words in movies
Phoebe: I'm fine, thanks.
Monica: No. I think we learned that from the sugarlips incident. I'm gonna get some tea.
Gary: I know, really well. In fact, I'm gonna ask Phoebe to move in with me.
Monica: I swear, I promise. I promise. Oh my God, I'm so excited! {And I just can't hide it! I'm about to lose control and I think I like it! Sorry, just couldn't resist it.} All right, listen let me tell you, do not get her flowers. Okay? Because y'know, she cries when they die, and there's the whole funeral
Phoebe: No, I like him a lot but I don't think I'm ready for this!
Chandler: I'll try, but I'm not sure what good it would do, y'know? Because I'm a lot less afraid of commitment than I used to be.
Rachel: All right listen umm, I just bought something I'm not sure she's gonna like it, and it's gonna seem a little crazy, but this is something that I wanted since I was a little girl.
Rachel: Ugh! Look you guys, I'm really excited about this! Okay? I don't care what you think! I'm gonna go set up a little litter box for Mrs. Whiskerson. (They both glare at her.) Well, what am I gonna call her? Fluffy?!
Chandler: Gary, I'm here to report a crime.
Gary: So you know what I'm talking about, right?
{Y'know, sometimes I think the script writers throw in a line like that to try to trip me up. But it won't work. I'll always have the last laugh! <manical_laugh.wav> Okay, so maybe I'm a little deluded, it's probably just my spellchecker. But, I must admit I did get Mesozoic and Paleozoic on the first attempt. Yay me! Anyhoo }
Monica: (on phone, faking she's sick) I-I'm not gonna be able to make it into work today, I don't feel very good. (Joey makes a high throw and Monica has to catch it way over her head.) (Not sounding sick) Yes!! (Realizes what she just did.) (Sounding sick again) Wow! Uh, for a second there I thought I was really better, but I'm not. (Hangs up and keeps throwing the ball.)
Phoebe: I really don't want to mess up what we have. I'm justI'm worried it's gonna be a big mistake.
Phoebe: Uh-huh! (They hug.) I'm so happy. (She's not happy.)
Chandler: I'm not a dropper!
Rachel: (she's wearing an oven mitt to protect her hand) I give up you guys, I don't know what I'm going to do with this thing!
Rachel: No Mon that's not the point. I'm out a thousand dollars, I'm all scratched up, and I'm stuck with this stupid cat that looks like a hand! (Storms out.)
Phoebe: I know, I'm so excited!
Phoebe: Well, you're not more excited than I am! No way! I'm the most excited!
Phoebe: Oh, I'm sorry, the oven mitts really freaked me out.
Phoebe: Yes. Yes! Fine! I am someone! You want me to say it? I have doubts! (Pause) I'm sorry! (Puts her head down.)
Rachel: (makes some unintelligible sound to stop her from leaving) Obviously you know how to haggle, so I'm not gonna try and take you on. Okay? So $800 and I don't call the cops because you're robbing me blind! Blind! (Covers her eyes) Just take cat, leave the money, and run away! Run away! (Uncovers her eyes and sees that the woman has fled) Damnit! (To the cat) Cat, can't you at least smile or something?! (The cat hisses at her again, it sounds like Rachel) Okay, did anybody just hear that? Anybody?
Ross: I'm starving!
Ross: I'm still hungry!
Rachel: It's not! I'm defrosting a chicken. (Pause) Oh, I uh sold Mrs. Whiskerson.
All: That's terrible! I'm sorry!
All: All right. Okay. I'm starving! (They all get up, thus officially ending the game.)
Chandler: Y'know, how did I get this reputation as a dropper? Okay? I'm anything but a dropper. (We see various scenes of him dropping a football, a mug of coffee, the phone, an apple, a Frisbee, a record, and the final scene has a ball bouncing off of his chest. I'm not going to describe them, you'll have to see them.)
Phoebe: I'm in vice. Yeah, in fact I'm undercover right now. I'm a whore.
Rachel: See? Why, Gavin, why? Right when I'm about to change my opinion of you, you go and you ... (he kisses her) and you do that ... (they kiss again)
Ross: (loudly) So I'm going over to Amanda's tonight!
Chandler: Okay, our news. My company has asked me to head up our office in Tulsa , so as of Monday I'm being officially relocated.
Steve: I'm not funny either. So, if you were thinking, "well, he's not that good-looking, but maybe we'll have some laughs"... That ain't gonna happen.
