words in movies
Ross: Okay, okay. Uh, well uh, Rachel is going to need to yell sweet nothings (Paul enters) in his ear.
(Paul reveals his presence by laughing, thus concluding standard sitcom joke 2B. Paul then pulls Ross aside to have a little chat with him and tells the rest of the group that hell just be one second.)
[Scene: A Dry Cleaners, Joey is there with Phoebe and is trying to get his picture put back amongst the other celebrities hanging on the walls.]
Joey: Joey Tribbiani! From the wall! (The dry cleaner doesnt remember) Okay, maybe this will jog your memory, huh? (Holds his picture up in front of his face.) Huh? Okay eh-ah-anyway, Im ready to go back up on the wall Im the star of a new TV show.
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey is trying to get his picture up again.]
Joey: All right, lets get me back up there! (Holds out his picture.)
(Elizabeth leaves and Ross starts to remove his clothing right there in the middle of the living room where someone can see him. Of course, someone almost does, but he hears a door opening and )
(Ross with his pants around his ankles tries to run, but Dr. Geller forgets that he has his pants around his ankles and falls down trying to flee.)
(Dr. Geller, the man with the Ph.D. in Paleontology, is trying to find a place to hide, but this supposedly intelligent man in the hands of clich�d scriptwriters runs around with his pants down around his ankles like one of the Three Stooges.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey has brought in a bunch of laundry in another attempt to get his picture on the wall, but the dry cleaner isnt working right now. Instead, a beautiful woman is working.]
(Rachel and Elizabeth go upstairs. Paul starts for the car, but notices his luggage is still out and decides to take in into the bedroom.)
[Cut to his bedroom, Ross is listening at the door as Paul opens the door, trapping Ross behind it. With Pauls back turned Ross coils up like a snake and slitters underneath the bed.]
Paul: (standing in front of a mirror and to himself) Just relax. Just relax Paul, youre doing great. (Ross moves a piece of luggage over so he can watch Paul.) She likes you. She Maybe, she likes you. She likes you. Yknow why? Because youre a (pause) neat guy. (Ross cant believe what hes hearing.) You are the man. You are (pause) the man! (He opens his shirt and looks at his chest.) I still got it. Nice and sexy. Youre just a love machine. (Starts singing) Im just a love machine and I wont work for nobody but you! Hey bab-y! (Flexes and grunts loudly.) Showtime. (Starts to leave and starts singing.) Im just a love machine, yeah ba-by! (Grunts again and Ross is stunned.)
[Scene: The Dry Cleaners, Joey and Phoebe are entering to see if his picture is on the wall.]
Joey: Great! (Takes his coffee and leaves.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Chandler is eating breakfast, Joey quietly opens his bedroom door.]
CHANDLER: (Hangs his jacket over the suitcase, locks the door, then turns to Monica.)� Oh well, look at you.
Phoebe: (running up) Okay. Okay, heres what were gonna do. Okay, Im gonna break into this mini-van and put it in neutral. You guys push it forward so Ross can drive out of his spot. Okay? All right, here we go. (She opens her coat and reveals that thing car thieves use to break into cars as Ross jumps in behind the wheel. She inserts the device, unlocks the door, opens it, and the alarm goes off.) Haul ass!!!! (Runs off.)
Joey: Alright, alright, hey yknow fair is fair, (he pretends to wash his hands) if youre right, youre right, what can I say, but hey oh no! (He throws water on the guys pants)
Chandler: Say your son never feels connected to you, as one. Say all of his relationships are affected by this.
Rachel: Yeah well what are you, his boyfriend?
Mike: No, no, to test his neck strength.
Rachel: Oh no no no no no, Gavin can't, he already has plans, most likely with his mother.
Joey: (entering) (He clears his throat to get their attention.) Hey, Rach? Sorry to interrupt but umm, Phoebe wanted me to talk to you about a trip or something.
