words in movies
Ross: (Enters from his bedroom)Who the hell was that?!
Rachel: Oh you know what, you sound just like his wife!
Rachel: Yeah well, not anymore I can't. He fired us! What are we gonna do? We have to find a pediatrician. Wait wait, Monica said that when you guys were growing up, you really liked your doctor. What was his name?
Ross: You know? Come to think of it, it does feel Rubella-like! (Walks back into his room.)
Phoebe: Come on, give me something. What's his name?
Phoebe: Mike? Okay! What's his last name?
Joey: Why did I have to say Mike? I don't know a Mike! Why couldn't I have said... (Looks through his address book) There's no guy in there!
Monica: He didn't die. I saw his daughter last week. Said he was fine. Her on the other hand, botched Botox.
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Joey: (Checks him out) Okay! (Walks over to his table and sits down with him)
(Monica Enters. Chandler is in the kitchen with his laptop)
Joey: What are you doing? I said seven! (Holds up six fingers.) (Realizes his mistake) Argh!!!
Mike: I'm sorry too. And just to be clear, I didn't hit his mother with a car.
Chandler: And you're thinking of taking it? (Pause) So before you said being me with me was more important than any job, but I guess now it's old job, (Raises his hand) me, (Raises his hand) new job.
Rachel: I know. (Pause) Ross still sees his pediatrician!!! (To Ross) I don't care!
Chandler: Does he say that before he sticks his thermometer in your touchy?
Ross: Hey, I seem to remember someone bringing his security blanket to college!
(Joey opens the door and takes Chandler's suitcase into his own apartment.)
Rachel: Okay, Pheebs, yknow what, lets look at this objectively all right? Ninth grade, right? The obsession starts. All right? The summer after ninth grade he sees me in a two-piece for the first time, his obsession begins to grow. So then
Mr. Geller: I dont know. They-they must be your mothers, but please, please dont ask her. Ill throw these away. (He puts them in his pocket as Ross finds something of interest in one of his boxes.)
Rachel: That's right! 'Cause that would give him the control! So now he's all ooh, coming up with this whole I've got a party thing y'know, trying to get me to hint around for an invitation. Blew up in his face, didn't it?
Chandler: (picks up the phone) All right, you want to see if the joke stealer will let us watch the show at his place?
Phoebe: Well, I am. (Moves over and takes his hand.)
Phoebe: Look, he gave me his night vision goggles and everything.
Monica: (slapping his hand) Hey!
[Cut to Las Vegas, Joey is on the phone and wearing his gladiator costume.]
CHANDLER: Yeah, he let us drive his Jaguar. Joey for 12 blocks, me for 15.
Rachel: (really excited) Great!! It was very, very nice to meet you sir--Ow! Hey! What are you doing?! Are you crazy! (He took out that thing they use to look at people's retinas and looked at Rachel's when she was shaking his hand causing her to flinch and scream at him.)
Ross: Whats up? (He smiles. His teeth are freakishly white.)
Joey: No-no! I used to get paid for all kinds of medical stuff, remember? Lets see uh, well I dont want to donate sperm again. (To Ross) I really prefer doing that at the home office yknow? (Ross nods his head.) Ooh-ooh, maybe they want like some of my blood or-or spit or something, huh?
Joey: Great! (Joey takes his cookie and finishes it.)
[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is playing his music. Monica, Phoebe, and Rachel are sitting on the couch.]
Chandler: Hey! (Runs over and gets his wonder broom)
(Phoebe wants to be angry with Joey, but as she watches him shaking his head in pain and disbelief, she knows that it isn't his fault.)
Chandler: Yes! (Hangs his head in shame.)
(We see that Ross is returning to his apartment with Jill.)
(She grabs his arm and drags him over to a table where three beautiful women are sitting. Now, Im going to go out on a limb and say that their names are Stephanie, Karin, and Meg. Okay, so I looked at the credits. Of course, only Meg is named later on, so Ill have to guess who is Stephanie and who is Karin. But, well cross that bridge when we come to it.)
Chandler: Hey. Do you want this scone? (Holds up his plate) It came for me but it would probably rather sleep with you!
