words in movies
[Scene: The Wedding Hall, Monica and Chandler have just said "I do," and the photographer is taking the required pictures. First of Monica, Chandler, Ross and Joey.]
Ross: (To Monica) Okay, I know Im not supposed to know, but I do. And Im so excited for you!
Monica: Guys! Im not pregnant.
Monica: You didnt tell anybody I was did you?!
Ross: No! (Pause) Ill be right back. (Exits.)
Joey: I cant! I-I dont have any other clothes here.
Monica: Because Im not.
Phoebe: We found your test in the trash, if youre not pregnant(She sees Rachel shaking her head)Its because I am.
Phoebe: Yes, I I am with child. (Flash) And I didnt want to say anything because its your day; I didnt want to steal your thunder.
Monica: Wait a minute! So you told people I was pregnant?! (Flash) Does this look like a conversation that I want to remember?!
Phoebe: I cant say.
Phoebe: I cant say because hes famous.
Chandler: Yknow I am the groom right? I was told it was kinda big deal.
Rachel: Oh, thank you for doing that. I just cant deal with this just quite yet.
Rachel: You said that she was, I just didnt disagree with you.
Phoebe: Oh, I know. I could only think of two names, him and Ed Begley Jr. and then I remembered hes gay.
Chandler: Before we go out there Ive got a present for ya.
Monica: Honey, Im going to put my hand in your pocket!
Chandler: Ive been taking dancing lessons.
Chandler: Yeah, the last six weeks. I wanted this to be a moment you will never forget.
Chandler: I dont know, its these new shoes, theyre all slippery.
Monica: Well, the good news is, I dont think anyones looking at us.
Rachel: Ugh! Look honey yknow what? I havent told him yet, so until I do I dont think I should tell anybody else.
Phoebe: Okay, Im sorry. Ill stop.
Rachel: Honey, stop it! I am not going to tell you until I tell him.
Joey: Im sorry! Okay? I went down to the gift shop and its either this or a bathrobe! Look, whats more important, the way Im dressed or me being with you on your special day?
Monica: Honey, Im not even going to pretend I was listening. (Sees someone else.) Hey! Hey! (Goes over to that person.)
Ross: Hi. Im uh, Im Ross. I dont, I dont believe weve met. Im Monicas older brother.
Woman: Oh hi, Im, Im Mona from her restaurant.
Mona: You think so? Ive always kinda hated it.
Mona: Really?! Well see? I never knew about her.
Ross: (sexily) Yes there will. (Mona leaves and Ross tries to find the same table.) Oh guess what, Molly Gilbert youve just been bumped up to table one. And if its all right with you Im gonna take your place at table sixMartin Clickclocken.
Joey: Thats better, now just bend your arms a little more. There you go. Okay, look straight ahead. Now this time I want you to really put your ass into it. (They do a practice swing and she really puts her ass into it.)
Mrs. Bing: Chandler darling! Look, my date has finally arrived. Id like you to meet Dennis Phillips.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, Im so sorry I missed the ceremony, I was stuck at auditions.
Joey: I dont believe weve met, Joey Tribbiani.
Joey: Wow, Ive admired your work for years. You-youve done some really amazing stuff.
Dennis Phillips: Oh, thank you. Well if youll excuse me, Im gonna go get myself a drink. Be back in a moment. (Walks away.)
Ross: Hey! Uh, I thought, I thought you were at table six.
Ross: Oh see, before you uh, when you showed it to me you-you held it that way (he turns her hand upside down) which uh, which was misleading. Well Im (He goes at sits down at his new table and the kids stare at him.) Hello.
Joey: Chandler. Will you see if your mom can give my resume to Dennis Phillips? Cause if I can get in a Broadway show then I wouldve done it all, film, television, and theater. The only think left would be radio, and thats just for ugly people.
Chandler: Great, because my shoes are giving me a little problem on the dance floor, can I borrow the boots from your costume?
Joey: Uh, I dont even really know where I left those. Sorry.
Joey: Okay fine! Im a seven! All right, I have surprisingly small feet. But the rest of me is good, Ill show ya!
Rachel: I dont know! Maybe they have tools.
Monica: Maybe. I just hope she realizes how hard its gonna be.
Monica: Well, theres a lot to think about. I mean, how is she, how is she going to handle this financially? How is she going to juggle work? Does she realize shes not going to have a date again for the next eighteen years?
Rachel: (starting to cry) I dont know.
Rachel: Uh-hmm. Im just thinking about Phoebe; poor knocked up Phoebe.