Ross: Okay umm, why dont we all take a seat, yknow? And uh, and Ill get us all some uh some coffees(He goes to pull out Elizabeths chair, but Paul steps in)Yeah, why dont you. (Paul pulls out her chair) Uh and you guys can talk about whatever, whatever you want. Yknow? Whatever pops into your head. (He turns his back to Paul and Elizabeth and points to himself for Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe. Then he goes to order the coffee.)
Rachel: All right, all right, you're right, I won't do anything with Joey, I just thought that we (Joey enters the hall) Ok so that would be two cups of tarragon, one pound of baking soda and one red onion? (Joey enters his apartment)
(Chandler leans over to fall asleep on the mans shoulder next to him, only the man catches his attempt.)
Monica: "To take you to his mansion in the sky-y?"
[Cut back to Joey about to leave for his audition for Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.]
Chandler: Phoebe, did you see that?! He totally checked you out! He is so cute! (Looking at his tea.) Mine has a picture of The Village People, what does that mean?
Rachel: (gasps) Oh, he brought her back to his apartment.
Rachel: Oh, ju-ju-just stay calm. Just be calm. For all he knows we're just hanging out together. Right? Just be nonchalant. (Joey like stands at attention with his chest forward and his hands on his sides, looking up at the ceiling with his lips pouted.) That's not nonchalant!
(Steve makes a face as if his mouth is too dry.)
[Sequence 3: Chandler throws a pass to Ross, who catches it. Phoebe starts screaming and runs up to him and tries to tackle him. But all she ends up doing is running around his waist and screaming.]
(Ross walks in, eating cotton candy. Monica nudges Chandler who hides the picture in his magazine. Ross sits down on the chair, he seems kinda out of it.)
(He walks out quickly with Emma in his arms.)
(He puts his hand on her shoulder.)
(He points at Steve who's sitting at another table. He's staring at his hands.)
RACHEL: When I was um, 7, I crashed my bike right out in front of his house and to stop me from crying he kissed me right here. [points to the tip of her nose]
[Scene: Phoebes Herbal Guys office, Ross is there about his thing. Ross is looking around the exam room, and he goes over to a large bank of drawers, pulls one out and almost spills it as the herbalist, Guru Saj, enters.]
Rachel: Don't look at me I never get his jokes.
[Scene: The hallway between the bedrooms. Ross is coming upstairs and stops between two doors. He looks at the one on the right, then he looks at the one on his left, thinks about it, and goes in the one on his right.]
[Scene: Hallway, Joey get out of his appartment and Chandler jumps out of his]
[Cut to Chandler, Joey, and Ross's, Monica is getting Chandler ready for his half of the plan.]
Ross: Oh! (He bangs his fists together.)
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
[Scene: Ross's Apartment: Ross is doing something on his laptop when Chandler walks in]
[Scene: The smoker's balcony, Kim and Nancy are out smoking as Chandler sticks his head out the door.]
Rachel: No Phoebe! You cannot get the phone that way; thats not fair! Okay look, I have an idea. Why dont we, why dont we see what kind of number he has on his speed dial, and then from that we can tell who has more in common with him. And then whoever does gets the phone.
Phoebe: Joey and my friend were out last night and having dinner and she reaches over and takes a few of his fries...
Wayne: C.H.E.E.S.E. is right here. (He puts on his headset, picks up the controller, and wheels C.H.E.E.S.E. in. C.H.E.E.S.E. is just a plain old robot on tracks; he kinda looks like No. 5 in the movie Short Circuit.)
Ross: (to Monica)Think he washed his hands?
Phoebe: Oh, youre such a gentleman. (Grabs his arm.) Come on! Were going to my place! (Drags him off to her place.)
Ross: Exactly!! (sits back down at his laptop and starts typing)
Joey: I'm telling you, that monkey is a chick magnet! She's going to take one look at his furry, cute little face and it'll seal the deal.