Chandler: Hang up, hang up. And that was a great movie! (Monica hangs up) I'm so gonna get back at Ross... oh yeah, this will show him, here we go (starts typing something).
JOEY: Ahh, forget about it, I'm havin' a ball. How's the apartment doin'
Joey: (entering, with bag) Hey! I'm off to my audition. How do I look?
Joey: OK so I'm out four thousand dollars and nobody's boobs are getting any bigger?
ROSS: Yeah, it was, but...I get home, ok, and I see Julie's saline solution on my night table. And I'm thinking to myself, oh my god, what the hell am I doing? I mean, here I am, I am with Julie, this incredible, great woman, who I care about and who cares about me, and I'm like, what, am I just gonna throw all that away?
ROSS: Ok, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? Opposable thumbs. Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs?
Carl: I'm just sayin', if I see one more picture of Ed Begley, Jr. in that stupid electric car, I'm gonna shoot myself! I mean, don't get me wrong... I'm not against environmental issues per se.... it's just that guy!
TRANSIT AUTHORITY GUY: He's here. (Chandler and Joey hug each other in relief) I'm assuming one of you is the father.
Ross: This... this is exactly what I'm talking about. What kind of a guy makes... makes... delicate French cookies, huh? They're not even... butch, manly cookies with... with... you know with... with chunks. (takes a careful bite from the cookie)
Chandler: I'm gonna go tell Emma she was an accident. (Runs off.)
Rachel: I'm not gonna gooo.
Rachel: Oh hey Ross... Listen, I heard about you and Charlie. I'm really sorry.
Rachel: (to maitre d') Hi, I'm here to see mr Campbell... with Gucci. The reservation is probably under Gucci. It's spelled like Gukki, which could be confusing.
Phoebe: Yeah, I should go to, `cause I'm playing in one hour. Hey, (clears her voice and in her normal voice) you guys should come hear me, ooh hear me. Ooh, (tries to sing) My sticky shoes--eww! Eww! I lost my sexy phlegm!
Monica: I'm sorry, okay. It's just that Chandler has somebody, and Phoebe has somebody- I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby.
Chandler: Yeah. Just weird, you know. It's like: "Hi, I'm Chandler. May I have the human growing inside you?"
Monica: All right, I'm out of oven space. I'm gonna turn on Joey's. Please, watch him! Do not let Joey eat any of the food!
Erica: I'm really happy for you guys.
Phoebe: Nothing, I'm sorry, I'm just, I'm out of sorts.
JOEY: Well, I'm makin money now and this is payin' you back for head shots, electric bills, and so many slices of pizza I can't even count. I love ya man.
Joey: I don't know. Who'm I'm married to?
Joey: Hey! I'm getting a little tired of this okay? We said we're sorry. It's Thanksgiving for Pete's sakes! A day of forgiveness!
Joey: Oh, ehm...I'm...I'm rehearsing my lines.They gave me a big romantic story on Days Of Our Lives. It's the first time my character's got one. I'm so nervous, you know, I really want it to be good!
Phoebe: Shh! Doogie, shh! Doesn't anybody understand that I'm gonna be having babies soon? Huh? Go! Go little boy, go!
Ross: Well, I'm so excited about this.
Rachel: I know! It's like I'm being punished for not having this disgusting, poisoning habit!
Mike: (takes the check from Phoebe) Ok, look! Enough! Alright? I'm stepping in. I'm putting my foot down! As your future husband I'm going to make this decision for us. (thinking) Now... what do you think we should do?
Joey: Yeah! I'm fine! Thanks! (He starts to leave, but gets an idea and stops.) Hey Rach, how you doin'?
MONICA: Oh my God, I can't believe what I'm getting ready to say. I wanna have a baby, but I don't wanna have one with someone who doesn't really wanna have one.
DR. REMORE: There's something I never told you Amber. I'm actually your half- brother.
JOEY: Great, well, I'm happy for ya. [picks up the orange juice carton and it's empty] Alright that's it. He just comes in here, Mr. Jonny Neweggs, with his, his, his movin' the mail and his, his 'see ya pals'. And now there's no juice. There's no juice f or the people who need the juice and want the juice. I need the juice.
Monica: (Into the phone) Hello? Chandler, what's wrong? (She listens) Oh my God, are you alright? (listens some more) Yeah, I'll be right there. (She hangs up and speaks to Amanda) I'm so sorry, but Chandler was in a car accident. (She gets up)
Chandler: That's not true. I came with Monica and I'm leaving with Weird Al.
