words in movies
Phoebe: ...sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle;and away they all flew like the down of a thistle; but I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight!"
Monica: I can't believe you're not gonna be here for Christmas.
Chandler: Yeah, we have all this paperwork that needs to be filed by the end of the year. If I don't get it done, I'll be fired.
Phoebe: Oh, I like my job.
Joey: I *love* my job.
Rachel: Yeah, I can't *wait* to go back to work.
Ross: I can't get *enough* dinosaurs!
Chandler: I'm sorry, I won't be here.
Monica: It's just... It's hard enough not seeing you during the week, but for Christmas... alright, if this is what you have to do, I understand.
Chandler: Did I not mention that?
Chandler: All right everybody, I know that it's Christmas Eve and you'd rather be with your families, but there's *no* call (he takes it off) for writing "Screw you, Mr. Bing!" on the back of my chair! (he looks at it) -- By the way, you can all call me Chandler.
Wendy: I was, uh, checking out that insurance company's Christmas party on three, oh, it was really beautiful, they have all these decorations and this huge tree and I just, uh... to hell with them, we have to work. -- So I stole ther ham. (She turns the cardboard box upside down over the conference table, a big piece of ham falls out.)
Chandler: Y'know what, I know what will cheer you guys up! (he starts spreading envelopes among them) I had a little talk with the boys in New York, told 'em about all the hard work you've been doing and that a little Christmas bonus may be in order.
Chandler: I'm sorry. Hey, at least you guys get to go home and be with your families tonight. I have to go back to an empty hotel room and lay down on a very questionable bedspread. And then tomorrow morning, you get to have Christmas morning in your own houses, wich, by the way, none of you have invited me to.
Phoebe: So here is a, a very special holiday song that I wrote for some very important people to me. (singing:)
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, I'm right here.
Chandler: No, you don't have to, and you can't because I, I live here too.
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
Rachel: Chandler, that's not enough. I mean what if she gets you a great present, two medium presents, and a bunch of little presents? And you've just gotten her one great present? I mean that's just gonna make her feel bad. Why would you do that to her Chandler? Why? Why?
Chandler: If I help, we can find 'em faster!
Rachel: (Reading from a tag that's attached to the shoe) "Dear losers, do you really think I'd hide presents under the couch? P.S.: Chandler, I knew they'd break you."
Rachel: Wiper blades. I don't even have a car.
Phoebe: Ahh, toilet seat covers! Is that what you were doing while I was getting gas?
Ross: Well this, this is too much, I feel like I should get you another sweater.
Monica: Okay Ben, why don't you come open some more presents, and Santa, the Armadillo and I have a little talk in the kitchen? There's a sentence I'd never thought I'd say.
Chandler: You called everyone and said you were having trouble finding a Santa costume, so I borrowed one from a guy at work!
Chandler: But I didn't get to shake my belly like a bowl full of jelly.
Chandler: Did I not tell *anyone* about New Year's Eve? -- Alright, look, go! Go home, okay? Merry Christmas! Go.
Wendy: Naah... I couldn't leave you alone.
Wendy: Besides, I can't leave until their Christmas party downstairs clears out; there are some *pissed off* insurance people looking for that ham.
Chandler: Ahh, Merry Christmas; I miss you guys!
Chandler: It is. Did I... not tell you about her?
Chandler: I sent them home.
Chandler: I don't know!
Chandler: I don't think of her that way, you know, she's a, she's a colleague.
Monica: Alright, well, maybe I should let you and the second prettiest girl in Oklahoma get back to work.
Chandler: Well, second prettiest that year; I mean, of *all* the girls in Oklahoma, she's probably...
Chandler: Ah well, she's got this weird idea, that, uh, y'know, just because you and I are alone, that something is gonna happen.
Chandler: I don't know; I'm not used to girls making passes at me! ... (She lets go of his tie) Wait a minute... am I sexy in Oklahoma?
Chandler: Well look, it's not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. She's entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, she's amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...she'd kick your ass. Look, you're a really nice person... ham stealing and adultery aside. But, what I have with my wife is pretty great, so nothing is ever gonna happen between us.
