words in movies
Chandler: I will have one. (Ross and him both take one.)
Phoebe: No thanks, I have a good one too. I just, I, I cant see him.
Ross: Why? Why cant you go to him?
Ross: Thanks, Gunther. (takes the plate Gunther serves him and Rachel comes up and kisses him) (to Rachel) Hey! (to Gunther) Umm, can I get a napkin too?
Rachel: Joey, you cant keep this to yourself, if you know about this, you have to tell him.
Joey: Itll kill him. I mean itll, itll just kill him.
Phoebe: Well, you could wait til I go to the dentist, maybe Ill kill him.
Monica: Here. Ben, do you wanna play the airplane game, do you wanna show Rachel? Come here. (takes Ben) Were gonna do something fun. Okay. (throws Ben up in the air a little bit and catches him) Weee!! (moves into the living room and does it again) Weee!! (starts to walk back into the kitchen as she does it again, and hits Bens head on that wooden beam across the ceiling.)
Rachel: Okay. Okay honey, hes fine, hes fine, lets just put him down. Come here, Ben. (sets him on the couch) See thats a good boy. (to Monica) How could you do that to him!! Ross trusted me, what is he going to say?!
Monica: Hes not gonna say anything, because were not gonna tell him.
Monica: The second that Ross walks in that door, I want you take him back to your bedroom and do whatever it is that you do that makes him go, (high pitched) rweee!!
Rachel: Oh, oh, oh, Ill get Rainy Day Bear!! (runs to get him)
Joey: (stopping him) No, no, you cant, you cant, okay, you cant, you cant buy her pearls, you just cant, you cant, you cant.
Chandler: Ill take it! All right look, I gotta know. Are you finished with me? (Janice shakes her head no) Are you finished with him? (Janice shakes her head no) Do you still love him? (Janice shakes her head yes) Do you still love me? (Janice shakes her head yes) All right look, (grabs the bag) Im gonna need an actual answer here okay, so which is it, him or me? (his phone starts to ring)
Ross: (noticing the outfit he is wearing) Whatd you do, take him whaling?
Phoebe: Oh my God! I killed him! I killed another one! And this curse is getting stronger too, to bring down something that big.
Joey: Well, there is one way. His windows open, I say, we poke him.
Joey: Oh my God, is she going back to him?
Ross: Well, I was just playing with him, and y'know we were doing the alphabet song, which he used to be really good at, but suddenly hes leaving out e and f. Its like they just ah, I dont know, fell out of his head.
Chandler: I think you should go back with Gary. I dont wanna be the guy that breaks up a family, y'know when my parents split up, it was because of that guy. Whenever I would see him I was always think y'know Youre the reason, you are the reason why their not together. and I hated that guy. And it didnt matter how nice he was, or how happy he made my Dad.
Janice: (standing up) Im sorry. (hugs him)
Joey: All right, ladies and gentlemen, lets poke. (they start to advance the giant poking device) Steady. Steady. Okay, a little higher. Careful of the angle. Okay, okay, were approaching the window (as he says this the camera cuts to their view of Ugly Naked Guy, so that we actually see him!) Thread the needle. Thread the needle.
(They thread the needle and start poking him, he then stirs.)
Monica: And yet, were still poking him.
Phoebe: (joining him) Love....
Paula: Honey.. you should always feel the thing. Listen, if that's how you feel about the guy, Monica, dump him!
(Chandler runs out the door and closes it behind him. After a short pause the door opens and Chandler comes rushing back through, grabs Monica, kisses her good-bye, and heads back out.)
(She kisses him, he holds her, and kisses her passionately.)
(Ross sadly hangs up the phone, while Phoebe looks at him. Cut to Rachel at the gate. She gives her boarding pass to the gate attendant, and she goes onboard. The gate attendant closes the door and locks it.)
Joey: Oh, I know how we can decide. Phoebe, show him your game!
ROSS: Uh, actually mom, I think Monica thanked him for the both of us.
Ross: (sarcastically) And you didn't marry him because...?
Monica: Oh my God! I love him!
(Chandler strides proudly across the vestibule and Jill stares at him.)
Ross: That, that is funny... (to Joey).... and Rachel keeps touching him.
Chandler: I just wanted to show Monica your book. (Ross just glares at him.)
(Everyone starts to imitate him.)
[Scene: Chandler and Joey's, Ross still has boxes all over the place. Joey is wearing a football helmet, and Chandler is spinning him around in one of the chairs and counting.]
(Joey leaves and closes the door behind him. Chandler walks towards the living room, but then Joey enters again.)