Joey: Oh and (Ross begins to open the door and Joey says some gibberish word to indicate to Ross that hes not done yet. Ross closes the door again.) Okay, and uh if anyone needs help pretending to like it, I learned something in acting class, try uh, rubbing your stomach (Rubs his stomach) or uh, or saying mmm and uh, oh oh! And smiling (Smiles while pretending to stir a bowl), okay?
Phoebe: Yeah, but did you see the dents in his knuckles? That means he's artistic.
Chandler: Well I was I was exactly expecting company after (He looks at his watch.) 9:15.
Mr. Geller: So when do I get to meet Emma and show her this? (Pulls a bouquet of flowers out of his sleeve.)
(Ross claps his hands)
[Cut to Monica's room, Chandler tackles Joey onto her bed and tries to cover his mouth.]
(Chandler freaks out and loosens his tie.)
JOEY: Thanks for coming Mrs. Greene. [grabs her and kisses her to distract her. She goes limp in his arms. Mr. Greene leaves.] Well, ok, you take care.
Joey: Dude! (he opens his arms to receive the ball from Ross' hands)
Ross: Take thee, Rachel...(All his friends have looks of shock on their faces. He realizes what he said. Quickly he says.) Emily. (A slight chuckle.) Emily.
Joey: (looks perplexed and opens up his robe) Ok... I mean...
Rachel: Ok actually Mon, Matthew was just giving me his phone number.
Rachel: (on phone) Daddy... Daddy... Daddy, why whyyy would I sleep with Billy Dreskin? His father tried to put you out of business! (Rachel turns to Monica, clasping the receiver to her bosom so Dr.Green can't hear, while mouthing "You are...") ...dead!
(Cut to Monica holding up her shirt, revealing her bra. An actor stands beside her, holding a pen in his hand.)
Rachel: No, its Ross. Its Ross. You like Ross. (He just shakes his head.) Oh daddy, I hope youre okay with all of this. I mean think about it, this is a good thing. Youre gonnaThis is your first grandchild! Youre gonna be a poppy!
Ross: No! (Slaps his hand)
PHOEBE: Please. [Ryan pulls the cork with his teeth and spits it into Phoebe's mits.]
(Ross laughs and has a Come on... look on his face as he looks and Chandler who nods his head in agreement with Joey. Ross is stunned.)
Joey: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! So, I walk in the door and make the right (and he bends his arm to the left. Ross then bends Joey's arm to the right and Joey nods)
Joey: (shaking his head as if to say: of course not!) No, no, my mouth says the words, my brain is thinking monster trucks!
Janice: Oh! Sid is still in his room. I don't allow porn at home so this is like a vacation for him. So did you do it? Did you make your deposit?
Ross: Yeah? Joey really knows his art, huh?
[Scene: Central Perk. Ross is playing some shoot'em up game on his laptop]
Joey: (talking to a pineapple in his hand) God, you're beautiful...why are we fighting this?You know you want it to happen as much as I do.
Rachel: And you're gonna want him to eat his heart out so you're gonna have to look fabulous!
Rachel: Right! But, none of that compared to how kind and-and how gentle and thoughtful he is. (Rubbing his shoulder.)
(Joey moves close to Ross and whispers something in his ear)
Joey: Hey-hey-hey, if my friend says its time to go, its time to go. (Starts to leave, but comes back for his cookies.)
Phoebe: Well, Ross does. What... You're - you're ruining the plan! Joey, you've - you've fixed him up with his perfect woman!
Rachel: (trying to divert his attention from the window by jumping up and down) HI!! Hi!
[Scene: Ross's hotel room. Ross and is reading his keynote speech to Charlie from his laptop]
Chandler: So, how would you like to have a baby that's half yours and half his!
[Scene: Joey's apartment. Joey is sitting on his bed and the phone rings]
[Scene: Monica and Chandler's. Chandler is looking at the screen of his laptop, shaking his head.]
(Trying on a hat and talking to his own reflection in the mirror)
(He tries to move in front of the class, only goes out of control and rolls into the hall, catching himself on the doorway with his pointer. He then pulls himself back into the room with the pointer, only he jams one end of it between the door frame and the door and breaks the pointer in half.)
