe Rachel just moved on and didn't say anything to me
Ross: No. When he called, I...I threw the message away.
Ross: You know what? Enough! Enough talking! I have to get moving! Hey check out those two blondes over there!Hey come with me!
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Chandler: I thought I had to make the jokes!
Ross: Hum...So...hum...Oh hey I noticed you were reading the paper...another flood in Europe? Here�s a question: "Would you...would you rather drown or be burnt alive?"
Gavin: Gavin! I brought you some soup.
Gavin: I heard you were sick...
Gavin: I missed you at work today. How are you feeling?
Rachel: I a not gonna lie to you, I'm pretty sick
Gavin: Oh! Good! Because I was having a totally paranoid moment when I thought you called in sick to avoid me.
Gavin: So I had fun last night
Rachel: So did I
Gavin: Exactly how contagious is this thing you have? I mean is it a cold for standing on the balcony or did a monkey bite you?
Gavin: Right. Right. Ross. So what's the deal with you guys? I don't want to get in the middle of anything
Rachel: I lied! And I'm not sick! Just stay behind the curtain!
Molly: There is a man behind your curtain. I have a mace in my purse.
Molly: Hello! I just go and get Emma.
Gavin: So hum...Why did I have to hide?
Rachel: I thought it was Ross.
Gavin: So what if it was? I thought there was nothing going on between you two...
Gavin: You hear a key in the hole and you jump like a young bronco coming out of a chute for the first time. I used to be arodeo clown.
Rachel: All right. Look. Gavin...I...I guess I felt guilty that you were here, which I shouldn't. You know Ross and I are not inany relationship but...he is the father of my child, and you know we do live together and plus there is just so muchhistory...you know it's just...I don't know, I'm sorry, I'm just all over the place.
Gavin: It's OK. I know it's probably not my place but can I give you a piece of advice?
Gavin: I think you should talk to Ross about all this.
Mike: Oh she's my girlfriend. That's not just how we do it here. I got to get a break and when we come back we've got Kennethsinging "I touch myself"...I'm not here to judge!
Monica: No I told you I can't.
Monica: Yeah I do rock that one.
Monica: Just a little but...it's just so scary! I don't even know what I would sing...
Ross: Hi! I could help not notice, but that's an unusual necklace
Ross: Right, so that's a firm "no". I cannot believe this, I just keep striking out.
Chandler: I don't get it neither, I mean you're obviously desperate, you're asking women how they want to be killed
Her friend: I don't know sweetie.
Michelle: All I ever wanted was just love him and have him love me back. I mean, am I so unlovable?
Ross: I know! (he stands)
Mike: All right, that was Kenneth with his much too literal rendition of "I touch myself". Coming up next we've got Monicasinging "Delta Dawn".
Monica: Wait wait! I can't sing in front of all these people.
Joey: Hey, I need your help.
Joey: Look, I'll get new headshot taken, all right, so I want to get my eyebrows shaped
Chandler: I am sorry, moment to make fun of that, please!
Joey: You may be a sissy but I'll still (pound you out on ground). All right, it hurts so bad, I could only let her do oneeyebrow and now... they don�t match!
Joey: All right, look, you got to help me out, ok? Look, I have the magic marker, I want you to fill in the skinny one soI don�t look stupid for my pictures.
Joey: What the hell am I supposed to do!
Chandler: All right, I will help you out but you have to promise me you will not tell anyone what I am about to tell you.
Chandler: Ok, you know how most kids get their allowance from mowing the lawn or taking out the garbage, well I earned mineby plucking the eyebrows of my father and his �business� partners.
Chandler: Yeah, well, I guess you don�t need my help Victor Victoria!
Joey: Ok all right, no, no, no, no, I do, I do, I do, I need your help, but Chandler I don�t know if I can take anymoreplucking. It hurts so bad!
Monica: "Take me to the mansion in the sky-y". I am sorry, the song is over. Did you see me out there?
Monica: I can�t believe I did this. I can�t believe I'm singing for the people, and they liked me! Hey, did you hear thatone shouting �look at those tips�! I mean, did I really help you get a lot of tips?
Monica: Good? Didn�t you hear them...I was great! Thank you so much for making me do this. That�s is the best gift ever.