CHANDLER: Right now, right here. Don't ya think we're in kind of a public plaaaa [Susie grabs him under the table] They do have the shrimp.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is still trying to ease things over with Janice, and there are about a dozen empty Espresso cups in front of him. He is extremely wired.]
[Scene: The Wedding reception, Ross and Emily are in the bathroom and Emily is yelling at him. Rachel, Chandler, Joey, and Monica are standing outside the doorway.]
Mr. Geller: Beautiful! (Turns to watch with him)
Ross: Rach, I think I'm gonna wait out here, because my throat is feeling a little scratchy, I don't want to infect him.
Chandler: Hes not supposed to ask my girlfriend to marry him! Im supposed to do that!
Monica: It's weird, but you know what I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him, gross, drain hair. Ooh! (drops it in Ross's cereal)
[Scene: The Wake, at the Gellers' house. Ross is lying on his back, with Phoebe squatting over him, checking to see if he's injured.]
[Ross gives him an insulted look.]
Monica: Paolo, I really hate you for what you did to Rachel, (hands him a lasagna) but I still have five of these, so heat it at 375 until the cheese bubbles.
Rachel: Y'know what, just give me a second and I'll be out of your hair. I'm just gonna grab a jacket. When I get back, I want every little detail. (There's a knock on the door.) Maybe that's him. (Goes to answer the door.)
Ross: I dropped him off at Carols. (To Phoebe) Anyway, it turns out that Im not going to be able to get those tickets though.
Monica: Alright. Just keep him away from me.
(Ross proceeds to apply copious amounts of the lotion on his legs. He literally starts spraying the back of his legs with the lotion, and as he applies some to his butt he makes a happy face like he enjoyed that sensation. After using about half the bottle he again tries to pull up his pants, but at the first sign of resistance, his hand slips off of the pants and hits him in the forehead.)
Ross: I just Bamboozled Chandler! (Flexes in victory while everyone stares at him.) Which is not uh sexual thing. That was a quick shower.
MRS BUFFAY: Well he left four years ago so we're expecting him back any minute now.
Max: Well, if you see him, tell him to pack his bags. We are going to Minsk.
(She kisses him on the cheek)
Ross: Why would I tell him?
Joey: So are you gonna tell him?
Phoebe: Alright, whadyou do with him?
Mrs. Bing: Alright. (Kisses him)
Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.
Joey: (realizes what he said) Street noise drowned any of that out? (Rachel moves madly towards him) No, all right, I see you later, okay... (Turns away embarrassed)
Monica: Oh, maybe he was getting him confused with his childhood therapist.
Rachel: I mean, we are way past the fling thing, I mean, I am feeling things that I've only read about in Danielle Steele books, you know? I mean, when I'm with him, I'm totally, totally...
PHOE: Yeah, so I said, "OK, relax please," y'know, I mean, sex can be just about two people right there in the moment, y'know, it's, if he wants to see me again he can call and if not, that's fine too. So after a looooot of talking. . . I convinced him.
(Chandler tries to do the same thing but the pen hits him in the head.)
Monica: Tell him.
Phoebe: Tell him, tell him.
Joey: Okay, all right, whew! What do you say we all clear out of here and let these two lovebirds get back down to business? (Ross turns and glares at him.) Hey-hey-hey, I-I-I'm just talking here, he-he's the one doing your sister.
Monica: Just...please tell him.
Chandler: Okay, what do you saw I go over there and say how much I like her? (Joey gives him a thumbs up) No-no it'll be good, I can tell her much I've been thinking about her. That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!
Monica: Look at you, you won't even look at him.
Rachel: All right Joey! That is enough! (Grabs him and pulls him away from Bobby and Dina) Listen, as beautiful and moving as this ceremony is, its not legal. Okay? They-they dont have a marriage license, they dont have any witnesses, and the groom only has on one shoe!
Ross: I dont think so! Youre just giving me Ruth so youll get to name it when its a boy, and thats when youll swoop in and name him Heath or Blaine or Sequoia.
Joey: (To Rachel) Hey, I was pretty close. (She just glares at him.) Uhh, so bad news. Umm, I cant buy the boat, I dont have any money.
Phoebe: Uh-huh, yeah thats too bad. I really want to go to his concert Friday night, but its totally sold out. I know! Why dont you meet him and get tickets?! If you get two Ill take you.
Chandler: That's so weird, I had such a blast with him the other night.
Ross: Yknow, if, if this is too weird for you, we can still back out at (A knock on the door interrupts him.)
All: Loved him! Yeah! He's great!
All: ...No, we hate him.
All: Yeah. Hate him.
Phoebe: You cant fire him and dump him the same day, hell kill himself.