Mike: I'm sorry, really, I'm so embarrassed. Really, I'm a pretty nice guy. Just ask my parole officer...Apparently I'm not a funny guy.
Charlie: (to Gunther) Excuse me, I'm looking for someone. You don't, by any chance, know a Ross Geller?
Joey: Hey, hey, hey, hey! I'm not gonna mess with Jack, he's a great man, he fought for our country.
Joey: Thank you! Alright, let me see how I'm gonna start... "Dear baby adoption decider people..."
CHANDLER: Well, I'm guessing he wants to do a little dance. . . ya know, make a little love. . . well pretty much get down tonight.
Joey: Can you believe this? Al Pacino! This guy's the reason I became an actor! "I'm out of order? Pfeeeh. You're out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order!"
Phoebe: (no accent) Uhm... Okay, well, allright, uhm... Originally I'm from upstate, but uhm... then my mom killed herself and my stepdad went to prison, so... I just moved to the city where uhm... I actually lived in a burned out Buick LeSabre for a while... (frowns are received) which was okay, that was okay, until uhm... I got hepatitis, you know, 'cause this pimp spit in my mouth and... but I... I got over it and uhm... anyway, now I'm uhm... a freelance massage therapist, uhm... which, you know, isn't always steady money but at least I don't pay taxes, huh... (everyone in the room finds it a bit surreal, which Phoebe realises and starts to talk in the accent again) So... where does everyone summer?
Monica: Thanks. Like, check out my new catering stuff. (Picks up two frying pans) Look at this! I'm an omelet station! Omelet? Made to order!
PHOEBE: Um, I'm gonna have a cup of the cucumber soup, and, um, take care.
Amy: Now listen, not that you guys could stop me or anything cause you know you'd be dead. I was thinking about changing her name. I'm just not really a big fan of Emily. [Transcriber note: I'm surprised that Rachel and Ross didn't say they weren't either here]
Phoebe: Well, like acoustic folksy stuff. You know? But right now I'm working on a couple 'Iron Maiden' covers.
Ross: My way?! You-you think this is my way? Believe me, of all the ways I ever imagined this moment in my life being, this is not my way- y'know what? Uh, um, this is too hard. I'm not, I can't do-
Rachel: No, I think I'm gonna catch up on my correspondence.
CHAN: I'm telling you this thing won't print. Yes, I pressed that button like 100 times. You know, for a hot line you are not so hot. What? What is that in the background? Are you watching Star Trek?
Ross: Well I'm thinking that Chandler's our friend and Janice makes him happy, so I say we just all be adult about it and accept her.
Monica: Really? I'm really tired of being your relationship tutor. You're gonna have to figure this one for yourself. All right? Y'know what? If you're too afraid to be in a real relationship, then don't be in one. (She walks out.)
Mrs. Geller: No, I'd be hearing about 'Why didn't I get the honey-glazed ham?', I didn't spend enough on flowers, and if I spent more she'd be saying 'Why are you wasting your money? I don't need flowers, I'm dead'.
Erica: Anyway, I'm gonna go and get some rest. I'm really glad I picked you guys. You're gonna make great parents. Even Chandler.
Ross: Yeah, I'm a friend of Rachel Green's. Uhm, actually we met at the Christmas party about two years ago.
ROSS: Well, I guess I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find out where he is.
Joey: I'm, I'm okay. See. (tries to smile, but fails horribly)
Chandler: Oh, man. In my next life, I'm coming back as a toilet brush.
Ross: Oh, oh. Of course. God, I'm so stupid. You guys are a couple now. I mean, you probably just want to be alone.
Lydia: Mom, we've been through this. No, I'm not calling him. I don't care if it is his kid, the guy's a jerk. No, I'm not alone. Joey's here. (pause) What do you mean, Joey who? (covers the phone, to Joey) Joey who?
Phoebe: I thought I was going home to go to bed, but I'm sensing there's something less fun for me to do here.
Joey: Look Phoebe I'm so sorry! Hey, look, if you don't like this guy I can find you a better one. (Looks around) Mike!! Mike!!
Joey: Well, I've been thinking about this whole commercial thing, y'know me going up against Ben, the two of us competing, and that can't lead to anything good. So, I think I'm just gonna step aside. I'm gonna tell them that I won't audition.
Rachel: Hey, look, you guys, I'm going for anything here, OK? I cannot be a waitress anymore, I mean it. I'm sick of the lousy tips, I'm sick of being called 'Excuse me...'