Phoebe: Well, I just got off the phone with my lover, James Brolin
Phoebe: Yes, and apparently he is married to some singer, but he said he would leave her for me. And I said, "James, James Brolin, are you sure?" James Brolin said
Rachel: I dont know. I dont know how I feel. This is all happening so fast. I have to make all these decisions that I dont want to make. (Takes another sip of champagne and spits it back out) Somebody just take this away from me!!
Phoebe: When I got pregnant with the triplets, I took that test like three times just to make sure.
Phoebe: Im-Im just saying, dont freak out until youre a hundred percent sure.
Rachel: All right, Ill-Ill take it again when I get home.
Phoebe: Ill run out and get you one.
Rachel: WhHey, I just gave you peeing on a stick.
Ross: It was the chair again! Okay? Im not doing it! It whatlook, I dontyknow whateh-eh (He walks away and goes over to Mona.) Hi.
Ross: I wasnt farting! (To Mona) Uh, a little game from our table. (To the little girl) Yes?
Ross: Oh umm, well uh, maybe-maybe later. Right now, Im about to dance with this lady.
Mona: Id be happy to. (To Ross) You are very sweet.
Chandler: Yes, I told him how talented you were. I told him all about Days Of Our Lives.
Joey: No-no! No! No! You dont tell a Broadway guy that! Now he just thinks Im a soap actor.
Second Girl: Can I go next?
Mona: Okay, but I get to hop on after her. (Ross bites the air in response.)
Ross: I am so gonna score.
Ross: I like your bow.
Joey: (clinks his glass) Id like to propose a toast. To Monica and Chandler, the greatest couple in the world. And my best friends. Now, my when I first found out they were getting married I was, I was a little angry. I was like, (overly angry) "Why God? Why? How can you take them away from me?!" But then I thought back over all our memories together, some happy memories. (Does a fake laugh.) And-and there was some sad memories. (Starts to break down and cry.) Im sorry. And-and some scared memoriesWhoa! (He jumps back, startled.) Eh? And then, and then I realized Ill always be their friend, their friend who can speak in many dialects and has training in stage combat and is willing to do partial nudity. (Starts to walk away, but realizes something.) Oh! To the happy couple!
Fat Girl: Im next!
Ross: Im trying. (He strains to move his feet.)
Ross: Maybe I should stand on your feet! (Gerts shocked and Ross realizes what he said and tries to brush it off.)
Joey: Well, Id like to think there was something for everyone. Look, I know youre casting for this new show
Joey: Oh, see thats where youre wrong. Whatever it is I can do it. And if didnt see it up there, just-just try me.
Joey: Well Im not proud of this, but (He turns around and starts to mess with his eyelids.)
Monica: Ohh come on, I love this song! Come on, youll be fine. (She starts to walk towards the floor.)
Chandler: (sliding up behind her) No. No, I wont. Do you know why I took all those lessons? See, for the first time I didnt want you to be embarrassed to be seen on the dance floor with some clumsy idiot.
Monica: Oh sweetie, you can never embarrass me. (Chandler grunts.) Okay, you can easily embarrass me. But come on, it doesnt matter. All right? I married you! So I want to dance on my wedding night with my husband. Come on. (They go onto the floor.) Just try not to move your feet at all. (Chandler starts to get into the groove and bust a move.) There you go.
Mr. Geller: Chandler, Im gonna have you arrested.
Monica: (entering) Did I miss it? (Phoebe nods no.) Rachel, I-I want you to know that, if its positive, were gonna
Rachel: Oh I know. I know. (They hug.)
Rachel: Oh wait! Yknow what? I cant, I cant look at it. I cant. Somebody else tell me, somebody tell me.
Rachel: Thanks. (Crying) God this is so stupid! (Pause) How could I be upset over something I never had? Its negative?
Phoebe: Well yeah, I lied before.
Rachel: Yeah. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby. Im gonna have a baby! (They all hug.)
Ross: I just didnt see the fast song coming.
Mona: No, I mean it. There are so few genuinely nice guys out there.
Joey: Tell me about it, I feel like Im holding down the fort all by myself.
Ross: Wait a minute! No! Im the nice one! Im the one who danced with the kids all night! How How small are your feet?! (They all look down.)
Rachel: Oh, Phoebe, do I wanna hear this?
Joey: Just kiddin, Ill talk to them, you distract Rach.
Phoebe: No. No! It's just y'know first, I wanna take off all my clothes and have you rub lotion on me.
Monica: I can't believe they called, and we're actually getting a baby. (she kisses Chandler)
Chandler: You kidding? Youre the most beautiful woman in most rooms (She jumps up and kisses him.) (Breaking the kiss.) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whats going on? You and I just made out! You and I are making out?
Monica: Well, um, because mainly, um, they dont like you. Im sorry.