[Scene: Central Perk, Chandler is on the couch as Monica joins him.]
Joey: Thanks, Chandler. (Snuggles up to him)
Joey: Ross and I were helping the girls pack, took a little break, I lost $1,500 to him in Cups!
(Ross goes over to the counter. Chandler follows him.)
Susan: I thought they could...I'll try to get back as soon as I can. I'm sorry. (Ross realizes Kristin was expecting him to laugh, so he starts to laugh hysterically.)
(She kisses him passionately,then leaves.)
Rachel: (to Joey) Coffee. (Hands it to him.)
Rachel: No. (grabs an eggroll) And then I called him, and he wasnt there.
(Chandler, Monica and Phoebe looks at him)
pain as Monica grabs him underwater)-Diet Coke.
Phoebe: Would you stop that! Do you wanna know the first thing she said when she came back from her lunch with Richard? She didn't feel anything for him. She loves you!
Joey: (walks to catch up to him) Alright, look, I'll start, OK?
Ross: Umm, he said he thought I was funny. So (Rachel stares at him.) Okay, look-look umm, let's just go downstairs, we'll have some fun, and you will forget all about it.
PHOEBE: Maybe that's because you haven't taken the time to get to know him. Let's remedy that, shall we?
Chandler: Oh, he's in the back. The duck pissed him off, said that eggs came first.
Monica: I'm so sorry that you had to find out this way. I'm sorry, but it's true, I love him too.
Ross: Ok, well, uh, I can maybe grab a sleeping bag, or...(There's one of those moments. They're staring at each other, no word uttered, and then she leans toward him in order to kiss him, but he ducks and avoids her more than once.) Oh, oh. (he then hugs her and when she tries to kiss him again, he stands up and she falls down on the bed). No, Rach! I'm sorry, I just don't think this, this, this is a good idea.
[Next is a shot of them dragging an enormous plant into the room, then Monica knitting a sweater, then Phoebe singing, then Phoebe shaving him and chatting to Monica]
Chandler: Somebody wanna help me, tryin' to rip out my heart. (they pull her hand off of him) Uh, that's great. (looking around) Anybody seen a nipple?
Rachel: Oh God! Alright, fine. You know what Joey, forget it. When we go back to New York, I will tell him.
Nina: Oh my god! (Rushing over to give him a big hug) Youre amazing!
Chandler: Youre not gonna lose him.
RYAN: If I had one wish, it would be to build a time machine, go back to when I was 7, when Jimmy Hauser had the chicken pox. I would grab that kid and rub him all over my face.
[Scene: The Hospital, it's a montage of Monica and Phoebe's visit to the hospital with My Guy playing in the background. It starts with Monica reading a newspaper to him.]
Joey: Yeah, but, hey look, dont go through her stuff. She gets really mad.(Chandler gives him a look and walks to the door of his old room.)
Guru Saj: Hmm, let me see. Let me see. Do you think you could get him to eat a bat?
Phoebe: Mike knows I'm coming, and if I don't show up he'll think it's because of him! And I don't want to lose face! That's a very serious thing in my culture.
Phoebe: So, um, are you gonna call him?
Dr. Mitchell: I'll take a look at him.
Rachel: Shhhhh! Phoebe! All right, look. I have a little thing for him.
Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.
Monica: (grabbing the gift from him and opening it) Okay! There you go! It's two tickets to Vegas!
Ross: Alright, ok, let's do it. (Ross sits down at the desk and they all gather around him) Uhm, I know we start by discussing the shortcomings of carbon dating... uhm, and then, then I move on to what is clearly the defining moment of the Mesozoic era, the breakup of Pangea, hello! (Rachel and Joey look confused) And then, there's the... eh... there's the overview of the Triassic.
Monica: Well, if you're gonna be totally rational about this, I can't argue with you! All right? Fine, if you wanna tell him, tell him. I just don't want to be a part of it.
Phoebe: Well maybe you dont talk about your feelings back then. Maybe you just say something about yknow all the things that hes taught you. Like (They all try to think about one example and dont succeed.) Or all the things you taught him.
Chandler: Y'know, if you're gonna work late, I could look in on him for you.
Joey: With Carol? (Ross gives him a look.) Oh.
Joey: Hey! (Monica turns and looks at him) Now Im a man of the cloth, but I still have feelings!
Ross: One. (Rachel gives him the card.)
Chandler: Alright, here's ten. (gives it to him)
Rachel: (comes up and rubs him on the chest) Oh Chandler, I know, I know... oh, hey! You can see your nipples through this shirt!
Rachel: Well, if you see him, will you please tell him that Im looking for him and that this I am not gonna throw up!