(She goes to close the door, but Chandler puts his foot it in.)
(Ross continues to climb down. He puts his other foot further down on Joeys torso, but that doesnt work very well and hes forced to wrap his legs around Joey. Which then forces Joey to get a nice and close view of Rosss crotch.)
The Teacher: How would you characterize the theme of this book, uh let's see here (looks at his attendance sheet), Rachel Green?
JOEY: Yeah, but then the guy opens his beer and those girls run at him, so, everything seems to work out OK.
Rachel: Yep. Oh, yeah, look you great. (She puts her arm in his and checks how they would look as a couple.) Oh yeah. Yeah, this looks great. (Pause) Umm, so you like it?
Ross: Good-good, Im-Im married. (Shows her his ring.)
Rachel: But! Dont you have to give him his money back?
ESTELLE: Joey, I'm gonna tell you the same thing I told Al Minser and his pyramid of dogs. Take any job you can get and don't make on the floor.
Chandler: Was his question whats more boring than him?
Monica: Youre his bitch.
Monica: Joey just hired Chandler to be his assistant!
(the Charity guy smiles wanting to take the check, but Phoebe pulls it back again. His smile fades.)
Phoebe: Oh youre my biggest fan? Ive always wanted to meet you! Hi! (Shakes his hand.) Sure! Yeah! (Signs the autograph)
Ross: Hey Im sorry to do this to you again but uh, is there any way you can look after Ben for a little bit? I-Ive got this meeting at school. And-and he-he asked for his uh, Fun Aunt Rachel, so
Chandler: Oh, shes got you running errands, yknow, picking up wedding dresses (Laughs and makes like Indiana Jones and his whip) Wah-pah!
Phoebe: Okay. (He grabs his gun and shoots the bird.) Oh! Oh no.
(Ross, urged on by his team-mates, jumps on top of the scrum and falls headfirst into the middle, leaving his feet sticking straight up.)
Rachel: Hey! Joey, would you mind giving me and Ross a hand moving his couch?
Rachel: Well, you might want to tell him it sounds like his wife is (whispers) gay.
Joey: (shrugging his shoulders to go along with it) Vomiting stories are funny...
Chandler: (sticking his head back in) What?
Joey: Oh, no! (Starts that screaming thing again. Rachel stops him by pulling his fingers out of his ears.)
(He opens his present to find Phoebes sock bunny from earlier.)
(The drinks arrive, and Chandler downs his espresso in one gulp.)
[Scene: That same plane cabin, Ross is working on a crossword puzzle and Rachel is asleep against his shoulder. She shifts a little bit and Ross suddenly gets an idea. An evil idea when he looks at his pen. Then we have a little time lapse, the plane has landed and everyone is disembarking. The flight attendant is saying bye-bye to everyone.]
Joey: I know! (Shrugs his shoulders.)
[Scene: Monica and Rachel's erm, Chandler and Joey's, later that morning. The porn is still on, there are three women getting ready to shave the chest of some guy. Joey and Chandler are wondering why that guy is letting them shave his chest, and Monica and Rachel are eating breakfast at the foosball table.]
Rachel: Ohhhhhhhh God. (climbs off his back)
(They all go down the stairs, but Ross turns around, looking like his in a coma. The others also turns around to get him.)
(Camera goes to Joey. The clock is at 20 sec. The word "Legislature" appears. He looks at it blank faced and his eyes shift between Henrietta and his screen)
(Joey nods yes, but suddenly realizes what he did and runs out of the apartment and back to his place.)
[Scene: A Street, Phoebe is walking along with the diplomat (Sergei) and his translator (Mischa).]
Dr. Wesley: (with evil dripping off his tongue) Remoray!
Monica: And Nancy said that it's really under price, because the guy lost his job and has to move in with his parents!
Chandler: Hmm, lets see if it comes up this time. (He looks at his cards and shrugs.)
[Scene: Ross's apartment, his doorbell is ringing and hes running to answer it while doing up his pants.]
Rachel: Well, someone that has his own tux, or has the ability to rent a tux.