Ross: Well I told you it was Chandler who was smoking the pot but it was me. Im sorry.
Ross: This is crazy! I mean, yes-yes Rachel is my good friend and I-I have loved her in the past, but now, she is just my wife! Phoebe, will you-will you help me out here?
Rachel: Well yeah, I do, but I decided to take a long lunch and spend some time with my friend Monica. Y'know I-I feel that we don't talk anymore. How are you? What is new with you?
Rachel: Im talking about a bet, winner takes all.
Rachel: Phoebe, Im going to Rosss wedding because he is my ex-boyfriend and that would be really uncomfortable. Not because, Im still in love with him! I mean, hey, yknow, I like Ross as much as the next guy, yknow? Clearly I have feelings for him, but feelings dont mean love! I mean, I still have loving feelings for Ross. Yeah! But, I have, I have continuing feelings of love, but that doesnt mean that-that Im still in love with him. Yknow? I-I have sexual feelings for him, but I do love himOhh! Oh my God! Oh mywhy didnt you tell me?!!
Phoebe: Okay, first of all, breathe. Second of all, I dont get it. Arent you the one that decided that you didnt want to be with Ross?
Chandler: Well, last time I saw him he was heading out the door with the brides maid and a bucket of strawberries. So uh, youre not still upset about what that guy told ya are ya?
Joey: No it isnt, I ate that.
Phoebe: Thats short for Phoebe?! I thought that was just what we called each other!
Joey: I had to get out of the apartment. Janine is like stretching all over the place. Yknow, everywhere I look shes like (He imitates her stretching)
Joey: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler this is (Goes and picks up the sandwich) the greatest sandwich in the world!
Ross: Im sorry you lost your money, but I won it fair and square.
Joey: I like her so much!
Joey: Nope, got it and I got yours (Pointing to Jack) too.
Monica: Aw, Im sorry sweetie that she doesnt feel the same way.
Monica: Well honestly ever since we got engaged I have been waiting for something to, to flip you out.
Janine: Yeah, thats what I said.
Chandler: I can see why thats hard to resist.
Ross: I am so over Janine. I mean, yeah, at first I thought she was hot, but now shes like OLD NEWS!
Joey: Totally! I would love to spend New Years with you.
Janine: Well Im gonna be on it this year. Im gonna be one of the party people.
Chandler: I dont think so.
Chandler: No. And if I did, I don't think we'd be going out. Monica, this is getting ridiculous!
Chandler: Really?! I-I thought you werent looking for something serious? I thought you were looking for some kind of a fling.
Mr. Geller: Boy, Im glad I wore the big belt today.
Chandler: Oh, just like I said. That crazy... Bert... roaming the halls. (Joey bangs on the door again)
Ross: Oh my God its just like I dreamed it!
Joey: That's great. Listen, wouldn't it be great though if I got to play Ben's dad?
Rachel: Okay, you look in the kitchen, I will look in the back closet.
Rachel: Mrs. Kay! Oh yeah, she was sweet. She taught me Spanish. I actually think I remember some of it, tu madre es loca. (I think thats your mothers crazy.)
Chandler: I can save you time ladies, Im right here.
Ross: (to Joey) Oh no, she took down Monica... And I'm the crier in the family. Oh God! I could be next. Maybe she won't talk with me if it looks like we're deep in converstation. Oh, so that thing you said about the thing. It really made me think about that other thing.
Rachel: I just- I dont think us getting back together is a good idea.
Frank Sr.: Well Lilly, when you see Lilly would you give her that, that note? Because I wanted to talk to her at the memorial but, well I pictured her getting mad at me the way you got mad at me and I well, I chickened out. So, uh, I wrote her that note, would you give it to her please?
Joey: Its not what you said. Its the way you said it .Oh My God, Im a women!!!
Chandler: No, I have a great idea for a present for her.
MONICA: Um, I straightened out your shower curtain so you won't get mildew. What? To me that's nice.
Chip: Not so good, Simmons and I gave him a wedgie.
Ross: Hey, hello! mmwa! (kisses Carol) I brought all the books, and Monica sends her love, along with this lasagna.
Ross: We-we-weI remember being in a chapel.
Ross: Thats a different issue. Uh, the point is, when the baby comes I will be there to to feed her and bathe her and change her. And more than that I want to do all those things.
Chandler: Alright, lo�look. I don�t smoke anymore. But if the rest of you want to light up, go ahead, it�s fine. (everyone lights up) So you all smoke then? That�s almost rude, that I�m not.
Monica: Hey, Rach, can I borrow your eyelash curler, I think I lost mine.
PHOEBE: All right. I'll do it, I kissed him before I can do it again.