Chandler: I mean, you were the most beautiful woman in the room tonight!
Chandler: You kidding? You're the most beautiful woman in most rooms... (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! What's going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Monica: I know, I just thought it would be fun.
Monica: Drunk enough that I know I wanna do this. Not so drunk that you should feel guilty about taking advantage.
Chandler: I know.
Chandler: Well, I have kissed over four women. (They kiss again.) Do you wanna get under the covers?
Chandler: Well I think it's safe to say that our friendship is effectively ruined.
Monica: Well uh, you and I are just goofing around, I thought, why not just goof around with him.
Chandler: Y'know, I don't know if you've ever looked up the term goofing around in the dictionary... Well, I have, and the technical definition is, two friends who care a lot about each other and have amazing sex and just wanna spend more time together. But if you have this new fangled dictionary that gets you made at me, then we have to, y'know, get you my original dictionary. I am *so* bad at this.
Monica: I think you're better than you think you are.
Chandler: Y'know, I sensed that I should stop. So we're okay?
Monica: I can't get married until I get something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue.
Monica: You're so efficient. I love you!
Chandler: Oh, okay, I have condom in my wallet that I've had since I was twelve.
Chandler: I don't think so.
Monica: Listen umm, I've been thinking, it's not fair for me to ask you to spend all of your money on our wedding. I mean, you work, you work really hard for that.
Chandler: Look, I thought about it too, and I'm sorry. I think we should spend all of the money on the wedding.
Chandler: Yeah, I'm putting my foot down. Yeah look, when I proposed I told you that I would do anything to make you happy, and if having the perfect wedding makes you happy, then, then that's what we're gonna do.
Monica: No, I want everything that you just said. I want a marriage.
Chandler: I love you so much.
Monica: I love you. (They kiss.)
Rachel: (opens her present from Ross; it's a dark-red scarf) Oohh, I love it!
Chandler: I wanted to be with you. I missed you so much.
Chandler: I never want to leave you again!
Monica: But I thought if you left, you get fired.
Chandler: Turns out they can't fire me. Because I quit.
Chandler: Yeah! It's a stupid job, and I could not stand leaving you. And why should I be the only one who doesn't get to do what he *really* wants to do?
Chandler: (realizing) I have *not* thought this through!
Chandler: I know, I, I should have talked to you first about it.
Monica: No, I think that this is what you wanna do, I think it's great!
Phoebe: Chandler, your being here is the best Christmas present I could have ever imagined.
Rachel: Wha... are you kidding? I can't return this.
Chandler: I... thought it was a timely start to thinking about other people. Besides, this gift still says I love you guys.
Chandler: I don't have a *job*!
Chandler: Actuary... no. Book-keeper... no. Topless dancer... (he looks down on himself, checking, then nods satisfied and marks the offer with a pen) (to Monica:) Hey, d'you know what I just realized? You are the sole wage earner. *You* are the head of the household. I don't do anything - I'm a kept man!
Ross: Yeah! And! And, it was the easiest 400 bucks Ive ever made.
Monica: (sliding into Joeys place on the couch to try and talk to Phoebe) Huh? Whatd ya say Joe? Ill be right there. (gets up and joins Joey)
Ross: I can't believe I'm about to meet Benjamin Hobart. I've always thought of him as one of the people I'd invite to my fantasy dinner party. Do you think there's any chance he'll bring Christie Brinkley or C3PO?
PHOEBE: Uh-huh, let's go. (they move in to kiss) Oh, wait I have gum. Okay. (they kiss rather passionately) Good, very good, firm but tender. I'd recommend you to a friend.
CHANDLER: Well, I relied on a carefully regimented program of denial and, and wetting the bed.
Ross: Thanks. (he takes the card) Hey, I know where this place is! It used to be an X-rated video... (pauses when he realizes what he is saying) florist. (he goes away)
Ross: Well I, thats the thing, I dont know! I mean, whenever I brought it up with her she said, (In a British accent.) "This is so fantastic! Why do we have to talk about the future? Lets just enjoy "
Phoebe: Oh Chandler! Thank God you're alive. Monica, can I talk to you outside for a minute?