Phoebe: (to the squirrel) Okay, stop tormenting me! This mink! Okay, they're mean! And they hate squirrels! And y'know, okay, most of these probably wanted to be coats! (The squirrel stares at her.) All right, fine, now I get it. (To the clerk.) Here. (She hands him her coat.) You take it. (To the squirrel.) Are you happy now? I'm cold!
Ross: Dude, don't worry 'bout it! I know how we can make your money back! This is a nice hotel, you know, plenty of amenities, we just load up on those! Like those apples. Instead of taking one, I'm... I take six!
Chandler: Of course I'm awake. Assume from now on that I'm always awake! (He turns the light on)
Chandler: Oh no no no no, I'd love to be somebody's assistant! Answering phones, getting coffee, I live for that stuff! And I'm not too mature... farts, boobies, butt cracks!
Precious: I'm not letting you leave until you tell me what's going on here. I mean, are you guys getting back together or something?
Monica: I'm fine, just a little tired, I'm okay. How's Richard doing?
Ross: (looking at Joey's butt) I'm finding it really hard not to mess with him.
Rachel: No...oh, I feel so stupid! Oh, I think about the other day with you guys and I was all "Oh, Paolo, he's so great, he makes me feel so..." Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed!
Monica: You are! (she picks up a bill from the table, handing it to Chandler) Hey, here's twenty bucks. -- Why don't you go buy yourself something pretty while I'm at work tomorrow?
Rachel: Alright, alright, so I'm not a great typist...
Mr. Geller: I'm not freaking out, I'm just saying, if somebody had come to me with the idea andndash;
Monica: (sits down) Oh good. Good, look I'm so sorry, for screwing up that cutting-her-out plan. But I have a new plan. Chandler agreed to call here in a few minutes with an emergency.
Chandler: You're damn right I'm right. I say you show this guy what you're made of. I say you stand your ground. I say you show him that you are the baddest hombre west of the lingerie.
Ross: You don't have to do anything. It will just be easier if it is the two of us, like college, remember? You...you break theice with some kind of jokes so that they know you're the funny one and I swoop in with some interesting conversation, sothey'll see that I'm the brilliant, brooding, sexy one...
Monica: (entering from her room) Hey, guess what I'm doing this weekend! I'm going to this culinary fair in New Jersey.
Rachel: Ok...this could be a little awkward...I'm just going to blow past it... well can't you just use that method actor thing where you use your real life memories to help you in your performance?
Monica: Well, I'm sorry, but Chandler and I could really use a weekend away. You know, to reconnect... emotionally.
CHANDLER: Oh, it's a website, it's the, uh, the Guggenheim (sp?, I'm not an art guy) museum. See, she likes art, and I like funny words.
Danny: Oh great! That special bond again! Why do women have such a problem with the fact that I'm close with my sister?
Ross: (knowing she's not alright) O-kay. Well, I'm gonna go grab us some breakfast. (He starts to leave)
Ross: Oh, I'm sorry, did I say "invest it"? I meant "be cool and piss it all away" (Joey and Chandler pleased)
Rachel: Well, well, well, hop back in bucko, cause I got four sixes! (lays down cards) I won! I actually won! Oh my God! Y'know what? (collects chips) I think I'm gonna make a little Ross pile. (holds up a chip) I think that one was Ross's, and I thinkohthat one was Ross's. Yes! (Starts singing): Well, I have got your money, and you'll never see it...
MINDY: I'm Mrs. Dr. Barry Hunter hyphen Farber.
Joey: I'm serious. You're amazing. You know when to spritz, when to lay back.
Ross: (singin) Hey, hey, I'm your daddy. I'm the one without any breasts.
Owen: I'm adopted?!
GAIL: I'm Gail.
MONICA: I'm outa here. [Monica leaves]
CHANDLER: (on pay phone) Come on, pick up, pick up! Hello? Transit Authority? Yes, hello. I'm doing research for a book, and I was wondering what someone might do if they left a baby on a city bus. Yes I do realize that would be a very stupid charact er.
Joey: Listen, while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omelet or something... (Joey and Chandler taste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'm really not that hungry...
Chandler: Because you know how competitive you get and well, I say it's cute, others disagree, and I'm lying!
Erica: No! (To Monica) You we're right, that was fun! I'm gonna go finish packing.
DUNCAN: Oh God, I don't know how to tell you this. I'm straight.
Ross: (Watching Marcel and talking to Rachel) I wanted this to work so much. I mean I'm still in there, changing his diapers, pickin' his fleas... but he's just phoning it in. Just so hard to accept the fact that something you love so much doesn't love you back.