Paul: (laughs then checking his watch) 1 minute 50 seconds.
Monica: Oh God! Hes gonna come by and borrow some candles for his big date!
[Scene: Chandler's bedroom, Chandler wakes up, and finds someone else's hand on his chest. He rolls over and is shocked to see Janice there.]
Chandler: (looks down at his clothes) Am I naked again?!
Joey: (slaps Wayne on his cheek) How do you do there, Wayne? (Backs away.)
(He looks around and flashes her his badge and she laughs.)
(Lorraine leaves. Joey shakes his head as though to say, 'It can't be the same Janice.' Janice enters.)
(Monica gets behind him and in combination with his sliding the chair forward and her pushing with her leg manages to get up to the table.)
Ross: Joey?! Joey!! (He runs into his bedroom.)
Rachel: Well, yknow he lost his keys so he was looking for them
(Joey runs up field and fakes out Ross and scores a touchdown. His team all celebrates the touchdown.)
Joey: But Jos got a crush on Laurie. (Ross nods his head) Oh. You mean its like a girl-girl thing? Cause that is the one thing missing from The Shining.
Chandler: Yeah, Ross sure is a great guy, yknow Ive always felt that how a young man turns out is a reflection on his father.
Chandler: (to his children) Look around, you guys. This was your first home. And it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter. But more important, because of rent control, it was a friggin' steal!
[Scene: Another hospital room, Joey has now been admitted and his doctor is about to break the bad news to him, Monica, and Chandler.]
[Scene: Ross walks in the hallway to his apartment and stops in front of his own door. Now he hears two recorders playing a song. When he enters, Sandy and Joey are playing the recorder and Rachel listens.]
Monica: How can you tell? You can only see the back of his head!
(Rachel yanks on his legs again and he groans in pain.)
Phoebe: Oh, if thats what you want you then you really should run his head under hot water and bang his head against a table.
(Ross slams his head down on the table.)
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
Chandler: (sticking his head in the door) Okay to come in?
Janine: (She takes his hands) 3, 2, 1. (She kisses him) Happy New Year.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Joey: Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You just take a big, big swing. Now, dont hold back. (He dons his protective helmet (Why, I have no clue.) and Phoebe picks up a wooden baseball bat and starts to swing as Chandler and Monica enter.)
Mrs. Tedlock: Yes. Well, Mr. Kostelick wants you to stop by his office at the end of the day.
Ross: Sure! Here. (Hands her his keys.)
Ross: Oh. (Starts to get his money)
Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)
Chandler: Because, I-I shouldve called! Yknow if I had just called her after our big, stupid fight, she never wouldve gone out with Nick, and they wouldve ended up in bed together. I threw her at his man nipples!
Phoebe: Oh my God! You got off easy! When my friend Silvie's husband said someone else's name in bed, she cursed him and turned his thingy green.
[Scene: Chandlers gym, He and Ross are there to cancel his membership.]
Rachel: Oh Mon, listen I have to ask! Okay, Joey Tribbiani invited me back to his apartment, now does he do this with a lot of girls?
(Joey exits as Chandler shakes his head.)
Male Jeweler: Uh yes, I have these two rather beautiful $5 bills. (Holds them up from his pocket.)
Paul: Joey! (Goes over and hugs Joey and picks him off of his feet.)
Cecilia: That was good, that was really good. But I-I think your hands maybe a little off, they should be maybe right like (She grabs the back of his neck and kisses him passionately causing them to fall onto the couch.)
Joey: Oh-whoa-wait, Gunther dont-dont forget your shirt. (He gives Gunther his shirt and Gunther leaves.)
Chandler: Thank God! (Grabs his card.)
JOEY: It's just that, I, I'm gonna miss Joseph. I liked him. His wife, she was hot. [Chadler pushes him out the door by the face.]
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is entering. As he closes the door, Joey pokes his head up from a box enclosure built using the 2 chairs.]
Phoebe: Hey! Check it out! This is unbelievable! Joey has been holding his breath for almost four minutes!
Chandler: (with his mouthful) Hi Monica.