Joey: I know, she may be the hottest girl I've ever hated.
Phoebe: Okay, let's discuss Rachel's birthday. I say we throw a surprise party this weekend.
Joey: What? Are you referring to my man's bag? At first, I thought it just looked good, but it's practical too. Check it out! It's got compartments for all your stuff! Your wallet! Your keys! Your address book!
MONICA: Hey, have you guys eaten, because uh, Richard and I just finished and we've got leftovers... Chicken and potatoes... What am I wearing?...Actually, nothing but rubber gloves.
Monica: Unless... Maybe we do it here. I mean, how much can she even be aware of at this age?
Joey: U-U-Um, I think there's been an oversight.
Monica: You bet your ass Im gonna fire you! Get out of my kitchen! Get out!! (Joey leaves) All right! Anybody else got a problem? How bout you Chuckles? You think this is funny now?
Ross: Oh come on. It's cold, it's dark, he doesn't know the Village. (Kicks a sign in frustration) And now I have a broken foot. I have no monkey, and a broken foot! Thank you very much.
Monica: Oh, and I can also speak a little French. Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Mischa laughs) Why? What did I say?
Ross: No, I get to teach one of his advanced classes! (Pause) Why didnt I get head of the department? (Goes and gets some coffee.)
Ross: Look I-I dont know whats going on with you and your husband and what is hopefully an adult dog walker, look can I just say not all men are like that.
Mrs. Bing: As I recall when we got married, I saw the groom in the wedding dress.
Rachel: Well, I usually go... play Tetris on somebody else's computer.
MONICA: This is for the scratchy twins out there. I taped oven mits to their hands.
Chandler: Okay, so weve established my name, and hit me. But theoretically y'know, I mean say we werent friends, say its a blind date. I show up at your door, and Im like (in a fake voice) Hey, nice to meet, ya. Hey, oh-hey.
Phoebe: Hi Phoebe Abott, Im your best friends daughter!
Rachel: That is right and traditionally the daddy is supposed to give the mummy a present but I am prepared to let that go.
Ross: Okay, remember, we were young. Hey, Spring break, sophomore year, I got high in my bedroom and my parents walked in and smelled it and so I told them that you had gotten stoned and jumped out the window.
PHOEBE: I love you goddesses. I don't ever want to suck your wind again.
Rachel: Well, Joey probably thinks Ill just embarrass him. Yknow, he thinks Im some kind of a soap opera nutWhich Im not! Im not. Although I do know that your uh, your favorite ice cream flavor is butter pecan. (Starts stroking his arm) And uh, and that your-your dogs name is Wally. Well look at that, Im just stroking your arm.
PHOEBE: And you hate fish. Oh. That's so sweet, alright. Ok, alright, you can see. This is me... [she unveils herself right as a huge lightning bolt crashes outside. Ryan screams in terror.] Oh, I am scary.
Monica: Limited seating?! (Screechingly) I am just one tiny person!
Monica: I need a few more things to make the margaritas. Uhh, I need some salt, some margarita mix, and tequila.
Phoebe: No, no, no, no, no... It's not... it's not... i'ts not as bad as it looks... really. I was just saying goodbye to an old friend.
Monica: Come on Chandler, come on, I can handle Ross. (They go to the door. Ross is trying to stick his hand through and undo the chain; Monica pushes his hand back.) (To Ross) Hold on! (She opens the door.) Hey Ross. What's up bro?
Chandler: Oh yeah, it's so cool. (He opens his coat and has it pinned to the lining.) Now I gotta go, Officer Bing has gotta, 10-100. (Pause, softly) That's pee-pee. (Heads for the bathroom.)
Frank Sr.: Y'know what, I gotta go. And thank you so much for coming. (Hands back his glasses and hurries out.)
Whitfield: (sits down) Well, I have to tell you, I was quite impressed with your paper on Pre-Cretaceous fossils. Yeah, it confirmed everything that I have written.
Ross: Right that's why I came over to talk about. Hum...I saw Rachel kissing some guy on your balcony,even though there were NO LIGHTS !