Joey: (throws down a small wad of money, and as his hand twin starts to unfold it, Joey once again brings attention to their special gift to the world. {Y'know, looking at it now, they really don't have that similar of hands. Joey's are bigger.}) Ooh-ho-ho! (The dealer stares at him and he stops.)
Monica: Please, don't listen to Joey, okay. Would you look at him? He-hes obviously depressed. He's away from his family; he's spending Thanksgiving with strangers. What he needs right now is for you to be his friend.
Chandler: I know, that, (looks at her fake chest, and loses his train of thought, temporarily) that's why I don't want to go tonight, I'm afraid I'm going to say something stupid.
[Scene: Ross's apartment, he's having his party, only he's the only guest. He gets up and puts on a nametag that says Ross, but doesn't quite like it. So he takes it off and puts on one that says Dr. Geller and he puts the Ross one underneath the Dr. Geller one. Then as he turns off the music, we hear the party for Howard raging in the apartment across the hall.]
Phoebe: No! Because hes in love with the British chippy! Look, Rachel, if you go, youre just gonna mess with his head and ruin his wedding! Yknow, its too late! You missed youre chance! Im sorry, I know this must be really hard, its over.
Chandler: What are you talking about? The couch is perfectly in line with the carpet. And then I can just walk over here and casually just put my feet right up on the...(Tries to rest his feet on the coffee table but they won't reach) OK, OK, here's what we do, we just uh, move the couch closer to the coffee table.
Ross: I have been down in your store for twenty minutes trying to get a tie! What do I have to do to get some service?! (turns to Rachel) Hi Rach. (He's puts his hand on her shoulder and she knocks it away.)
[Scene: Conference room. Ross is making his keynote speech]
Marc: Hey! Smile! (Points his camera at Ross and Rachel.)
Charlie: Didn't you feel so stupid that you didn't see the signs? My fiancé was always going away on these long weekends with his tennis partner.
Phoebe: So! Ross doesnt really decorate his tree with floss, but you dont hear him complaining do you? God! (Phoebe hits her guitar which wakes up Ross with a start.)
Monica: Yeah, but he wants to talk to you before anything really happens with her. And as his friend, I mean, don't you think he deserves the same from you?
Chandler: She gets crazy! This scar (points to his forehead) is from Pictionary!
Rachel: Joey, you cant let him get away with that. Ya know what, Im not going to let him get away with that. Im going to say something to himNo, I really shouldnt say anythingNo, I should say something to him. (Goes to the counter) Gunther, I want you to give Joey his job back. That is really not fair that you have to fire him
(He looks at his bedroom door, but he can't remember the name of the girl.)
(Rachel, Joey and Chandler pat him on his shoulders and walk off, together with Monica)
Monica: (On the phone) Hello? No, he's not here. Yeah, this is his wife. Yeah, well, it came as quite a shock to me too. I guess I should have known. Yeah, I mean, he just kept making me watch Moulin Rouge.
Joey: Good, and hey! My treat. (He turns to go into his bedroom then stops.) But that's only because you're not eating anything, right?
Precious: Phoebe? Mike's ex-girlfriend Phoebe, the love of his life? That Phoebe?
Tommy: Oh! Oh! The usher must be right! What, with all that training they go through! Get out!! (They start to leave.) Here! (He throws him back his ticket.) (to Ross, calmly) Hey man, you want the aisle?
Ross: (unpacking his bag) Okay, shoot!
(Ross smiles slightly.� Then he gives a single nod that lifts him to his feet.� He exits the coffee shop.
Ross: By the way, the week before your wedding you may not see a lot of me. (She glares at him and he quickly makes his way to Phoebes room.)
Joey: (To the rest of the gang) Hey, see that? He just needed his pal to come home. All right, uh, Ive got to go memorise my lines. (Starts to go his bedroom) Me and Charlton Heston bright and early tomorrow morning! Yeah-yeah!