Michelle: Thank you so much for letting me do this. Public bathrooms freak me out, I can't even pee, let alone doanything else.
Michelle: It�s so amazing I met you the same day that Eric broke up with me, because it�s like you lose a boyfriend,you get a boyfriend.
Michelle: No don�t worry, this is not some rebound thing. I am totally over Eric.
Rachel: Oh, hey! Hi, there you are, I�ve been looking for you everywhere!
Ross: Oh, yeah, hello, well, now, here I am.
Rachel: Listen, my mum is not bringing the baby back until nine o� clock. So I was hoping you and I could have achance to kind of talk� somebody here?
Ross: Oh, just this woman I�ve been seeing.
Ross: Yeah, didn�t I mention that? Yeah, I mean, we haven�t being going out for too long, but rather there is thisamazing connection between us. I-I mean, in fact just before you came in she called me her boyfriend. I thought it wasa little too soon, but it was also, you know, it was kinda nice.
Ross: How great is this? You are already comfortable enough to look through my stuff. Oh, I am sorry Michelle, that�smy roommate, Rachel.
Rachel: Hi, and I am also Emma�s mother.
Ross: I told you about my daughter.
Michelle: This is your daughter? I can be your new mummy!
Joey: Oh my God! I didn�t feel a thing ! Hey, are you still looking for a job because you can tweeze circles aroundthat sadistic bitch at the saloon
Chandler: Yeah, yeah, I think it looks pretty good. I was a little worried I was uncovering a birthmark right aboutthere, but it turned out to be a little piece of chocolate.
Monica: Ok, for my next song I think I�ll sing something a little more upbeat. All right? Oh, how about the PointerSisters �I am so excited�. And make it bouncy!
Chandler: I am sorry I am late. You�ll understand when you�ll see Joey.
Monica: Honey, you�re just in time, I�m about to sing another song!
Phoebe: Oh? Isn�t that funny? I didn't see that before, I wouldn't have let her go up again.
Chandler: I gotta stop this.
Monica: Oh, who cares, they still love me! "I am so excited..."
Ross: I told you it wasn�t long, but there is an amazing connection between us.
Michelle: You feel that too? Oh, I thought that was just me!
Ross: I don�t know, are we just kissing guys on balconies?
Ross: Through the magic of sight! I was here, putting our child to sleep...
Ross: When I happened to look through the window and I see you kissing a guy you know, for what? A week?
Michelle: No, actually, see I had to pee, �cause I can�t use public bathrooms because the doodie parasites.
Ross: You know, if it�s meant to be, I�ll guess it. Bye, bye.
Ross: Oh, I am sorry, did you not like her, because I was hoping that we could come to one of your kissing parties onthe balcony.
Rachel: Oh God, I can�t believe you�re making such a big deal about this. It was one kiss, one guy, one time!
Rachel: Why didn�t I get that message?
Rachel: From the guy in the bar, why didn�t I get that message?
Ross: Because I folded it up and put in my pants pocket. Do you...do you not look there?
Ross: I never gave it to you.
Ross: I don�t know.
Rachel: Oh God. You know what? Who you think you are? Who are you to decide what messages I should or should not get?
Ross: Who am I?
Ross: I am the guy who�s taking care of our baby while you�re out at bars meeting guys!
Rachel: Oh my God, I cannot believe this. You know I actually came in here hoping to have a mature conversation with youAbout us! But I can�t do that with someone who hides my messages and brings crazy women back to my apartment!
Rachel: Oh, Ross, this is just so messed up! What�s wrong with us? You know when people hear about our situation theyAlways ask, �what, you live together but you�re not a couple? And you have a baby, isn�t that weird?� And I say �No.You know what, it�s not, because it works for us!� But you know this doesn�t work. In fact this is the opposite of working!
Rachel: Hi. Can Emma and I live here for a while?
Chandler: �Jeremiah was a bullfrog. Was a good friend of mine, never understood a single word he said, but I helped himdrink his wine.� So you just touch yourself for anything?
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
Rachel: Well of course I do! But yknow, favorite returning character is a tough category Joey. I mean youre up against the guy who survived his own cremation.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Chandler: Yes! And thats why Im under the table. Celebrating.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
ALISON: Oh, my major was totally useless. I mean, how often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher wanted"?