Will: I actually know what youre talking about. Im here to tell you something my friend, you can eat and eat and eat but nothing will ever fill that void.
BEST MAN: (standing up) Yo! Can I have your attention, please, Best Man, making a toast here. Thank you. (clears throat, and starts reading his toast) I remember when Barry got home from his first date with Rachel...
Chandler: Yeah, you got me. (picks up a 2x4 and puts it through the handles so that the doors wont open) Im out five big ones! (puts the money in the crack between the door and frame) Here you go.
Danielle: Well, I've been calling you, but it turns out I had your number wrong. And when I finally got the right one from Information, there was no answer. So I thought I'd just come down here, and make sure you were okay.
Chandler: Yes, well, I expect this from her. Okay? She's always been a Freudian nightmare.
Chandler: (sighs) Just one more thing. I was so pissed at you that night that I wanted to get back at you. So I thought, who does Ross like the more than anybody?
Phoebe: I�m starving. I know we were coming here tonight, I ate nothing all day.
Chandler: Y'know what this is like? This is like when my parents got divorced. Man, I hope Ross doesnt try to kidnap me after Cub Scouts.
Monica: Yknow what? He will forgive you. And I like to bring a pad with me when I go answer the phone just in case (Chandler gets that disgusted look back.) Okay
PHOEBE: Oh OK. [pulls over her shirt and shows a bare shoulder] Oh no, oh it's gone, that's so weird, I don't know how-where it went.
Ross: Sure. Sure. Look I dont, I dont know if your plans are finalized yet, but umm, hey I-I know another great way to blow off steam.
Ross: See, Rach, uh, see, I don't think that swearing off guys altogether is the answer. I really don't. I think that what you need is to develop a more sophisticated screening process.
Monica: As a joke, this customer at work who has a crush on me gave me a $20,000 tip. His number is on the check, he just did so Id call him.
Rachel: I forgot... I am supposed to pick up a friend at the airport. I am so sorry! I'm so... if you want to stay, and finish your drinks, please do.... (gives him her drink) I meanI'm sorry. I-I-I gotta go. I'm sorry.
Joey: Yeah. I realized it about a half-hour ago but I didn't want to say anything 'cause I didn't want to jinx it.
Ross: I know, I know! When I was here for Holidays on Ice (Joey looks around worried hoping no one heard that) I was sitting so far away Michelle Kwan couldn't read my banner!
CHANDLER: Oh, right, well yeah, I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp.
Rachel: Well, apparently she caught him cheating on her with someone else. Isnt that sad? (Giggles.) God, could you imagine if I actually married him?! I mean how different would my life be?
Charlie: No, no, we ended up in great terms. I mean, if anything, I think this could help you. You know what? Why don't we all go out to dinner together, and I can introduce you.
Chandler: Yeah, I think for us, kissing is pretty much like an opening act, y'know? I mean it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through before Pink Floyd comes out.
Rachel: Yeah, Joey kinda disabled it when I moved in.
Ross: He's unconscious, I think we'll be just fine!
Rachel: Oh, Joey, it's so great to be back here. I gotta tell you, you're making it so easy on me and Emma.
MONICA: Yeah, ours pretty much sucked, oh, but, I did run into little Stevie Fisher. Remember him?
Ross: Great! Because people kept showing up, I think its like uh-a thing!
Sarah: Yeah. My Dad says if I spend as much time helping him clean apartments, as I do daydreaming about outer space, hed be able to afford a trip to the Taj Mahal.
RACHEL: Oh, no, no no. I meant that he's gonna be paying that other woman beause she's a professional.
Joey: Okay, the ring fell on the floor and I went down to pick it up and you thought I was proposing.
Rachel: What, no, no, no, mine are deceptively small I mean, I-I-I actually sometimes, st-stuff my bra.
Joey: (To Monica) Okay! Look-look-look, uh, if youre gonna be moving in with him I feel its my responsibility to tell you the truth about him! Okay? Hes a terrible roommate! Terrible! He uh, forgets to umm Oh-oh he always, he always ummOh, who am I kidding! Hes the best roommate ever! (Hugs Chandler.)