Rachel: You know Pheebs, when I was little, on my birthday, my daddy would hide a present in every room of the house, and then he would draw a treasure map to help me find 'em all.
RACHEL: Oh god. I think I'm gonna be sick.
Joey: I do. Theres uh, lets see, Guy With a Mustache, Smokes-A-Lot Lady, Some Kids Ive Seen, and A Red-haired Guy Who Does Not Like To Be Called Rusty.
Monica: Excuse me, sir, would it help if I werent wearing underpants?
Rachel: Wow, Monica, I love that, you really have faith in me. Thank you. Technical question, how do you know when uh, the butters done?
Joey: (pounding the table) I wanna gooooooo!
Judge: Well, based on what I heard, you two certainly dont qualify for an annulment. If you two dont want to be together youll have to file for divorce.
Tall Guy: No I dont think so.
Joey: Hey! Tall guy! Hey, listen, I wanted to talk to you about that girl that youre dancing with.
Chandler: I'm sorry, I thought you were Joey's other grandmother. (She just stares at him.) I've done it again.
Phoebe: I cant have any. You know I dont eat meat. (Faking dissapointment.) Ohhh no.
Ross: Wait a minute! I saw that! On The Discovery Channel, yeah! About jellyfish and how if you... (stops suddenly and turns to look at Monica) Ewwww!! You peed on yourself?!
Monica: Ross, I think we should stick to the routine, we dont wanna look stupid!
Joey: Oh yeah-yeah. And I got the duck totally trained. Watch this. Stare at the wall. (The duck complies.) Hardly move. (The duck complies.) Be white. (The duck complies.)
Rachel: Yes, okay, oh, by the way, I just gotta say, I think it's really nice of you that even after you've moved, you still keep storing that stuff for Joey!
Rachel: No, Im just kidding I would never do that to you! Okay, everybody, its trifle time!
MONICA: No no. See, in my bedroom I set my clock six minutes fast. You wanna know why?
Ross: Look, this is a disaster! Can't I please just go?
Phoebe: Hey! Look who I found!
Ross: God, I don't believe this. She could be giving birth in the cab.
Chandler: You know that thing, when you and I talk to each other about things?
Carol: Joey, Ross is gonna be here any second, would you mind watching Ben for me while I use the ladies' room?
Joey: Really? In the moment, I really wanted to kiss you too. In the moment.
Monica: I can do it, okay? Come on, lets go. (She and Ross get up)
Chandler: Okay, Im a rookie. I should not be in the end zone.
Monica: I cant do it! (Ross falls into Monicas room)
RACHEL: I can't believe this is happening.
Janine: I gotta go.
Joey: Okay, Im all right, okay, but hey, could you just leave your lips? (She kisses him on the cheek and starts to leave.)
Janine: Okay, now Im really late. (Gets up.)
Rachel: I know.
Phoebe: I dunno, lets see! So, okay, I dreamt that we were gonna get married, and he left, becuz he had to go fight a fire. And, um, so okay, I went to a night club, and I saw him making out with a girl.
Joey: (indignant) I was tired!
Rachel: Monica look! Look-look-look! Here is that table that I ordered. (Shows her the picture.)
Joey: Hey! I made that for her!
Joey: The question should be Rach, what is not so great about The Shining. Okay? And the answer would be: nothing. All right? This is like the scariest book ever. I bet its way better than that classic of yours.
Monica: Okay-okay, I got it. I got it.
Joey: Yeah! I made it of this fruit bowl I found in the garbage.
Janine: I had so much fun tonight, and what a great restaurant.
Joey: I guess.
Phoebe: Oh, well um, not right now. Y'know Im just gonna go to bed, I think the fumes are giving me a headache.
Phoebe: Okay, then you dont know what it feels like when one of them comes back. Do you? I believe this is my Mother. Even if Im wrong, who cares? Just be a friend. Okay? Be supportive.
Rachel: Oh, okay see I thought, I thought you meant how much was it when it was new, yknow like back then.
Joey: Oh-ho-kay, Im talking to the king. (starts to go to a back room)
Ross: Fine, Im mentally unstable.
Rachel: So, if-if I mess this up, theres nothing else for dessert?
Chandler: I dont know, but dont worry, dont worry, because I know how to take a picture now. (They get ready) Okay, see? Look down (Looks down), look down, look down (He falls asleep.)
Chandler: Well, I-I guess I gotta go.
Joey: (entering from the elevator caring gifts for the kids) Hey, you guys! Look what I found in the giiiiiiift shop. (He doubles over in pain in front an old man in a wheel chair.) Get up! Get up! Get up! (The old man waves him away.)
JOEY: When I was little, I wanted to be a veteranarian, but then I found out you had to put your hands into cows and stuff.