Rachel: (flinches) Ross! Come on! That's all right! Fine--Okay, I have a weird thing about my eye. Can we not talk about it please?
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
Chandler: (realizing) I have *not* thought this through!
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.
Bob: Toby! Im not gonna let you cover for him. Anything you say right now will just get me more upset with Chandler!
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Monica: Chandler, please dont think I was trying to pressure you. Phoebe and Rachel
Chandler: I don't have a *job*!
Rachel: Oh, yknow I'm not that much of a sweet tooth. I(Chandler puts a forkful of the cheesecake in her mouth.)Wow. My God, so creamy. Oh my God, this is the best cheesecake I have ever had. Where did you get this? (She reaches over to look at the label on the box.)
Ms. McKenna: Boston is down, Atlanta is down, Houston is down, I could go on and on but instead of boring you Ill go straight to my forty two point plan.
Ross: Oh, I can't tell you how great it was to look at the crowd and see your face! I mean... uh, did you know you were (giggles) mouthing the words along with me?
Rachel: Am I the only one who doesn't think that she's hot? Ross?
Ross: Dr. Gettleman? Yeah I know, I don't think that's a good idea. In fact, I think he's dead.
Ross: All right Emily, as much as I love you, I'm sorry, I can't move to London without Ben.
ROSS: Bye Marcel. See ya on the big screen. You keep people drinkin' that beer, OK. I miss you buddy.
Monica: No, no, no, I don't make chocolate pies. When I was younger I-I enter in this pie-eating contest. I ate so many that just the thought of them made me sick.
Monica: Oh my God! You cleaned! (Gasps) Look at these floors! You did the windows! Oh, I have been begging you for months and you did! You cleaned! And nagging works!
Rachel: I was giving you an appology and you were totally checking her out!
Gavin: I thought it was ok when you slept with your old assistant Tag.
Part I Written by: Michael Borkow Part II Teleplay by: Shana Goldberg-Meehan & Scott Silveri Part II Story by: Jill Condon & Amy Toomin Part I Transcribed by: Eric Aasen Part II Transcribed by: Aaron D. Miller
Gavin: Why do you even care if I was looking at her? Are you jealous?
Joey: Man, I wish I had a nanny like you.
CHANDLER: So, when I woke up this morning, he'd stolen all the insoles out of my shoes.
Rachel: (to Joey) Hey, listen, Joey, about Molly, I really prefer if you didn't go after her.
Joey: Oh, man, why did have to go and say that for? Now that you told me I can't have it makes me want her even more!
Joey: Well, I didnt realize until I got home. I wasnt gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe! Yknow what? Im gonna go find that guys car and leave a note on the windshield. (Goes to do so.)
MONICA: Oh I was just doing Chandler's side of the conversation.� You know, like, "Hi, How do I look?"� (As Chandler) "Really sexy.� Could I BE any more turned on?"
Phoebe: I don't know, I kinda like Bob for a girl.
Mike: I don't know but they don't sound like spa treatments. You have to get rid of it!
Mike: OK, I don't want to freak you out or anything, but I think I just saw a rat in your cupboard.
Chandler: Oh. You mind if I join you?
Ross: I am, yes.
Joey: Actually, that will be long. You know, I really need to organize my thoughts.
Joey: Allright, fine, I only have one thought! It's about the hot nanny, I gotta see her!
Chandler: I'm afraid I can't let you do that, Joe.
Chandler: Yes, as a matter of fact he did, so I can't let you go.
Rachel: Um, excuse me Gavin, I have a question I need to ask you.
Rachel: I was faking it! Can't you tell when I'm being fake?
Phoebe: Me too. Although this city is my home, so. So thats dumb what I said, dont tell him I said that. Umm, you make something up. (Mischa does so and Sergei kisses her hand.) Nice, (to Mischa) thank you. This is me. Here.
Joey: Hey Rach, so can I sing happy birthday to you now?
Ross: Where the hell are Joey and Molly? I asked you to watch them.
Joey: Oh, I didn't go to college.