Richard: Okay thats fine, Ill walk away. And Ill never bother you again, but only if you tell me Chandlers willing to give you everything I am.
MONICA: No no no, if I couldn't pay you back right away then I'd feel guilty and tense every time I saw you.
Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?
Monica: Stop it Chandler. (Chandler is relieved) Im sorry too.
Monica: Hey. Okay, so umm, since that video camera thing didn't work out uh, I thought that I would give you just a little preview. (Hands him a Polaroid.)
Monica: Alright (shrugs). I think it's a big mistake but it's your decision.
Cecilia: Im supposed to meet and hug a fan whose dying, but thats not supposed to be until (to no one in particular) later!
Rachel: Okay, no, that's not the right decision. That's not, that's not right, no Ross-Ross, come on! I mean, that woman made you miserable! Okay, Ross, do you really want to get back into that?
{Transcibers note: In case you havent heard, Courteney Cox got married to David Arquette during hiatus and changed her name to Courteney Cox Arquette. But David was a busy boy during the off season for not only did he marry but everyone else as well. For theyre all listed as Jennifer Aniston Arquette, Lisa Kudrow Arquette, in an interesting twist Matt LeBlanc Arquette, Matthew Perry Arquette, David Schwimmer Arquette, and even the creators of the show are now David Crane Arquette and Marta Kauffman Arquette. I just wonder what the new sleeping arrangements are }
Aurora: Why can't we just have what we have now? Why can't we just talk, and laugh, and make love, without feeling obligated to one another... and up until tonight I thought that's what you wanted too.
Monica: Thats a good idea! I bet they have one of those wind machines! Yknow (Does the whole hair blowing in the wind model type poses.)
Phoebe: No! There-there was a little, a little diff in the market and I lost 13 million dollars.
Phoebe: Ice sculpture? That sounds really fancy! I told you I just want a simple wedding.
Stu: Either that or shes just the best, most expensive date I ever had.
Janice: Oh wait you two think of me as family?! Oh, I have to ask you something now and be honest; do you want me to sing Careless Whisper or Lady In Red?
Joey: Okay, I wanted to surprise you, but for your house-warming gift, I got you a baby-chick and a baby-duck!
Rachel: Well, I was actuallyI-I came over here to-to borrow this lamp. To umm, look at my books, y'know, see them a little better.
Ross: Please! Are you kidding? I-I hurt three huge men, I gave a guy a bloody noseI mean I-Im not proud of it but, I really am. And its all because of you, wonderful, amazing you.
Ross: Why-why would I care about that?
Roy: I don't know... I can make my pecs dance... I can pick up a dollar bill with my butt cheeks... I can go to that special place inside me where I feel no shame.
Joey: I guess I'll get washed up then. Watch that sunrise. (He goes into the bathroom.)
Catherine: All the appliances are included. There is a lot of light, a new kitchen... I think you guys would be very happy here... (Joey and Chandler both realise what she's assuming and start laughing.)
Rachel: Woow!I haven't seen you this worked up since you did that dog food commercial and you thought you were gonna be with a real talking dog!
Pete: And I feel like Ive conquered the business world, and I feel like Ive conquered the intellectual world, and now I-I have the most beautiful woman in the world.
PHOEBE: Uhh, I can't stop thinking about it. It's just so hard. I just wanna grab all these houses and rub 'em all over my body. [Grabs a handful of the houses.]
Ross: I just, I dont understand, I mean, how-how can she do this? Yknow, what, am I, am I like a complete idiot for thinking that shed actually show up?
Joey: No, no, Emma has one Hugsy, the new Hugsy, huh? The other Hugsy, I don't know, I guess I'll just take it back.
Joey: I just got this really weird message from Ross. He said turn on MTV.
Rachel: Emmm. Now, instead of the vegetables, is there anyway I can substitute the three-pound lobster?
Phoebe: Um, well, get over it. So, I mean you, you just seem to be a really nice guy, you know. Don't be so hard on yourself okay.
Phoebe: Yeah, ooh, I like that! Yeah. Wait! How do you know about bah-bah-bha-bhan?
ROSS: I don't think tho.
Phoebe: Im wearing his briefs right now.