words in movies
Joey: Well, hey! Well... (he takes his mug to toast Phoebe) Here's to Phoebe, who's found the greatest guy in the world! To Phoebe and... (a bit uncertain) I wanna say Mike? (pause) To Phoebe and Mike!
Joey: (Looking inside the fridge, and we only see his back. Then he closes the door, and we see it's Joey.) Hi sweetie!
Charlie: Ah, well, unless it's the creepy guy with his hand up his kilt, I'm gonna say congratulations!
Joey (to Chandler): Look, c'mon, please? It's not like I'm asking for some crazy favour. This is what I do for a living. I am a professional actor! (he glances at his watch and sees the time) Oh, man, I'm two hours late for work! (he stands, ready to go). Look, here's a copy of my reels. It's got all the commercials that I've been in.
Charlie: Me too. (she and Benjamin are hugging for very long and Ross starts pretending to clear his throat, until they stop)
Joey: (yelling back) No you didn't! (turns and goes towards his room)
Chandler: (following him) I'm telling you, I watched the tape. (Reaches Joey's room and Joey slams the door in his face)
Ross: (Rolls his eyes) I guess!
(Joey comes out of his room)
Joey: (very angry) You wanna know wh...? You wanna know why? (goes back into his room)
Joey says "Ichiban". It displays a few girls dancing around and Joey fills most of the screen, he puts something blue on his lips and smacks them saying "Lipstick For Men!" It goes on to show him playing a guitar and putting on more blue lipstick. In the end he says seductively "Ichiban... Lipstick For Men" and "Sahiko" and it ends. Chandler and Rachel are speechless.)
Joey: (Yelling at Chandler) And that's how I know you didn't watch the tape! (goes back to his room and slams the door).
(Ross shakes his head)
Joey: (enters from his bedroom) What?
(Joey leaves for his bedroom, and Rachel grins. She then takes Gladys and enters Monica's apartment.)
Benjamin: (puts his hand on Ross's other cheek) I'm sorry too...
(There are scratching and squeaking noises coming from the living room, and Joey wakes up, terrified. He pulls his blanket higher. The doorknob is turning.)
(She closes his door again, and turns around. Then she starts screaming, terrified. There is Glynnis... And Monica holding her up, laughing.)
Chandler: (entering from his bedroom) Guys, come on! Let's go! The puck drops in 20 minutes! Come on, Joe!
[The Gellers stare at Ross. Ross looks at his parents with an afraid, shocked look.]
(Phoebe is trying not to smile. He moves closer and very shyly holds out his hand and turns his head, hoping for Phoebe to take his hand. She doesn't.)
(Joey quickly tries to hide Hugsy by throwing it over his head.)
Ross: (puts away his wallet) And what is second prize?
(The director shakes his head.)
MONICA: Cheers.� (She clinks his glass and pulls back.)� Okay, buh-bye.� (She closes the door.)
JOEY: Oh, yeah. He's got that great baby smell. Get a whiff of his head.
Joey: And then, then he could use his teeth, his teeth to undo her dress, and, and, and bite her!
Rachel: (seeing his new table) Ohh! Oh my God!
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Monica: (slapping his hand) Hey!
[Cut to Las Vegas, Joey is on the phone and wearing his gladiator costume.]
CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Joey: Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Chandler: Yes! (Hangs his head in shame.)
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
Chandler: Was his question whats more boring than him?
Monica: Youre his bitch.
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Rachel: Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
Dr. Wesley: (with evil dripping off his tongue) Remoray!
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
Paul: (laughs then checking his watch) 1 minute 50 seconds.
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Monica: How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head!
Chandler: (sticking his head in the door) Okay to come in?
Janine: (She takes his hands) 3, 2, 1. (She kisses him) Happy New Year.
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
(Rachel yanks on his legs again and he groans in pain.)
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
Male Jeweler: Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. (Holds them up from his pocket.)
Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]