Chandler: She doesnt know. Says she loves us both. Y'know I woke up this morning and I was in love, well I was happy. Y'know it serves me right for buying that twelve pack of condoms. And now I cant even return them, because she choked on the reciept!
Joey: I wanna be mr. Wigglemunch. (and makes a "there" nod to Ross)
Ross: Ok ... (they leave the room, long pause) Well, uh, Joey, I guess we have no problem.
Rachel: Oh, great! Well, then I'm gonna take Emma to see him. I wonder why Ross said that he died.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Mike: No, I think you're sweet.
Nurse: Yes, I see that here. Unfortunately we cant guarantee a private room and currently theyre all unavailable.
Larry: Well, I suppose I could give him a warning.
Rachel: Hi. Thanks for the party, honey. Should I help you clean up?
Rachel: Okay fine, I did. But I didnt see anything, I swear.
Monica: No way! You had your party, now I have mine! Is everything alright?
Chandler: Im not great at the advice, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Some cheese?
ROSS: Can I ask you somethin'?
Gavin: I really mean it.
Chandler: Okay, its just weird! Okay? I dont want to be standing their saying my vows and then having the mental image of you and Monica! I-I-I need I dont know what I need. I need a walk.
Rachel: No thats just(Laughs)Thats just cause Im such a good messer!
Joey: Boy I tell ya, this little talent came in handy before I could afford porn.
Phoebe: Listen, I think I've left something here.
Gavin: I do have feelings for you.
David: Hey! Oh, I was just about to leave. I-I-I-I didnt think you were coming.
Phoebe: (likes the jacket) No, but I like it. I think I left one of my rat babies.
Chandler: Oh, uh, well, I haven't seem it but if I do I'll let you know.
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
Monica: Wait a minute! Now Im betting against all three of you?
Joey: Listen, I ah, I know its a longshot. But, by any chance did she find that funny?
Gavin: Yes, I feel that you are a little annoying.
Ross: (not getting it) Yeah! Yeah! Rachel picked it out for me. She told me to trust her and you know what? I'm glad I did! I turned quite a few heads on my way over here.
Policeman: Its Petty. (He grabs Rosss license.) Ill be right back with your ticket. (Walks back to his car.)
Chandler: All right, I suppose I can wait a day. Hey, what are you doing Friday?
Rachel: Wow! I cant believe thats our baby.
MONICA: No no, the father can, but um, since I am the roommate I can tell you that she's not here and I'll pass along the message, ok. So bye-bye.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Mr. Geller: Of course. Ill always be your dad.
Monica: (entering, in a hurry) Guys! Guys! I just saw two people having sex in a car right outside.
Woman: How much do I owe you for the muffin and the latte?
Chandler: (not knowing the true meaning of her exclamation) I know, but just let me say it.
Joey: My beers?! Look you guys, shes a very nice girl. Okay? We had a good time, but I justI dont see it going anywhere.
Monica: (from her bedroom) Okay! Ill be right out. Im slipping into something a little less comfortable, and a little more slutty.
Rachel: No its okay, this is whats gonna happen. Im gonna wait a couple years and then the baby will tell him.
Phoebe: Okay, I would ring the bell to distract him and then I would knock the gun out of his hand with a Chinese throwing star.
Will: Oh, Ill-Ill be fine. Just God I hate her Ross! I hate her!
Mrs. Geller: (lying) Ive gotta call my friend Mary and tell her how good this is, from Monicas room.
RACHEL: I didn't know you guys hung out.
Ross: (To Joey) I know, I wasnt finished. (Joey motions him to finish.) (Yelling at the street) But dont worry! Were gonna go down the fire escape!!
Ross: Really? That would be great. I mean, I have to do something, she kinda teased me about how I dress.
Jill: This is where Ross and I are meeting for our date. So, what do you think? (She spins to show Rachel the outfit shes wearing.)
Rachel: No, so I dont have to get married until Im 33! Thats three years, thats three whole yearsOh, wait a minute though. Ill need a year and a half to plan the wedding, and Id like to know the guy for a year, year and a half before we get engaged Which means I need to meet the guy by the time Im thirty.
Rachel: No! I do not care what my hormones are doing, I am not going to just do it with some random guy!
Joanna: I seem to have had a slight office mishap. Could you please get the key off the back of the door for me.